Diseased Neo-Pagans / Witches on the Internet / Witchblr - SMT IRL, but with fatties

[Daughter of Cernunnos]

What a narcissist to think you're special bc you have loved ones that passed away. That is a UNIVERSAL human experience.

None of that is mathmatical lmao. It's just autistically pedantic.

Why does he have Satan in his name and tags but refers to the Gods? As if they're his personal army no less. Mixing neopaganism and Satanism is really lame.

If you entire person can be described in trendy tumblr esthetics you are shallow and probably have BPD induced identity issues. People with BPD have an unstable sense of personal identity.

Her dad has very kinky hair. Her's looks more like white curls due to her mum's straight hair and dad's kinky hair. I think she definitely has black in her but she's a quadroon or octoroon at the most. She "passes for white" because that's the majority of her ancestry.

 

[1-800]

Given all the menstrual stuff probably.

Spoiler: WITCH WARS

On the eve of the war, Anon asks if witcract is as LGBT+ exclusionary as other religions. The answer may surprise you:
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How do you think "Trans woman don't count as women in traditional witchcraft" went on Tumblr?

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Primrose again (Same person from the nonsense drama on page 1)
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Actually Trans People had stronger magic check your history:
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And many more! Just check out that #witchblr discourse tag to check out the fighting before its over!

The reason for this? Venus.
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@BIG DADDY A different person, but you called it. Primrose (From several posts back in this thread) has been accused of pulling a Dozel.

Spoiler: Harry Potter and the Half-Black Princess

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What do you think their farm's accounts are?
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The post is from September 2019, so the drama is over by now.
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Unfortunately I couldn't find any "Judge for yourself" picks. Someone with more willpower can scrub her websites, she looks like she could be a thread all on her own.
I unboomered my twitter knowledge and found some selfies. 50% black Primrose, everyone!
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With parents:
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Shut up, you're a white girl that will never face race-based oppression in your life.

 

[Dread First]

These fake witch thots make me laugh so fucking hard. If magic is actually real, then why the fuck does it all consist of shitty, inoffensive platitudes and bullshit about the cycles of the moon? Why are we mixing together several different pagan concepts of witchcraft and spirituality? Are we doing European paganism or are we paying tribute to Ishtar, Semitic pagan god of fertility? Are we reinforcing traditional Hindu concepts of meditation and self-discipline or are we gonna hornypost on Snapchat or Instagram with some faux astrological background behind it?

These thots will lecture you about cultural appropriation and then combine 5,000 different pagan rituals into an incoherent mess that makes them look terminally exceptional.

 

[NoReturn]

These fake witch thots make me laugh so fucking hard. If magic is actually real, then why the fuck does it all consist of shitty, inoffensive platitudes and bullshit about the cycles of the moon? Why are we mixing together several different pagan concepts of witchcraft and spirituality? Are we doing European paganism or are we paying tribute to Ishtar, Semitic pagan god of fertility? Are we reinforcing traditional Hindu concepts of meditation and self-discipline or are we gonna hornypost on Snapchat or Instagram with some faux astrological background behind it?

These thots will lecture you about cultural appropriation and then combine 5,000 different pagan rituals into an incoherent mess that makes them look terminally exceptional.

Relevant Humon comic is relevant:

 

[LTO Data Cartridge]

These fake witch thots make me laugh so fucking hard. If magic is actually real, then why the fuck does it all consist of shitty, inoffensive platitudes and bullshit about the cycles of the moon? Why are we mixing together several different pagan concepts of witchcraft and spirituality? Are we doing European paganism or are we paying tribute to Ishtar, Semitic pagan god of fertility? Are we reinforcing traditional Hindu concepts of meditation and self-discipline or are we gonna hornypost on Snapchat or Instagram with some faux astrological background behind it?

These thots will lecture you about cultural appropriation and then combine 5,000 different pagan rituals into an incoherent mess that makes them look terminally exceptional.

It's deeply ironic how, in their search for ancient knowledge and techniques, they've invented a weird syncretic spirituality that's modern to the core. I'm no historian but I imagine a norse Pagan from the 2nd century would scoff at the idea that their gods were just as real and powerful as the ones worshiped by strange foreigners from Asia or Africa.

Relevant Humon comic is relevant:
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I don't know about you guys but, menstrual blood or not, I'd definitely be inclined to like a woman who baked me a cake. Not sure if there's anything magical about that, I just like cake.

 

[NoReturn]

I'm no historian but I imagine a norse Pagan from the 2nd century would scoff at the idea that their gods were just as real and powerful as the ones worshiped by strange foreigners from Asia or Africa.

They would... kinda. There's precedent with the whole Aesir and Vanir thing but to a Norse pagan it would be more "Our creation story is right, and I'm sure your gods were part of it, but you have the facts wrong." kinda like how old versions of the Torah/Old Testament/Tawrat say YHWH was one of many gods, but he was the BEST and COOLEST but it got changed to "There is no God but YHWH and he was pissed about false idols, not other gods."

