DarksydePhil / TheyCallMeDSP / Phil Burnell - General Discussion

[EmperorGoutatine]

 

[Dread Pirate Retard]

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$1585 at $5 a pop. Half of which goes to Dark. Epic trolling.

 

[Shirō Ishii]

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Phil's ability to attract retards truly is a sight to behold

 

[Pargon]

Phil's ability to attract retards truly is a sight to behold

It's his single talent. Phil would make an excellent drug dealer. He'd maintain repeat customers no matter how often he raised his rates and before anyone could become a threat or get picked up by the cops they'd inevitably OD without leaving any evidence implicating him at all. In a way we're all in debt to 30 years' worth of game developers; in a universe without them Phil might've failed upward to become his generation's Capone.

 

[Shambler]

Ok, so you're just going to be autistic about it and deny detractors get to him.

detractors only get to phil when they threaten his money (or his rassling addiction)
phil could give less of a shit if you called him a doodoo head or scammer or retard
none of that cuts the money train

 

[Draventren]

He's so stuck on being a "variety" streamer, but fails to realize that most people were attracted to his YT because he played tons of Street Fighter. If he went back to being the guy who just played fighters (albeit poorly) and then did one or two days a week or fan requested games he'd probably jump back up to a mid tier streamer/YT'er.

The most reasonable job choice for him is going to be call center work. They'll take just about anybody if they can put a butt in a seat.. Most call centers are 3rd party operations and they're required to meet metrics of call coverage so if you can answer a phone, they'll take you. However if it ever gets out that Phil is working for one and they discover which company it is, you can bet the reerees will be calling in like crazy to talk to him about his gout. He'll quickly find himself out on his ass if he's creating a larger call volume for the company.

I've worked in a call center and that work is actually a massive cunt. It's busy, requires a lot of dealing with people, and can be extremely stressful if you're not a people person, which is one way Phil and I are similar, neither of us are good with people. Even if he did lower himself to seeking employment at a call center, he'd quit in a month because the work's too hard. That's before he has to deal with the retards calling him to troll him, and depending on the place, locking up phone lines since some places make it literally impossible for you to hang up the phone until the other side does. It'd more likely be he gets fired because he spends his whole shift talking to three people total since they won't get off the line.

I know it's really classy to quote yourself. But like I started thinking about this. Phil is kind of a failure as a member of society. Like, maybe not on paper, but hear me out. Like he's not exactly a criminal, you know innocent until proven guilty. But I don't know how he lives with himself. Like the Leanna and the not paying the Project 7 people is just goddamn shameful. Around here even if someone refuses money (around here you gotta try 5 times) you give them something. And you just know he would totally take the last bits of food from his folks, and you know for certain he doesn't let his wife take them, or even god forbid him ever having a kid. Like could you imagine him going ah, Phil Jr. there's only one piece of pizza left, you take it. Because I sure as hell can't imagine that. He just doesn't possess a single ounce of charity in his heart. You could jump his car and he'd leave you in a cloud of dust before you comically say "well you're welcome I suppose".

And I didn't say a failure as an adult because like he's what 39? That would be despicable at 29. Shameful at 19. And if I'm being completely honest, I think there are 9 year olds that have a better track record of not being a little shit like Phil was. Even when they aren't around their parents or teachers.

He doesn't even have the decency to lie about it. Like just a few token statements of how he offered them money a few times. Even if they don't want to make money off of doing all that work for you - who would want to make money off of hard work, right? - do something to make it seem like you're trying. Buy lunch a few times, give them gas money if you need them to do something on site. It's not hard to look like you give a shit about other people, even if you are entirely apathetic.

 

[gh0stzero]

Talking to three people total since they won't get off the line.

They need to cheer, sub or tip to have their questions eligible for ask the king.

Or it would go like this:

"and that my good man is how I got laid off from machinima, now let me tell you the story of me and my ex girlfriend Leanna"

"yeah that's great, but I just wanted to check what time your store is open to"

 

[Paladin Derich]

One thing I noticed during this was GoldenNobles has given over $100 in bits and has subbed for at least a year, so why is Phil calling him stupid?

I wonder if GN was the guy who made Phil get all teary-eyed not too long ago. Absolute pottery.

