Orbiter Phil’s Weird Body... - Like, WTF? I’ve never seen anything like it.

[Sparkletor 2.0]

If it's a computer and Linda knows how to go online and Google at all, the fact she's not bawling her eyes out every second she sees Phil suggests something very wrong in that relationship.

Well, we know why she believes her golden child and not the entire rest of the internet. "Mom, if any of those things were true, I would be kicked off every platform!"

Linda probably believes this. That's not how the internet works.

On Twitter, for example, you can post furry diaper hard core gay sex cartoons no problem. Call someone fat and you get banned.

The internet has different rules for different people. Linda is naive enough to believe the pignosis.

 

[Quantum Diabetes]

If Phil trains properly, he can attain Life with louie's Dad physique

 

[gh0stzero]

If it's a computer and Linda knows how to go online and Google at all, the fact she's not bawling her eyes out every second she sees Phil suggests something very wrong in that relationship.

We know how tech illiterate Phil is imagine a literal boomer brain that has some of the same DNA as Phil trying to figure out tech.

Ok so she had a laptop in that one clip that doesn't mean she's a heavy internet user, probably just looking up shit to do with them in connecticut.

I got to admit though thinking about mama burnell lurking this sub forum is pretty funny.

 

[Quantum Diabetes]

Phil did not take this 80s psa to heart

https://youtu.be/Rb_q9B3NpOY

 

[Fapcop]

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Phil was perfectly below normal looking until his 20s. He always had a bit of an oddly-shaped head and subhuman maxilla, but nothing notably grotesque. It wasn't until he got fat in the mid-2000s that he went way downhill.

Also, I'd bet that the oddly-shaped head story never happened. He said that in his overly dramatic lying voice. Phil was probably just the ugly kid in high school that everyone ignored, and he was so busy focusing on his grades giving him the excuse to never be socially successful.

Phil is actually alright looking as an 18 year old. Doesn’t look like a supreme Chad, but def. somebody to pick up some drunk girls.

The funniest part though is his permanent frown/downward smile.

Notice that it’s not there at all in the first picture. It wasn’t till later that Phil got his permanent bitch face.

 

[Iron Father]

So one of the longest running DSP memes is comparing him to Ricky Gervais' character from The Office; Dave Brent. Well I just wanted to point out that Ricky Gervais is almost 60 years old and this is now what he looks like:

How do you look this much worse than a man 20 years your senior who has been fat majority of his adult life?

 

[Iron Father]

Sry doublepost...

What's up with the Hate Eternal shirt? King Of All Kings?

I see why he got the shirt since he doesn't have any musical taste.

He got it because King of (Kings) Hate (Eternal) legit that's why, just so he could advertize his dumb online name with a band shirt he's probably never listened to.

Great band and album by the way, which is how I knew it wasn't because he's a fan. That faggot liked My Chemical Romance, not death metal.

I guess it's time to post the video of Phil explaining how he has done extensive research into penile enlargement.

Reminds me of that video when he wore the super tight Ghostbusters costume, and basically confirmed his micro-penis status.

 

[gh0stzero]

Sry doublepost...



He got it because King of (Kings) Hate (Eternal) legit that's why, just so he could advertize his dumb online name with a band shirt he's probably never listened to.

Great band and album by the way, which is how I knew it wasn't because he's a fan. That faggot liked My Chemical Romance, not death metal.



Reminds me of that video when he wore the super tight Ghostbusters costume, and basically confirmed his micro-penis status.

"Makes me look like I have a giant penis when I really dont!"
"Makes me look like I have a giant penis when I really dont!!"
"Makes me look like I have a giant penis when I really dont!!!"

MICROPENNE CONFIRMED

 

[Dizzyuntildeath]

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So one of the longest running DSP memes is comparing him to Ricky Gervais' character from The Office; Dave Brent. Well I just wanted to point out that Ricky Gervais is almost 60 years old and this is now what he looks like:

View attachment 1541933

How do you look this much worse than a man 20 years your senior who has been fat majority of his adult life?