 

[Dread First]

It's deeply ironic how, in their search for ancient knowledge and techniques, they've invented a weird syncretic spirituality that's modern to the core. I'm no historian but I imagine a norse Pagan from the 2nd century would scoff at the idea that their gods were just as real and powerful as the ones worshiped by strange foreigners from Asia or Africa.

I'd love to introduce one of these witch thots to a Hindu sadhu and see how they'd react to one another. The thing is that a lot of spiritual traditions from Asia stress the importance of self-discipline and celibacy in order to achieve true spiritual enlightenment or an eternal union with God. Co-opting any Asian spiritualism into their "grimoire" basically shows that they dont' give a shit about the context so long as it can tie in with their delusions.

 

[WinchesterPremium]

They would... kinda. There's precedent with the whole Aesir and Vanir thing but to a Norse pagan it would be more "Our creation story is right, and I'm sure your gods were part of it, but you have the facts wrong." kinda like how old versions of the Torah/Old Testament/Tawrat say YHWH was one of many gods, but he was the BEST and COOLEST but it got changed to "There is no God but YHWH and he was pissed about false idols, not other gods."

I remember reading some old Greek myths where Isis just kinda showed up. I think it had something to do with the cultural exchange after Alexander the Great did his thing, its seems at least relatively common for Pagans to pick up gods from other religions and just mutate them to fit their greater belief system.

Christians did basically the same thing, they just demoted the Gods to demons or fairies and move the folklore over. Which come to think of it probably leads to some of the fairy nonsense on Witchblr.

 

[Meowthkip]

I unboomered my twitter knowledge and found some selfies. 50% black Primrose, everyone!

With parents:

After accusing Kayla/Straysheep of faking her race and realizing that she was, in fact, not faking, I'm inclined to believe that this girl is black. She's got the hair of a half-black girl. I can understand the inclination to assume she's lying, since people like her are not above lying and exaggerating for clout, but this might be one of the few things she's being honest about, so of course she's going to be super indignant when people doubt her... which wouldn't have been a problem in the first place if she hadn't established herself as a giant liar. That's the thing with being caught as a liar; every single other claim you've ever made about yourself comes under scrutiny. Don't want people doubting your race? Don't be a goddamn liar.

Also, if you're the kind of person who never leaves your fucking house when you're that light-skinned, you're going to look like a fucking ghost. Especially in that second photo, where it looks like she used a filter to make her skin even paler.

 

[NoReturn]

It's not tumblr but it's close:
Why Queer People Love Witchcraft
From Refinery29, from the URL the original title was "LGBT Witch Trend". (Someone else plz archive it's still not working for me)

Excerpts:

At 7:45 on a Thursday night, I light a candle and settle in for my Zoom meeting with Krysta Venora, aka “Pink Opal Magic” (who uses they/them pronouns). Earlier in the week, I’d signed up for one of Krysta’s spiritual readings. When I log into our video call for the reading, their room is dark green, and a menagerie of candles flickers in the background. The ambience is simultaneously comforting and delightfully spooky. Krysta, a beacon of positive energy despite the screen between us, radiates.

This is Krysta, by the way

Spoiler: They/Them

As they dove deeper into the myriad types of witchcraft practices, Krysta discovered that they could play with the rules of witchcraft, and develop a personalized practice outside of Wicca. “That’s when I really blossomed into a full-on, spell-casting, goddex-worshipping witch,” Krysta says, humbly adding that though they saw truth in the practice, Wicca just wasn’t for them.

A spiritual childhood is prevalent among modern-day witches. Bobbi* (she/her), a cisgender, queer witch in Chicago, tells me that she grew up a pastor’s kid. She spent nearly every summer at “Jesus Camp,” and every Sunday participating in the ritual of communion. For a while, she loved it. “I was one of those people at the front of the church, hands up at the altar in supplication, singing along with those guitar-toting ‘Jesus rockers,’” Bobbi says. “Holiness, after all, is ‘otherness’... and what's more relatable to a teenage girl than a desperate need to connect to something special?”
Mat Auryn (he/him), a Bay Area queer and cisgendered male witch, grew up attending a church that was a mixture of Pentecoastal and Evangelical Christianity. (For those unfamiliar, these are typically regarded as some of the more “extreme” forms of Christianity.)

This is Mat

Spoiler: He/Him

Bobbi describes herself as a “kitchen witch.”
“Ask anyone who's had my Breakup Recovery Brownies or a slice of my Heartwarming Apple Pie,” she says. “Taste and smell are so strongly tied to memory, it makes sense that using them in my craft leads to easier manifestation.” Most queer witches acknowledge that witchcraft is highly customizable, allowing each witch to build and change their specific practices depending on where they’re at in their lives.

 

[Meowthkip]

I think I've mentioned this once or twice on the Farms before, but like five years ago or so I went to a queer art show with a friend of mine, and for the most part, it was a pretty enjoyable experience. I genuinely had fun.

