Tess Holliday / Ryann Maegen Hoven - Beached Landwhale model, Body positive and social justice snacktivist, and gigantic fraud

How much does Ryann weigh?

  • 300-350lbs (Panda Bear)

    Votes: 26 1.0%
  • 350-400lbs (Bull Caribou)

    Votes: 146 5.5%
  • 400-450lbs (Heart of a Blue Whale)

    Votes: 379 14.2%
  • 450-500lbs (Pigmy Hippo)

    Votes: 545 20.5%
  • 500-550lbs (Domestic Pig)

    Votes: 394 14.8%
  • 550-600lbs (Baby Grand Piano)

    Votes: 318 12.0%
  • 600-650lbs (Vending Machine)

    Votes: 192 7.2%
  • 650+ (A Fucking Planet)

    Votes: 661 24.8%

  • Total voters
    2,661
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I'm confused about this strawberry dress thing. Is she claiming she designed it or invented it? And somebody ripped off her design?

Because otherwise I don't get why she's so bothered. I don't know about you guys, but I have never once bought a dress, posted a pic of myself in it, and then credited the first model who wore it. What the fuck.

And if this is a Tik Tok thing then, I mean, yeah. Tik Tok kids are kids. They do things other Tik Tok kids do. Why the hell would they care about Tess frickin Holliday? She's old. Like Zoolander. (But without all the success.)

ETA: Also keep the word "revolution" out of your damn mouth if your entire career is shilling for fast fashion.
 
I'm confused about this strawberry dress thing. Is she claiming she designed it or invented it? And somebody ripped off her design?

Because otherwise I don't get why she's so bothered. I don't know about you guys, but I have never once bought a dress, posted a pic of myself in it, and then credited the first model who wore it. What the fuck.

And if this is a Tik Tok thing then, I mean, yeah. Tik Tok kids are kids. They do things other Tik Tok kids do. Why the hell would they care about Tess frickin Holliday? She's old. Like Zoolander. (But without all the success.)

ETA: Also keep the word "revolution" out of your damn mouth if your entire career is shilling for fast fashion.

No, she did not design it, but simply wore it -poorly- at some party around the Grammy's in January. Tess has not the creativity or urge to design and sew a dress.

She just dropped into an extended narc rage because the dress got popular with slim TikTok Teens, who don't give a flying shit about a 36 year old morbidly obese pseudo supermodel.
 
Woo, lots of bullshit. Didn't bother opening the graphics program because it's late and I have work soon, therefore I can't afford to drink myself into oblivion and that's inevitably what happens when I stare at pixels made by dumb fucks with cameras.

Still, screen shots are big, so they're under a spoiler.

View attachment 1528579
This right here is why I won't bother with any further staring at these images. Because her fucking elbow. I have already grabbed a tasty adult beverage thanks to that shit. I mean, WTF?!!? I know she's inhaled enough cake to feed Ethiopia, but this makes it real evident. Her elbow fat has its own dedicated fat roll. That's impressive.

View attachment 1528580
Confirmation of hotel. Nice cheap rolling luggage there, Tess.

View attachment 1528582
And if you look carefully, you can see her panty line. So that 4x is fitting like a fucking second skin. Yikes.

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Finally, I'm no purse fanatic, so I have no fucking clue what kind of bag this is. Just thought I'd bring it up because I know there's some folks here that are really into handbags and can give us all a general idea as to the make/model/year/approximate cost/quality of it.

Last pic: It's a makeup bag from a 2018 subscription box. Specifically, it's by Bob the Drag Queen, and it's no longer available on their website.
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and Archive of article with more details (since it's no longer available, all the other links I could find went to a dead page).
 
Finally, I'm no purse fanatic, so I have no fucking clue what kind of bag this is. Just thought I'd bring it up because I know there's some folks here that are really into handbags and can give us all a general idea as to the make/model/year/approximate cost/quality of it.
This just looks like a traveling makeup case to me. Nice work spotting all this.
I can't believe she's claiming that's her bedroom. I, too, have only a rolling suitcase, a travel makeup bag and nothing else in my bedroom. Wtf?
 
I'm confused about this strawberry dress thing. Is she claiming she designed it or invented it? And somebody ripped off her design?

Because otherwise I don't get why she's so bothered. I don't know about you guys, but I have never once bought a dress, posted a pic of myself in it, and then credited the first model who wore it. What the fuck.

And if this is a Tik Tok thing then, I mean, yeah. Tik Tok kids are kids. They do things other Tik Tok kids do. Why the hell would they care about Tess frickin Holliday? She's old. Like Zoolander. (But without all the success.)

ETA: Also keep the word "revolution" out of your damn mouth if your entire career is shilling for fast fashion.
She’s just throwing a temper tantrum because she didn’t get all of the attention for wearing it. She can’t stand that she’s a nobody now and thinks just because she wore it first she deserves all of the praise. Ignoring the fact that she also wore a summer dress in the winter, but of course it’s all JUST because she’s fat.

Like, ok, let’s ignore all of the other stuff for a moment. Most people never even saw that she wore it because she’s not relevant anymore. She wasn’t even at the actual Grammys, she was at some side party so people didn’t see it all over tv and purposely ignore it.
 
She’s just throwing a temper tantrum because she didn’t get all of the attention for wearing it. She can’t stand that she’s a nobody now and thinks just because she wore it first she deserves all of the praise. Ignoring the fact that she also wore a summer dress in the winter, but of course it’s all JUST because she’s fat.

Like, ok, let’s ignore all of the other stuff for a moment. Most people never even saw that she wore it because she’s not relevant anymore. She wasn’t even at the actual Grammys, she was at some side party so people didn’t see it all over tv and purposely ignore it.
She made it sound like she actually went to the Grammys...lying sack of shit.
 
She’s just throwing a temper tantrum because she didn’t get all of the attention for wearing it. She can’t stand that she’s a nobody now and thinks just because she wore it first she deserves all of the praise. Ignoring the fact that she also wore a summer dress in the winter, but of course it’s all JUST because she’s fat.

Like, ok, let’s ignore all of the other stuff for a moment. Most people never even saw that she wore it because she’s not relevant anymore. She wasn’t even at the actual Grammys, she was at some side party so people didn’t see it all over tv and purposely ignore it.
She made it sound like she actually went to the Grammys...lying sack of shit.
She did go to the Grammys. She was a seat filler on the farthest edges of the nosebleeds.

Eta: evidence from Tess's stories was posted here about this back in January; she outed herself when she posted video from her shitty seats
 
Tess Holliday Doesn’t ‘Give a S - - -’ About Wearing the Strawberry TikTok Dress First

Yep. Tess doesn't give a shit so much that she got buttmad because non-cows went viral over it instead of her, and lied about the reactions to it while posting about it repeatedly.

And just to show how much she really doesn't give a shit, now she's doing an interview about it!
 
was this specific article posted yet? Jezebel.com declares her the only person who looks good in it. and something something skinny is fascist?

On thinner bodies, the dress skews a tiny bit fascist. Returning to The Sound of Music for just one moment, I have to imagine that the Baroness would’ve shimmied her way into an iteration of this thing for the big party, if only it had been available.
:story:
 
What the hell was the writer of that article on? Most people look at clothing as... clothing; something you wear to hopefully look & feel good. On Tess, it looks as though at any moment, it might result in a full blown eruption of a 55 gallon drum of Cool Whip. It does nothing for her.
 
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