 

[Ted’s Lolcow Emporium]

When it comes to Phil and work he is fucked. He is 40 with no savings i’m a very expensive area of the country with a massive spending habit. He essentially has no work experience or connections and any job that won’t ask him hard questions in an interview won’t be a job worth getting in the first place. The type of job he can get doesn’t do much in Washington and the longer he waits the harder it will be to get up the career ladder.

He is a man who has spent 12 years living in a fantasy world he controls and has no social skills and can’t handle criticism and has to try and compete with people 20 years younger than him.

Jokes on you, i'd be pretty happy with having my own thread on THE kiwi farms!

You are stupid. Phil digs his own grave. Gay ops don’t do anything. Exposing shit like WWE and his creep fanbase is all that’s needed.

I wonder if GN was the guy who made Phil get all teary-eyed not too long ago. Absolute pottery.

A year ago Phil used to be able to have patience and pretend to be nice to his paypigs. It really has been the vest streak that has made him more entitled to money and praise than anything. Think about OIC. Tonight he seemed in a bad mood and has gotten more and more annoyed with Phil. He is a top level whale and it’s only been three months. It took years for this journey to happen with swagginz.

 

[Iron Father]

detractors only get to phil when they threaten his money (or his rassling addiction)
phil could give less of a shit if you called him a doodoo head or scammer or retard
none of that cuts the money train

So then why does he read Kiwi Farms, or mute trolls, or delete/disable Youtube comments, or hold grudges against people who talked about him, or lean into chat and randomly ban/argue with people without them even throwing coins his way?

I agree that his primary concern is money but he's definitely a thin-skinned pussy too. He has a huge ego.

 

[Ted’s Lolcow Emporium]

So then why does he read Kiwi Farms, or mute trolls, or delete/disable Youtube comments, or hold grudges against people who talked about him, or lean into chat and randomly ban/argue with people without them even throwing coins his way?

I agree that his primary concern is money but he's definitely a thin-skinned pussy too. He has a huge ego.

It’s not specifically KF though or the detractors. He is paranoid like Stalin during the purge. People who want tough games are trolls. People who want a plat vest are trolls. Anyone who doesn’t agree with him at this point is a troll.

 

[Radical Goodspeed]

So then why does he read Kiwi Farms, or mute trolls, or delete/disable Youtube comments, or hold grudges against people who talked about him, or lean into chat and randomly ban/argue with people without them even throwing coins his way?

I agree that his primary concern is money but he's definitely a thin-skinned pussy too. He has a huge ego.

It definitely gets to him. The only way we wouldnt is if KF died.

The interplay between greed and ego is his biggest internal conflict. Besides the imanent artery blockage.

 

[Iron Father]

It definitely gets to him. The only way we wouldnt is if KF died.

The interplay between greed and ego is his biggest internal conflict. Besides the imanent artery blockage.

The vest really plays on that conflict between greed and ego too, because he knows it's easy money to play along with the gimmick but at the same time he also knows it's really autistic and makes him look like a massive clown. Watching him flip between "stop talking about the stupid vest" and "it's gonna end guys please tip me asap!" has been pretty entertaining, if anything just to see that conflict play out in real time.

 

[Shambler]

So then why does he read Kiwi Farms, or mute trolls, or delete/disable Youtube comments, or hold grudges against people who talked about him, or lean into chat and randomly ban/argue with people without them even throwing coins his way?

I agree that his primary concern is money but he's definitely a thin-skinned pussy too. He has a huge ego.

oh he's no doubt a gigantic fucking pussy, and his skin is as thick as paper but you definitely notice that things relating to money get to him more than anything, phil isn't regretful of any past actions because they all brought him money.

 

[DarkSoulsPhil]

Phil is a giant greedy man baby and he will see this comment, but he cant LIMB this comment.

Hi Phil.

 

[Cyber Bowling]

Might as well throw my two cents into the trolling conversation. I think there's a pretty big difference between general detractor content versus trolling Phil. Doing restreams and making this is how you don't plays or whatever isn't really done to annoy Phil, it's made to appeal to other detractors and point out his hypocrisy. It is (or should be) funny whether or not Phil even knows it exists or comments on.

