Horrorcow Lucas Werner - A man of Spokane, Washington who is obsessed with millennial and Gen Z chicks

[Marshal Mannerheim]

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A new song by our favorite singer Doctor Nigga.

I'm not sure whether to laugh or shake my head in confusion.

 

[mothman96]

Hey Lucas the Spokane Pedo Freak, there is no "Our", it's only you. For the good of humanity, evolution is taking you down and making it so you never reproduce. You are going to die alone.

 

[WonderWino]

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A new song by our favorite singer Doctor Nigga.

Imagine being a zoomer bae and randomly getting cold called with that message left for you. Thats some psycho creeper shit right there. If he keeps that up he is just asking to get reported to the cops

 

[Wernology]

Imagine being a zoomer bae and randomly getting cold called with that message left for you. Thats some psycho creeper shit right there. If he keeps that up he is just asking to get reported to the cops

Imagine just waiting for your bus transfer and that fat, greasy, balding, dirty hobo is sitting huddled near a window somewhere inside singing about sperm and eggs at his phone.

Edit: LOL! He left this comment on the latest video of him punching at his phone, then deleted it.

 

[teleméres69]

Pretty sure he's just so desperate he'll suck a cock if he thinks it'll get him a gf

https://youtu.be/P6rCK1bR6LM

I dunno. I still am not convinced he's gay. He may take it up the butt if the dude would hand him a Gen Z bae. Who knows? He may be sort of bi curious?

Shit like this is why people call you a pedophile and future rapist Lucas

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A new song by our favorite singer Doctor Nigga.

Surprised he didn't dislike this one. I like that he comments then pussies out knowing he'll get mocked in the comments that he has no control over

Imagine just waiting for your bus transfer and that fat, greasy, balding, dirty hobo is sitting huddled near a window somewhere inside singing about sperm and eggs at his phone.

Edit: LOL! He left this comment on the latest video of him punching at his phone, then deleted it.

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[wenttobermuda]

The quality of Lucas's music is declining. I used to at least get a chuckle out of transcribing his songs.

Telomerase:
The ends and on the ends of DNA.
It keep the strand from getting frayed.
The highest point in the 35 to 55 year old spermatozoa,
and the 18-24 year old ova.
Our babies need you, Gen Z.

So Lucas is on a content strike until someone yeets him a bae?

I’ll never understand this form of protest by him. It’s really the equivalent of holding your breath until you get your way. Eventually you have to breathe. Wern’s compulsion to post videos will return soon enough. Blathering into that camera phone is the only form of socializing that Lucas has. The crazy in him will ruminate until he has to express it.

His next video will probably start with, ”Here’s the thing...” and he will angrily expound on the circular argument that has been cycling in his brain over and over the past week, convinced of its iron clad logic.

Lucas produces content to attract a queefy bae. He can't help it. He is demanding a queefy bae, else he'll stop trying to attract a queefy bae.

I think even the most degenerate, depraved homosexual would have qualms buttfucking Lucas.

Someone allegedly had gay sex with Sockness. There are monsters out there, maybe even one who would get up in Lucas's butt if given the chance. And plenty of men, who would tell you they're straight if asked, can work up enough of a boner to make a point about dude's manhood.

 

[NattyDaddy]

https://youtu.be/XgtJcGKYPxA

This shit should be playing on the main page

 

[Wernology]

Lucas is becoming the queen of post & delete. I wonder if he thinks he's somehow discouraging me, but I do know one thing for sure: He has no idea what the word slut means.

If all of us were so, so slutty, he'd be getting laid a lot more often.

 

[GleamingTheQ-Bert]

Lucas is becoming the queen of post & delete. I wonder if he thinks he's somehow discouraging me, but I do know one thing for sure: He has no idea what the word slut means.

If all of us were so, so slutty, he'd be getting laid a lot more often.

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No, he still wouldn't. Even if the world was composed of nothing but 18 to 24 year old sluts, Lucas would still be a sexless smelly incel.

And the only woman he'd ever been with would still be Suzanne. Did you hear that Lucas? You're going to go to your grave having only ever slept with a middle-aged woman.

So funny.

 

[Goldaor]

Lucas is becoming the queen of post & delete.

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I don't think he's deleting them, YouTube keeps deleting comments with certain words but you still get the notification on YouTube studio

 

[Wernology]

I don't think he's deleting them, YouTube keeps deleting comments with certain words but you still get the notification on YouTube studio

Usually those just land in Held for Review in Studio, unless it's auto-flagging his comments because he keeps telling me to kill myself or "get Covid-19".

Either he also deleted some comments of his I'd pinned a week or so ago or some moron is white knight reporting his comments unless Youtube's stupid system is just that slow at automatically removing shit now.

