Wuhan Coronavirus: Megathread - Got too big

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I know I said my last toilet paper post was my last toilet paper post. (I didn't even tell you about the toilet paper truck crash, [srsly]).

But this. 💔

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Go and hug your grandparents and/or your elderly neighbour.
I thought I was going to read that that was an empty shelf of depends, I'm not kidding, and my heart sank.
 
How come media and government say that washing hands will keep you safe from Corona seems like the same advice of ducking under a desk will save you in a nuclear bomb?
I've heard this many times over the past three or four days. "Sing the happy birthday song to yourself TWICE!".

I think they have NFI what is going on with this virus. The best virologists do not understand it, or they do and their advice is being diluted by bureaucracy. Self isolate for seven days. No, make it fourteen. Actually, shit someone is diagnosed after twenty-three days, make it a month.

Wash your hands. There's no need to panic buy. Keep calm. But be alert. Just stay calm, the Government has everything under control.

[I wish they would be upfront and say they have no understanding of the way this virus operates.]
 
So far, Coronachan has...
  1. Reduced China's carbon emissions by 25%.
  2. Gave China the cleanest air it's seen in decades.
  3. Revealed Emperor Poohyi's incompetence, greed, and sheer malice.
  4. Revealed the Chinese Government's incompetence, greed, and sheer malice.
  5. Showed the Chinks why eating bushmeat is fucktarded.
  6. Spurred divestment from China.
  7. Revealed the dangers of globalization, and why concentrating all your industry in a third-world country is stupid.
  8. Revealed the incompetence of the WHO.
  9. Revealed the incompetence of the CDC.
  10. Revealed the incompetence of the EU.
  11. Began the purge of Boomers and Old Fucks, helping break the political and social stagnation we've had since the 90s.
  12. Rescued Social Security by culling the Boomers.
  13. Forced San Francisco to clean up it's homeless camps.
  14. Fucked over Hollywood.
Can I vote for Coronavirus in the 2020 elections?
 
4:22 p.m. Quarantined Northern California nurse says CDC won’t test her: A nurse at an undisclosed Kaiser hospital is under quarantine after developing flu-like systems days after treating a patient with a confirmed case of coronavirus. The nurse’s doctor and a county health officer ordered a coronavirus test, but the CDC first declined to issue a test and then put the nurse on a waiting list. “Delaying this test puts the whole community at risk,” the nurse wrote in a statement issued by the California Nurses Association. The CNA did not say which county or which Kaiser hospital.

Yeah, we're not too far off from China in regards to under-reported cases, though the reasoning may differ. I think I may have a good guess as to which Kaiser facility this is (or two possibilities), but it's still just a guess. There's two Kaiser Permanente facilities near the base where a lot of the doctors who work at David Grant here on base go to moonlight and whatnot. There's one in Fairfield and one in Vacaville. Guess which one is in Solano County, which has three confirmed cases so far? I know I'm being pessimistic here, but I just can't stop replaying the clip in my head of those unmasked civilians carrying supplies into the base QZ with confirmed infected people.
 
Can anyone translate any of what's being said here? I wanna be sure I'm not just being taken for a ride by fake news.


Raw video is attached in spoiler below.

 
"It's not our fault it's their fault!"
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Oh fuck bros I have a fever and my lymph nodes are swollen. No cough though, I swear this shit happens to me during each pandemic like some kind of cosmic joke.
do you have a sore throat as well? if so and then you develop a cough soon, that seems to be the pattern with whatever bug is going around where i live. i came down with that shit like late january, and a while after the cough i developed bronchitis, then a week later ended up finding out i have asthma during a bout of dying (hyperbolically) in the waiting room on a second visit after condition worsened. the fever became low-grade and never left.

99.2F. I'm almost always somewhere between 99.1 and 100.5. This was confirmed in doc appointments, so the thermometer isn't broken or something. It's weird because I normally almost never get a fever, so having one constantly is odd.
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Oh fuck bros I have a fever and my lymph nodes are swollen. No cough though, I swear this shit happens to me during each pandemic like some kind of cosmic joke.

I'd tell you to find the monkey so we could make the antidote, but those dirty Chink bastards probably ate it already. Seriously though; I live in Brooklyn and am having mild but weird upper respiratory issues along with a dry cough. I take solace in the fact that if I get it I could borrow my friends truck and gun it to CDC headquarters to facefuck that PRC ass licking bastard.
do you have a sore throat as well? if so and then you develop a cough soon, that seems to be the pattern with whatever bug is going around where i live. i came down with that shit like late january, and a while after the cough i developed bronchitis, then a week later ended up finding out i have asthma during a bout of dying (hyperbolically) in the waiting room on a second visit after condition worsened. the fever became low-grade and never left.

