She had to go to the seaside for no less than 50 days. I was scared that I will miss her so I told her I don’t want to commit. She became very angry and dissapointed. I have already made her mad with that other girl and now this… I also screwed up by saying I think she’ll cheat on my with bad boys. We met the next day, July 12 2007. That was the worst day of my life. The mood was depressing. We both knew we wouldn’t see each other for 50 days. She was angry and my bullshit couldn’t fly anymore. We got into an argument and she said she only wants to be friends. After more tense conversation I got up and walked away.
Just half an hour later I realized how stupid I’ve been. I sent her a long message, saying I’m sorry and that I hope we will see each other tomorrow before she goes to the seaside. She didn’t reply. I sent another very long message the next day, saying how sorry I am and how much I love her. But she already went to that resort with her family. As I was enlisting in college I felt like complete shit, like I was dying. I was so unhappy…. As for that other girl, the first one I met, I didn’t tell her about her yet but she also went away and we almost stopped exchanging messages, as if we knew it’s not working.
Summer started… I would send my crush a love song every day. I was so in love and so hopeful. I knew she’d be back here on July 25-26 for some medical exam and believed that’s when I’ll see her. I couldn’t wait ! On first days she seemed ok, even told me she misses me… But when she did come and I asked her to meet she told me “Why would we meet? You said you don’t want to commit”… I begged her, explained how stupid I was, but to no avail… She didn’t want to see me and said we’ll maybe see each other when she definitely comes back. I got really angry, as this meant I will not see her for another month and told some bad shit.
After that she became very cold while I got more and more obsessed. Around August 15 I finally had enough and told this other girl about everything that happened. Her reply was shocking – she never liked me and knew we had no chemistry but didn’t want to dissapoint me
She even agreed to send her a message, trying to convince her to be with me. But my crush just stopped replying. She didn’t reply for the last 20 days of August, sending me into despair. Still, I was hopeful that things will change when she comes back. September 1 was approaching.
When she finally did get back she sent me one single message, first one after 20 days “I don’t know, I don’t like you anymore”. I immediately burst into tears. During the next 3 days I didn’t cry, I was psychologically burnt out and remained in bed. Then she agreed to meet me but never said the time or the place. After that tears started. I’d wake up very early, be on the internet, cry, and that was my day. I was simply devastated.
After a week or so she sent me a message, asking me how I’m feeling. We started talking again and agreed to meet. However, she cancelled it.
After she cancelled it I made another great mistake. I went on that sms flert again and met another girl. This girl was my age, single and extremely attractive. We agreed to meet but that September 19 was another great fuck up. What happened was that I didn’t sleep all night, then went out with some friends in the morning and then, instead of going to fucking sleep, went to the neighbourhood of that girl (the only all this fuss was about), trying to see her. I came home at 3 PM and overslept the meeting with that other girl ! It turned out to be one of the most moronic mistakes in my life, as she was extremely angry and I was never given another chance. I can’t know if we would be together but if we could have been it turned out to be one of the worst mistakes of my life. But at that time I wasn’t too worried, as I still believed I will get that girl I liked so much back. We started talking a lot, and she even told me she wants to love me again. I was extatic. I thought all my trouble and hard work finally paid off. She promised me that we will meet. We arranged to meet on November 4, exactly 4 months after our beautiful meeting on 4 July. I really believed I will finally make her love me again and all of this will be something we will tell our grandchildren once.
But it was not meant to be. Just half an hour before the meeting she said she doesn’t feel like coming. I called her and she told me that any normal guy would give up long ago and wouldn’t let himself be treated that way. She doesn’t want to be with me.