Horrorcow Lucas Werner - A man of Spokane, Washington who is obsessed with millennial and Gen Z chicks

[pr3nt177]

"Messing with me is like messing with a noble."

Okay.

I think the best part is when he goes from "I'll put preparation H on your toothbrush if you mess with me or my family!" to "My dad will literally shoot you and he's allowed to because he's a mailman" in the same breath.

I have to say, the upside of him not posting new content is it's given me a chance to go through his old content and it's fucking hilarious.
The fact that he's wearing a Snuggie in this one is just icing on the cake.

I only lasted a few minutes, the mix of "Dallas" and "The Godfather" was a little too much for me.

 

[Wernology]

I only lasted a few minutes, the mix of "Dallas" and "The Godfather" was a little too much for me.

Well, you missed the grand finale of listening to him get increasingly more desperate for anyone to agree to have dinner ANYWHERE with him, drifting into how lamb he ate once tasted like trout, which then drifts into how he used to leave cases of soda and chips out for the homeless like he was feeding squirrels or something, which leads somehow to "you wouldn't hate on me for wanting to date black girls" so don't hate in him for wanting jailbait, and you missed this gem: "I've already dated your age group, it's time for me to move on to what everybody likes."

You've also missed the whole bit where he talks about what a great cook he is (I'm sure we're all just too unrefined or bourgeoisie to GET his cheesy cucumbers and canned vegetables in ranch with cheese or his popcorn pasta) because he watches cooking shows and knows how to slice onions in "little circles", or as everyone else calls it, slicing onions.

 

[pr3nt177]

Well, you missed the grand finale of listening to him get increasingly more desperate for anyone to agree to have dinner ANYWHERE with him, drifting into how lamb he ate once tasted like trout, which then drifts into how he used to leave cases of soda and chips out for the homeless like he was feeding squirrels or something, which leads somehow to "you wouldn't hate on me for wanting to date black girls" so don't hate in him for wanting jailbait, and you missed this gem: "I've already dated your age group, it's time for me to move on to what everybody likes."

You've also missed the whole bit where he talks about what a great cook he is (I'm sure we're all just too unrefined or bourgeoisie to GET his cheesy cucumbers and canned vegetables in ranch with cheese or his popcorn pasta) because he watches cooking shows and knows how to slice onions in "little circles", or as everyone else calls it, slicing onions.

I'm totally gutted now.

 

[AbraCadaver]

Well, you missed the grand finale of listening to him get increasingly more desperate for anyone to agree to have dinner ANYWHERE with him, drifting into how lamb he ate once tasted like trout, which then drifts into how he used to leave cases of soda and chips out for the homeless like he was feeding squirrels or something, which leads somehow to "you wouldn't hate on me for wanting to date black girls" so don't hate in him for wanting jailbait, and you missed this gem: "I've already dated your age group, it's time for me to move on to what everybody likes."

You've also missed the whole bit where he talks about what a great cook he is (I'm sure we're all just too unrefined or bourgeoisie to GET his cheesy cucumbers and canned vegetables in ranch with cheese or his popcorn pasta) because he watches cooking shows and knows how to slice onions in "little circles", or as everyone else calls it, slicing onions.

My onions come pre-perforated into little circles on the inside. Get on my classist bougey level, Lucas.

 

[WonderWino]

Well, you missed the grand finale of listening to him get increasingly more desperate for anyone to agree to have dinner ANYWHERE with him, drifting into how lamb he ate once tasted like trout, which then drifts into how he used to leave cases of soda and chips out for the homeless like he was feeding squirrels or something, which leads somehow to "you wouldn't hate on me for wanting to date black girls" so don't hate in him for wanting jailbait, and you missed this gem: "I've already dated your age group, it's time for me to move on to what everybody likes."

You've also missed the whole bit where he talks about what a great cook he is (I'm sure we're all just too unrefined or bourgeoisie to GET his cheesy cucumbers and canned vegetables in ranch with cheese or his popcorn pasta) because he watches cooking shows and knows how to slice onions in "little circles", or as everyone else calls it, slicing onions.

