Star Wars Griefing Thread (SPOILERS) - Safety off

[Shield Breaker]

Here's a nightmare for you. Seeing the continued decline of SW in popularity, Disney decides to add some of the space-faring Marvel characters into the series. I know that it seems like a ridiculous idea, but they already added coke to the universe just to sell it at Galaxy's Edge.

 

[The Nothingness]

A part of me saying this is a nice gesture. Another part of me is saying, "Really?"

https://movieweb.com/star-wars-jedi-riley-howell/

Lucasfilm has honored shooting victim and hero Riley Howell, a student at the University of North Carolina at Charlotte who died while trying to prevent a gunman from killing more of his classmates. The Disney owned company has made him into a Jedi who exists within the official Star Wars canon. Howell was a big Star Wars fan and, following his heroic act in April of this year, Lucasfilm reached out to his family to let them know he would be immortalized as part of a galaxy far, far away as a way to honor his courageous act.

This all started when a fan contacted Lucasfilm on May 4 letting the company know what a huge fan Riley Howell was following his passing. The UNC Charlotte shooting left two dead and four others injured. However, authorities have stressed that Howell's action almost certainly prevented further loss of life. Howell's Star Wars fandom became a big part of the conversation after the fact. That, coupled with the letter, got Lucasfilm's attention and, later that month, Lucas Seastrom of the Lucasfilm Fan Relations Team wrote the following in a letter to Howell's family.

"Riley's courage and selflessness brings out the Jedi in us all. As a small tribute, our Story Group has incorporated a re-imagining of Riley's name as a character in the Star Wars galaxy. We can't reveal the specific details at this time, but the character's name will appear in a forthcoming book publication later this year."

Riley Howell's inclusion in the franchise came in the recently released Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker Visual Dictionary. Lucasfilm played with his name a bit to make it sound a bit more Jedi-like, dubbing him as Jedi Master Ri-Lee Howell. The passage about Ri-Lee reads as follows.

"Jedi Master and historian Ri-Lee Howell collected many of the earliest accounts of explorations and codifications of the Force in the Aionomica: a two-volume combination of codex, correspondence and scrapbook. Though much of its contents would later be stored in holocrons (which have since been lost), the physical books have passages written in the hands of the original sages, carefully preserved by Howell."

So, not only did Howell become a Jedi, based on this passage, he was a very important one. Given the nature of the sacred Jedi texts in Star Wars, it's entirely possible we could see Ri-Lee pop up in future stories, be it in animation, comics, novels or maybe even a show on Disney+. Riley's mother, Natalie Henry-Howell, had this to say about her son's inclusion in the universe.

"I like the way they actually left his last name. I think he would really be appreciative of that. Because, you know, they could have just said Ri-Lee, Jedi Ri-Lee, and we'd be guessing the whole time about whether or not that was really [him], but they put his last name in there just to really honor him... and that really made me cry when I heard about it."

The Star Wars fandom is divided right now. Many of us are debating The Last Jedi and/or The Rise of Skywalker. But at the heart of this bickering is something we all love and its message has always been a positive one. Star Wars is about good conquering evil. Overcoming hatred. Riley Howell certainly embodied the ideals of the Jedi and, as fans, perhaps we can all learn a lesson from Jedi Master Howell. May the Force be with him, always. This news comes to us via the Charlotte Observer.

 

[Clark Kent]

You know damn well they're going to do a Marvel/Star Wars comic crossover at some point. They're just waiting for the "toxicity" to waver. Deluded fucks. They don't even get why fans of both don't want or need one. We know this. They just don't get Star Wars.

EDIT: Why's he gotta be Ri-Lee? Riley could easily exist in a universe with names like Ben, Luke, Han, and Owen. Whatever.

 

[Commander X]

 

[Miller]

I have a small request, I remember seeing a picture on 8/sw/ (it's gone now) that was probably from a SW comic, it was a POV scene with a group of troopers ready to beat the shit out of someone (either a jedi or a rebel). Has anyone seen that pic before? Thanks.

 

[StarkRavingMad]

Sequelanstifer (Inciter of sequels)
Sequelverlängerer (Prolonger of sequels)

This guy is probably the least attractive man I have ever had the displeasure of witnessing. He is a cornucopia of cringe. The moment I saw his infamous trailer reaction video, my immediate reaction was: "It happened. I found the most unattractive man on the planet. This guy is a nightmare."

