Horrorcow Lucas Werner - A man of Spokane, Washington who is obsessed with millennial and Gen Z chicks

[Iseecovidpeople]

So I'm reading here that Lucas has a plane ticket to California. But isn't he currently on parole? Wouldn't this violate that? (Or is there an exception where if you inform your parole officer, you're a-okay?)

He’s just on probation, it’s nothing to take lightly but he’s not gonna get hauled back to WA if he skips.

 

[JuniperFalls]

Damn. Just caught up on this thread after a few days away. I hope this ticket to California is fake, because if he really did go to California, he'd probably starve to death without his Washington state EBT.

 

[Kane Lives]

Damn. Just caught up on this thread after a few days away. I hope this ticket to California is fake, because if he really did go to California, he'd probably starve to death without his Washington state EBT.

So EBT/welfare bucks are only per state?

 

[Club Sandwich]

So EBT/welfare bucks are only per state?

SSI, Social Security Income, is federally administrated by the Social Security Administration and will carry over to any and all states. however, it usually limited in many ways (maximum income, required evaluations, numerous forms of evidence of disability through no fault of your own, et c). it also has a cost of living adjustment that's done each year typically. the funds from SSI can vary from program to program that you are qualified and enrolled in: EBT is a pre-loaded debit card (more or less), Supplementary Nutritional Assistance Program is "food stamps" and will also work with any SNAP-enrolled vendor. there are many such programs, each individually evaluated for qualification and enrollment, each can be renewed or canceled independently of each other.

Washington State, as with most states, have a state-run and funded benefits program that is limited to that particular state. usually these local programs are limited in scope: applying to students, to specific areas, to specific circumstances (disaster victim relief funds), or some other local program that's locally funded. Lucas would lose access to these benefits because they will not carry over to California.

for example: California has an entirely separate state-run benefits program that he would have to individually qualify for and enroll in. some programs are state-administrated though and would require a reapplication and requalification regardless if it's a federal program or not. CalFresh is a SNAP program specific to CA that he would have to apply for separately. the WA SNAP program would be unavailable to him entirely and even if he went back to WA after visiting CA, he would still have to reapply to WA SNAP as if he's a new applicant.

his payee might also be part of a local program (most are, since they are licensed to do this sort of work through an equivalent Human Services department of the state) which means Lucas might lose access to his payee-controlled funds until he notifies the SSA of his change of address, wherein they will do an evaluation and likely demand a meeting with the SSA's local bureau for a new payee assignment at a minimum. such a meeting would also be where they would schedule an adjustment due to cost of living and maybe a complete program reapplication.

also, SSI is term-limited, unlike SSDI. SSI will consider failure to utilize or accept funds from the program to be a rejection of benefits (you don't need it anymore), and will discharge you from SSI entirely.

 

[Particle Bored]

I’m quite sure he has a state issued ID.
He needs it to purchase weed (maybe not to prove age, because he looks 60, but to prove residency for purchase quantities)
And he cashed his issued checks.

I don't know about "purchase quantities," but your dont need to be a resident to buy a joint in WA, though you do need ID to verify age.

 

[Marshal Mannerheim]

There's something of the spoiled, angry child about Lucas, isn't there? @GleamingTheQ-Bert once described this as juvenile alienation. It's not my intent to defend Myrna's parenting. She hasn't been kind to Kiwis.

Lucas's parents took him to a counselor when he was very young because his social deficits were so pronounced. They have, at various times, conditioned their aid on his participation in therapy.

Many Wernologists suspect Lucas was coddled as a child, and there are some old blog posts that support such speculation; but by the time he was an adult he was hearing "no" from his parents quite often. His mother is the one who told Lucas that fatherhood and a queefy bae weren't "in the cards." Thanks, Myrna, for producing such quality content. Lucas has complained bitterly over her lack of support and encouragement, while she's urged him to be realistic about his expectations. For example, when Lucas told her he was going to college (to be a jizz doctor, I guess) she replied that maybe given his illness, it wasn't a good idea.