It really shows how fried his brain has to be for any of that to actually make sense in his mind

Also, that stuff about lamb tasting like fish sounds like a red flag for neurological problems affecting his sense of taste

....and we can all be thankful that he didn't make 'cheesy little circles of onions' to go with his cheesy cukes. Though it definitely sounds like something he would do......I can see it now - microwaved onion slices covered in melted cheese, ranch and bbq sauce and served with canned gravy full of peas for dipping....a true lucas original

 

[TelemeresDaddy69]

It really shows how fried his brain has to be for any of that to actually make sense in his mind

Also, that stuff about lamb tasting like fish sounds like a red flag for neurological problems affecting his sense of taste

....and we can all be thankful that he didn't make 'cheesy little circles of onions' to go with his cheesy cukes. Though it definitely sounds like something he would do......I can see it now - microwaved onion slices covered in melted cheese, ranch and bbq sauce and served with canned gravy full of peas for dipping....a true lucas original

And yet he constantly calls other people stupid or r(etarded) yet he constantly does things like this, and fails at everything he tries in life. I almost feel sorry for the creep, knowing how fried his brain is, but he has had multiple chances to mitigate the effects of his mental disabilities/illnesses.

 

[BIG CATS]

Just a few months ago Lucas felt pretty resilient.



“In psychology, grit is a positive, non-cognitive trait based on an individual's perseverance of effort combined with the passion for a particular long-term goal or end state (a powerful motivation to achieve an objective).”

 

[Wernology]

Just a few months ago Lucas felt pretty resilient.

View attachment 1208037

“In psychology, grit is a positive, non-cognitive trait based on an individual's perseverance of effort combined with the passion for a particular long-term goal or end state (a powerful motivation to achieve an objective).”

Regardless of which definition of grit he's using, he's got as much of it as worn out sandpaper.

Here, enjoy Classic Wern flexing is $50-ish dollars while ranting about people who are bigoted against him.
I love the, "He got a no contact order on me before I could get a no contact order on HIM you guys!" part and later on when he lays a plastic safety scissors version of a knife across his cash hoard.

 

[TelemeresDaddy69]

Just a few months ago Lucas felt pretty resilient.

View attachment 1208037

“In psychology, grit is a positive, non-cognitive trait based on an individual's perseverance of effort combined with the passion for a particular long-term goal or end state (a powerful motivation to achieve an objective).”

Idk why Lucas thinks making all of his photos look like a TCAP mugshot is going to benefit his incel quest for a sex slave

Regardless of which definition of grit he's using, he's got as much of it as worn out sandpaper.

Here, enjoy Classic Wern flexing is $50-ish dollars while ranting about people who are bigoted against him.
I love the, "He got a no contact order on me before I could get a no contact order on HIM you guys!" part and later on when he lays a plastic safety scissors version of a knife across his cash hoard.

Did anyone ever message Dan asking about Lucas? I suspect he would have some interesting words to say about Lucas, given he called him out as a predator long before he started creeping in Spokane.

It's funny because if he ever managed to get rid of the mrsa, he sure as hell would be catching that shit again being homeless now

 

[King Daddy Telomerase]

Lucas' bragging about having $50 and a SNAP card is intriguing and confusing. By SSI or welfare standards, he's dirt poor and it's obviously nothing to brag about. Why does he do this? Is he trying to be a comedian?

 

[Wernology]

Did anyone ever message Dan asking about Lucas? I suspect he would have some interesting words to say about Lucas, given he called him out as a predator long before he started creeping in Spokane.

It's funny because if he ever managed to get rid of the mrsa, he sure as hell would be catching that shit again being homeless now

A few people emailed the guy about Lucas and he sent out a few similar responses basically saying he's known about Lucas misrepresenting (either intentionally or because he's just too stupid to understand science) for years and was conferring with people at the university to figure out how to best handle it as they didn't want to end up in a PR nightmare of potentially being seen as harassing a mentally ill man.