99.2F. I'm almost always somewhere between 99.1 and 100.5. This was confirmed in doc appointments, so the thermometer isn't broken or something. It's weird because I normally almost never get a fever, so having one constantly is odd.
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Da fuq? I've been having some mild difficulty breathing along with chest tightness and a dry cough the last couple of days. Did you guys have weird itchy bumps on your hands prior to this? I thought I was having an alergic reaction or something.
 
I'd tell you to find the monkey so we could make the antidote, but those dirty Chink bastards probably ate it already. Seriously though; I live in Brooklyn and am having mild but weird upper respiratory issues along with a dry cough. I take solace in the fact that if I get it I could borrow my friends truck and gun it to CDC headquarters to facefuck that PRC ass licking bastard.


Da fuq? I've been having some mild difficulty breathing along with chest tightness and a dry cough the last couple of days. Did you guys have weird itchy bumps on your hands prior to this? I thought I was having an alergic reaction or something.
I agree with above, it sounds like your skin is irritated. the chest tightness, difficulty breathing and dry cough are consistent though.
 
Two more people being investigated in quarantine.


This guy wants to take on Corona Chan. Wish him luck.




Corona Chan messed with the wrong rocket man.

AMD's Financial Analyst Day is going on right now. Hopefully there isn't much of a crowd. And Corona-chan isn't a big AMD fan.

So lil Kim is threatening to shoot Chinese people who come to close to Bestest Korea. Oh there are oh so many amusing ways this can go down. Not the least of which would be Xi stampeding a herd of Uighur at NK to let Kim do his dirty work for him. While Kim's state of panic and desire to not get infected is understandable, where and who does he think his food comes from? I mean other than the feeble hope that Trump decides to crank call every Domino's in the world to deliver to Kim's address?
 
@Nonconsentual Pronouns: The 71 year old guy who died in Rocklin, Placer County, California, was treated at Kaiser in nearby Roseville. My doc again told me this, or I heard it from KCBS-AM. Fuck, my fucking wetware is so full of various corona facts that I can't remember where it all comes from. (Plus I have a problem remembering the sources of material, but not the shit itself. Supposedly it's a literal disorder with a name.)

It does seem as if the Deep State / local lodge of Free Globalist Elites / Reptilian Shapeshifters / bureaucratic fuckups / wtf are desperately trying to convince people that "it's just the flu u guize!" as increasing numbers of people drop dead. Fuck, they did the same fucking shit in 1918, even fucking ORDERED large public gatherings to proceed to show there was nothing to fear, with the result that bodies rotted in the streets for months. The good thing today is that we have the internet to give us ready access to vidya of dying people in Wuhan screaming in agony as they slowly rot in high rises with the doors welded shut and sometimes jump from the windows in desperation only to have their corpses torched on the spot. (And then there's Iran, which is a whole other universe of autism. Murika spent billions of dollars and dozens of lives to dislodge the mullahs without success, and they're done in by a plague coupled with their own belief in 7th century religious ideas. Too fucking lulzy.)

And then there's San Francisco:
>zillions of liberals smashed like sardines four to a room into an already densely built city
>liberals elect a bitch nigger from the projects from a family of petty crooks as mayor to prove their wokeness
>said bitch nigger does absolutely nothing about problems like people shitting in the streets and leaving needles everywhere
>a fucking plague comes along and that bitch nigger simply blathers woke horseshit in response

and :optimistic::

>all the woke liberal techies die of the plague, rents come back down, and normal people repopulate the city and the replacement mayor is a Trump Republican.

We can always hope.
Edit: remove OT sperging, sorry u guize...
 
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So lil Kim is threatening to shoot Chinese people who come to close to Bestest Korea. Oh there are oh so many amusing ways this can go down. Not the least of which would be Xi stampeding a herd of Uighur at NK to let Kim do his dirty work for him. While Kim's state of panic and desire to not get infected is understandable, where and who does he think his food comes from? I mean other than the feeble hope that Trump decides to crank call every Domino's in the world to deliver to Kim's address?
This is bluster but also Xi won’t care if a few Chinese are blasted to bits.
 
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