SHITTY ANNOUNCEMENT
Trigger warning: transphobia
Mel here.
Quick back story... I am transgender, I’ve lived as a woman publicly for at least two years and lived as gender fluid for a year before that. My legal name is Amelia, I am recognised as female by my employer. I have had no medical aid but have fully and socially transitioned to female. I use she or her pronouns.
Last night at The Rockhouse in Andover while we were setting up our gear and getting ready to play, I went to the bar to get some water. The duty manager came up to me as I was waiting and asked if she could have a quiet word before offering me into a quiet area of the venue. She said ‘this is a bit of a touchy subject, but have you had a full sex change?’ I said ‘no, why?’ And she responded ‘then I’m going to have to ask you not to use the ladies toilets. You can use the disabled loo. It is illegal for you to use the ladies (it isn’t) and one of my customers has complained about it.’ I told her that it’s illegal for her to tell me which facilities I can and cannot use, she interrupted me and restated her previous line.
I said ‘okay, we’ll leave then’ and went back to the stage to break down my equipment, I didn’t play a note. I told the rest of Brasher that we weren’t playing as the bar manager had told me I wasn’t allowed to use the ladies bathroom. Members of
SEVEN CROWNS and
Vatican Romp helped us pack up our gear and we all left together. I did argue with myself for a minute about deciding whether to play or not, and concluded that getting out of there was the best thing to do. I didn’t want to be in the same building as someone who so easily pushed me and my identity away as the easy escape for appeasing her sexist and transphobic clientele.
After loading out, I decided to go back in to essentially give the manager the benefit of the doubt. Stu’s wife Nai came with me to find and talk to the manager, who - upon finding her - told us that a customer had made a complaint about me using the ladies toilets. She was adamant that as a manager, she had to make sure all of her customers felt comfortable. She stated that she wouldn’t ever make me use the gents, repeating that she was happy for me to use the disabled toilets.
Each time I started a new and different sentence I was interrupted by her where she would only repeat her statement about her decision as a manager to ensure all her customers were happy. She wasn’t interested in my side, at all. I told her to stop interrupting me and she persisted to talk over me. Nai interjected, asking how the manager would respond if her and Nai were in the same situation, to which she said ‘I would ask you if you had had a sex change too.’ I tried to speak again, got interrupted again, so decided to end the conversation with ‘I will send you a message when you have calmed down’ before heading back to the car (I’m not sending them a message, they can read this instead). She was belittling, ignorant and unwilling to listen to me or Nai. I was also misgendered at least twice by another staff member (I normally let this slide, shit happens tbh).
The Rockhouse in Andover is not a safe establishment for transgender, non-binary or gender queer individuals. Managers, employees and customers at The Rockhouse are not equipped to deal with issues surrounding transgender, non-binary or gender queer people, they are ill-informed and seemingly not in a position to learn from [people like] me. I urge fans, bands, bookers and ALL ALLIES OF LGBT+ PEOPLE to steer clear of this venue and not endorse it in any way.
It is illegal for ANYONE to to tell or suggest to any individual which facilities they can or cannot use in any establishment. It is discrimination, period. Transgender people have protected characteristics under the Equality Act 2010, and so making comments of the above nature is a direct breach of this Act. Asking ANY individual if they have had a sex change is illegal. This is also a breach of the Act. The manager was likely unaware of her breaching the Act but was also not willing to listen to me - I was in a position where I was willing to educate her, but she was not in a position to listen to me. She is not fit to hold a managerial position if she is unaware of what the Equality Act states and is also unable to listen to a person trying to defend them self in the event of discrimination.
The Rockhouse - music venue: consider yourselves blacklisted.
Everyone else: please use the share button. Be an ally to trans people. Speak out and speak up against ignorance and prejudice, we need you and your voice. There is zero place for transphobia or discrimination in modern society.
