Inactive Richard "Lowtax" Kyanka - Deadbeat (emphasis on "Dead") founder of Something Awful, forced out of his own community, on his second divorce, stuck his dick in crazy, "Birth Giver"

[CharlesBarkley]

Jeff should put in a shitty blonde wig and massage rich's deformed testicle with his tounge to become the new owner of SA for free.

 

[Thumb Butler]

Jeff should put in a shitty blonde wig and massage rich's deformed testicle with his tounge to become the new owner of SA for free.

Time to bring Shmorky back.

 

[Orange Rhymer]

It isn't so fun when you're in the receiving end, that's exactly what you're thinking, right?

Corollary: Like Radiohead says-
"You do it to yourself,
and that's what really hurts"

(courtesy of Yahtzee, the only successful person ever associated with SA)

 

[Extremist Frank]

Never affiliated in SA in any way? She was a fucking administrator you absolute horse's ass. It's literally in the SA hierarchy the only position below "Lowtax".

She technically was living inside of SomethingAwful's headquarters, she appeared on several SA affiliated streams, and was directly introduced to SA at large by you directly - directly dealing with the writers.

He said “not being employed or affiliated with SA in any way” not “never.” Its a minor nuance, but it renders his statement correct unlike if he used “never”—she is (seemingly) no longer the made-up COO of SA and she is no longer an admin on the site. She no longer lives in SA’s headquarters, and she is unlikely to be rehired by LT in the future.

The only way his statement can be construed as wrong is if having an SA account = affiliated.

 

[White Devil]

Corollary: Like Radiohead says-
"You do it to yourself,
and that's what really hurts"

(courtesy of Yahtzee, the only successful person ever associated with SA)

I'd say moot was pretty successful.

 

[Orange Rhymer]

there's a real clogged toilet motif in their discourse

Maybe Logan should add that to her CV?

 

[BIG BILL HELL'S]

I'll give you a special sticker if you answer them. Bitches love stickers.

Is it bad form to recommend a Null post for random.txt? Asking for a friend.

 

[nohull]

Please be well. I've heard of you, you have your own pain

God damn it Logan! Stop mentioning Josh's hemorrhoids, he really doesn't like it, it's disgusting and it's fucking low!

 

[sperginity]

@Mormon BPD Cokewhore please share with us how much money Richard wastes on Goldbelly. We know he gets pies and cookies but they sell a lot more than that.

I don't know why she would, the moment she gave us a nugget of drama a bunch of people decided to moral fag about how awful she is for sharing it.

 

[George Floyd Sneed]

I don't know why she would, the moment she gave us a nugget of drama a bunch of people decided to moral fag about how awful she is for sharing it.

Those people are faggots and suck ass. Nobody is going to read a 10,000 word dissertation on why she is a homewrecking whore anyway. Let’s at least try to get some laughs before it devolves into a Very Special Episode of Kiwi Farms.

 

[PTNR 2.0]

I'd say moot was pretty successful.

Sam Hyde lobbied HARD to have Million Dollar Extreme be part of SA's brand back in 2008 or 2009 or so, which was right around the time SA needed to revamp immediately or resign themselves to irrelevancy. After being repeatedly blown off by a site that was still at the time buttering its bread with ancient, tired shit like Photoshop Friday and cringey, unfunny Lovecraft pastiches from Zach Parsons like they had for the past decade, Sam just said 'fuck it' and went and got himself more (in)famous than he ever would have on SA, and has done more to shape edgy internet humor in the past 5-10 years than SA has in the past 15+.

The biggest blunder SA did, though, was invent Let's Play culture and then do absolutely nothing to monetize it. There's an alternate timeline where AGDQ and Twitch (or their mirror universe equivalents anyway) are both a part of the Something Awful media empire and Lowtax is a multi-multi-millionaire, swimming through a vault full of Goldbelly cookies and Ambien pills ala Scrooge McDuck. What did this timeline's Lowtax do? "Gaming Garbage", 6 years too late. Womp womp.

