Battletoads 2020 - Chug my dumptruck you stinky wimps, BEEP BEEP, GARBAGE BUTT BACKING U-U-U-UP!

[Frosted Snowflakes]

Get ready to laugh at these edits.


And have a lewd.

 

[Jeff_the_Thriller]

"Everything you love will turn to shit" is what I often heard, and its true. I just didn't think it would be so literal...
View attachment 1545790
Aaaaaand... he shat himself... Wow.

There is literally no reason for the diaper. It's like mixing random access humor and normalizing a degenerate kink. Why???

 

[ducktales4gameboy]

The sad thing is that's not even a lewd. That's just the original design.

Really makes me feel like the new 'dark queen' should've been her daughter or something given the humor the game's going for. The original could still be the heavy metal styled badass and there'd be a ton of potential for actual comedy with them ripping on eachother's clothing choices, plus the game could ham up the 'i'm mad at my parent' angle for a reason for the nu-queen to be playable on the toads' side.

 

[FluffyTehFennekin]

The art style reminds me of that TMNT reboot on Nick (Rise of the Ninja Turtles, the crappy one)

 

[ChefKiss]

Why does Microsoft keep fucking up their funded titles in noted devs/studios? first there was D4 being fucked out of money, Then there was Phantom Dust being fucked over, then Scalebound happened, and out of all of them the games to get released are this and crackdown 3.
One a bomb no one asked for aside for the meme to call into game-stop about, with an art style that cuphead blows out of the water, and the other crackdown 3 which speaks for itself

You think D4 is first? Look up True Fantasy Live Online.
Microsoft has always had a bad habit of showing up halfway through development and deciding your game needs to do something to push something else they're trying to sell.
Add voice chat, add kinect, make your single player RPG an online co-op game, use the power of the cloud, no we dont know how either but fuck you, do it. Add a single player campaign to this previous online-competitive only game, no we arent giving you any extra time or money just do it.
All of these things have happened, some of them multiple times.

 

[A Grey Cat]

The sad thing is that's not even a lewd. That's just the original design.

Really makes me feel like the new 'dark queen' should've been her daughter or something given the humor the game's going for. The original could still be the heavy metal styled badass and there'd be a ton of potential for actual comedy with them ripping on eachother's clothing choices, plus the game could ham up the 'i'm mad at my parent' angle for a reason for the nu-queen to be playable on the toads' side.

Ok I didn't wanna say anything to get involved but as the Saying goes speak now or forever hold your peace
I don't mind her new look. Personally I'm trying to head cannon this is a younger less confident in her body (and also can't show it off obviously) dark queen.


Plus remember back in the 90s watchdog groups were much smaller than they are now, and most of them went after the Simpsons, mortal Kombat, splatterhouse and so many other more infamous games rares battle toads more or less slipped under the radar.

Nowadays with every one on both sides of the political spectrum trying to censor "sexy" women for the sake of "body positivity." Why take a chance of drawing the ire of a hate mod.


Do I wish there was a way to get the classic dark queen look? Of course but who knows maybe they'll be dlc or an episode expansion that can unlock the classic design or if this IS supposed to be a prequel explain where it came from... but I would not hold my breath over it.

Final thoughts I'm gonna check back in here after some kiwis can shed some light on how it turns out..and then decide of it's worth at least waiting for a price drop to buy.

 

[NerdShamer]

Ok I didn't wanna say anything to get involved but as the Saying goes speak now or forever hold your peace
I don't mind her new look. Personally I'm trying to head cannon this is a younger less confident in her body (and also can't show it off obviously) dark queen.


Plus remember back in the 90s watchdog groups were much smaller than they are now, and most of them went after the Simpsons, mortal Kombat, splatterhouse and so many other more infamous games rares battle toads more or less slipped under the radar.

Nowadays with every one on both sides of the political spectrum trying to censor "sexy" women for the sake of "body positivity." Why take a chance of drawing the ire of a hate mod.


Do I wish there was a way to get the classic dark queen look? Of course but who knows maybe they'll be dlc or an episode expansion that can unlock the classic design or if this IS supposed to be a prequel explain where it came from... but I would not hold my breath over it.

Final thoughts I'm gonna check back in here after some kiwis can shed some light on how it turns out..and then decide of it's worth at least waiting for a price drop to buy.

I've watched the cutscenes and the ending of the first level mentions that it's been nearly 30 years since their last adventure.

So let's face it: It's hard to keep this figure when you're almost 50.

And being sexy is the last thing on her mind, this time around.

 

[A Grey Cat]

I've watched the cutscenes and the ending of the first level mentions that it's been nearly 30 years since their last adventure.

So let's face it: It's hard to keep this figure when you're almost 50.

And being sexy is the last thing on her mind, this time around.

Yeah if your human, isn't the dark queen an alien? Who's to say she doesn't age slower, and even if she doesn't who's to say mature women can't look good? 60 and still spunky was a very popular girlie mag in the way back when

 

[NerdShamer]

Yeah if your human, isn't the dark queen an alien? Who's to say she doesn't age slower, and even if she doesn't who's to say mature women can't look good? 60 and still spunky was a very popular girlie mag in the way back when

The only autistic counterpoint that I have is that she's literally been holed up in a radioactive amusement park, which made her look unattractive from radi...You know what? Let's just chalk this up as "body diversity" as the YouTube commentators put it.

 

[Dang Woodchucks!]

Yeah if your human, isn't the dark queen an alien? Who's to say she doesn't age slower, and even if she doesn't who's to say mature women can't look good? 60 and still spunky was a very popular girlie mag in the way back when

She's also a cartoon.

Cartoons don't age.

 

[A Grey Cat]

She's also a cartoon.