While there is no evidence Lucas did the ultimate creepy uncle shit to his niece, he has said some eyebrow raising things about her. Take a peak at the tip of this iceberg:

View attachment 1797346

He's also on the record talking about how hot she is, frequently compares women he finds attractive to her, etc.


This is a fantastic idea. I declare myself a member of this board. I am also available as a thesis advisor.

The Wernerversity can offer the following degrees: AS, BS, MS, Ds.C. Wernology is a science.

The thing is that he should have been taught these things as a kid, and his parents shouldn't have waited until he reached adulthood to do something about him being a perv.

Now there is a plan for keeping the site funded: kf should start a legit diploma mill and sell wernology phds

I mean its still a more useful degree than gender studies

Why just wernology degrees? There could be one in Greerography, or a BS in CWC.

I'd like to teach a course in Moviebob Studies.

Classes will include:
• Eugenics 101
• Whining about Gamergate - how to do it constantly
• Dehumanising half the country (special guest lecturers provided)
• Super Mario - 1980 to [current year]
All offers are strictly unconditional, please note that A-level Politics and Government, Film Studies or Economics students will be at their wits' end in this course and are advised to do something more productive like pissing around in Bali for a year. Theses on ”why Anita Sarkeesian is totally going to fuck me” are recommended.

View attachment 1797592
Will he EVER stop posting the same screenshot over and over?

No, in the same way he kept thinking that saying the gamer word repeatedly would attract Generation Z women.

You should always remember that the only true reason Lucas wants to reproduce is to have a daughter he can also molest.

Anyone else getting Josef Fritzl vibes?

If he chimps out on a plane, and they have to land to get rid of him, he's doing federal time.

How long until he becomes someone's er... bride, I wonder?

LOL did lucas seriously just claim that almond roca is a local candy? ffs its sold all over the world. My mother eats that shit, personally I can't stand it. Being based somewhere doesn't make it local. By his logic coca is just a local soft drink in atlanta

and of course he 'unwinds' with food when he has no booze or drugs. I'd like to know what he 'unwinds' from exactly. All he does is wander around, make insane posts/videos and sit around a bus station, and he needs to unwind from THAT? Oh yeah, PhD material right there

But of course, this was a guy who needed drugs to unwind from cooking fries at mcdonalds on a timer and couldn't do that right

and what in the actual fuck? That looks like a legit actually paid for ticket confirmation to california. Is someone seriously catfishing him out of state, to california of all places? I mean its happened before, its how he ended up in spokane, but if he really stupid enough to go through with this? That'll fuck up his EBT and all that for at least a little while and there is no way in hell he'll get housing there. Nor will his ranting insanity and pedo behavior be tolerated. Its a whole different ballgame from washington state. That shit will get him assaulted by someone or flat out killed. Can you imagine him wandering into gang territory in LA ranting and calling himself dr nigga and talking about thick thighed black teens? He'd get his ass shot in ten seconds flat

and i'm dead serious there. LA is not a place you want to be fucking around and screeching racist and threatening shit like lucas does. Thats one of the worst places in the country he could be with that kind of behavior. If he thinks 'I was joking' or 'get away from me or i'll call the cops on you' is going to have the same effect there when he pisses off the wrong person oh boy is he in for a real big surprise

Speaking of which, there has to be some kind of liability law or something that makes deliberately catfishing a legally disabled sped across state lines into a questionable situation like that illegal to some degree. I don't think thats a line its wise to cross, especially if lucas is his usual dumbass self and ends up starving on the street after a few days or stabbed to death by some coked up hobo in the middle of the night. They have even less tolerance at shelters in places like LA than they do in places like spokane. as much as i'd love to see lucas get what he deserves for his behavior, I really don't see this ending well for the catfish when something bad inevitably happens to lucas



My money is on:
- kill it
- abandon it
- try to groom it as male bait to lure in little girls of its own age so lucas can molest them at his fartbox (if he still had one). basically a male abigail hobbs from hannibal without the cannibal stuff....though I wouldn't put that past lucas either tbh



It certainly looks legit and the confirmation was sent to his email address, not that lucas would know a real confirmation from a fake one but the sender address would give it away easy. That said, if hes stupid enough to go for it he'll likely take a bus to the airport, assuming he has any money to do so. Possibly even asking for some money to travel from his wrangler. Not that said wrangler would ever actually give him money to do that under the circumstances. They would get fired if not prosecuted when it turned out to be a catfish, let alone if something happened to him while there. Frankly I can see his wrangler calling the cops and reporting the whole thing as some kind of attempt to do him harm, if only to ensure nobody could go after the wrangler for it



More like would do federal time if he wasn't a sped. He'd get in shit to be sure (as would whoever is catfishing him there when the details started coming out of him during his interrogation given the circumstances) but the fact he's a legally recognized nutcase on a pension for being a nutcase he can hide behind the 'hes a sped who legit can't control himself and doesn't know better cause mental illness' defense and the ACLU would back it up if he ree'd about it. He'd get slapped on the wrist and warned not to get on a plane and do that again

Not that he shouldn't do federal time for it. He does know better, but he'll sure as hell pretend he doesn't when it suits him to do so to get him out of jail



....and there is definitely that as well. Ignoring the no drugs stuff is something they can look the other way on cause hes a sped. Skipping the state while on parole is not. He does know better and at some point had to have had it clearly explained to him when he was put on parole that he wasn't to leave the state without permission until his parole is over. He'll end up with a warrant on his ass the instant he gets on a plane and his name goes through the system per homeland security regulations. Getting on that plane, let alone actually successfully getting to california will fuck him so many ways he'll be utterly screwed without even realizing it until its too late. Which is exactly what he deserves. and the best part is it'll all been over a zoomer bae girlfriend that doesn't even actually exist

The only downside to it is given he'll end up with a warrant in WA I can see him getting out of being stuck in LA by ending up getting extradited back, so it would be the taxpayers inadvertently getting him out of that situation. He'd still do some jail time but still

and from the look of the chat updates, he is actually going for it. could this be our christmas miracle of wernology? cause seeing him fuck himself royally while being totally ignorant of anything bad about to happen to him and beaming with anticipation until everything does a 180 on him and leaves him with warrants, no tugboat, money, housing and alone in a city he's never set foot in before with no way to get back on his own will be a true festivus miracle

Also fucking LOL at lucas referring to spokane as 'its a horrible place filled with liars' as he is talking about going to LA. Fucking L-O-Fucking-L at that one. Lucas is truly an idiot

The LA saga should be interesting.

Santa Ana is pretty moderate compared to most of CA - OC is a red county, politically speaking. consider this: good ol boys in Santa Ana regularly beat up/threaten Latin Kings and MS13 gang members and openly support right wing stuff (which i'm sure would result in some interesting hobo walks), with local LEO telling unwanted persons to "keep on walking". it's a very big "small town" if that makes sense. Sheriff Barnes (funny guy btw, very sardonic witty humor) basically told the Gov Newsome to pound sand and his orders had no weight in his county.

you also get stuff like this because LEOs are constrained by libby policies that bankrupt the state, so people take into their own hands:
View attachment 1797850
while the guy is from Albany (supposedly as he's still awaiting trial i think), you tend to get some real interesting responses to "free loaders" in CA.

Things I never expected to say:
Based Cali.

Spoiler: hmmm

maybe... i've seen the aftermath of OC county locals take the fight to the cartels and some Africa-tier executions and "warnings" posted on known smuggling routes. it wouldn't end well if Lucas is caught stealing from a rancher or crosses the wrong gang territory or pisses off the local homeless or LEO or some connected Somebody with influence.

there's something like 30-40 active gangs in the LA/OC area, most of which are only tenuously polite with each other.

Lucas would honestly probably be okay since he's a meek nobody, but it's more his walking around or hanging out at the wrong bus station or whatever that might raise his profile.

Either way, the California saga should be interesting.

