Chris-Chan: A Comprehensive History

Jeff_the_Thriller said:
It's kind of fucked that Chris still has this vendetta against Snyder, after he didn't want to press criminal charges twice. He weirdly forgave a lot of the trolls even hslaw eel yram but still holds a grudge against the guy who made sure he didn't go to jail. I guess Micheal kept him from getting nazi nerd pussy after he banned him from the store.
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Remember, Chris is convinced that Michael somehow orchestrated all of the online trolling he experienced, and therefor blames him for everything wrong with his life.
 
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sadbird said:
I'm happy I'm finally caught up. I never paid a whole lot of attention to what was going on with Chris, even during the peak years. I wasn't even aware he supposedly lost his virginity, though it didn't really change anything.

I love how at this point he just goes on a paranoid rampage with about every person out to get him, and I'm willing to bet that lady in mcdonalds was probably yelling at him because his sharts stink up the building.
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Paying someone for sex does not count, the whole point is to have someone actually want you and not your money.
 
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Tikbalang said:
In the end, experience with Mia Hamm becomes his only source on simulating sex with magichan and crizel.
I think at that time, the hooker played All Star while having a session with Chris
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"Somebody once told me the world was gonna fuck me
I ain't the tighest vag in the motel
He was looking of kind of dumb with his sonichu medallion
and the sweat dripping off his forehead"
 
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Tikbalang said:
In the end, experience with Mia Hamm becomes his only source on simulating sex with magichan and crizel.
I think at that time, the hooker played All Star while having a session with Chris
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I think he gets his ideas from porn. All his "demonstrations" with the blowup dolls pre trooning have him switching positions every 5 minutes like they do in pornos, and all these goofy made up position names. "Missionary cowgirl" lol. I could be wrong because it's been a long time but I don't think "All Star" was on the air yet when he hired the hooker... was it?
 
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Super Colon Blow said:
I think he gets his ideas from porn. All his "demonstrations" with the blowup dolls pre trooning have him switching positions every 5 minutes like they do in pornos, and all these goofy made up position names. "Missionary cowgirl" lol. I could be wrong because it's been a long time but I don't think "All Star" was on the air yet when he hired the hooker... was it?
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All Star was released as a single in 1999, and Chris hired Mia in 2012.
 
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Second Missing Primarch said:
All Star was released as a single in 1999, and Chris hired Mia in 2012.
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I hated that fucking song the first time i heard it. A guy I worked with tried to meme with it before memes existed, telling everyone they "were all about value." He wore it out within hours, but being fucking clueless kept it up for weeks.

It becoming OPL's unofficial theme song is just that much more irritating for me.



*edit* fine, if you want to be a sperg, "before memes as we use the term today existed". Memes in the general sense have existed as long as humanity has had a spoken/written language to pass information on with.
 
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The Un-Clit said:
I hated that fucking song the first time i heard it. A guy I worked with tried to meme with it before memes existed, telling everyone they "were all about value." He wore it out within hours, but being fucking clueless kept it up for weeks.

It becoming OPL's unofficial theme song is just that much more irritating for me.
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Internet memes have existed since June 1993, and memes in general since 1976
 
Mr Roboto said:
"Somebody once told me the world was gonna fuck me
I ain't the tighest vag in the motel
He was looking of kind of dumb with his sonichu medallion
and the sweat dripping off his forehead"
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Well he keeps get touching and I said stop touching
Just a few handjob and he's already cumming
Didn't make sense why his dick look numb
He acts like a kid, no wonder he's dumb

Not much to do, not much to see
Should I kick him out on the back street?
You wanna keep talking just go
You don't have a cash? So just go
 
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anti SJW said:
Also, did'nt Chris want to hire Mia again and she did'nt do it?
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He apparently did visit her a second time, though he didn't brag about it in excruciating detail on social media, so we don't know what happened. She appears to have either quit hooking or moved on shortly thereafter.
 
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Super Colon Blow said:
I think he gets his ideas from porn. All his "demonstrations" with the blowup dolls pre trooning have him switching positions every 5 minutes like they do in pornos, and all these goofy made up position names. "Missionary cowgirl" lol. I could be wrong because it's been a long time but I don't think "All Star" was on the air yet when he hired the hooker... was it?
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If there's any doubt about Chris gaining all his "knowledge" about sex from porn, just look back to the ShecameforCWC emails with Megan. He genuinely considers all porn educational, and while it can be to some extent, Chris has a habit of taking things that are meant to be interpreted with a grain of salt and sticking to them like scripture.
 
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Hogar Grupal said:
All of his facebook posts are depressing. Can you imagine if Chris isn't the way he is now (IG influence), what would happen? I guess it's a good thing his delusions are keeping him somewhat in check.
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Maybe depressed self-loathing Chris would have a better chance of realizing how screwed up his life and situation were and start making efforts to improve himself instead of retreating to make-believe land whenever life got stressful? At the very least he wouldn't be out six thousand dollars to save his imaginary city from a laser moon cannon.
 
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Strange Wilderness said:
Maybe depressed self-loathing Chris would have a better chance of realizing how screwed up his life and situation were and start making efforts to improve himself instead of retreating to make-believe land whenever life got stressful? At the very least he wouldn't be out six thousand dollars to save his imaginary city from a laser moon cannon.
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Given the way Chris' life has turned out, there was no way he could improve himself, if given the chance (he's had many opportunities). We are all aware Chris doesn't like change, and the only substantial change was him growing his hair out and putting on female clothes on was because he thought women had it easy. I don't want to sound like an a-log, but all of that self-loathing could have led to suicide if Chris hadn't played make believe with the idea guys. As for that 6K (I assume it was from Bob's inheritance, cause there's no way in hell Chris could have saved it.), he would have spent on more plastic junk.
 
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