Amberlynn Reid - 600 pound pathological liar and U-Haul lesbian moving in with her next live-in maid/nurse/girlfriend.

[Situation Type Deal Gorl]

She just posted. Oh my god, one of her resolutions is to 'think about college'

It's a lot easier than actually doing it. I predict, without even watching the thing, that most of her bullshit "resolutions" are both not concrete ("lose weight" as a generalization) and things that will not happen this year or any other.

 

[frobscottle]

What the fuck, they actually believe listening to certain songs will magically make them lose weight?

Only the 13-16 year old pro-anas who don’t understand CICO yet which is basically Amberlynn’s mental age and mindset so it’s a match made in heaven!

 

[Burger King]

'We were playing a card game where it told me to accentuate my double chin and post to social media.'

 

[krazy orange cat]

I still want her to discover the panacea that is Jilly Juice, though I fear just one dose would kill her and ruin the fun.

 

[Moonpie]

And she thinks this makes her endearing.

View attachment 1077353

Seeing some hair on that behemoth moonface.

 

[dingobaby]

I need her to start hoarding moisturizer god damn

she's a dry gorl

 

[Sodium-King-90]

'We were playing a card game where it told me to accentuate my double chin and post to social media.'

Uhh... news flash, honey.... You don't NEED to "accentuate" your double chin when it's what most of your face consists of.

 

[Hamberlard Raid]

I still want her to discover the panacea that is Jilly Juice, though I fear just one dose would kill her and ruin the fun.

The ultimate crossover in lolcows. It would be interesting to see Jillian and Hamber try to discuss health and biochemistry. Their collective tendencies to craft their own re.tarded conspiracy theories/delusions is what makes them so full of m.ilk. Amber starting the JillyJuice protocol may actually make 2020 interesting for our gorl.

 

[Burger King]

I forgot she said she wants to walk one million steps.

 

[Red Mask]

She can't even count to a million much less walk that.

 

[SisterChristian]

She can't even count to a million much less walk that.

It's a cute number for a cute gorl.

 

[Sodium-King-90]

She can't even count to a million much less walk that.

Don't ya know, she went to college and studied criminal justice!? She smart, honey boo boo!

 

[PB4ZZZ]

I forgot she said she wants to walk one million steps.

In order for her to walk a million steps she'd have to commit to walking at the very least 1 mile per day every single day for 365 days... going on a stride that is considerable shorter than average. (An average stride = 2000 steps per mile and in order to reach a million steps in 1 year would require 2700ish average steps per day)

As someone else said her joints would give out long before she reached that goal. I am dumbfounded why she wouldn't make a more reasonable goal like...oh I dunno... be able to walk 1 mile in 20 minutes by the end of 2020. But I guess if you make yourself unattainable goals it feels like less of a failure when you can't follow through.

 

[Situation Type Deal Gorl]

In order for her to walk a million steps she'd have to commit to walking at the very least 1 mile per day every single day for 365 days... going on a stride that is considerable shorter than average. (An average stride = 2000 steps per mile and in order to reach a million steps in 1 year would require 2700ish average steps per day)

As someone else said her joints would give out long before she reached that goal. I am dumbfounded why she wouldn't make a more reasonable goal like...oh I dunno... be able to walk 1 mile in 20 minutes by the end of 2020. But I guess if you make yourself unattainable goals it feels like less of a failure when you can't follow through.

Wait, you mean most people don't go from zero walking and scootypuffing around Wommart to 3K steps a day? What madness is this? Don't you know Big Al knows what works for her?

 

[Mandaark]

the only way she'll reach 1mil is if the device registers all of the jiggling from her rolls as steps

a few hobbles around the yard and she'll get there in no time you haydurs

 

[Fatguypewdiepie]

View attachment 1077353

This is what necky sees when she's trolling around amber's caves

 

[SituationTypeThing]

the only way she'll reach 1mil is if the device registers all of the jiggling from her rolls as steps

a few hobbles around the yard and she'll get there in no time you haydurs

Ye of little faith!!!! She can strap her apple watch around twinkie's midsection, and let her out more often. It doesn't matter what amber DOES, she's just going by what the app says.

 

[frobscottle]

All of this talk is getting me thinking about how she honestly has barely scratched the surface of crash/yo-yo diet hell. I want Amber to live a long, miserable, and hilarious life. There are so many diets we haven’t seen her on yet! So many cycles to be had! How about some South Beach or IU diet? Maybe she can purchase some waist trainers or sweet sweats and use them on her swollen thighs? She hasn’t done much more than WW, improper CICO, and Optaviviva for the camera. Give us a master cleanse! a juicing kick complete with detox bunk and purchasing a $800 juicer!
Gorl can’t even properly engage in diet culture. That shit would be legitimately entertaining. Oop, there goes all the mental energy I’m willing to expend on this for the month bye

 

[DefCon Dumb]

I don't think her steps are any longer than 2 feet - she simply doesn't have the freedom of motion to take larger steps. So roughly 2,640 of her steps to reach a mile & no way in hell I'm prepared to believe she's on her feet for anything close to that. Nor will she be.

 

[Mesh Gear Fox]

What the fuck, they actually believe listening to certain songs will magically make them lose weight?

Chris-Chan believed they were growing him a vagina. Then he cut his taint open with a knife to free it.