Well then, this should be quite the interesting situation. Barring him somehow being unable to get to the airport it appears he is serious about going for it. I suspect that means this thread is going to get interesting real soon. Lucas deserves his own lemmiwinks style theme song for this one. I mean first he was catfished to another city, now its another state. Whats next? Catfish him to another country? I'm sure he would just love being catfished to, say, northern canada. Nunavut is quite unpleasant this time of year.....or any time of year for that matter. and cases of pepsi go for upwards of $60 at times. Which shows you just how expensive living in a frozen shithole thousands of miles from a civilized city is. Perhaps the yukon instead, by some zoomer bae that convinces him he can pan for gold and become rich like they did in the 1890s. I can totally see ragman lucas knee deep in a river with his backpack on, hunched over fucking with a gold pan dreaming of all the zoomer baes he'll get when he starts hauling out the gold, getting ever more frustrated that he isn't pulling huge nuggets out of the water until he loses his shit and throws it, losing his balance and ending up falling into the river and getting totally soaked in the attempt. He would end up in an irl version of that showdown at williams creek movie and get fucked over by the same guy over and over again until lucas finally loses it and goes batshit on him (good movie btw if you haven't seen it its on youtube and worth a watch)

I'm not a Canuckistani but I don't think Canadian Natives, who are the majority in Nunavut and a sizable minority in the Yukon and Northwest Territories, would take kindly to a racist perv. Besides, don't they have special rights to bear arms because of treaties?

Not to mention that he'd probably freeze to death in Whitehorse or Iqaluit.

 

[Krathnami]

Can Lucas even be relied upon to make it to the airport in time to make his flight? Imagine it now: he gets up early, dressed to the nines in his best XXL shelter handout shirt and ripped jeans, his worldly possessions stuffed with no real care in his moldy backpack, and gets on the bus to the airport. The whole ride over thoughts of a future with his zoomer bae soon-to-be wife/mommy/breeding slave fill his thoughts. He imagines seeing her for the first time at the airport and saying, “Hi, I’m Lucas. How are you?” And then he misses his fucking flight. The chimp out that ensues might be enough to send him over the deep end for good, because TSA will not put up with his bullshit antics for one second.

 

[LightEmittingDiode]

I hope the flight is real and someone just had $100 spare. The thought of Lucas dressed to the nines in his rancid button down shirt flapping open at the chest and a pair of stained sweatpants, clutching a fetid duffle bag while eagerly looking around the airport terminal for his queefy bae is hilarious.

 

[mothman96]

I just checked his Disorderly Conduct court case. There was an order of dismissal issued on 12/07/2020. His remaining 3 court appearances 12/15, 12/29, 01/12/2021 show cancelled. looks like he's "free" to get on the plane and move to California.

 

[TGG]

He found us. Probably a "self-google."

 

[ThomasAudley]

When he got cited for trespassing in the park the second time he presented a WA state ID with the address listed as Eastern Hospital. Assuming he hasn’t lost that, he’ll use that to board the flight.

Since Lucas has been in downtown Spokane for 5 years now, I think it’s a strong theory that he will never leave the Santa Ana bus station. However he is in downtown Spokane because that’s where the homeless resources are. OC probably lacks in those, and Skid Row is where al the shelters are concentrated. Lucas is a lazy mooch and will seek out free services, so I don’t see homeless beach bum saga happening. If he gets on the flight we’re in for an awesome 2021. If he misses his flight we’re gonna get some good chimp out videos. Either way I am highly optimistic about this development.

 

[Da Dude123]

Lucas is so exceptional and I do believe autistic. He will sometimes say things like "show me evidence" and he will mention video chats for prospective baes. But when a catfish swims up to him, that all goes away and he believes every word of it, every single time! He disregards every other time he has been duped and goes right in full steam ahead.

He sees this stuff and thinks "Moooo! A queefy bae! We're gonna live together! I am sooo there!" And of course, he never thinks about how he will transfer his precious tugboat and food stamp money to a new state. Oh, no. Someone will just do that for him. He is after all, special and entitled. That will all just work itself out.

I am sure he has never spoke to this person on the phone or video chatted or anything. Just believes that this Gen Z bae wants to house him and take care of him. It's unreal how dense he is. A true lolcow through and through!