Nobody said watching a man slowly die was going to be pretty. Those Hollywood movies have spoiled us.

 

[DZoomer]

Reminder that Phil doesn't believe he's aging badly and actually thinks he looks good.

Also, is it normal to keep using a t-shirt you bought ten years ago?

 

[Schmeckel]

Reminder that Phil doesn't believe he's aging badly and actually thinks he looks good.

Also, is it normal to keep using a t-shirt you bought ten years ago?

God, he looks like the walking dead.

As for shirts, though... I've got a couple few shirts I got at concerts and shit like that from around a decade ago in a drawer. I don't wear them, but they're there. With how much Dave has worn that thing, it's gotta be phyllo thin and one stiff breeze would make it disintegrate.

 

[Fapcop]

Phil is an a Ghostbusters costume?


It sure has been awhile since he gave a crap about anything else than squeezing through with the lowest amount of effort possible, eh?

Don’t get me wrong, Phil has always been shitty and lazy. But back in the day he at least gave off the impression of giving a damn once in a while.

As opposed to today when Phil’s concept of investing in his work and putting on a show, consists of buying a shitty 10$ vest on Amazon and wearing it for 5 minutes.

 

[Nypical Haterade Comment]

I had to go back and capture the back of his head from the Project 7 video and as featured in The Goutsketeer's avatar.
View attachment 1531773
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“When this pigroach hits 88 begs an hour, you’re gonna see some serious shit.”

 

[Preferred Penne]

God, he looks like the walking dead.

As for shirts, though... I've got a couple few shirts I got at concerts and shit like that from around a decade ago in a drawer. I don't wear them, but they're there. With how much Dave has worn that thing, it's gotta be phyllo thin and one stiff breeze would make it disintegrate.

I have a few shirts that are around 20 years old. They may have a couple of holes and fraying at the neckline, but I still wear them if I'm not going anywhere special.

 

[millais]

Does it strike anyone else as odd that whenever he is blowing soap bubbles, his face takes on this scrunched up, contorted look, with his eyes squinting at maximum effort. There really is something wrong with his face; I've never seen anyone look like that blowing bubbles. It's not some herculean task that requires 110% concentration.

 

[Shirō Ishii]

Reminder that Phil doesn't believe he's aging badly and actually thinks he looks good.

Also, is it normal to keep using a t-shirt you bought ten years ago?

He looks like he's aged over 20 years in that pic, going from an early 20's look to looking like you're in your mid to late forties in the span of 10 years.

Does it strike anyone else as odd that whenever he is blowing soap bubbles, his face takes on this scrunched up, contorted look, with his eyes squinting at maximum effort. There really is something wrong with his face; I've never seen anyone look like that blowing bubbles. It's not some herculean task that requires 110% concentration.

Considering this is the same man who struggles carrying milk, I'm not surprised that his body is so weak that it requires the Strength of Hercules to blow bubbles.

Spoiler: Phil blowing bubbles

 

[hector85]

Reminder that Phil doesn't believe he's aging badly and actually thinks he looks good.

Also, is it normal to keep using a t-shirt you bought ten years ago?

kinda weird to say this but 10 years ago phil looked "healthier" than the ghoul he has become today.

 

[Wurstbrot]

Reminder that Phil doesn't believe he's aging badly and actually thinks he looks good.

Also, is it normal to keep using a t-shirt you bought ten years ago?

If you'd tell me those two Phils are entirely different people, I would believe you.

 

[No. 7 cat]

It's kind of a gamer body, lots of fat, no muscle, like he'd lose an arm wrestle with a little girl in grade school.

 

[Schmeckel]

It's kind of a gamer body, lots of fat, no muscle, like he'd lose an arm wrestle with a little girl in grade school.

And then he'd pimp slap the shit out of her.