 

[GearProject20]

Sam Hyde lobbied HARD to have Million Dollar Extreme be part of SA's brand back in 2008 or 2009 or so, which was right around the time SA needed to revamp immediately or resign themselves to irrelevancy. After being repeatedly blown off by a site that was still at the time buttering its bread with ancient, tired shit like Photoshop Friday and cringey, unfunny Lovecraft pastiches from Zach Parsons like they had for the past decade, Sam just said 'fuck it' and went and got himself more (in)famous than he ever would have on SA, and has done more to shape edgy internet humor in the past 5-10 years than SA has in the past 15+.

The biggest blunder SA did, though, was invent Let's Play culture and then do absolutely nothing to monetize it. There's an alternate timeline where AGDQ and Twitch (or their mirror universe equivalents anyway) are both a part of the Something Awful media empire and Lowtax is a multi-multi-millionaire, swimming through a vault full of Goldbelly cookies and Ambien pills ala Scrooge McDuck. What did this timeline's Lowtax do? "Gaming Garbage", 6 years too late. Womp womp.

Seriously, it's legitimately incredible how hard Lowtax has failed. He could have been another Zuckerberg or Dorsey but instead he's a dead-end junkie living in a trashy McMansion in the suburbs wasting the little bit of money he has on overpriced pies. So much of 2000s internet culture sprung out of SA and he failed to capitalize on any of it.

 

[AnOminous]

Sam Hyde lobbied HARD to have Million Dollar Extreme be part of SA's brand back in 2008 or 2009 or so, which was right around the time SA needed to revamp immediately or resign themselves to irrelevancy.

Low-T has to be the dumbest motherfucker ever to be born.

 

[Beavis]

Low-T has to be the dumbest motherfucker ever to be born.

Combination of laziness and greed.

 

[Maldron the Assassin]

Logan, if you are in need of employment might I offer you the position of COO at Burnell Productions?

 

[Pissmaster]

Seriously, it's legitimately incredible how hard Lowtax has failed. He could have been another Zuckerberg or Dorsey but instead he's a dead-end junkie living in a trashy McMansion in the suburbs wasting the little bit of money he has on overpriced pies. So much of 2000s internet culture sprung out of SA and he failed to capitalize on any of it.

And even with all that failure, he was still sitting pretty until he stuck his dick in crazy, and then beat her up for being crazy. I don't think there's a single one of us in this thread, including Logan, that could have blown it all nearly as hard as Lowtax did. Even at our lowest points, even while on drugs.

This is Lowtax's absolute best timeline. In most timelines where he wasn't so retardedly lucky, he's been in and out of jail for decades for random petty shit and drunk driving.

Hell, remember Awful Video? ARC? He tried to make a media empire, but it showed to be the slightest bit challenging, so that all flew out the window. Right at the beginning of internet video taking off, too! Like holy shit!

 

[AnOminous]

And even with all that failure, he was still sitting pretty until he stuck his dick in crazy, and then beat her up for being crazy. I don't think there's a single one of us in this thread, including Logan, that could have blown it all nearly as hard as Lowtax did. Even at our lowest points, even while on drugs.

That's actually the most amazing thing. Imagine having this crazy slut willing to suck your dick and in return, you had to do nothing. That's all you had to do, to get $10K a month and get your dick sucked right now, while having a slam pig who could slap around the troons who currently ran your site and maybe get a couple grand more for you than you were already getting doing nothing. Maybe she wasn't a business wizard but she could easily have made more money for him.

But no, he just had to smack her around too.

Any lolcow with a thread here could have made more out of that situation than Low-T did.

What a stupid motherfucker. He should suck start a shotgun.

 

[Harbinger of Kali Yuga]

As I've said many times, SA succeeded not because of Lowtax, but in spite of him.

 

[AnOminous]

As I've said many times, SA succeeded not because of Lowtax, but in spite of him.

It didn't succeed though. Look at it.

 

[pwnest injun]

Jesus christ, virtually everything you say could be a valid question / complaint at you.

Welcome to Cluster B personality disorders.

I seriously doubt Logan's complaint against her therapist, because every therapist fucking hates Cluster Bs. They can't be helped. They will just be human landmines for ever.