How are you doing? - Kiwi Farms Wellness Check

[The Sauce Boss]

Back living with my folks for now. Met a cute guy through a friend of a friend, we hit it off, but I'm not sure if he's the right type for me. He seems... flighty.

It's not been great. My folks constantly trash and mock me for failing to move out, participating in protest stuff, attempting to dip my foot into voice acting, pro wrestling and journalism (the three fields I was most interested in as a kid), constantly making jokes at my expense to the rest of the family and our friends.

My cousin came to visit the day before yesterday. He gave me a big hug and said that he saw me as more of a brother than a cousin and that being queer wouldn't change that, so that was really, really nice. I went out and got pizza with my childhood best friend yesterday and we had a fucking blast, but at the end of the day, I always have to come home and deal with my family's constant denigrating and mockery, and I'm not sure how much longer I can take being reminded that no matter what I do, they'll never love me as much as they loved my mother, and by that they mean, they'll hate me just as much as they hated her.

 

[Medical Hawaii]

Back living with my folks for now. Met a cute guy through a friend of a friend, we hit it off, but I'm not sure if he's the right type for me. He seems... flighty.

It's not been great. My folks constantly trash and mock me for failing to move out, participating in protest stuff, attempting to dip my foot into voice acting, pro wrestling and journalism (the three fields I was most interested in as a kid), constantly making jokes at my expense to the rest of the family and our friends.

My cousin came to visit the day before yesterday. He gave me a big hug and said that he saw me as more of a brother than a cousin and that being queer wouldn't change that, so that was really, really nice. I went out and got pizza with my childhood best friend yesterday and we had a fucking blast, but at the end of the day, I always have to come home and deal with my family's constant denigrating and mockery, and I'm not sure how much longer I can take being reminded that no matter what I do, they'll never love me as much as they loved my mother, and by that they mean, they'll hate me just as much as they hated her.

stay strong

 

[Orion Balls]

Back living with my folks for now. Met a cute guy through a friend of a friend, we hit it off, but I'm not sure if he's the right type for me. He seems... flighty.

It's not been great. My folks constantly trash and mock me for failing to move out, participating in protest stuff, attempting to dip my foot into voice acting, pro wrestling and journalism (the three fields I was most interested in as a kid), constantly making jokes at my expense to the rest of the family and our friends.

My cousin came to visit the day before yesterday. He gave me a big hug and said that he saw me as more of a brother than a cousin and that being queer wouldn't change that, so that was really, really nice. I went out and got pizza with my childhood best friend yesterday and we had a fucking blast, but at the end of the day, I always have to come home and deal with my family's constant denigrating and mockery, and I'm not sure how much longer I can take being reminded that no matter what I do, they'll never love me as much as they loved my mother, and by that they mean, they'll hate me just as much as they hated her.

Just remember that you can make your own family. You're never stuck with the one you have, no matter what anyone says. Take care of you.

 

[Stilgar of Troon]

Back living with my folks for now. Met a cute guy through a friend of a friend, we hit it off, but I'm not sure if he's the right type for me. He seems... flighty.

It's not been great. My folks constantly trash and mock me for failing to move out, participating in protest stuff, attempting to dip my foot into voice acting, pro wrestling and journalism (the three fields I was most interested in as a kid), constantly making jokes at my expense to the rest of the family and our friends.

My cousin came to visit the day before yesterday. He gave me a big hug and said that he saw me as more of a brother than a cousin and that being queer wouldn't change that, so that was really, really nice. I went out and got pizza with my childhood best friend yesterday and we had a fucking blast, but at the end of the day, I always have to come home and deal with my family's constant denigrating and mockery, and I'm not sure how much longer I can take being reminded that no matter what I do, they'll never love me as much as they loved my mother, and by that they mean, they'll hate me just as much as they hated her.

You have friends, though, right? They're the family you choose for yourself, rather than the one that seems determined to shit on you all the time. You don't have to meet anyone's approval but your own, if they can't just accept you for who, what and how you are, that's their issue to resolve. They can only hurt you as much as you're willing to let them and you will get away from them when the timing's right. Keep your chin up, man, "illegitimi non carborundum" and all that.

 

[The Sauce Boss]

You have friends, though, right? They're the family you choose for yourself, rather than the one that seems determined to shit on you all the time. You don't have to meet anyone's approval but your own, if they can't just accept you for who, what and how you are, that's their issue to resolve. They can only hurt you as much as you're willing to let them and you will get away from them when the timing's right. Keep your chin up, man, "illegitimi non carborundum" and all that.

Just remember that you can make your own family. You're never stuck with the one you have, no matter what anyone says. Take care of you.

They literally threw out my Medicaid papers b/c "you don't need no government handouts, get a job".

You know. The papers that pay for my medication for my stroke-level pulmonary hypertension. The office of which is currently closed due to Covid. Which also contained my card.