In the end, after a few videos where Lucas was calling the email screenshots photoshopped and went on a, "If Dan Eisenberg disagreed with me he'd SAY SOMETHING ABOUT IT, YOU LIARS!" tirade in one or two videos, and must have got sent a C&D or something, because Lucas stopped name dropping him save for one or two videos continuing to misunderstand the papers he read and being all, "Well DAN if I'm incorrect why does YOUR PAPER say Misunderstood X, Y, and Z? DAN? HUH DAN?" before dropping it entirely.

I got a response from Dr. Eisenberg around Dec. 1 2019 about it, and there are some videos around 12/25 of him yelling about, "Well if it's WRONG why is it STILL ON THE INTERNET???" which happened sometime after he was told, one way or another, to shut the fuck up and stop name dropping Dan Eisenberg.

There was one video where he had Dan's first name in the title but that may have been removed as it was told to take it down or face legal consequences.

This video is the closest he gets where he said Dan Eisenberg and Chris...someone or other, one of the other researchers, contacted him and told him he couldn't put copy-pastes of their free to the public research behind his Patreon's paywall and make money off of their research and it's mostly him whining about how that's not fair and that if they were contacting him it must mean they'll think he's going to hit 30k subs. And, that he stopped talking about telomeres "out of respect" for them; it reads like he was basically given a script outline of what he was supposed to say.
He also admits, whether told to or because he's a moron, that their research, at no point, links older men to younger women and that he did that on his own because it's what he believes and is "the reason" he likes younger women.

Here's one where he pretends he's "forgotten" the researchers' names:

This one is the one from 12/25 where he's got the childish mindset of "If it weren't true, it wouldn't be on the internet" because we all know people aren't allowed to lie on the internet and research never gets updated or amended if new information is discovered.

 

[TelemeresDaddy69]

A few people emailed the guy about Lucas and he sent out a few similar responses basically saying he's known about Lucas misrepresenting (either intentionally or because he's just too stupid to understand science) for years and was conferring with people at the university to figure out how to best handle it as they didn't want to end up in a PR nightmare of potentially being seen as harassing a mentally ill man.

In the end, after a few videos where Lucas was calling the email screenshots photoshopped and went on a, "If Dan Eisenberg disagreed with me he'd SAY SOMETHING ABOUT IT, YOU LIARS!" tirade in one or two videos, and must have got sent a C&D or something, because Lucas stopped name dropping him save for one or two videos continuing to misunderstand the papers he read and being all, "Well DAN if I'm incorrect why does YOUR PAPER say Misunderstood X, Y, and Z? DAN? HUH DAN?" before dropping it entirely.

I got a response from Dr. Eisenberg around Dec. 1 2019 about it, and there are some videos around 12/25 of him yelling about, "Well if it's WRONG why is it STILL ON THE INTERNET???" which happened sometime after he was told, one way or another, to shut the fuck up and stop name dropping Dan Eisenberg.

There was one video where he had Dan's first name in the title but that may have been removed as it was told to take it down or face legal consequences.

This video is the closest he gets where he said Dan Eisenberg and Chris...someone or other, one of the other researchers, contacted him and told him he couldn't put copy-pastes of their free to the public research behind his Patreon's paywall and make money off of their research and it's mostly him whining about how that's not fair and that if they were contacting him it must mean they'll think he's going to hit 30k subs. And, that he stopped talking about telomeres "out of respect" for them; it reads like he was basically given a script outline of what he was supposed to say.
He also admits, whether told to or because he's a moron, that their research, at no point, links older men to younger women and that he did that on his own because it's what he believes and is "the reason" he likes younger women.

Here's one where he pretends he's "forgotten" the researchers' names:

This one is the one from 12/25 where he's got the childish mindset of "If it weren't true, it wouldn't be on the internet" because we all know people aren't allowed to lie on the internet and research never gets updated or amended if new information is discovered.

