- Joined
- Sep 22, 2019
Yeah I'm not buying any of this story. His hallucinations must be getting to him. Or more plausibly, he's blowing some innocuous talk way out of proportion to its importance.
Or all of the above.
Or all of the above.
Horrorcow Lucas Werner - A man of Spokane, Washington who is obsessed with millennial and Gen Z chicks
- Thread starter SpacePanther
- Start date
In that flank steak video it showed what looked like a woman's arms so I think there is a woman but as to the rest lies/delusions- I'm going with @Kane Lives
- Joined
- Dec 1, 2019
I believe there's a woman at the shelter that probably puts up with his awkward small talk to get free food, snacks, and drinks from him but that everything else is just the fantasy life with her he's made up because she's the first woman to give him the time of day in almost a decade and he can prove she's not a catfish because she's right in front of him.
Trouble is he's too stupid to realize when someone is being "nice" because they want free shit.
He also is still hilariously mistaking people openly mocking him as affectionate friendship.
These people all know he's slow, it's obvious he's slow if you ever watch him, and they know he's desperate for friends and will give them food, drinks, snacks, money, whatever, and all they have to do is barely tolerate him for him to misinterpret it as affection, friendship, or love.
Edit: It's late and if he puts up any more burnt ass nasty food videos tonight, I'll get them tomorrow. Got everything up to the incinerated scallops.
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another idiot
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Apr 15, 2020
I think she does exist but Lucas has never talked to her or done anything more than dumped some leftovers near her when she was sleeping. Everything else is his imagination.
Burnt bagel chips with cheese in the restroom.
- Joined
- Dec 1, 2019
Oh god, they're bagel chips? I thought they were horribly burnt scallops!
Burnt bagel chips aren't much better, but still...
Video will be here when it finishes uploading and processing. It's 1 in the goddamned morning and I have work,,,uh, today, I guess, so I'm going to bed.
WonderWino
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Dec 17, 2019
That has to be the single worst flex i've ever seen. Those things are already baked and what does he do? Puts them into the oven to burn the fuck out of them. How stupid does a person have to be not to expect that to happen?!
and that isn't even getting into the sheer amount of food he's eaten today. Thats the third video involving food today and thats just the food he himself made and bothered to record. That isn't even counting the meals he got from the shelter today. What a gluttonous pig
This is the cheese he used. It says to serve " Warm in oven, microwave or skillet until it glistens; cut into strips and serve as an appetizer with salsa or savory chips.
He burned the hell out of it. lol.
- Joined
- Dec 28, 2014
This is not a melting cheese. It will not melt in a toaster oven. What an absolute moron.
WonderWino
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Dec 17, 2019
Took the words right out of my mouth. The self styled gourmet doesn't even understand what kind of cheese he bought even when there are instructions written on the package
Now, someone needs to get him a big block of D ration army chocolate. I'd love to see him gnaw on a block of that like a rat and try to melt it over some horrifying concoction he comes up with
For those who don't know, D ration chocolate is specifically designed not to melt at high temperatures so it can be used as an emergency field ration. The stuff is so hard soldiers shaved slices off of it with knives before being able to eat it. Its also designed to taste about on par with a boiled potatoe so people won't be tempted to eat it until they have to
- Joined
- Jun 19, 2019
So is it like a calorie mate?
Stop the presses-Lucas didn't like the cheese.
Burning it must have done a hell of a job on it. And what does not liking the cheese have to do with his "fully realized" baked sweet pickles.
ETA:
What real friends are homies with the hookup? Shareef and the other homeless in the shelter he shares food/weed with?
Burning it must have done a hell of a job on it. And what does not liking the cheese have to do with his "fully realized" baked sweet pickles.
ETA:
What real friends are homies with the hookup? Shareef and the other homeless in the shelter he shares food/weed with?
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WonderWino
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Dec 17, 2019
'The pickles have been fully realized' is my new favorite wern quote
and as predicted the cheese went all fucked up in the toaster oven, and he still thinks its the cheese itself and not what he did with it that made it terrible. Lacking in flavor and dry. He even says it and it never computes in his lizard brain that not all cheeses melt the same way
That said, its funny how he doesn't mention those horrifying olives at all
dirtydeanna96
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Jun 16, 2018
What place do you live, where men use shady tactics to have sex and entrap women?
Move away from this place, it's not healthy.
(I mean this as a physical place, a online community, or just your worldview)
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- Joined
- Jun 9, 2016
i mean, that's a fairly common Mediterranean thing: pounded flank steak tenderized with some herbs and spices, with feta, spinach, roasted tomatoes, mozzarella/feta/bleu cheeses, onions, and pepper rolled and tied together like you would a ham hock or filleted steak et c. then baked and seared. i often serve with a side of dirty rice or pilaf.
it requires some careful cooking (or just cook it twice) and it's meant to come out like this:
i guarantee you that Lucas' bizarre food combos are foul - but it seems that's when he's left to his own devices. when he's influenced by others, or the perception that others are watching him make something, it seems that instead of popcorn paste abortions, he tries to impress people with his "gourmet haute cuisine" from the ingredients to the presentation.
he's just woefully inept at it.
also is taking food and the dip pan into the bathroom a regular thing now? so many bizarre and often unsanitary habits.
i've eaten D rat choco bricks and it has the rough flavor of the nestle chocolate powder you use to make cheap chocolate milk. except it's just the powder itself. also it's not sweetened. you are meant to break off a piece and let it melt/chew on it over time. it also contained various vitamin infusions which made it burn rather than melt due to the high temperature requirements. it was popular to add salt to it and boil it into water, which was fairly decent all things considered.
after the 90's the jungle bar (congo bar?) was made and was much more fudge like, but extremely chewy. you could literally loose a tooth if you just bit into it hard enough and tried to yank the bar free.
Juusto (Juustoleipa) is a Finnish cheese made from rich milk from reindeer, cows, and some others - it tends to burn not melt despite the fat content (12%) because it's often sold as a dried cheese. it's best for warming and softening and placing onto a burger or shredded into salad or on toasted buttery bread.
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neutral grandpa
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Jun 14, 2020
whats with the "Capitalism kills 100 million people every 5 years" thing lucas keeps going on about? Is that something lucas made up or an actual bullshit take he copied from
- Joined
- Aug 9, 2020
- Joined
- Oct 27, 2018
I think he is describing himself!
- Joined
- Jan 3, 2019
I'm still few pages back, so apologies if it's been said, but I'm gonna suggest a couple things. First, hasnt lucas became annoyed with Isik due to Isik being "not so friendly" behind lukes back? With that being said, I wonder if he paid Isik to come maybe show his ass a little in front of Dorothy, so that lucas could be the big dom male he knows he is. That or maybe he gave Isik some $ and pointed him in the direction of the closest crack dealer and then hauled ass in to tattle on Isik to get him in trouble/kicked out, for being "less then savory" behind Lucas' back?
Edit - typos.
Edit - typos.
- Joined
- Feb 12, 2019
Too complicated of a setup for him. This is a man that can't buy himself thick socks in the winter.
The story is highly edited or just plain didn't happen at all.