I had to dig through stinking, rotting trash to make sure that I get my pills. I also got to find out that they've been going about spreading my sexuality to all and sundry so now it doesn't fucking matter that I'm in the closet, because every single piece of white trash in this town now knows that I'm a faggot, and I can't tell you how many 'concerned' calls I've gotten in the past few days, and how many ugly looks I'm gonna get when I go back to church on Sunday b/c I still consider myself a person of faith even with that sexuality.

I am stuck with this family. They barge into my room to see what I'm doing, they stalk me when I go out of the house, they open and read all my mail before I get it, they run background checks on anyone I know by name (I've had to make up names for my friends because of this), they refuse to allow me to drink while my granddad slams back tallboys watching the UFC fights, and worst of all, they have a stranglehold on my dead mother's life insurance policy. There isn't much money left in it after they gave it all to the better grandchildren, but it's there, and it's mine.

This is powerlevelling. I do not care. I am enraged. I have done my level best to control my anger, because I am a naturally violent and angry person. I went to therapy, I got on downers, I drank, I smoked, I did everything I could to fucking mellow out, and these fucking boomers that I could easily break in half like toothpicks continue to live rent-free in my head 24/7/365, and they know I have nowhere else to go right now and constantly remind me of this.

If there was any way to solve this issue permanently, in a realistic fashion, I would take it right now, but alas, that's not an option.

 

[Orion Balls]

They literally threw out my Medicaid papers b/c "you don't need no government handouts, get a job".

You know. The papers that pay for my medication for my stroke-level pulmonary hypertension. The office of which is currently closed due to Covid. Which also contained my card.

I had to dig through stinking, rotting trash to make sure that I get my pills. I also got to find out that they've been going about spreading my sexuality to all and sundry so now it doesn't fucking matter that I'm in the closet, because every single piece of white trash in this town now knows that I'm a faggot, and I can't tell you how many 'concerned' calls I've gotten in the past few days, and how many ugly looks I'm gonna get when I go back to church on Sunday b/c I still consider myself a person of faith even with that sexuality.

I am stuck with this family. They barge into my room to see what I'm doing, they stalk me when I go out of the house, they open and read all my mail before I get it, they run background checks on anyone I know by name (I've had to make up names for my friends because of this), they refuse to allow me to drink while my granddad slams back tallboys watching the UFC fights, and worst of all, they have a stranglehold on my dead mother's life insurance policy. There isn't much money left in it after they gave it all to the better grandchildren, but it's there, and it's mine.

This is powerlevelling. I do not care. I am enraged. I have done my level best to control my anger, because I am a naturally violent and angry person. I went to therapy, I got on downers, I drank, I smoked, I did everything I could to fucking mellow out, and these fucking boomers that I could easily break in half like toothpicks continue to live rent-free in my head 24/7/365, and they know I have nowhere else to go right now and constantly remind me of this.

If there was any way to solve this issue permanently, in a realistic fashion, I would take it right now, but alas, that's not an option.

You shouldn't tolerate this. GTFO, now. Do you have $135? You can go almost anywhere in the US with that kind of money. Starting over is hard. But people do it all the time. Stay strong, and get stronger, friend.
E- Detaching with love is always a possibility. You don't need your mother's money to go live your own life. You don't need the approval of family to be content with who you are. People striking out a new life, away from toxic home communities, is a tale as old as time. Go have a happy existence. Yes, this may take some planning. But make an exit plan, and follow it.

 

[Stilgar of Troon]

They literally threw out my Medicaid papers b/c "you don't need no government handouts, get a job".

You know. The papers that pay for my medication for my stroke-level pulmonary hypertension. The office of which is currently closed due to Covid. Which also contained my card.

I had to dig through stinking, rotting trash to make sure that I get my pills. I also got to find out that they've been going about spreading my sexuality to all and sundry so now it doesn't fucking matter that I'm in the closet, because every single piece of white trash in this town now knows that I'm a faggot, and I can't tell you how many 'concerned' calls I've gotten in the past few days, and how many ugly looks I'm gonna get when I go back to church on Sunday b/c I still consider myself a person of faith even with that sexuality.

I am stuck with this family. They barge into my room to see what I'm doing, they stalk me when I go out of the house, they open and read all my mail before I get it, they run background checks on anyone I know by name (I've had to make up names for my friends because of this), they refuse to allow me to drink while my granddad slams back tallboys watching the UFC fights, and worst of all, they have a stranglehold on my dead mother's life insurance policy. There isn't much money left in it after they gave it all to the better grandchildren, but it's there, and it's mine.

This is powerlevelling. I do not care. I am enraged. I have done my level best to control my anger, because I am a naturally violent and angry person. I went to therapy, I got on downers, I drank, I smoked, I did everything I could to fucking mellow out, and these fucking boomers that I could easily break in half like toothpicks continue to live rent-free in my head 24/7/365, and they know I have nowhere else to go right now and constantly remind me of this.

If there was any way to solve this issue permanently, in a realistic fashion, I would take it right now, but alas, that's not an option.