I finally saw his Rise of Skywalker review, and he was so hilariously arrogant and prickish about everything ... So this isn't a case of "I'm vapid because I'm judging someone by their looks." Nah, this guy's personality is so cringeworthy and unappealing in every way possible. I am shocked that he has a partner. Absolutely shocked. There's someone for everyone, I guess.

He is a specimen to be studied. And mocked. I'd have more empathy for him if he was actually a nice person, to be totally honest ... But he doesn't even have that going for him.

 

[Shroom King]

Just got back from episode 9. As a stand alone film, it is pretty good. If you know nothing about Star Wars, you can follow pretty much everything in this film. Unfortunately, the vast majority of people who are interested in this film have an understanding of Star Wars.

Rian Johnson and Kathleen Kennedy sabotaged the brand with The Last Jedi, and I don't envy the sorry bastards who had to make the Rise of Skywalker. I understand JJ Abrams had to pull shit out of his ass on a very time schedule.

However, JJ Abrams sucks at ass-pulls. This movie would have been better if they ditched the entire Palpatine plot. Yes, I understand that Palpatine coming back is the majority of the movie, but bringing him back creates so many more plot holes and nonsense than it solves. The first three words of the opening crawl made me thought I died and went to heaven and I was watching Spaceballs 2 instead. How horribly wrong I was...

The film could have been workable without Palpatine. Just have Hux find out about Kylo Ren's relations to Leia and Han and stage a mutiny and then Kylo Ren has no fleet and is forced to team up with Rey to help destroy the monster he created. You could have Hux tell his men in a rousing speech "how can you trust a man who killed his own father?"

Also fuck Maz. The "Obi-Wan mentor-type" should have been Luke, Leia or even Han, but they fucked that up to no end, didn't they? Having

Spoiler: sperging about the Star Wars OT

Maz give Chewbacca his medal is giving a middle finger to A New Hope, Disney is telling us Lucas is a dumbfuck and Disney finally corrected something I stopped thinking about 20 years ago

 

[Jaimas]

Sequelanstifer (Inciter of sequels)
Sequelverlängerer (Prolonger of sequels)

Honestly whilst a laughingstock, he does have one redeeming feature: He didn't restrict ratings or comments on his videos at all (if that's changed, do let me know), and provided they weren't trenchant insults he left pretty much all of them up. That puts him leagues above others of his ilk, and I'd watch a thousand of him before watching an Andrew Ohning video once.

 

[Happy Fish]

Here's a nightmare for you. Seeing the continued decline of SW in popularity, Disney decides to add some of the space-faring Marvel characters into the series. I know that it seems like a ridiculous idea, but they already added coke to the universe just to sell it at Galaxy's Edge.

To be honest, I think you predicted the future.
Edit: Rey * Captain Marvel crossover for maximum vaginal superpowers when? Fuck it. Let's convince Disney to absorb Ghostbusters in their next bartering session with Sony and cram them in somehow.

 

[The handsome tard]

As StarkRavingMad said, I dont hold nothing against him for the trailer reaction ITSELF...he looks like a soyboy at the extreme but thats besides the point, its the fact he is the perfect speciment for the "Dont ask questions, just consume product and then excited for next products". And he is such a defensive asshole about it, its clear he isnt the one wearing the pants in the relationship. Im also one that thinks that while appearances arent everything, they are already a sign of how the person is like most of the times, because think about it, he needs the self awareness that he isnt the most attractive man there is...so he should go after the solution but he doesnt and just cries at a trailer for a shit film made by shitty people who gives no shit to him. You need to strive to not be a pathetic fuck like him.

 

[RomanesEuntDomus]

Also here's the book's only attempt at trying to explain the "Holdo Maneuver":
View attachment 1071495

Soooooooooooo. Let me get this straight:
They retconned the original explanation, that it only worked due to the Raddus' experimental shields (in itself a retcon to the movie), so now the distance is what made it so special and hard to duplicate? Bitch. Fucking. Please.

If anything, this makes it even easier to duplicate. For comparison:

The moon is (on average) ~384,402km (~238,856 miles) away from the earth. That is 1.282 light seconds.
In 1969, a reflective surface was put on the moon to measure this via a laser and the precision of that method back then was a deviation by at most 15 cm (6 inches). That is less than 0.0000000004%.
Nowadays, we are able to calculate the distance of the moon up to a precision of within 1 milimetre (or <0.04 inches). Less than 0.0000000000003%.

And now these chucklefucks tell me Star Wars spaceships with their futuretech can't just do the same, like it would be a giant fucking obstacle to come up with a targeting system that calculates the perfect distance to perform the jump and then just fuck shit up.

