Horrorcow Lucas Werner - A man of Spokane, Washington who is obsessed with millennial and Gen Z chicks

[GenericReviewerDraco]

God. Someone just kill him already. I give it three months.

ETA he will mess with the wrong zoomer, guns in pocketbooks,

That post reminds me of this video.

 

[Duke Nukem]

Oh my allah are his latest videos taken from an actual tent?

Your statement implies that setting up a tent isn't too much work for our resident hobo.

Hahaha. At 42 seconds in someone told him to "shut the fuck up faggot". I am betting it was the dreaded flat bill holding hands with three girls as they make their way into the park for an orgy in the sun.

It would be funnier if the guy knew who Lucas was, like, about his internet fame or whatever. Kinda rude to interrupt a guy filming but it is Lucas though.

Didn't he admit he was a one pump chump with Suzanne or whoever he pretends he lost his virginity to?

With a hot zoomer girl, I don't think he'd last long enough to get his 2 incher in.

Honestly, with the way Lucas has been (and honestly still is) I doubt he's even managed to get a first date, let alone any sex at all. Plus he did post his penis and it definitely doesn't look like a girl, zoomer or not, would even feel anything.

So.... I subscribe to Ancestry. I got those two pictures and more from a simple five minute search including former addresses and a phone number (I assume an old one).

Not that he was much of a prize to begin with, but the years have not been kind to him. I wonder if any of his old classmates are aware of his whereabouts or shenanigans now?

 

[BowlOfDick]

Lucas is creating another board game in between screaming at his phone and loading up his hobo sack. His current board games have sold very poorly with only Meeple Toss having had anyone outside of Lucas buying it. I remember when he was making "Dance of the Telomeres". About the government in arranging dances for 40 year old men to meet 18 year old girls. Maybe this is his next game?

Keep giving money to Game Crafter to make these abominations....

My favourites have been the Mikayla saga, which was a board game series that followed the life of a high school student and her quest to find a old man as a husband.

Then one day he was like ‘I’m making a game where Mikayla is skinned alive’ or something along those lines. Obviously this girl was a manifestation of his fetish, so the weird violent streak towards her was very telling.

Anyone remember where he suggested “someone needs to make a board game where the aim is to kill Scooby Doo.”? That’s honestly the randomest, funniest thing he’s ever said in my opinion.

 

[Wernology]

The two from this morning.

Tinder matches & the board game ramble.

 

[Botchy Galoop]

Lucas will probably incriminate himself soon to threaten his SSI. He's now saying he has $2000 saved up along with bragging about his "rich" daddy leaving him a half mil or whatever. One slip up with the many people that hate Lucas and would narc him, he really needs to shut up about money.

You are correct. As the year-end approaches, clients who are found to have too much money in their payee accounts, are forced into what is called a "spend-down." Higher priced things like burial plans, expensive winter coats/clothing, basically any high ticket item, is the most common way to bring the account balance down.

It seems that Lucas has not had an adjustment of his monthly allowance since he became homeless, and has been able to rat-hole away cash while living on the street. The protective payee is probably just happy to keep the giving Lucas his monthly allowance so the money is not appearing to accumulate in his account. As long as the money is not lingering in his account, the payee is probably happy to look the other way.

I am curious if Lucas is on the list for section 8 housing, or if he has basically been black-balled from even living in one of the downtown section 8 flophouses.

ETA: About Lucas receiving an inheritance...if that were even a thing, the money would be put in a conservatorship. He would lose all benefits and he would still basically have a protective payee. 500k would quickly be whittled away by conservators, medical insurance costs, housing, etc. Give it about 4 years and he'd be back on the dole. Lucas will never escape the hamster wheel.

 

[BowlOfDick]

Are we even sure the payee knows Lucas is homeless?

 

[teleméres69]

More Instagram videos of Lucas seething with incel rage towards women today, not much else. Lucas is a creature of habit after all. We all knew in less than a year he'd be back to the telomere pseudoscience

The two from this morning.

Tinder matches & the board game ramble.

Hard not to when he documents his entire manchild life. Also given his notoriety I'd imagine they've at least heard he's been sighted around HoC. Though they likely just don't care anymore, like anyone who has to deal with Lucas long term

Are we even sure the payee knows Lucas is homeless?

 

[Fatal Walter]

5 months ago Lucas told "Chris Hansen" that slut shaming isn't a good color.

 

[Wernology]

 

[AbraCadaver]

Here is a companion piece for Wernologists who are interested in a deep dive into Lucas's miserable HS experience. You may not have had the opportunity to call him gay and give him a wedgy in 1995, but his awkwardness has been preserved for our study. It pairs well with his HS photos, which I hope you've all had occasion to blackly snicker at.