Get the heck out of there, man. That is no way to live, at all. Any friends out of town/state that you could get to, who'd put you up? Now you've clarified how bad it is, much as I like to preach caution and circumspection in these matters, this sounds like a burning fuse, if ever I heard one. Unless you've no other option but to wait a little, just get on your toes and bounce out of there ASAP. This sounds legitimately concerning, being honest.

 

[The Sauce Boss]

Get the heck out of there, man. That is no way to live, at all. Any friends out of town/state that you could get to, who'd put you up? Now you've clarified how bad it is, much as I like to preach caution and circumspection in these matters, this sounds like a burning fuse, if ever I heard one. Unless you've no other option but to wait a little, just get on your toes and bounce out of there ASAP. This sounds legitimately concerning, being honest.

No. The entire reason I'm out here is because my (now ex) boyfriend and I had a falling out, and he was my main networking connection in Dallas.

Right now I just have to wait it out. That friend I mentioned earlier is a bit of a sped and is convinced he can move to japan, as a white man, but I'm trying to get that fool idea out of his head. Is it selfish? I kinda think so, but it's for both our benefit. If I can convince him to kibosh his retarded, half-baked plan and sign on with me on a lease, I can leave these fucking boomers to the Devil that made them.

It's honestly not normally this bad. Back when I was younger and my granddad was bigger than me he'd beat the absolute fear of god into me. Not a belting, a beating. Then one day I guess his right hand started to slow down, so he stopped coming at me, and if he ever gets brave enough to try again, me leaving the house is the least of their worries.

 

[Stilgar of Troon]

No. The entire reason I'm out here is because my (now ex) boyfriend and I had a falling out, and he was my main networking connection in Dallas.

Right now I just have to wait it out. That friend I mentioned earlier is a bit of a sped and is convinced he can move to japan, as a white man, but I'm trying to get that fool idea out of his head. Is it selfish? I kinda think so, but it's for both our benefit. If I can convince him to kibosh his retarded, half-baked plan and sign on with me on a lease, I can leave these fucking boomers to the Devil that made them.

It's honestly not normally this bad. Back when I was younger and my granddad was bigger than me he'd beat the absolute fear of god into me. Not a belting, a beating. Then one day I guess his right hand started to slow down, so he stopped coming at me, and if he ever gets brave enough to try again, me leaving the house is the least of their worries.

Ahh crap, that's a rough deal. They sound absolutely horrific to live with. Your friend is bonkers to want to move to Japan, you're dead right and it's not selfish to talk him out of a bad idea just because it potentially benefits you, too. You'd try and talk him out of it even if your current situation was great, right? If so, not selfish. I hope you can make him see sense and then get yourself out of harm's way. Rooting for you, dude.

 

[The Sauce Boss]

Sorry if I'm PLing too hard but I just don't really have anywhere else to go but here. Situation devolved. I think I might try and get myself a mental health stay tomorrow if things don't let up. I'm skipping town before the year's end, at the very least. I can't live like this.

 

[neverendingmidi]

Got a fresh work coat from the uniform company. Don’t know what they wash it in, but I’m now fighting a livid, blistering rash on my arms. It seems to calm down through the day, then start up again at night. I have been to a doctor, and I’m taking meds, but it doesn’t seem to be calming it down as much as I expected.

 

[Parson Weebs]

I've spent 12 years of my life

Spoiler: NSFW

wanking to

transsexuals and I've never been convinced. I regret my social isolation. I find it hard to avoid going crazy at times. For all my troubles and general autismatic arrogance, I like to think I have a lot to give. Maybe it's true.

 

[BOONES]

People don't realize they don't need to be mean, but ill never forget that some bad eggs still have a chance to be good.

 

[The Sauce Boss]

I am falling back into alcoholism and suicidal ideation. I'm scared.

 

[Medical Hawaii]

I am falling back into alcoholism and suicidal ideation. I'm scared.

i will continue to keep you in my prayers<4

 

[Allegory]

Not drinking enough water, I need to set an alarm or something to remind me.

 

[Curt Sibling]

My war with the squirrels attacking my sunflower crop has now moved to peaceful relations.
I bought two huge bags of sunflower seeds and gave them an alternative free dish of seeds.

Essentially paying protection to the squirrel mafia.
Should have done this in the first place...

 

[Raging Capybara]

I'm good at absolutely nothing, I don't have a talent or even a career. No degrees, no job history, no nothing.

I'm a failure.

 

[Nick Gars]

Quietly knocking on Death's door, asking when I can be let in. Yeah, it's fucking dark, sorry if I'm bumming you guys out, it's just how I feel right now.

 

[12FluidOunces]

Lost my job due to Covid, found another via teleconference in quarantine (I hate the current gig but any port in a storm, ya know...), the garden had a great year - we're gonna expand it again this fall, and the wife and I had a 'good quarantine' - we grew closer as things got darker and we really lived up to the 'good times and bad' part of our vows.

I do a lot of youth sports coaching and that's all been wiped out this year but it'll start again and I'll be there. Of all the things to really miss, it's those kids and their enthusiasm.

All in all - p good, no complaints.