Containment What If?

What if the draft was reinstituted in the United States and Chris was the first person to be drafted into the military...
 
What if the draft was reinstituted in the United States and Chris was the first person to be drafted into the military...

He'd actually have to go because Don't Ask Don't Tell has been repealed.

He'd think its like the Ren and Stimpy episode about the Army.
 
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What if Chris became a fugitive on the run (over something worse than blarms)?

Remember when you were a little kid and thought that running away from home involved putting your teddy bear and a few peanut butter sandwiches and that week's allowance into your backpack and hiding under the neighbor's hedge all afternoon?
 
What if Chris opened up his own amusement park?

Sonichuland (the unhappiest place on Earth)

Top Attractions:

1. Ride through Chris' bowels on toboggan turds and end up in a pair of DIRTY CRAPPED BRIEFS.
2. Experience running over Mike Snyder countless times in the bumper cars.
3. Ride through Chris' sperm duct roller coaster as you shout at the end: "JULAAAY!".
4. Enjoy being maced by all the employees dressed as fat ugly trannies shouting "Don't call anybody!".
5. Bounce on Chris' unholy inflated buttocks like a bouncy castle.
6. Battle through Barb's horde and fight the skeleton of Bob the lumberjack.
7. Douse the house fire of 14BC.
8. Compete with your friends on the Sigh-0-meter!
9. Try out Bob's Ass-burgers at the GAMe PLACe cafeteria.
10. Attend the afternoon parade featuring dancing :pickle:s, :tugboat:s, :briefs:s, :sonichu:s, Mary Lee Walsh, and best of all, Barbara napping on her mobile armchair.
11. Flee from the Jerkops.
12. Beat up the guy dressed as Sonic with blue arms.
13. Create your own Attraction Sign.
14. Attend Chris' hearings in mock courtrooms and mace the reporters.
 
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Sonichuland (the unhappiest place on Earth)

Top Attractions:

1. Ride through Chris' bowels and end up in a pair of DIRTY CRAPPED BRIEFS.
2. Experience running over Mike Snyder countless times in the bumper cars.
3. Ride through Chris' sperm duct roller coaster as you shout at the end: "JULAAAY!".
4. Enjoy being maced by all the employees dressed as fat ugly trannies shouting "Don't call anybody!".
5. Bounce on Chris' unholy buttocks like a bouncy castle.
6. Battle through Barb's horde and fight the skeleton of Bob the lumberjack.
7. Douse the house fire of 14BC.
8. Compete with your friends on the Sigh-0-meter!
9. Try out Bob's Ass-burgers at the GAMe PLACe cafeteria.
10. Attend the afternoon parade featuring dancing :pickle:s, :tugboat:s, :briefs:s, :sonichu:s, Mary Lee Walsh, and best of all, Barbara napping on her mobile armchair.

Don't forgot "Strangle those Clyde Clashes" and the "10-Button electric chair challenge!" those were my favorites back in the day.
 
What if Chris got forced to move out and find his own place to live?
 
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