Horrorcow Lucas Werner - A man of Spokane, Washington who is obsessed with millennial and Gen Z chicks

[Jeremiah the Bullfrog]

2 things immediately come to mind with these latest posts:

Firstly, it’s amazing he can make posts asking to “run those guts, kween” and them find himself shocked and appalled when random YouTubers tell him he “beguiles women with zero success” and he’s “creepy”.

Second, he wants a college campus work study for pay. Is he referring to being a guinea pig for lab testing or is this taking a job at the college doing actual work for a paycheck?

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When I interviewed him yesterday, he said that he's going to take a work study 'filing papers' for a semester to see if he can handle the stress. If he can, he may add a class or two on top of it. This is all part of his grand plan to achieve a PHD in 'Intergenerational Relationships'.

Since he's 40 and talking about taking a class a semester, he should complete his Bachelor's sometime around his 88th Birthday. Then he just has his Master's and Doctoral work (which I assume he'll complete from the comfort of his government sponsored nursing home).

 

[ToroidalBoat]

Haven't really kept up on Werner.

Does he still want that cube thing to send a message in time?

 

[AbraCadaver]

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He-Man's archnemesis poses a valid question.

And Lucas? If a dude with blue skin, who exclusively walks around wearing purple lingerie is getting laid more often than you, you should seriously reconsider your life, bitch.

And don't EVEN accuse Evilyn of agephobia - her boyfriend's face is a skull.

Why aren't YOU fucking a corpse, Lucas? Agephobic?

I’d fuck Skeletor before Lucas.

But that’s not saying much because I’d fuck Skeletor even if the option to not fuck him was presented. Dude works out, never skips leg day and it shows.

But alas, I cannot bang any buff bone boys, because Lucas posted that he “needs to run (my) guts” and now I am fucking infertile and gay and asexual and dead and whatever stops my insides from cringing at the prospect of such a thing.

Anyone who thinks such a statement won’t horrify women must be proper mental. The only thing saving my brain from committing suicide at the mere visualization is the knowledge that Lucas’ dick is so comically tiny that I doubt he could reach a women’s fucking hymen, much less her “guts.” He talks like he’s packing some gigantic 13 inch cock and not the sad golf ball of flesh he showed us on camera.

 

[boner_alert]

"The only reason a woman wouldn't want to date me is because they're agephobic bigots!"
"NOBODY GETS TO DEFINE ME! REEE!"

He truly does see women as nothing more than objects, what a literal misogynist.

A misogynist who wants to use women for sex but can't is no better or worse than a misogynist who uses women for sex. Because it means he's objectively repulsive and has this grating delusion that he's honorable and not a misogynist

 

[Da Dude123]

When I interviewed him yesterday, he said that he's going to take a work study 'filing papers' for a semester to see if he can handle the stress. If he can, he may add a class or two on top of it. This is all part of his grand plan to achieve a PHD in 'Intergenerational Relationships'.

Since he's 40 and talking about taking a class a semester, he should complete his Bachelor's sometime around his 88th Birthday. Then he just has his Master's and Doctoral work (which I assume he'll complete from the comfort of his government sponsored nursing home).

Yeah, the way he talked was he thought he would get a part-time job at the college filing papers and if he can handle that, then he would actually take a class. That isn't a work study. That is just a part-time job. Not exactly sure how many classes you would have to take for work study? I don't see this ever happening.

 

[Gas Station Boner Pills]

He talks like he’s packing some gigantic 13 inch cock and not the sad golf ball of flesh he showed us on camera.

When I first became a Wernologist I tried my best to avoid the dreaded DP that was circulating but alas, it always seems to find it's way into the feed when you least expect it. With that being said though, calling it golf ball size is surprisingly generous IMO. Even ping pong ball. I'd say more like a bouncy ball from one of those fifty cent gumball machines.

 

[Wernology]

I’d fuck Skeletor before Lucas.

But that’s not saying much because I’d fuck Skeletor even if the option to not fuck him was presented. Dude works out, never skips leg day and it shows.

But alas, I cannot bang any buff bone boys, because Lucas posted that he “needs to run (my) guts” and now I am fucking infertile and gay and asexual and dead and whatever stops my insides from cringing at the prospect of such a thing.

Anyone who thinks such a statement won’t horrify women must be proper mental. The only thing saving my brain from committing suicide at the mere visualization is the knowledge that Lucas’ dick is so comically tiny that I doubt he could reach a women’s fucking hymen, much less her “guts.” He talks like he’s packing some gigantic 13 inch cock and not the sad golf ball of flesh he showed us on camera.

In fairness, Skeletor probably doesn't have MRSA and if his costumes are any indication, he's got a nice set of cash and prizes.

Oh, and I made Lucas another dating profiles because he kept being pressed on his temper, aggression and anger management, soooo....

 

[GleamingTheQ-Bert]

In fairness, Skeletor probably doesn't have MRSA and if his costumes are any indication, he's got a nice set of cash and prizes.

Oh, and I made Lucas another dating profiles because he kept being pressed on his temper, aggression and anger management, soooo....

