>be me, QM
>before mail got implemented so have fuck all to do
>collect crates, mine a little
>make a buck
>basically never stepped foot out of cargo, except to get burritos from the chef
>mexican chef was only making burritos so I thanked the gods for not adding farting mechanics
>suddenly get an idea
>remember that I can order Monkey Mind Magnification Helmets AND monkey cubes
>suddenly get a dastardly idea
>order 4 MMMH crates and a monkey cube crate
>now to get to work
>suddenly get an urge to look outside of cargo
>THERE ARE NIGGER SHROOMS EVERYWHERE
>I'm going to die, aren't I?
>order a fuckton of laser guns
>try to break one
>give up
>get a PKA
>eventually manage to break it
>it's showtime
>fire at the fungus
>it does nothing
>ShitShitSHIT
>resign myself to my fate and walk into the fungus
>...
>nothing happens
>walk out of cargo bay
>everyone's fine
>I'm retarded
>finish the station objective by shielding cargo from asteroids
>a cargotech joins
>great
>robust the crates together
>go to medbay because lasers and monkeys fucked me up a little
>eventually get back, cargo tech is dead
>dump him in medbay because he isn't needed anymore
>Time to build my army
>start putting the helmets on all the monkeys, hoping that there are dead people willing to play
>only get one
>whatever, arm it anyway
>take the guns and head to evac since the shuttle got called
>recruit some fucks, five out a fuckton of guns, everybody loves the monkey
>monkey is instantly elected as the new HoP
>shuttle departs, everything is fine
>suddenly some shitter storms she monkey, almost killing it
>robust him instantly with my gun
>assistant gets beaten by the whole crew, monkey survives, happy end
-- Administrator private message --
>aw fuck
>hey, why did you kill that guy?
>he was fucking with the monkey
>okay
>get banned
>nigga wut?
>get unbanned
And this is how manu FINALLY got perma banned for murderboning the HoP