In comparison, if you're trolling Phil, it has to personally involve him in some capacity. The latest example would be the copyright saga. That differs from detractor content because it only works due to Phil personally reacting to it. IMO, trolling Phil is so discouraged because it is usually unfunny and repetitive, and weirdly, tends to involve giving him money.

Probably the best example of trolling Phil was Nigel chasing him out of WWE guilds. It clearly got under his skin and didn't involve giving him any money. It also technically didn't even involve interacting with Phil directly, and there was also no way for Phil to try and spin it to his paypigs to get more money. It also didn't take months to setup/complete.

I think the reason trolling Phil really doesn't work is because the whole entire point of trolling someone is to get them upset/angry and reacting to that. But Phil is pretty much always like that as it is. If anything, most of the trolling attempts make him happy because his legion of paypigs come to his defense whenever it happens in chat, so then he gets to flex on whatever person he just banned, not to mention he can get some sympathy tips from people who want to own the trolls. Phil works best when he can play up his victim complex and act like the whole world is against him. That's why I think him being upset/angry of his own accord is more entertaining then him getting mad because someone in chat mentioned Leanna or made a gout joke or whatever.

I'm in no way trying to defend Phil or say he's off limits, and if someone has a legit good idea to get under his skin, more power to them. But even if someone does have something funny planned, it's better to just act on it as opposed to talking about it on here, in no small part because we actively have rules against it, but also because it seems like the more people talk about doing something, the less likely they are to actually act on it. The other thing too is, Phil really isn't worth getting that invested in. Doing something to get a laugh at Phil's expense is one thing, but there's no reason to let him start living rent free in your head.

 

[Dizzyuntildeath]

if someone has a legit good idea to get under his skin, more power to them.

Take away his toys.
Would be a real shame if someone offered Kat behind the scenes a comfy lifestyle and not having to work three exhausting six hour shifts a week.
Phil would have carry his own groceries and C̶o̶o̶k̶ ̶h̶i̶s̶ ̶o̶w̶n̶ ̶m̶e̶a̶l̶s̶ go to the door to grab the ordered food.

Do you think he'll read this and realize she is a point of entry for the insidious detractor community? 'Honey, I need you to delete your email address and give me your cell phone...and please have supper ready before you go to work'

 

[The Penultimate Warrior]

Take away his toys.
Would be a real shame if someone offered Kat behind the scenes a comfy lifestyle and not having to work three exhausting six hour shifts a week.
Phil would have carry his own groceries and C̶o̶o̶k̶ ̶h̶i̶s̶ ̶o̶w̶n̶ ̶m̶e̶a̶l̶s̶ go to the door to grab the ordered food.

Do you think he'll read this and realize she is a point of entry for the insidious detractor community? 'Honey, I need you to delete your email address and give me your cell phone...and please have supper ready before you go to work'

I've said it before, but I'm surprised people haven't tried to get hold of Kat via her work (not advocating this, just mentioning it)

 

[WhiskeyZuluLima]

Take away his toys.
Would be a real shame if someone offered Kat behind the scenes a comfy lifestyle and not having to work three exhausting six hour shifts a week.
Phil would have carry his own groceries and C̶o̶o̶k̶ ̶h̶i̶s̶ ̶o̶w̶n̶ ̶m̶e̶a̶l̶s̶ go to the door to grab the ordered food.

Do you think he'll read this and realize she is a point of entry for the insidious detractor community? 'Honey, I need you to delete your email address and give me your cell phone...and please have supper ready before you go to work'

When Kat first appeared I remember the conversations being about her being some kind of mental (I'm paraphrasing very broadly), and everything since then has corroborated that point, I genuinely doubt that she'll move beyond Phil very quickly. She has a room to play video games all day six days of the week, and then maybe has to pretend to work for a couple hours on rare occassion. I seriously doubt that she or Phil cooks, since I've been told by someone I know who works in the same place as Kat that on their day off for shopping - as Phil so loves to remind everyone - she is sometimes working on those Tuesdays, so there's no chance Phil goes and buys shit alone meaning there's another week of ordering food for every meal. From a student perspective, surely this is peak comfy, and again given that the general understanding is she's a bit mental it's probably what she would consider comfy too.

 

[Iron Father]

Surprised nobody tried to contact his sister-cousin. She was probably living under the stairs like Harry Potter as her fat greedy obnoxious cousin ruled the roost.