 

[King Daddy Telomerase]

I don't think he's deleting them, YouTube keeps deleting comments with certain words but you still get the notification on YouTube studio

This. Including any words like slut will usually lead to a Youtube auto-delete, but they'll still show up in your feed. Youtube's filter is so damn annoying.

 

[Fanatical Pragmatist]

So lucas is admitting he would do homosexual acts irl then. Lucas 'totally not gay' werner everybody

Some gay guy should tell him he'll get him a zoomer bae if lucas takes it up the ass for him, then fuck his ass and refuse to give him a zoomer after. Teach lucas a lesson he'll never ever live down. and i'm sure his mother would be so proud to find out lucas wanted to fuck little girls so bad he let a guy buttfuck him

That would lead to Homophobic Lucas Saga, where he rants about how the Gay Christian Agephobic Gen-Z Fake-Socialist Flatbills just want to fuck his ass but not to help him impregnate a Zoomer bae.

Lucas is becoming the queen of post & delete. I wonder if he thinks he's somehow discouraging me, but I do know one thing for sure: He has no idea what the word slut means.

If all of us were so, so slutty, he'd be getting laid a lot more often.

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"I hope you die of COVID-19" the fat, aging male hobo with a pre-existing condition says to the presumably healthy, younger female.

Someone allegedly had gay sex with Sockness. There are monsters out there, maybe even one who would get up in Lucas's butt if given the chance. And plenty of men, who would tell you they're straight if asked, can work up enough of a boner to make a point about dude's manhood.

Didn't Sockness desperately try (and fail lol) to have "totally straight" sex with Chris Chan?

 

[GleamingTheQ-Bert]

His crazy knocking on the screen video reminded me of something, but I couldn't place it, until it surfaced in my memory: does anybody remember the movie Fear from 1996 with Reese Witherspoon and Mark Wahlberg?

There's a point in that movie where Mark Wahlberg is trying to get into the house and he's speaking through a peephole in the door and he screams "...So let me in the f****** house!"

Lucas is Mark Wahlberg in that scene without the muscles and the charm and the haircut and the....okay he's not Mark Wahlberg but that scene reminds me of him.

Edit: I just looked at Lucas's comment on the last "Weekly Wern" that Goldie posted, and I noticed that Lucas's revisionist history is in full effect: he says that Goldie is crying because Lucas wouldn't give him any more interviews.

Yeah... I don't seem to remember that happening, Lucas.

I seem to remember you chimping out and running away like a little bitch cuz you couldn't answer any questions.

Nobody asked you to do any further interviews, buddy.

Nobody cares what you have to say about anything; the interviews were only there because you're a laughable pathetic wretch, because you're so unaware of how ridiculous you look and act all the time, and because you have the magic ability to make any sympathy anyone ever has for you disappear, once they listen to the way you speak and act for a few minutes.

Basically it was just giving you enough rope to hang yourself, and these deep insightful interviews gave us the heretofore unreleased information that you piss yourself, that you would try to flirt with a girl friend of your supposed friend right in front of her, and basically that you're just a giant insane hypocrite waste of skin who's completely worthless insanely narcissistic and a giant drag on society and everyone who knows you.

You're not that interesting, buddy... you repeat yourself constantly, and in any one hour interview with you, everyone's going to hear your 18 to 24 year old garbage at least 11 times.

Because you can't help yourself.

Just like you had involuntary shakes when you took your antipsychotic drugs, the garbage that comes out of your mouth is almost entirely involuntary; it's just your brain's diarrhea, and your lips flapping because you can't keep them shut, because you're a sick little boy who thinks he's better than everyone.

Have fun freezing in the gutter Lucas.

No one put you there but yourself.

 

[Wernology]

Nobody asked you to do any further interviews, buddy.

I did, just to see what he'd say.

Hell, I even laid out rules to keep him on track and told him I wouldn't bring up the Starbucks or DV stuff (because everyone has heard those stories a billion times by now), wouldn't mention anything (directly) about KF, told him I'd give him a list of questions well in advance so he had time to research or think about his answers and be prepared, wouldn't spring any surprise shit that wasn't on the list of questions sent, and he got super pissed off because one of the the things was that he wouldn't be allowed to start screaming or repeating unrelated to the question bullshit and that I'd just mute him until he calmed down if he pulled that and he thought that was "unfair" then blocked the account again.

So, like, even when he's given a more than fair, softball chance to come across as "educated" or well spoken as he's capable of being he knows damn well he has nothing interesting to say and if he can't just sit there and scream over whoever invited him on, it's "unfair" to him.

I mean, I 100% knew he'd lose his fucking mind at those ground rules and refuse because he likes to think he's a control freak or some sort of 'daddy' or some shit, it just seemed like a funny af thing to ask him about a week after the big reveal of the Golden USB Show.

