Off-Topic Losing people to transgenderism support thread - Support group for trans widows and other people who lost loved ones to troonism

[AMHOLIO]

Note: if your friend or loved one transitioned and stayed the same cool person and are chill with themselves and you, more power to both you and them. This is for coping with people who destructively transitioned.



Inspired by post in the trans mega thread, this thread is to complain & cope with losing loved ones to transitioning, as well ask ask for advice on how to handle them. I'll share mine to get the thread started.


I shared my story before: my good friend decided to become they them after graduating college. Said they were thinking about it the whole time they were going through game development school, and were happier being reffered to by they or he. This kinda came out of nowhere: she was always liberal and supportive, but she never really mentioned her gender much. Two years later she moved to another city with a few game dev friends, and over the course of 2020, decided to get hormone treatment in spite of saying a year before she didn't want the side effects of body hair all over, just a deeper voice and a more androgynous appearance. She also joined antifa as a medic. I have a feeling she was aimless after college and felt trapped and insecure, and disillusioned with her career path, so she decided to transition because it seemed like it would make her happy. She doesn't have any long term goals after transitioning and I fear that once she finishes, she'll be even more depressed and empty. She struggles with anxiety, depression, and adhd and I feel like that fueled some of the disconnect. After getting her first shot of T she went into a 2 month period of not taking care of herself, but is slowly going back to it. Her friends are mostly queer genderspecials, so I'm alone and too far to help break her out of it. I wish I knew how to stop worrying about her, but I find myself checking on her every month or so. Losing someone while they're still alive is hard to do.

Feel free to share your stories, coping strategies, and advice to others. I asked before and just shared my story to get the waters warm. It can be an IRL person or an internet friend, anyone is allowed.

 

[Spasticus Autisticus]

I had a childhood friend go trans. He (biological male, going to use male pronouns in this post for sake of clarity) was a pretty smart and friendly kid, though socially awkward and didn't have much of a filter. He was nice enough to be part of our friend circle, but his weirdness made it so he was always kind of on the periphery of it. It didn't help that he was a lot smaller than other boys his age, to the point where I suspect he had some kind of health condition. I moved away just before high school but kept in touch on social media. After high school he joined the military, did one tour of duty and then went to a low-tier college in an ultra-left small town. Then after graduating he suddenly (at least from my perspective) came out as trans. I have no idea what's happened with him since then, since he was never very prolific on social media and I've since quit social media. I hope he's alright. Unrelated, but at about the same time he went trans, I found out that another friend from that same group died of a heroin/fentanyl overdose.

 

[AMHOLIO]

After high school he joined the military, did one tour of duty and then went to a low-tier college in an ultra-left small town.

I know there's a number of men who troon out after the military, a few posters talk about how they think its because they join the army to make themselves better at being a man, but it doesn't work since its just how they are. Considering the other factors though, he seemed to be at risk anyway thanks to his social awkwardness and the ultra lefty setting. I'm surrounded by leftist myself but most of them are within reason, it sucks that a lot of areas go above and beyond with it.

, but at about the same time he went trans, I found out that another friend from that same group died of a heroin/fentanyl overdose.

Ouch. That's rough to lose someone so young . With your trans friend he theoretically can withdraw from it one day, your other friend can't go back now. I hope you get closure and support for both.

 

[Lemmingwise]

I haven't lost anyone. I prevented one friend from transitioning. But I used to know a lot of people in various stages of transition. Only one really seemed happy with it all to me, a black dragqueen in brazil that was transitioning. The majority were either massively depressed, or scary in a micheal jackson kinda way without any of the childlike innocence.

I also worked on a movie with one of the wachowskis. I just thought it was a mad tranny. Didn't figure until later it was a wachowski.

 

[Jabroni]

it's less direct but two decent people I knew for a while went full troon. I only really knew them from mutual friends but they seemed like alright people but it turns out they were both dating and feeding off each others degeneracy. The guy became a girl and the girl became a guy, both big ugly dykes though. Recently found out that they're into ABDL and the daddy/little thing.

I would say I regret meeting them but it was pretty interesting to watch how normal nerdy outcasts go full tranny.

 

[Kuchipatchi]

I have a cousin who trooned out (FtM), I bickered with other family members about it and the troon's mum hardly spoke to the rest of the family since.
It's like the troon out affected other people rather than my cousin. It's strange.
Not saying that my argument is the sole cause, something else must have happened too but I don't know. I did apologise for my words.

 

[Popoto]

I don't have any lesbian friends anymore. My last lesbian friend identified first as queer, then nonbinary, and now wants a double mastectomy.

She's drunk the GenderCult's troonaid. She now tries to date men and claims she wants heterosexual sex and this is supposed to be validating.

She now won't speak to me because I pointed out a pozzed as fuck fb dating group with "Sapphic" in the name cannot possibly be made of lesbians.

The last time we talked was her basically shutting me down after I told her it is a bad idea to buy a car when you cannot legally drive it (she plans to take her drivers test at the end of this year).

It is clear she uses the same cult framework for everything in life: how dare I be negative when all she is trying to do is better herself.

I think I am going to walk away from it. It is too exhausting.

 

[Swerf'n'Terf]

@Aaa0aaa0, glad you made this. I'm just dropping a couple of links.

Trans Widows Voices is a site that compiles user stories of their partner trooning out. It's a heavy read.

The BITE model breaks down how authoritarian mind control operates, parts are very relevant.

 

[teriyakiburns]

I mentioned it before on the insane parents thread, but I think I'm in the process of losing a nephew to this shit. His grandmother incessantly bombards him with girly things and encourages him to call himself a princess. It's at the point where he's wearing a dress all the time and insisting he should have long hair. I initially had sympathy with his parents, because it's difficult to lay down the law with a grandparent, but in the meantime they've pretty much checked out of trying to do anything about it. My brother insists it's a phase and i refusing to put his foot down over it, his wife seems to be tacitly encouraging it as well, and my other brother and his wife also fobbed me off with "it's just a phase" shit too. Now it's hit the point where I'm getting subtly ostracised by everyone for questioning this. Only my dad and his arm candy seem to agree with me.

I see a lot of troonery elsewhere, given the field I work in these days. Former friends and qork colleagues will turn up out of the blue, squeaking like mickey mouse and insisting we call them the name of some 80s cartoon character, or princess squigglypuff, or something equally retarded. No I am not going to call you Timbelina Gadget, you mong... I've pretty much given up trying to talk sense to anyone about it now. I just push commits and try to ignore it all.

 

[AMHOLIO]

I prevented one friend from transitioning.

GG my dude.

I also worked on a movie with one of the wachowskis. I just thought it was a mad tranny. Didn't figure until later it was a wachowski.

What was that like? Just an angry director plus troonism?

Recently found out that they're into ABDL and the daddy/little thing.

Jesus christ how horrifying. No one like that is worth being around.

I don't have any lesbian friends anymore.

This is the sad truth and I really worry that my lesbians will do the same. So far they haven't, but you never know.

She now won't speak to me because I pointed out a pozzed as fuck fb dating group with "Sapphic" in the

Lol. Shame she didn't, I'm assuming she doubled down on that once she joined and is trying to convince herself trans women are fine and she needs to learn how to suck dick. Sorry about that.

and doesnt incessantly mention being a tranny, has a stable job, doesn't have sex for months into a relationship, and doesn't use drugs.

A chad of a trans. Good for em

Her mother was mentally ill to the point where she made her own loosely christian religion

Yeah that's going to fuck anyone up.

discovering her mother agrees with her on everything but trannies(an emotions-based christian and overbearing mother wanting the state to run everyone's lives? Who couldve predicted this?), she still sees her as some "right wing evangelical" stereotype.

Horseshoe theory strikes again, as well as "dogmatic followers of social justice are being the opposite of their conservative parents". I hope you got the money you spent back, maybe not from her but from life in general.

I mentioned it before on the insane parents thread, but I think I'm in the process of losing a nephew to this shit.

Really miss that horrifying rating right now. Sucks to be ostracized by you family, glad your dad and his arm candy give you a bit of a rock to anchor yourself on. I never thought grandmas would be into troon shit but jesus.

 

[Mal0]

Link to my original story, and a bit of an update:

So as per people's advice, I have kept my distance with my best friend for the time being while I decide what to do. In the mean time, as someone suggested, I spent time with his dad. The old man was like a second father to me growing up, so I want to make sure he's alright.

I had some "car issues" and called him over so maybe he could help me fix it. There was nothing wrong with the car, I just wanted an excuse to sit in my garage and drink with him. We sat and talked, sipping cheap beer while we just talked about life. He told me stories of when he was a young adult like me, we talked about cars, politics, guns, anything to keep him distracted about his ex-son.

What really broke my heart is when he told me, "It's like you're the only son I have left anymore".

My best friend can't even see how much he's hurting his own dad, and that's what really pisses me off. That old bastard of his is one of the best men you can have for a father. He's a hardass most of the time, but a funny guy too, and yet he does this to him, just because of some fucked up fetish. The more I reflect on it, the more I hate you, Zack.

Your sisters are weirded out by you (as they rightly should be), your dad is grieving, and I'm fucking tired. 10 unanswered texts, 5 missed phonecalls, and 7 discord messages within four days. Think I'm trying to tell you something bud?

 

[bored loser]

I have seen so many people transition now. I wrote about it here

TMI. Also edited because my fat thumbs pressed post too early.

Spoiler

I have had a couple years now where everyone I know is transitioning. I don't know how it's possible, and everyone calls me a liar when I say it, but it's 100% true. First, it started with some internet friends. Then, it turned into my entire friend group at university. Then, finally, my best friend since elementary school, and all her friends. There's even a family I know from middle school where both daughters transitioned.

Obviously, this all threw me into a loop, and I started thinking that I was trans too. I mean, why wouldn't I? Every conversation started to be about titty skittles and dysphoria and cracking eggs. People kept saying they "felt like <insert gender>" and I felt like the fucked up one for not knowing what that meant and never feeling like that. (I also had a long standing body image issue). They told me that if I didn't accept I was trans asap, then I would be in a world of pain and probably kill myself. So I finally begrudgingly accepted that I was nonbinary.

But I think hanging out on the anti-woke internet in my teenaged edgy phase grounded me a lot. I finally got sick of them when I realized they were getting on titty skittles within weeks of figuring out they're trans, and how they were all asexual AND poly, like how can you be both.

Anyways the second I found out detransitioning existed and then found old gender critical, I was out of there. But now I'm all alone in the world and I have a constant fear that more people I know will transition.

I've seen people go from lesbians to gay men in polycules. I've seen people change from being cool to being super annoying and trans 24/7. When I stopped identifying as trans, I lost a bunch of people.

I've seen too many people transition to count (I can count at least a dozen people who I knew pre transition; if we counted people who already were trans when I met them, it'd probably double or triple).

I literally have nightmares when I'm sleeping that more people, especially people I respect, will transition. Because at this point, it feels so inevitable. I've had so many people completely change everything because of transgenderism. People from so many different places have: literally friends from elementary school, from the internet, from college, everywhere. I also have recurring nightmares that someone will find out about my "transphobic" views and I'll lose everyone. I'm even worried that I could get reported to my college and face disciplinary action.

And you can't even really find support for stuff like this. I won't go into details because I'm not stupid, but I've said this all before on the internet and it was very nasty, and I just got told I'm a terf who needs to get over my bigotry because this "proves I know I'm wrong". If you Google this stuff, you just get articles about how to support your friends through their transitions. Nothing about the fact that a friend transitioning kind of fucks you up a bit. You can't talk to shrinks about it because all of them have drunk the kool-aid.

I am so, so sick of all of this. And it's really telling that one of the only places to get support right now is fucking Kiwi Farms.

Edit: forgot to add how they all got on hormones within a month of finding out they're trans, which then amplified their mental illnesses by 50000000%. So now they fly off the handle at the drop of a hat.

 

[A Thick Piece of Meat]

when my friends became trans we became closer because they were able to be themselves more honestly

 

[Banditotron]

when my friends became trans we became closer because they were able to be themselves more honestly

Ah, into ladyboys, then?

 

[A Thick Piece of Meat]

Ah, into ladyboys, then?

more friends is cool

 

[Popoto]

when my friends became trans we became closer because they were able to be themselves more honestly

Power to you if that is the case, but sadly when applied to my specific circumstances, I shudder at the idea that driving a car without a licence is somehow "being themselves".

 

[Vulva Gape]

I know people who are nonbinary, aka lazy trans, but it doesn't bother me that much. At least they're not mutilating their genitals and getting on juice. If they want to dye their hair blue and not wear deodorant power to them.

 

[Maurice Caine]

 

[AMHOLIO]

the mean time, as someone suggested, I spent time with his dad.

I'm glad the two of you are close. I wish you strength for these upcoming weeks. If your friend gets back to you, it might be a tipping point into some direction.

So now they fly off the handle at the drop of a hat.

This is like being in an abusive household, jesus. Are you going to a therapist at the moment? I hope you have some sort of extra support.

when my friends became trans we became closer because they were able to be themselves more honestly

Hell yeah. This is the transitioning I like to hear. I wish you and your friend well and hope you meet more trans people like them.

I know people who are nonbinary, aka lazy trans, but it doesn't bother me that much. At least they're not mutilating their genitals and getting on juice. If they want to dye their hair blue and not wear deodorant power to them.

Most of my nonbinary friends are chill too. Its strange, its just a subset who are more unsure of themselves that go all out. I wish I knew the difference for people, just to help them more if they're feeling like they need to alter their bodies. Really, they/them doesn't annoy me unless they co-opt struggles of the other lbg (eg "I'm they them but bio female and I'm gonna call myself a fag for being gay").

 

[bored loser]

This is like being in an abusive household, jesus. Are you going to a therapist at the moment? I hope you have some sort of extra support.

I'm not. Honestly at this point, it's been so long having friends like this (probably 6-7 years since this all started) that I'm used to it. I just know to keep my mouth bolted completely fucking shut. I highly doubt I'll ever get any friends where I can be myself and honest.

Plus I'm pretty sure any therapist would tell me I need to be more supportive of them because they're trans and victims in everything. I once had a therapist tell me she lost all respect for a client because she was a Trump supporter, and I figure this would go similarly.