Even the old, silly explanation from the TLJ novelization about the experimental shields was better, since you could argue that it's a special kind of large shield emitter that needs copious amounts of energy that only a capital ship can generate, then -and only then- would it make a tiny amount of sense to not built such a weapon (but it would still make any ship larger than a standard Capital ship useless, since it can be light-speed-rammed with ease). It's still not a good explanation, since miniaturisation of such tech would be the single most important endeavour of any Navy within the galaxy, but it at least would explain why you don't see X-Wings just ram entire fleets of Star Destroyers into oblivion. And that is assuming the novel even gives such a reason. Afaik, it only goes "The experimental shields caused the damage on Snoke's ship" but they don't mention that the shields can't be used on a smaller craft.

But even if we are lead to believe that the precision needed for such a ramming to be successful is far greater than what a Star Wars ship sensor is able to do, then how lucky was Holdo to get it right on her first and only attempt? Even with this explanation, it's still a massive contrivance in the plot.

I have to give it to Ruin Johnson, one scene, most likely one of the most stunning looking in the entire trilogy, is the single biggest fuckup in the entire franchise and even after 2+ years, Disney is still struggling to cover it up.

To think that Disney gloated so much about that supposed "plot hole" of the Death Star exhaust hole, where they even make an entire movie to explain how that hole was created to sabotage the Death Star and now we have... this.

The Rise of Skywalker is now grossing a box-office of $598.3 million to its $275 million budget.

Well, minus whatever the theatres take and the terms outside the US aren't as sweet as inside for Disney.

That is not a Resistance, that's a White Nationalist Neo-Nazi group holed up in Asshole, Idaho compared to what the First/Last Order could field.

And those ships are, what, 20-30 years old by this time, with how much fighting flight time and hyperspace time on their frames and engines?

>Insert Rant on modern 4th Gen Warfare
>Insert Rant on Flight Logistics
>Insert Rant on Just Plain Stupidity

Remember what I said about how the the new trilogy didn't feel like it had any weight?

There's your fucking weight right there.

24 light attack craft and a fucking smuggler's flying junkpile.

Go Go REEEEsistance.

The standard Star Destroyer used by the FO carries 2 wings of TIE Fighters, so 144 fighters in total.
Seriously, from the PoV of the First Order, the REEEsistance is hardly relevant enough to wear out your barrels by shooting at them. 24 fucking fighters at best? Fuck that noise, the FO has more capital ships than the REEEsistance. No seriously, according to the Wookiepedia, the FO had at least 30 such ships in service, every single one equipped with almost 150 TIE Fighters each. I'm just completely dumbfounded by this unbalance of forces.

 

[Classic Four-Leaf]

The only thing I believe could generate the same level of excitement is full-bore nostalgia pandering that either retcons or ignores everything that Lucasfilm put out from 2012 to 2022. That means just picking up where Return of the Jedi left off, with new actors, and with the characters going on some new adventure within the first 5 years after of the Battle of Endor. If a movie or two of that works, then maybe adapt the Thrawn trilogy, or either Shadows of the Empire or Dark Forces.

Fuck the past in the ass, nobody gives a shit about Rey Sheevwalker and her Chinese knockoff brigade except insufferable feminist cunts and their detestable corporate-loving soy lords.

I agree. Nothing short of retconning the sequel trilogy out of existence and getting back to basics is going to save Star Wars. Nobody outside of the SJW/left-wing crowd wanted to see Luke, Han, and Leia destroyed like this. The best thing to do would be to throw out the Abrams/Johnson/Kennedy canon, pick up from Return of the Jedi, and let the characters progress in a direction that's consistent with what the original films established. It doesn't have to be a carbon copy of the old EU (and really, it shouldn't), but it absolutely needs to be something that honors what came before and stays true to the characters as they were. Do that, and Star Wars will be a huge moneymaker again.

And frankly, with Carrie Fisher gone and Mark Hamill being such a left-wing weirdo these days, I don't think too many people would be opposed to seeing new actors in the classic roles provided the stories are good.

 

[ASoulMan]

How the Resistance is still pathetic after a whole year's worth of conflict is beyond me. It also shows that the First Order, as terrifying as it's supposed to be, can hardly take down a tiny ass group of ships despite being able to nuke the New Republic's entire fleet because of the latter's own incompetence.

And that's how there's only conflict in this trilogy; both sides keep making stupid decisions after stupid decisions.