 

[Club Sandwich]

he keeps telling me to kill myself or "get Covid-19".

but he's non-violent! clearly only the supreme evil of gen z bigotry rustles him enough to be "violent" with words. and look how much of a revolutionary he is - pics of a blank stare and a wilted malformed fist to show him rising up against the oppression... that feeds, clothes, shelters him, gives him money, and medical care, and a reasonably safe society where he isn't enslaved or cut apart for organ harvesting.

he's so oppressed you guys. such oppression, much revolution, wow.

he got super pissed off because one of the the things was that he wouldn't be allowed to start screaming or repeating unrelated to the question bullshit and that I'd just mute him until he calmed down if he pulled that and he thought that was "unfair" then blocked the account again.

was he angry that you'd mute "his truth" or whatever, or that he couldn't randomly start screaming? did he say how it was unfair? like, i guess in his mind if he isn't in control 100% (real or not, his perception is the important thing to him) he would feel marginalized?

 

[Wernology]

but he's non-violent! clearly only the supreme evil of gen z bigotry rustles him enough to be "violent" with words. and look how much of a revolutionary he is - pics of a blank stare and a wilted malformed fist to show him rising up against the oppression... that feeds, clothes, shelters him, gives him money, and medical care, and a reasonably safe society where he isn't enslaved or cut apart for organ harvesting.

he's so oppressed you guys. such oppression, much revolution, wow.


was he angry that you'd mute "his truth" or whatever, or that he couldn't randomly start screaming? did he say how it was unfair? like, i guess in his mind if he isn't in control 100% (real or not, his perception is the important thing to him) he would feel marginalized?

He didn't elaborate, he just said it was "unfair" somehow to conduct an interview like an interview where the person being interviewed is expected to stay mostly on topic and can't avoid a question by just screaming, "MOVE ON! MOVE ON! MOOOOVEE ONNNN! NOPE NOPE! YOU'RE WRONG, YOU'RE WROOOONNNGGG!! CLASSIST AGEIST BIGOT!!!" until someone's ears start bleeding.

At least that's what I figured he meant because that's how his lizard brain works.

Let me see if I saved the PW to that burner IG anywhere and see if the DMs are still there.

Edit: LOL Well I found it, but it turns out Lucas DOES know how to remove incriminating DMs when he wants to because apart from what I said, this is the only thing he left behind:

I still have no idea why he said that (though if he hadn't deleted everything else he'd initially said maybe I would idk).

Lucas mentioned Chris Chan in his latest video "We have to just tolerate catfish?" it's almost as if he realizes he's a lolcow just like Chris.

Smart people don't, because smart people can recognize the easy fucking bait all of Lucas' catfish have been from...not even hello, from looking at the username or picture on the profile, but if not that, at LEAST from how they're all literally exactly EXACTLY what he's been yammering about "needing" at any given time.

Like Tiffany?

Well, she just happened to be a well off 18 year old with a whole fucking spare HOUSE who invited him to live in said house without ever having spoken to him prior. Even if we're going to allow for him to have a few days to fall for it because he was in A Mental State when it started, anyone even slightly brighter than Lucas would have had some gears start turning within a couple of days and would have gone with, "...wait a minute..."

But, not Lucas! Lucas left her a bunch of creepy "sexy" voicemails like the concept of a catfish was something he'd never heard of, and he does it every time.

He definitely doesn't realize it, he's hoping for sympathy from a Not Catfish (because that's worked out so well every other time, y'know...), I guarantee it and I'd also bet that anyone could make the lowest hanging fruit simple af catfish probably using the first google image result for "hot 18 year old" that didn't have bare titties and he'd be in love within an hour.

It's like watching those compilations of wild animals finding and not at all understanding the idea of a mirror, only way less adorable.

Lucas is funnier, tbh, because the animals you at least expect to not generally have a cognitive sense of self in most cases or, even if it's a species that does, the chances of any of them coming across a mirror good enough to show a very clear reflection even on a game preserve or wildlife sanctuary is next to zero so it's more of an, "Awwww, lol!" type funny.

Lucas should have that but he doesn't, and that's what makes it so goddamned hilarious. He's the angry gorilla that keeps trying to attack the mirror and never quite figures out that the big, dumb, shitty ape that's threatening him is just him. He gets close, but never quiiiiiite grasps it.

 

[Goldaor]

Lucas mentioned Chris Chan in his latest video "We have to just tolerate catfish?" it's almost as if he realizes he's a lolcow just like Chris.

 

[Patchwork Ragdoll]

Filthy, filthy mask.

 

[Wernology]

Getting tonight's compilation put together before heading to bed in my actual house with an actual bed and not a bus shelter, but here, while we wait enjoy this (I know he won't take me up on it because he's got as much backbone as those nasty ramen noodles he's eating with chopsticks in my avatar, but it'd still be funny as hell):

Y'ALL, HE'LL MAKE ME CRY IF WE WERE FACE TO FACE.