I meant Dan Campbell, the guy from Olympia who got the no contact order against Lucas, and was in the video confronting him and calling him a pedophile

 

[wenttobermuda]

Even if Lucas never posts again, he has left Wernologists a robust body of work to puzzle over.

I'm currently exploring the interlude between his two most recent psych confinements, and the content he produced while presumably medicated. Fattest Wern, or Pill Wern, is the stablest Wern. Still gross and crazy, but not vein popping aggro.

 

[BIG CATS]

Myrna’s been posting about having skin cancer on Facebook. She mentions being on “week 4” of treatment, isn’t that the same length of time Lucas has been out on the street?





Does this impact Lucas? Does he know/care?

 

[WonderWino]

Myrna’s been posting about having skin cancer on Facebook. She mentions being on “week 4” of treatment, isn’t that the same length of time Lucas has been out on the street?

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Does this impact Lucas? Does he know/care?

No idea if he knows, probably not if he hasn't been online for awhile and being distracted by the events that got him thrown out on the street, but if he is he does probably gloating and happy about it. He's the type that would see it as punishment for having him committed, not giving him what he wants and not letting him live with her without having to be medicated. Plus he would likely be thinking 'one down one to go' in the hopes of getting his often talked about land inheritance and becoming rich

That said, holy shit that picture is horrifying, They really should put something like that on posters as a medical ad for the importance of sun screen

 

[Twrx]

I know this is buried somewhere, but I can't find it. But what did he do to bring on the domestic violence arrest and throwing the glass?

 

[Club Sandwich]

I know this is buried somewhere, but I can't find it. But what did he do to bring on the domestic violence arrest and throwing the glass?

supposedly was triggered by too much sugar or something and had a fit - alternately he saw a father and daughter having a catchup dinner and was triggered over that or something.

 

[mothman96]

I know this is buried somewhere, but I can't find it. But what did he do to bring on the domestic violence arrest and throwing the glass?

Lucas and the only girlfriend he's ever had Suzanne (49 at the time) were at a restaurant and he saw a man with 2 young teen girls seated at another table. Lucas lost it because he didn't have a young teen girl for himself and threw a glass at the wall. When he and Suzanne got back to her house (Lucas lived with her) , she kicked him out and he went psycho on her, the police were called and he ended up in jail for DV.

ETA:
If I'm remembering right, when he got out of jail, Suzanne had to get a restraining order against him.

 

[WonderWino]

Lucas and the only girlfriend he's ever had Suzanne (49 at the time) were at a restaurant and he saw a man with 2 young teen girls seated at another table. Lucas lost it because he didn't have a young teen girl for himself and threw a glass at the wall. When he and Suzanne got back to her house (Lucas lived with her) , she kicked him out and he went psycho on her, the police were called and he ended up in jail for DV.

ETA:
If I'm remembering right, when he got out of jail, Suzanne had to get a restraining order against him.

Indeed she did, which he violated several times by stalking her at work

Just picture suzanne as homer and lucas as norm:

 

[LightEmittingDiode]

Lucas and the only girlfriend he's ever had Suzanne (49 at the time) were at a restaurant and he saw a man with 2 young teen girls seated at another table. Lucas lost it because he didn't have a young teen girl for himself and threw a glass at the wall. When he and Suzanne got back to her house (Lucas lived with her) , she kicked him out and he went psycho on her, the police were called and he ended up in jail for DV.

ETA:
If I'm remembering right, when he got out of jail, Suzanne had to get a restraining order against him.

Lucas likes to claim this was why he got upset.
He threw a glass against the wall because Suzanne was trying to break up with him, and he refused to accept that. He also uses the excuse that he “had a lot of caffeine” that day. Because he was trying to impress people about the injustice of not giving Lucas a preteen sex doll, he pretends that he became enraged by a greybeard “stealing his research” and dating a much younger woman within close range of him.
ETA the progression of his mental gymnastics towards the event: