He also posted to my profile, asking what he'd lied about. I was very tempted to respond "What have you
not lied about?" but shit, lying about being a successful rapist in the middle of an interview in an attempt to scare a woman on
another continent, when he hasn't got the money to fly across the ocean (and neither do I, but he's been made aware that if I
did, I'd be visiting a country where some of my ancestors lived, and his isn't on the list) kind of takes the cake for "Worst Prior Planning of Effect of a Lie." I was meant to be scared but was more like "Get tae fuck wi ye" as far as completing his wiki edits. (What? I'm trans-Glaswegian. It only affects me when I really need to swear.) The one about having a dog wins for "Most Depressing Lie." Because if I can't have a dog, and I cannot because my landlord is a dick instead of being my parents, then maybe
somebody could have a dog. But there is no dog. Anyway, you see the problem: he does it so compulsively and reflexively, guarding a horribly damaged sense of self, that you could make an entire annual award ceremony with different categories for the lies presented over two-and-change threads.
@Holden, something happened to you before you were even old enough to be interested in girls. Something convinced you that you weren't worthy of love. That's why it freaked you out so much to get a positive response on a text dating service that you screamed and threw your cellie under the couch. I'm not going to ask what it was in public. If you ever want to tell me, send me a PM. There is quite a lot you've said to me that's gone unshared, which is to be expected when
one thread of PMs from you in my inbox is now
eight pages long. I have no energy to screencap all that. Anyway, I hope you understand that I get to have my own opinions, and one of those is that if you went to a therapist (not the same one who... you know) and said firmly, "Doctor, my trauma is this, and that led to these other upsetting events. Please help me get past them and lead a productive life," you could. It would take time, effort, and pain. But when a question about what your favorite parks, sports, etc. might be leads to the agonized statement, "I don't like speaking about myself," I know the trauma is something early and deep. Whatever it was, I am sorry about it and hope you can break out of these repetitive thought patterns about how all women, etc. etc.
I don't quite have trust issues to the extent of wanting to lock Mr. Horse in a rather tall cage, but I have issues; they exist; they are taking work to get rid of; and I do it because I'm trying to make my life better from the inside out. I think many of us here have reached out for help at one time or another. Many of us also have what you want, namely productive and permanent relationships with no cheating, no hurting the other person, and all that.
@The Dude has kids, as do others.
It is not easy. I'm not lying when I tell you it's possible, so I'm going to continue not lying: relationships are difficult. It's not just coming home from the office, taking off your tie/bra/whatever, and having your spouse pour you a martini. And here's the kicker: the best relationships are those in which each participant has some amount of love for themselves. I hope you get to that point, man. It's better to have three people really care about you than ten thousand people know who you are but think you're a dick because all they see are your defense mechanisms. Try for the first one. The second one is working out poorly.