Gee, wasn't Mister "Don't call 'em bitches and THOTS!" HIMSELF calling 'em bitches and THOTS AND sluts in the last Golden USB?

Just a modicum of consistency, that's all I ask, Mister Telomerase, sir!

 

[AbraCadaver]

In fairness, Skeletor probably doesn't have MRSA and if his costumes are any indication, he's got a nice set of cash and prizes.

Oh, and I made Lucas another dating profiles because he kept being pressed on his temper, aggression and anger management, soooo....

ITT we are all secretly thirsty for Skeletor

And yet lucas calls us ageist! The nerve!

 

[pr3nt177]

In fairness, Skeletor probably doesn't have MRSA and if his costumes are any indication, he's got a nice set of cash and prizes.

Oh, and I made Lucas another dating profiles because he kept being pressed on his temper, aggression and anger management, soooo....

Great choice of music.

I found myself wiping my face when he started coughing and spluttering.

 

[Wernology]

Great choice of music.

I found myself wiping my face when he started coughing and spluttering.

In the original of that video if you have headphones on or turn the volume up, during his coughing fit you can hear him muttering about Bernie Sanders through clenched teeth.

 

[ThomasAudley]

@klickitat I hate to ask you for a personal favor here but - do you have the vid where he just starts shouting BITCH BOYS in public? It was right before he lost his phone for the first time but I CANNOT find it, I can't even recall what he was wearing.

 

[mothman96]

I’M A HUMAN BEING!!
Right, you’re a homeless human being.

That part absolutely killed it for me

Lucas has left humanity. He has human form but he's nothing more than a rutting animal.

 

[strandedcastaway]

I know it's Covid, but, is anyone else underwhelmed by a restaurant that gives you the choice of Spaghetti, Steak, or a half-duck? A limited menu can be a blessing in disguise but COME ON.

Haha....he talks like it's the best restaurant on earth, and your three options are a $14 spaghetti meal, a $65 steak, or a $40 duck. That's almost as bizarre as listening to Lucas's telomeres theories.

 

[LeeLoo]

Lucas has left humanity. He has human form but he's nothing more than a rutting animal.

Even classifying him as an animal is being too kind. Animals are far more intelligent and useful than Lucas. I’d classify Lucas as an amoeba, or quite possibly a new, vile species.

 

[Krathnami]

Even classifying him as an animal is being too kind. Animals are far more intelligent and useful than Lucas. I’d classify Lucas as an amoeba, or quite possibly a new, vile species.

Animals have a sense of self-preservation. They know that when they’re being fed they shouldn’t fuck that up. They understand that part of their survival depends on adequate shelter. They can become socialized to behave themselves around humans. And they reproduce a shitload.

 

[Da Dude123]

I read some reviews on Gander and Rye Grass online and it sounds like the food is plenty good, but why the awful menu? It is all about appearances with Lucas. I can see him showing up there in filthy Ill fitting clothing looking like a ragman.

He thinks this will impress the baby zooms. Well, he thinks wrong. He needs a car with a Bernie Sanders bumper sticker, a credit card, and a hot tub to do that.

Also, when Jeremiah was interviewing Lucas, it was stated by Lucas that he felt that having a girlfriend would solve all his problems. That is classic incel logic. He will still be a shit bum even if he found a Gen Z girlfriend. He won't, of course.

 

[Rescuetoast]

It’s just one of those “thing & unrelated thing” titled hipster restaurants where the food is usually alright but it’s overpriced and not anything to write home about. Nothing special.

 

[Draxx them Sklounst]

Also, when Jeremiah was interviewing Lucas, it was stated by Lucas that he felt that having a girlfriend would solve all his problems. That is classic incel logic. He will still be a shit bum even if he found a Gen Z girlfriend. He won't, of course.

And then he will resent her when she doesn't magically cure all his problems

 

[Gas Station Boner Pills]

when Jeremiah was interviewing Lucas, it was stated by Lucas that he felt that having a girlfriend would solve all his problems. That is classic incel logic. He will still be a shit bum even if he found a Gen Z girlfriend. He won't, of course.

One scenario I can't stop laughing at the thought of is that even if Lucas did somehow manage to find a "fecund range" baby zoom that was receptive to his lunacy, the odds are still extraordinarily against conception happening. With his age, poor diet, tendency to smoke, and health issues, there's no doubt he has the lowest sperm count a man could possibly have. That along with his admitted diabetic neuropathy would make natural conception almost not an option.

Not only that but being a "fecund range" baby zoom doesn't even guarentee being highly fertile. It's common for young women to experience any number of fertility issues. I mean hell, in the handful of zoomers I've dated most of them were upfront about having fertility issues.

I'd love to hear the chimp out after Lucas and baby zoom go to a fertility clinic as a last ditch effort to conceive and the practitioners break the news to him that being over 40 doesn't actually give you magic sperm, in fact it very significantly raises the chances that your offspring will have health defects, and Lucas would just plug his ears and go, "LALALALALA can't hear you why are you being a classist agephobe bigot?! MOOOO REEEEE!!!" and cause a scene and get banned from there like everywhere else.