 

[2021Murder]

https://deadline.com/2019/12/star-w...isguise-post-christmas-box-office-1202817539/

Weekend officially down 59%, still not good but it will be much worse next weekend because unlike TLJ most people will be back at work. TLJ had a great release window too, two weekends before major holidays. This film cant rely on another holiday to boost its box office. Another drop of 60% or more expected.

Internationally it dropped 50+ percent meanwhile jumanji 3 has dropped 1% internationally.

 

[AnOminous]

https://deadline.com/2019/12/star-w...isguise-post-christmas-box-office-1202817539/

Weekend officially down 59%, still not good but it will be much worse next weekend because unlike TLJ most people will be back at work. TLJ had a great release window too, two weekends before major holidays. This film cant rely on another holiday to boost its box office. Another drop of 60% or more expected.

Internationally it dropped 50+ percent meanwhile jumanji 3 has dropped 1% internationally.

This is the sort of movie that anyone who gives a fuck about Star Wars for its own sake, for whatever reason you would do that at this point, would have made a point to see over the holidays, maybe with family or friends. Jumanji 3 is something you'd see whenever you got around to it.

 

[RomanesEuntDomus]

I agree. Nothing short of retconning the sequel trilogy out of existence and getting back to basics is going to save Star Wars. Nobody outside of the SJW/left-wing crowd wanted to see Luke, Han, and Leia destroyed like this. The best thing to do would be to throw out the Abrams/Johnson/Kennedy canon, pick up from Return of the Jedi, and let the characters progress in a direction that's consistent with what the original films established. It doesn't have to be a carbon copy of the old EU (and really, it shouldn't), but it absolutely needs to be something that honors what came before and stays true to the characters as they were. Do that, and Star Wars will be a huge moneymaker again.

And frankly, with Carrie Fisher gone and Mark Hamill being such a left-wing weirdo these days, I don't think too many people would be opposed to seeing new actors in the classic roles provided the stories are good.

Problem is: Disney has painted itself into a corner with their shill-inflicted rhetoric about entitled old fans and how important the nuFans are and all that jazz.
Ditching the ST would mean admitting that this was all just a sham and Disney can't do that, since they would get a major social media shitstorm.
It would also mean admitting that Disney had absolutely no clue what they did with the ST, that they fucked up and Disney can't do that since their investors get angry.

Worst of all: Carrie Fisher is dead, Harrison Ford is unlikely to do much more than what he did in Plan IX (he didn't even bother to shave for crying out loud), so I don't see them making a new ST even if they wanted to.

Their future strategy will be very simple, they'll just pretend the ST doesn't exist as best as possible. No characters or situations from the ST will carry over, they will only be mentioned in passing (if at all) and a new trilogy will do its best to not touch up on the ST at all. I guess they'll only mention stuff from the OT with only a minor nod towards what happened thereafter with a certain amount of retcons going on. Like how newer media about Rey's time on Frog-Nun-World pretended Luke actually trained her.

Speaking of Disney painting itself into a corner, I am wondering if Disney back in 2017 actually encouraged influencers and journalists to shill for TLJ with the "It is only hated by bigots and russian trolls"-rhetoric and if that now backfired after undoing everything from TLJ with the same shills using the same rhetoric against Disney.
In short, did Disney create the monster that now haunts it itself?

I guess there's also a few people who enjoy TLJ (these idiots) and then there's people who bought into the rhetoric despite not having any direct connection to Disney and they now run amok with the same rhetoric.
A strange thought that popped up in my mind: Rumor has it that journalists and critics disliked TLJ, but Disney's power in Hollywood forced them to give it great ratings. Maybe after seeing Disney now shitting on TLJ themselves, these same people are bitter towards the brand...

 

[Neet Tokusatsu]

Sequelanstifer (Inciter of sequels)
Sequelverlängerer (Prolonger of sequels)

What's that thing on his cheek anyway? it doesn't look like a mole

 

[RomanesEuntDomus]

What's that thing on his cheek anyway? it doesn't look like a mole

Degeneracy, I would assume.

 

[Doctor of Autism]

What's that thing on his cheek anyway? it doesn't look like a mole

Looks like a scab mark

 

[Godzilla@1989]

Well, only two more days before Disney gets a dry, underwhelming 2020. And it’ll be a noticeable final year for Iger.

They literally only have two movies worth giving a damn next year, Onward and Black Widow. They don’t have Dune, No Time to Die, Tenet, Top Gun 2, or Sonic.