There was a dude there who was doing Tarot card readings, and on a lark, I decided to get one done, never done it before, might be fun. I can't say his readings were particularly accurate, but, you know, it's fortune telling. What're ya gonna do.

Later in the evening, the attendants gathered around to one side of the studio to watch some performance art, and the guy who did Tarot readings did a performance where he cast a spell on his ex-boyfriend or... something. Honestly, it was the strangest performance of the night, and one performance was a bio queen who did the world's most deadpan burlesque where she took a tampon out of her panties, took a boiled egg, stuck it between her legs, and then proceeded to eat it, which caused the entire audience to lose their collective shit. Talked to her after the show, turns out she's a real sweetheart and she used ketchup for her bit. Love that bitch.

Even with all that, the spell-casting was by far the most awkward because the response was polite applause, the most lukewarm reception to all of that night's performances, and I think a large part of that was that nobody had any idea if this dude was for real, or why he was bringing his ex into this, and he was just really mumbly and we couldn't hear half the shit he was chanting. I remember him sitting on the floor over a cauldron with lots of smoke, while his body gyrated and he held out his hands and wiggled around his fingers.

Meanwhile my mind was just like:

 

[Fag Goat]

What do you think transtrenders do to feminists?

Mmmmmm you gave me an idea for a dig, and behold, I found gems.

Spoiler: We welcome everyone... but you

Spoiler: We must become more politically correct, get out!

Spoiler: Well... Could you at least stay off the front pages?

Spoiler: Reeee! Get off my dash!!!

Spoiler: The solution to these phobes!

Haha, but... While digging I did find one last piece that is the cherry on top of this theme of posts...

Spoiler: She makes a good point here

That's all for now, folks.

 

[DatBepisTho]

This has that weird "help bob take over the world" emoticon vibe on the surface,-just before you fall down the rabbit hole, that is.
Also, I thought it was sheer ironic shitposting when I first noticed it cropping up in some of the spooky heathen friend circles. I wonder what sort of golden lolcow started this.

Has anyone introduced a pagan coworker or new age acquaintance to this community of witches? I kind of feel like there's a whole load of potential in asking a "legit" pagan how they feel about the spells.

Spoiler: Cwitch cWeer Coven

I wrote a spell only Kiwis can charge and cast to fund the kiwilawyers.
Like to charge *♡~uwu* Reblog to cast

Edit-words

 

[Meowthkip]

Literally the only difference between these bitches and radical feminists is their opinion on trans women and that is it. Everything else is exactly the same; same level of man-hating, same level of batshit insane, same level of self-righteous victimhood, and these hos are surprised that there happen to be TERFs who are also casting spells and shit.

Like, no shit, dumb-dumbs. They're just a spicier flavor of the same brand of crazy chips.

 

[NoReturn]

Mmmmmm you gave me an idea for a dig, and behold, I found gems.

Spoiler: We welcome everyone... but you

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Spoiler: We must become more politically correct, get out!

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Spoiler: Well... Could you at least stay off the front pages?

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Spoiler: Reeee! Get off my dash!!!

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Spoiler: The solution to these phobes!

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Haha, but... While digging I did find one last piece that is the cherry on top of this theme of posts...

Spoiler: She makes a good point here

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That's all for now, folks.

I saw a radfdm post once that said "Mentally replace 'TERF' with 'women' and see how things read." and now I do that all the time. Makes things like this even more amazing.

 

[Skeleton-Bread]

My favorite thing is when they practice basic self-care and/or hygiene then claim it was some spell that made them feel better. There's a good amount of spells focused on bathing that range from glamour to protection.

Spoiler: Lush Bath Bombs

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Spoiler: Self-Love Bath

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Spoiler: Spirit Cleansing

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[Fag Goat]

My favorite thing is when they practice basic self-care and/or hygiene then claim it was some spell that made them feel better. There's a good amount of spells focused on bathing that range from glamour to protection.

Spoiler: Lush Bath Bombs

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Spoiler: Self-Love Bath

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Spoiler: Spirit Cleansing

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... I can't believe it.

I was a witch this WHOLE TIME.

I knew my bathing habit was completely unique to me and in no way a normal part of maintaining basic hygiene!

 

[Storm_Provider]

It only makes sense to call this "hocus-pocus" satanic because it is literally gay socialist witchcraft.
Gotta love some big titty ""atheist"" bimbo who believes in horoscopes and worships satan while listening to kpop.

 

[Baloney Face]

Just got caught up.

It seems these gals are all left wing. By their own account, usual disclaimers about not all etc.

Well OK, but you'd think adherents of such an ancient discipline would be "conservative".

 

[NoReturn]

Just got caught up.

It seems these gals are all left wing. By their own account, usual disclaimers about not all etc.

Well OK, but you'd think adherents of such an ancient discipline would be "conservative".

It's a hobby for them, its fun. They only take the parts they like.