Cartoons don't age.

I was going to say that too I'm well aware...to quote the random.txt this is why I stick with 2D

 

[ltlftp]

Final thoughts I'm gonna check back in here after some kiwis can shed some light on how it turns out..and then decide of it's worth at least waiting for a price drop to buy.

I mean I already took a giant dump on the game but I will say if you're someone who has no problem with the art or the humor and consider beat 'em ups to just be mindless fun then the game is probably fine for you. Personally though I can't handle that, it's too shallow and boring. Which might sound like a weird complaint for a beat 'em up, but it's not the 90s anymore, the genre evolved past that. Lot of really great beat 'em ups over the past 15 years that actually have very fun and deep combat systems. Or they focus on other areas to flesh the game out so the combat doesn't get as boring as quickly.

They sort of tried to do the latter with Battletoads as many of the chapters are just lame minigames. But they're just that, lame. I gave up on the game after chapter 3 because it was that boring but according to the Destructoid review the game has 25 chapters and 18 of those chapters are just mini-games.

 

[Picnic_Boy]

View attachment 1546854
BOOBIES SCARY, POWERFUL ATTRACTIVE WOMEN BAD

View attachment 1546863
SCAT GOOD, GHOSTBUSTERS 2016 HUMOR GOOD

The original Dark Queen was a parody of Flash Gordon's style of sexacious space villainesses. These types of characters were a mainstay of old sci-fi serials.

The new Dark Queen is just some lady, who apparently is an expert at pooping.

 

[A Grey Cat]

I mean I already took a giant dump on the game but I will say if you're someone who has no problem with the art or the humor and consider beat 'em ups to just be mindless fun then the game is probably fine for you. Personally though I can't handle that, it's too shallow and boring. Which might sound like a weird complaint for a beat 'em up, but it's not the 90s anymore, the genre evolved past that. Lot of really great beat 'em ups over the past 15 years that actually have very fun and deep combat systems. Or they focus on other areas to flesh the game out so the combat doesn't get as boring as quickly.

They sort of tried to do the latter with Battletoads as many of the chapters are just lame minigames. But they're just that, lame. I gave up on the game after chapter 3 because it was that boring but according to the Destructoid review the game has 25 chapters and 18 of those chapters are just mini-games.

To be fair this isn't the same team behind the original game all those years ago and it has been a while, the old girl rare is a little Rusty.

Ironically for as flawed as playtonic and yooka laylee games are, they consist of the people who probably could have made a Battle toads reboot work seeing as how a good chunk of the staff there used to work on titles from rares golden age.

Personally I think the only reason Microsoft bankrolled this little excursion was the surprise hit yooka layee turned out to be, despite the initial critisms, lukewarm sales and the Jon jaffari controversy. The game did well enough to warrant a 2.5D follow up. So Microsoft figured "hey we have the rights to the actual characters and millions of dollars we can funnel into this and it'd just be a drop in the bucket for us, maybe we can cash in on people's nostalgia without relying on Kickstarter or crowd funding

 

[The Last Stand]

Did the original Battletoads sell well because of Rare or the TMNT ripoff?

 

[Jeff Boomhauer]

The Take-That at the audience for preferring the old outfit just reeks of salt. "You prefer the original design? What a manchild! Now here's our fiftieth scat joke!"

 

[Chin of Campbell]

The Take-That at the audience for preferring the old outfit just reeks of salt. "You prefer the original design? What a manchild! Now here's our fiftieth scat joke!"

They'll never learn that shitting on your audience out of teeth-clenched teary-eyed anger at them for hating your shitty changes will never, ever, ever go over well. It didn't work with Ghostbusters and it sure as hell won't work with Battletoads.

 

[Dom Cruise]

I hate that it isn't enough for SJWs to take sexy out of games, they have to be spiteful about it, in this case replacing the mild sexy but still kid friendly original Dark Queen with even creepier (literal) shit.

They live for nothing more than to piss us off, the only way they feel any happiness is at the thought of us being unhappy, purposely ruining pop culture out of spite.

When are companies going to wake up and fire every last one of these assholes? As a fan of the original Xbox and the first few years of the Xbox 360 the decline of Microsoft makes me sad.

 

[Smaug's Smokey Hole]

You think D4 is first? Look up True Fantasy Live Online.
Microsoft has always had a bad habit of showing up halfway through development and deciding your game needs to do something to push something else they're trying to sell.
Add voice chat, add kinect, make your single player RPG an online co-op game, use the power of the cloud, no we dont know how either but fuck you, do it. Add a single player campaign to this previous online-competitive only game, no we arent giving you any extra time or money just do it.
All of these things have happened, some of them multiple times.

I know of one game where MS reps showed up late in development requesting a new feature to be added, a graphical feature, just a small touch to the environment. It couldn't be done AND who the fuck would ever notice it? Eventually the MS reps accepted that it wasn't possible. It was a Kojima and the ice cubes type of harebrained idea that they had.

I understand their thinking with that one though, it doesn't seem that hard to do and more importantly: it could have been a shot, not even a scene, in an awesome time-lapse trailer. That trailer would probably be the only time 99.99999% of players would see or even notice the damn thing.
If someone looks at a game and only sees it as trailers and marketing material they're going to come up with odd requests to make things 'better'.

 

[Jeff_the_Thriller]

Did the original Battletoads sell well because of Rare or the TMNT ripoff?

I rented this game all the time as a kid. It was harder than shit and I think the only reason I liked it was the TMNT ripoff aspect. In the early 90s TMNT ripoffs were the style at the time. The first two levels were fun but children should not have been subjected to the turbo tunnels. I wake up in cold sweats screaming from the PTSD the turbo tunnels brought on.