DarksydePhil / TheyCallMeDSP / Phil Burnell - General Discussion

Status
Not open for further replies.
Pargon said:
Agreed that chat ruined DSP; he was never more unintentionally funny than when he was genuinely raging at a video game. That said, I also think a key reason why his flailing attempts at humor never landed is that he has the charisma of a dead snail. A mediocre joke can be made funny with the right execution. Timing, inflection, verbiage; these things are important to making a joke land, and you can't teach them. You pick some of it up from observation and then for the rest you make it your own. Performing for an audience is an art that needs to be honed and Phil couldn't tell you what a grindstone looked like if you put a gun to his head.

As a side note I think this is what gives streaming a bad name to some people, including myself. It's not as though it doesn't require any talent as compared to other forms of live entertainment, it's just that the barrier of entry is so low that speds like DSP clear it easily and finding someone who's good at it is wading through chaff to find wheat.
Click to expand...
Unfortunately the only times we can get him genuinely raging at games are with racing games and fighting games. With every other genre he just gets pissy at worst because he knows that he can just crane his neck to the side to see one of the wheelchairs giving him protips on how to do every single thing in the game.
His SF Throwbhek streams are the only thing I watch now (or restreams to be precise) especially now that he's getting rival detractors dunking on him he can't have a chill stream where he just dunks on scrubs all night. I mentioned this before but Lady Gambit is my favorite SF Detractor because she plays Super Turbo, which exposes what a sham his Top Ranked EVO North American Super Turbo legacy is in real time. The more she spitroasts the piggy the more you see him sweat and break down on stream.
 
  • Like
  • Agree
Reactions: 74 Screaming Armadillos, Draza, Full Race Replay and 2 others
You said:
It's almost as if obesity is defined not just by sheer weight but by a mixture of things like your body's muscle mass.

I have zero doubt Phil's body fat percentage is, at the very least, incredibly close to Jordie's just on the basis of Phil having completely atrophied muscles.
Click to expand...

I seriously don't know how someone's muscles have become the way they are. He looks like if you found a way to feed a coma patient fast food for the majority of their diet, and then they woke up 10 years later with no one bothering to try stimulating muscles.

I avoid making fun of other people for being fat generally because I am a fat fuck and I'm self-aware enough to to know that it makes me a hypocrite. That said, at least I have a normal amount of muscle mass and it's not like I was ever some star athlete. Genuine advice time Phil, when you read this: just fucking move slightly more than not at all.
 
  • Agree
  • Like
Reactions: Porn Theater Usher, Cardef1121, draculapenis and 4 others
  • Agree
  • Like
Reactions: draculapenis and Schmeckel
grump said:
I'm sorry to say a very long time ago I started out as an unironic fan of phil's playthroughs. Specifically his WET series. Back then he wasn't doing it for money or begging at all. He was always an ahole but in those times he was at least not bothering to hide his true self as much and actually playing because he wanted to and before he got tired of it all and his schtick got stale. That all came together to make something that while not Mozart was entertaining in its own stupid way I guess.

I'm a bit of a fan of asshole unPC humor even if its dumb humor and thats more along the lines of what DSP was before he became all uptight and started censoring himself to protect his dollardoos.
Click to expand...
Why would you ever admit something this embarrassing?
 
  • Like
  • Agree
  • DRINK!
Reactions: Trappin in the Trap, Hadidecount1990, Jaspergers Cat and 7 others
lmao the best is not only did he think his fucking signature on an empty game case for a game(s) he had no part in creating or developing; which I am sure was covered in his cum and tears was good enough as a giveaway.. he couldnt be bothered to get a silver or gold sharpie to sign the boxes so you can SEE it. :story: :story: :story:
 
  • Like
  • Winner
Reactions: Trappin in the Trap, Tatu Carreta, Nigel of Ukip and 4 others
1602697474882.png
 
  • Like
  • Thunk-Provoking
  • Winner
Reactions: Iron Father, JPG, Covfefe and 35 others
Xenomorph said:
lmao the best is not only did he think his fucking signature on an empty game case for a game(s) he had no part in creating or developing; which I am sure was covered in his cum and tears was good enough as a giveaway.. he couldnt be bothered to get a silver or gold sharpie to sign the boxes so you can SEE it. :story: :story: :story:
Click to expand...
You expect him to give away something worth money? Isn't it enough that he took the time to take the empty case out of whatever musty box he was keeping it in and sign it and put his business card in the case? Can he get you a car while he's so busy slaving for you fucking ingrate fans. No wonder he stopped giving stuff away, or to charity, or to his wife. You people are just thankless beasts. That said, please tip me.
 
  • Like
  • DRINK!
Reactions: Xenomorph, Muppetmode, yoshitsune and 4 others
Honzou said:
He's honestly a retard for not having tts. He'd make so much money just to endure some trolling. Either he's a thin skinned bitch or happy with how much he makes because he could easily double it overnight. It's has advanced enough filters now that nobody can sneak some nick gurrs in, there's zero chance of getting banned.
Click to expand...

he'll enable tts in 2035 when streamers have users submit their own voice messages to play on stream
 
  • Like
  • Agree
Reactions: Trappin in the Trap, Full Race Replay and 74 Screaming Armadillos
Remember years ago when a 25-minute pre-stream was considered too long?
Fast-forward to 2020 when Phil during the pre-stream is describing in detail his old and new alarm clock.

When asked why doesn't he use his phone for his alarm, he replied verbatim:

"Because my phone is always muted. As you guys know, sadly, many many years ago I was doxxed. All my information hit the internet. So when you are doxxed, you mute everything. Because at any moment you can have some guy from the other side of the globe calling you about trying to sell you plantains. I'm serious ."

He's inconceivably dumb.
 
  • Agree
  • Thunk-Provoking
Reactions: Nypical Haterade Comment, Trappin in the Trap, Nurse Ratchet and 5 others
gettingthatgrooveback said:
Remember years ago when a 25-minute pre-stream was considered too long?
Fast-forward to 2020 when Phil during the pre-stream is describing in detail his old and new alarm clock.

When asked why doesn't he use his phone for his alarm, he replied verbatim:

"Because my phone is always muted. As you guys know, sadly, many many years ago I was doxxed. All my information hit the internet. So when you are doxxed, you mute everything. Because at any moment you can have some guy from the other side of the globe calling you about trying to sell you plantains. I'm serious ."
Click to expand...
  1. That excuse doesn't even make sense, your alarm volume is separate from your ring/notification volume.
  2. He never bothered to get a new phone number after being doxxed and supposedly harassed for years.
His retardation continues to astound me.
 
  • Agree
  • Like
Reactions: Iron Father, drain, JPG and 21 others
Texas Funnyhair said:
Would his bargain basement insurance even cover a psychiatric visit? I can't see Dave shellin out $100+ at least outta pocket for something like that.
Click to expand...
You don't need to see a in person psych to get a script, the state's indigent / HHS program covers many people in that manner. You get a phone interview, don't have to pay for anything but the zoloft at the pharmacy.
 
Last edited:
  • Informative
  • Agree
Reactions: Trappin in the Trap and Donut Coma
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back