 

[Stafford Beer Bong]

I leave the thread for a day then this happens!

Just to reinforce what’s already been said, if he does end up in So Cal he will be eaten alive. To quote his text:

“There’s nothing, but haters in Spokane.” “It’s a horrible place filled with liars.”

As opposed to L.A.?

 

[Fanatical Pragmatist]

Also, lots of cute zoomers at airports.

I hope the flight is real and someone just had $100 spare. The thought of Lucas dressed to the nines in his rancid button down shirt flapping open at the chest and a pair of stained sweatpants, clutching a fetid duffle bag while eagerly looking around the airport terminal for his queefy bae is hilarious.

Imagine being the poor girl stuck on airport rail car transportation next to the stinking, rotting, 300lb hobo who want's to talk to you about his magical sperm that cures COVID.

Spoiler: personal story

I was once riding the rail between terminals at DFW and I shit you not this lvl80 neckbeard boards and takes his place next-to but also just behind this younger(ish)-looking flight attendant, and is loudly breathing while staring at the back/side of her head.
As soon as it gets to her terminal, that FA was the first one of the tram, never seen a woman in heels move so fast, while dumpy just starts looking around at everyone else on the tram.

I imagine Lucas doing much the same, only with telomere talk

 

[King Daddy Telomerase]

View attachment 1797836View attachment 1797837View attachment 1797838View attachment 1797839

Is there more on this Mia? I'm curious because she's sounds very similar to a thot on Youtube that has a long history with baiting incels.

 

[Pump Meat]

I am sure he has never spoke to this person on the phone or video chatted or anything. Just believes that this Gen Z bae wants to house him and take care of him. It's unreal how dense he is. A true lolcow through and through!

I'm of the opinion this is due to his narcissism. He truly believes that he is this handsome, intelligent, and urbane individual who is living a bohemian lifestyle out of principle and thus a highly desirable person. Lucas uses various groups and social maladies to explain the fact he is essentially invisible to the opposite sex: Republicans, cock-blockers, flatbills, agephobia, classism, etc. His entitlement is so overwhelming that it essentially disables any critical awareness a person might otherwise have about being approached like this, I imagine he must feel something along the lines of "At last! I'm getting what is owed to me" and in a way he is getting just that, but not in a manner he desires.

I'm pretty grateful for his narcissism because it not only makes him wildly entertaining, but also keeps him harmless. I totally agree with @Jeremiah the Bullfrog that Lucas is a dangerous individual or in the very least has real potential to be one; the narcissism keeps him passively waiting for his nubile teen wives to show up for their appointed destiny as sexual chattel. If he had a real understanding of his situation and could correctly perceive his condition, he'd find ways to simply take what he obsesses over and ultimately assault some female teenager.

 

[wenttobermuda]

It seems someone has decided that it would be amusing to lure a retard to a strange city. Once upon a time, Lucas boarded a bus headed for Coeur d'Alene. He was tired of all the mean people in Olympia, and ready to start fresh in a new city with a totally hot Millennial bitch who had invited him to stay with her and torture her butthole. This is how Lucas ended up in Spokane...

I've lost interest in the ethics of laughing at retards.

Once upon a time, Lucas boarded a plane for California....Lucas is going to get on that plane, isn't he? Perhaps he'll be saved by his incompetence. Unable to get his shit together, he may miss his flight.

Lucas is not going to enjoy California.

THE Wern was last online 21hrs ago.
View attachment 1797492

Whether it's because he doesn't have a lot of phone charging options, ran out of phone data and need to use Wifi or he decided to back off of the internet for a while, he's very not active. My guess is that he's taking a break: he always checks the latest videos about him on YouTube and now that there's a little more than usual it must be distressing for him. He's not in control of the comments like Klickitat pointed.

If he were to completely stop posting the thread would slow down and after a year I'm sure it would be completely dead. What do you guys think would happen to the thread if he were to disappear for good?

Lucas's legacy is secure. If he were to die tomorrow, he would leave behind a body of work that will puzzle a few autistic Wernologists for years to come.

