Cooking with Kat (and DSP) thread

[BT9494]

what the fuck is gourmet chinese food? Like a decent chinese place above panda express quality isn't gourmet its just chinese food.

 

[Flavius Anthemius]

View attachment 1804911

Devour, DEVOUR!

 

[TheGoutburglar]

The fact that just writing down a list isn't an option in Phil's mind tells me that grocery shopping for him is far more about indulging his mommy issues and craving for impulse buying than it is about gathering food. He may be an idiot who doesn't think of things, but he also has certain... needs, shall we say, that utterly rule him.

We know it isn't about getting out of the Grifter's Keep, because if it was, he would be spending his offline hours outside instead of lounging about playing gacha. He clearly doesn't value anything normal.

 

[UncleTusky]

"She wouldn't know what to get!"

First, Kat does all the cooking. She would know what she needs to buy to make dinner. They've been living together almost three years. She would know what Phil likes.

Yeah but she's still not very good at it. On a good night it's solid but unremarkable Midwestern comfort food, more often it's something frozen/boil in bag. My guess is that Phil had much higher expectations for her cooking when she first moved in and he's just salty that she's been a complete dud there.

The fact that just writing down a list isn't an option in Phil's mind tells me that grocery shopping for him is far more about indulging his mommy issues and craving for impulse buying than it is about gathering food. He may be an idiot who doesn't think of things, but he also has certain... needs, shall we say, that utterly rule him.

We know it isn't about getting out of the Grifter's Keep, because if it was, he would be spending his offline hours outside instead of lounging about playing gacha. He clearly doesn't value anything normal.

I think there's a pic of it somewhere in the main thread but he literally has a calendar to plan out his dinners for the week. To answer your first comment I agree that doing the shopping with Kat is part of his weird unresolved mommy issues but I think wanting that level of control over his pig slop is more about his autism + control freak tendencies than anything else. I'm also skeptical he impulse buys anything besides frozen food because that's literally all he can make.

 

[TheGoutburglar]

I was referring more to stuff like bags of Fritos, Cheez-Its, and Nutter Butters. Stuff he doesn't even have to stick in a microwave, and doesn't know he wants until he sees it on the shelf.

I refuse to believe that a calendar with meals written on it represents the entirety of what that lying asshole eats.

 

[Phil Ken Sebben]

I'm also skeptical he impulse buys anything besides frozen food because that's literally all he can make.

That's 100% a lie. We all know that Phil is a gourmet chef who makes authentic Italian sugar sauce with burned meatballs every few months. You're just jealous that Phil has a real adult house with a real adult horse for a wife and real adult cat like a real adult does.

 

[Muppetmode]

The precooked ribs now count as a home made meal

 

[TheGoutburglar]

Just like how bathing twice a week counts as being hygienic.

 

[tzgnilki]

I wonder if the paper plates, cherry juice and gummy bear vitamin will make a return in today's christmas dinner instagram post

 

[OverlySensitive]

I feel pity for both of them. Imagine being in your 30's Phil pushing 40, and neither of them are able to do anything more than reheat pre cooked pre packaged food. It's just pathetic and depressing.

Phil couldn't even operate a can opener to make a simple can of Campbell's tomato soup (pretty sure they have pop top too) that he had to go order a cup of it and a grilled cheese from a take out place for dinner when it was his once a year turn to cook.

I don't blame her for reheating crap food most chicks like her think stove top stuffing and potato flakes is homemade since they weren't exposed to normal family meals growing up.

 

[Sparkletor 2.0]

Did you guys see his reaction to eating the mince pie? He loved it. His eyes lit up, he was smiling and laughing. He was in hog heaven.

Now compare that to how he acted eating Kat's cake. This was a completely fake reaction. He looked reluctant to take another bite. He wasn't smiling, he was grimacing like he was eating a mouthful of sand. He quickly had to rinse the taste out of his mouth with water.

We have video evidence of Phil's reaction to eating something he really likes. This proves Kat's cake was trash.

DEBUNKED

 

[tzgnilki]

with no flexing on instagram, we can only assume khet burnt the pre-made ribs

 

[UncleTusky]

Swiped from the main thread:

First, a flex that's weird even by Phil standards:

And now some fieldwork by an Elite Field Autist for why it wasn't Instaspammed: This serious mature adult ordered Ihop delivery on Christmas Day!

Well, coincidentally I-hop serve the exact same thing on the menu, called ''Create your own combo''

Luckily for Phil that his breakfast is home made, because breakfast for two, with coffee would have set him back nearly $30

View attachment 1811144

So I dont know how much Doordash charge Stateside, but if you include tips for the driver, because that helps them the most, there is no way Phil just blew $40 on one meal when he cant afford groceries or eat a Calender for breakfast...

EDIT spelling

Phil since you're probably reading this: Just because you don't Instaspam it doesn't mean you're safe from our autism.

EDIT:

Now compare that to how he acted eating Kat's cake. This was a completely fake reaction. He looked reluctant to take another bite. He wasn't smiling, he was grimacing like he was eating a mouthful of sand. He quickly had to rinse the taste out of his mouth with water.

We have video evidence of Phil's reaction to eating something he really likes. This proves Kat's cake was trash.

I can't prove it but I think Phil may be diabetic or pre-diabetic and that would also explain it. Other than when Kat first moved in and was making baked goods once / week (+ or -) he's never really talked about liking sweets - tons of unhealthy and low quality stuff like frozen meals or Taco Bell but never pies or cakes. This leaves us two explanations, either he's proactively exercising good judgment + impulse control or he's avoiding that stuff because he knows it'll trigger his beetus. I know which one I'm betting on

 

[DeeTracktor]

I often tweet on Boxing Day to breakfast flex on my parents because I only got a Calender for Christmas

 

[tzgnilki]

Swiped from the main thread:

First, a flex that's weird even by Phil standards:

And now some fieldwork by an Elite Field Autist for why it wasn't Instaspammed: This serious mature adult ordered Ihop delivery on Christmas Day!



Phil since you're probably reading this: Just because you don't Instaspam it doesn't mean you're safe from our autism.

EDIT:




I can't prove it but I think Phil may be diabetic or pre-diabetic and that would also explain it. Other than when Kat first moved in and was making baked goods once / week (+ or -) he's never really talked about liking sweets - tons of unhealthy and low quality stuff like frozen meals or Taco Bell but never pies or cakes. This leaves us two explanations, either he's proactively exercising good judgment + impulse control or he's avoiding that stuff because he knows it'll trigger his beetus. I know which one I'm betting on

i'd like to knows what phil's definition of "home made" is, food that made it into the home?

reminder that they usually order take-out when khet burns shit

 

[Big Brown Schlub]

i'd like to knows what phil's definition of "home made" is, food that made it into the home?

reminder that they usually order take-out when khet burns shit

In this case it seems to be a cope and a pathetic attempt to seemingly flex on his parents? But otherwise yeah, he has a very loose definition of what home-made is. From what I gather if a food item is on a food preparation device for even a second it turns home-made. Disgusting pre-cooked and flash-frozen QVC turkey and ham? Since him or Khet put it in the microwave, which is in their home, it is now "home-made".

Similar terms that have my mind spinning in circles is "custom-made". What did he mean by this? Custom-made as in he made it according to custom? Custom made as in he made from scratch? For which there already is a term which is HOME-MADE. Custom-made as in he added 3 pounds of sugar to the regular recipe and now he acts like he created a whole new gourmet dish like he's a Michelin star chef?

Speaking of gourmet, "gourmet-style". He called the Chinese restaurant he ate at "gourmet-style". What the fuck does that mean? Is it a restaurant which is in a fusion style, namely combining European gourmet food and Chinese cuisine? Or, more likely, does he think any restaurant that isn't fast food is "gourmet-style"?
So many questions, so little answers.

 

[KKKrèmebrûlée]

I can't prove it but I think Phil may be diabetic or pre-diabetic and that would also explain it. Other than when Kat first moved in and was making baked goods once / week (+ or -) he's never really talked about liking sweets - tons of unhealthy and low quality stuff like frozen meals or Taco Bell but never pies or cakes. This leaves us two explanations, either he's proactively exercising good judgment + impulse control or he's avoiding that stuff because he knows it'll trigger his beetus. I know which one I'm betting on

He's mentioned multiple times that he loves Costco muffins and eats them for breakfast pretty often. And those muffins are loaded with sugar, and I'm guessing he doesn't just eat one of them.

 

[TheGoutburglar]

Phil is more than likely diabetic, anything unhealthy he doesn't talk about eating is because he eats a lot of it.

 

[Prince Lotor]

Swiped from the main thread:

First, a flex that's weird even by Phil standards:

And now some fieldwork by an Elite Field Autist for why it wasn't Instaspammed: This serious mature adult ordered Ihop delivery on Christmas Day!



Phil since you're probably reading this: Just because you don't Instaspam it doesn't mean you're safe from our autism.

EDIT:




I can't prove it but I think Phil may be diabetic or pre-diabetic and that would also explain it. Other than when Kat first moved in and was making baked goods once / week (+ or -) he's never really talked about liking sweets - tons of unhealthy and low quality stuff like frozen meals or Taco Bell but never pies or cakes. This leaves us two explanations, either he's proactively exercising good judgment + impulse control or he's avoiding that stuff because he knows it'll trigger his beetus. I know which one I'm betting on

Now that I think about it there's no way either of those two retards successfully made scrambled eggs.

 

[OverlySensitive]

I can't prove it but I think Phil may be diabetic or pre-diabetic and that would also explain it. Other than when Kat first moved in and was making baked goods once / week (+ or -) he's never really talked about liking sweets - tons of unhealthy and low quality stuff like frozen meals or Taco Bell but never pies or cakes. This leaves us two explanations, either he's proactively exercising good judgment + impulse control or he's avoiding that stuff because he knows it'll trigger his beetus. I know which one I'm betting on

I'm pretty sure he is diabetic given his size and lack of movement. He probably has some liver issues too since he has the "spotting"....and to top it all off, if his constant ear infections are to be believed, with his gout helping reinforce my belief alongside his skull shape, I think he needs a drainage shunt of some kind.
He has some kind of lil person dysmorphia going on.