I normally like to do a supplementary recap with funny highlights to
@Alto's original but this episode just didn't have much that you could laugh about. It's all just so incredibly sad. I honestly wonder if Jazz's crazy stress and panic reactions and bizarre 'copes' (crying, literally unable to recall/voice the words of the song he'd written, "oh a dark closet, good I can hide here" - it was literally 'trapped in the closet' for old South Park fans) were because he either
consciously realises it's all been a horrible mistake for him and he doesn't
want to 'succeed' and raise the money so Noelle can get mutilated the same way, or his subconscious is screaming it at him and his aware self is just spinning out doing everything it can to drown out the noise... I really think he's becoming somewhat aware, and all this anxiety/self-sabotage is serving a purpose for him...
I've seen it before with friends and family, the body/mind finds a way to say NO, NO NO NO NO NO THIS IS NOT OK ANYMORE and eventually there's a breakdown and (with appropriate help and support, which sadly I don't see Jazz getting) the person finally comes to terms with what every cell of their body is trying to tell them... maybe I'm just too optimistic, but Jazz's 'anxiety' appeared every time he had to do something towards making Noelle's fundraiser work... something in him is screaming 'I don't want (even my shitty, jealous, depressing, 'frenemy') friend to go through the same torture and regret I'm going through,' and you can see it, it's visceral, it's in his bones... I hope.
Also - this episode isn't just sad, it's rage-inducing... Jazz is clearly not okay. We know he's not a good actor. His panic and stress is real. So fuck the producers of the show for 'creating more drama' by having 'Peppermint' the drag queen agree to host the fundraiser, then pull out at the last minute (sending Jazz into a genuine spiral) and then SURPRISE! he showed up on the day... I know television, I know the industry, the producers would have set all that up just to create some drama for the show (and as I said, jazz is a shit actor, I don't believe he was 'in' on the plan one bit, his meltdown was real - which is fine when you're dealing with adults who know what kind of crazy manipulation they're in for when they sign up for 'The Bachelor' or whatever, but Jazz is not well, he is mentally fragile, he is 18 but for all intents and purposes he is still mentally a child... fuck them, seriously. It was a stupid and dangerous thing to do given Jazz's current mental state and it just proves no one gives a shit about this kid and they are actively encouraging the breakdown we're seeing in his mental health for ratings... I've been in 'the industry' a long time and honestly, this 'storyline' made my blood boil. So irresponsible...
The kid is not okay. He's clearly reckoning with some big realisations, and he has no healthy coping mechanisms... it's become a horror show.
(I won't even get into straight men and women appropriating drag for the fundraiser when
Noelle actively dislikes drag because he (correctly) thinks it often makes a mockery of real women... and as for the 'performances' - walking up and down a catwalk, no singing, no dancing, not even lip synching... WTF?) Also as a Bowie fan, Jazz's aborted original song about 'a person from the stars who comes to earth to say your biological sex doesn't matter, do whatever you feel expresses your true self even if that means taking things normally associated with the opposite gender, it's 2020 and we're all free to do that!' - Jazz, David Bowie was about 50 years ahead of you with the same message, and a million times more talented... literally, there's 'Starman,' and 'Ziggy Stardust' (from Mars) and at least a half-dozen songs of his with pretty much the same themes I can think of off the top of my head... how could he not know about David Bowie, who helped make 'gender-bending' more acceptable to the mainstream and even something of a trend? Does Jazz honestly think he's the chosen one and no one has come before him with practically identical ideas? Argh!