As for this thread, who cares? It's chief value is as an archive of Lucas's most interesting moments. The library of things Lucas would like forgotten. The social aspect of this thread isn't unimportant, though. Being mocked is one thing. But, as Lucas knows, being mocked in front of an audience is something else entirely. It's the difference between Bill calling you a fat faggot, and Bill calling you a fat faggot on the playground while all the pretty girls point and laugh. It's why Lucas hates YouTube comments. Not only can he not control the narrative, but it feels like people are ganging up on him, and he hates that feeling however familiar with it he is.

 

[AbraCadaver]

View attachment 1796212

I might be late to notice this idk but awww no more Dr. Nigga? Guess throwing a tantrum and saying bad words doesn't earn you pussy after all.

It’s They Might Be Giants time!

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=bTxXVhdmdZc

Some day somebody else besides me will
Call me by my stage name, they will
Call me Dr. Wern
Good Morning how are you, I'm Dr. Wern
I'm interested in things
I'm not a real doctor
But I am a real worm
I am an actual worm
I live like a worm

This was brilliantly postulated. The idea that he looks for universality, and when things aren't that simple, he gets furious at the complication, it's so very true.

Of course, it doesn't seem to bother him that he himself can't live up to the black and white morality that he presents, for example saying that only young horrible gen Z guys say the N word and call women bitches, and then going on rants where he quite literally uses the word bitch and the n-word more than any other human that I've ever heard. There was an exchange with Goldie in which, and I'm serious about this, he said the word b**** 20 times in less than a minute. He was discussing his bete noire du jour Walter Fate, but I wonder if Lucas himself understands that the biggest bitch in the world of Wernology, the biggest baby bitch boy in all of this, is none other than Lucas Colby Werner himself.

But people never hold Lucas to expectations vis-a-vis his OWN lack of consistency, and I'm not even sure if it would be possible to do so.

If there was ever another interview with Lucas, I would want someone to ask him in detail how he knows that people walking in public are in sexual relationships.

When Goldie tried to ask him about this, he started to explain that he saw the people and they were blushing, and unfortunately then the discussion deviated to something else after that.

I would have liked a more extensive thorough questioning about how blushing equals sexual activity, if Lucas thinks that everyone can tell that this blushing = sexual activity, is this some power that only he himself has, to divine sexual activity from the redness of someone's cheeks?

I wonder if any of the therapist who dealt with Lucas had ever really tried to prod at the foundations of some of his unreasonable thinking in this way, to reveal the lack of consistency to these Universal ideas.

I imagine he would just get furious and start screaming "move on!" But it would nonetheless be interesting to see it tried.

I think Lucas get furious about things not being universal because he struggles so hard to understand the “rules” of how normal people work, and he needs universal constants about people to be true, or he totally loses the ability to predict how ppl will act, or interact with them in any sensible way.

He had to be TAUGHT to say “later” and “see ya” when leaving another person’s presence. He admits as a kid, even as a teen, he had no idea what to say to girls besides “hi” and “I love you.” He’s retarded as fuck and doesn’t understand the “script” normal people use.

He’s like an alien being told what certain words in our language mean...but then we introduce subtle, confounding nuances that he doesn’t comprehend, like “not all young men are flatbill bigots” and “not all 18-24 year old women care about having babies”, and he loses his temper because you keep changing things around and he can’t keep a handle on it. He just learned the rules and now you’re changing the rules!

The world is a fucking baffling, confusing, contradictory place for Lucas, because his brain is swiss cheese and has been since birth. He’s deaf man with one eye trying to function in a world made entirely of supersighted, super-hearing endowed psychics.
Which is why nature decrees he will never reproduce. The human race would only suffer if his fucked-up, defective DNA polluted the gene pool.

 

[Marshal Mannerheim]

Is there more on this Mia? I'm curious because she's sounds very similar to a thot on Youtube that has a long history with baiting incels.

Whoever she is, I wish her the best of luck.

 

[Pump Meat]

Do you guys think the secondary motivation for flying to SoCal is the weather? Might be a clue that he is finally recognizing he is out of options in Spokane.