First, I suggest listening to his original composition "Teenage Bondage," a presumably autobiographical account of teenage alienation.

In The Court Of The Telomere King, by Lucas Werner

9 track album

telomereking.bandcamp.com

The following quotes illustrate his memories of HS:



Note that despite a reported focus on good grades, Lucas did not graduate.



Lucas has always been socially inept and lonely. He confesses to being obsessively focused on talking to girls, yet terrified of it; and on the occasions he did speak to girls, he did not come off well.

This is the kind of maximum sped I and my friends tried to avoid in school. God help us if one decided he wanted to chat us up.

 

[Brian Butterfield]

You could turn the reasons Lucas believes his Tinder matches are real into proof that they aren't: a lot of women use Tinder to hawk their socials, there're bots for any conceivable metropolitan area, and they matched with a man who hashtags #analgaping regularly.

 

[WonderWino]

While I was scrolling through the last few replies this one showed up that highlighted lucas's creepy schitzo as fuck eyes

Which somehow makes them look even creepier and makes him look even worse

They also immediately reminded me of this

Which is exactly how I expect lucas to look at 4am hiding in the bushes trying to creepily stare at joggers out for a late night run

and holy shit that thing he did with his mouth in the latest video. Its no wonder nobody wants to go anywhere near him

 

[wenttobermuda]

To state the obvious bluntly: any Tinder match Lucas has is a catfish.

Lucas will continue to be catfished.

This is a dude who changed his Zipcode over a catfish. This is how he chats with them:

Spoiler: Ice cream

As Lucas grows slightly more cautious from being burned repeatedly, catfish have had to adapt their techniques. But only slightly.

Lucas may insist on "video chats" and other sped security measures; but he's also a credulous fool desperate to believe a Zoomer bae wants him, and he's unprotected by any self awareness.

Lucas is no longer vulnerable to 13 year old boys, but he remains highly at risk nonetheless.

 

[WonderWino]

To state the obvious bluntly: any Tinder match Lucas has is a catfish.

Lucas will continue to be catfished.

This is a dude who changed his Zipcode over a catfish. This is how he chats with them:

Spoiler: Ice cream

View attachment 1325111

As Lucas grows slightly more cautious from being burned repeatedly, catfish have had to adapt their techniques. But only slightly.

Lucas may insist on "video chats" and other sped security measures; but he's also a credulous fool desperate to believe a Zoomer bae wants him, and he's unprotected by any self awareness.

Lucas is no longer vulnerable to 13 year old boys, but he remains highly at risk nonetheless.

......and he wonders why he keeps getting blocked by women and banned from dating sites

 

[Trainwreck]

and holy shit that thing he did with his mouth in the latest video. Its no wonder nobody wants to go anywhere near him

Like a rabid, deranged, psychotic squirrel.

 

[wenttobermuda]

Like a rabid, deranged, psychotic squirrel.

Apt description.

The people I've seen do that before were: 1) meth heads on a sick one, 2) people with dentures, 3) schizophrenics, or 4) some combination of 1-3.

 

[Poop Shoot]

It makes for a good avatar though.

 

[teleméres69]

What even was that supposed to be? Looked like he was gonna scream at the nearest jogger unfortunate enough to cross his path. Can we definitively tell he has dentures now?

Apt description.

The people I've seen do that before were: 1) meth heads on a sick one, 2) people with dentures, 3) schizophrenics, or 4) some combination of 1-3.

 

[Da Dude123]

"Gen Z girls, socialism is your entire world."

He is so damn stupid. A majority 18-24 year old women probably care little about politics or voting. He is so simple minded and can't get past his preconceived notions of a group of people. I am hopeful but not optimistic that these Tinder catfish will get some good cow antics out of Lucas.

Also, Lucas is trading weed for shoes by people on the street! Come on, Gen Z ladies! Check out those new kicks! At least Lucas is not wearing pajama pants...

 

[Particle Bored]

"Gen Z girls, socialism is your entire world."

He is so damn stupid. A majority 18-24 year old women probably care little about politics or voting. He is so simple minded and can't get past his preconceived notions of a group of people. I am hopeful but not optimistic that these Tinder catfish will get some good cow antics out of Lucas.

Also, Lucas is trading weed for shoes by people on the street! Come on, Gen Z ladies! Check out those new kicks! At least Lucas is not wearing pajama pants...

"I traded these relatively-new-looking sneakers for a $5 joint."

Bang up job encouraging that derelict to steal another poor sap's shoes. Maybe next he'll sell you a brand new iPhone for the low cost of two joints. Probably because he supports socialism.