Tess Holliday / Ryann Maegen Hoven - Beached Landwhale model, Body positive and social justice snacktivist, and gigantic fraud

[SomeVulgarFujoshi]

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If you stretch a human leg out like this photo it usually looks like one continuous "leg". There generally isn't a extreme difference between thigh and calf. Even with someone that's chubby.

This is something else entirely. She's gotten so fat that each body part is like a sausage. You can also see the same thing with her hand to wrist. Wrist to her forearm and then to her massive upper arm. I think someone up thread said when she scratched her skin on her calf it didn't move, like it was so full of fat the skin was stretched to bursting.

It's sad when your leg looks like an ass or breasts from another angle.

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such fat legs being so firm like that is definitely a sign of fluid retention and poor circulation, but this shouldn't come as a surprise to anyone that's been following her diabetic hoof saga

 

[SnarkySperg]

LMAO, are we just going to ignore the old guy who is her latest BFF?

I mean, I was going to. Why even bother mentioning him when we're never hearing from him again, like every other 'BFF' she's ever had?

You guys could be right about him being a client, though I have no reason to think she'd start showing them off now when she's kept them hidden this long.

That was a sweet little story that Starbucks barista tried to sell. But I have seen what obscene sugary shit Tess tosses into her coffee at home, and call bullshit. So no one can tell me that Tess goes to Starbucks just for a plain black coffee and adds just a little sugar and skimmed milk. Also going every day to Starbucks... Wow, but okay. Tess was never known to manage her financials wisely.

Yeah, Starbucks is one of those places I'll indulge in every so often but for one, they're insanely expensive. If I'm going to spend that much on a coffee, I'd prefer to stick with the local-owned ones, where you know the money isn't just going to some huge corporation. For two, you know she's getting something fancy. She isn't just getting some $2 cup of black coffee, she's paying twice that for something fancy. That's over $100 a month, and that's assuming she's only going once a day. And that doesn't include all the other shit she gets. And the fancy drinks are always quite a good number of calories.

 

[maggots]

Guessing Ryann’s coffee order: venti iced SUGAR FREE vanilla latte, extra pumps of sugar alcohols, with 11 splendas and a loaf of lemon cake warmed up. Such healthy. I wonder if she paid that barista extra to stalk her IG and comment whenever someone speaks about her feeding habits. An extra $20 under the table deal (fuck that tip jar). Funniest part about that is the comment would have just been another random comment, but she screenshotted it to post on her story so everyone can see how healthy her daily starbucks order is. I’m surprised she actually shows up at the store, I figured she would just Uber eats the latte and gets it delivered, watered down, at her door.

And yes, her scratching her nasty corpse tattoo in that ad was the most revolting thing about it. Uncanny valley effect in full force.

 

[Water-T]

I mean, I was going to. Why even bother mentioning him when we're never hearing from him again, like every other 'BFF' she's ever had?

You guys could be right about him being a client, though I have no reason to think she'd start showing them off now when she's kept them hidden this long.

Tess must understand by now that even her stupidest simps have to wonder where the money for these expensive cakes and that apartment are coming from when she has no gig except the Flabletics one that pays in free clothes.

She could be slowly dipping her numb, purple toes into being open about having feeder fetish pay piggies, because she's gotten way too fat and burned way too many bridges to work as a legit model again.

 

[Cheesegirl78]

I know I'm late with this, but I'm slightly irritated she gets PR from Pat McGrath. Stuff's expensive, yet this is the only time we'll see Tubby show it. It will all go into that makeup cupboard she has in her living room, only to be seen when she wants to show off again.

 

[Umaibae]

I do love the Pat McGrath lipstick I have. They don’t sell it here, or else I’d own more

I hate when things I like get used by Tubby Tess. Makes me not want to use them anymore.

 

[Cheesegirl78]

I do love the Pat McGrath lipstick I have. They don’t sell it here, or else I’d own more

I hate when things I like get used by Tubby Tess. Makes me not want to use them anymore.

Same here. Or if Kailyn Wilcher gets the same palettes I have. I like ColourPop, and she has many of the same things I do.
I've told her that now that she's 30, she needs to buy more Chanel or Dior cosmetics. She replied she'd never heard of those brands.

 

[It’s Currently Raining]

I know I'm late with this, but I'm slightly irritated she gets PR from Pat McGrath. Stuff's expensive, yet this is the only time we'll see Tubby show it. It will all go into that makeup cupboard she has in her living room, only to be seen when she wants to show off again.

Was it PR? I got the sense that she was only tagging them to try and get them to notice her. I didn’t watch the actual IG story tho so maybe I’m ignorant and also hoping that an actually interesting brand like Pat’s wouldn’t cheapen themselves in this way

 

[Cheesegirl78]

Was it PR? I got the sense that she was only tagging them to try and get them to notice her. I didn’t watch the actual IG story tho so maybe I’m ignorant and also hoping that an actually interesting brand like Pat’s wouldn’t cheapen themselves in this way

I'm pretty sure she said they were sent to her, when she was showing off her makeup cupboard earlier there were lots of PMG lipsticks still in their boxes and she was boasting about it being sent to her. Some people thought it was fans sending her stuff.

I can't see her buying makeup for herself when there are cakes to be bought and farted on.

 

[yousoundlikeanasshole]

 

[Local Fed]

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Absolutely retarded fatberg.

 

[yousoundlikeanasshole]

Absolutely retarded fatberg.

She said on the bellas podcast that she is seeing a 6'5" cis man. She must've forgot she said that.

 

[Umaibae]

Gotta show off her nasty, tacky handbag like the trash she is.

people who actually have money don’t flex the brands they own like this.

 

[AbraCadaver]

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Lol at every one of these pics, but that “I only get MINIMAL INJECTIONS for my taste I’m just blessed!” while sitting there with enormous puffed up rubber lips that have so much filler they’ve lost all definition, just ROFLMAO.

Also yeah she said she was seeing some suuuuper amazing fit hunk...now she’s not seeing anyone? Maybe her john told her to shut up and not mention him anymore.

Also I think they were asking the confused question because small children like Bowie DO get confused when parents separate and start dating again, and you need to have a conversation with them about it. But of course Tess had to REEEEEEEEEE! And shriek TRANSPHOBIAAAAAAA!!! to get woke points or whatever.

She was trying SO HARD to push the “I’m seeing Olly” story without actually saying it out loud...get some awesome QUEER CRED without Olly asking why Tess is telling everyone they’re dating...then she negates it all by saying they’re just friends (and like all true Narcissists, BEST FRIENDS, always get a new best friend every few months).

Her last partner was trans? Who, her husband? He’s enby, sis. Not trans. Love that she wants to use him as Abusive Husband to get victim points and also Trans Lover to get queer points.

Overall I think Tess shot her mouth off with “I’M SEEING SOMEONE AND HE’S A FIT HOT STRAIGHT MALE HUNK,” to show she’s still wanted...then got a call from her john telling her not to mention him at all because he didn’t want their transactions to be public. So now someone comes by innocently asking about her new relationship and she panics and shrieks “WHAT RELATIONSHIP?? I HAVE NONE!! I’m totally free and open for business—I MEAN A SUPPORTER OF TRANS PEOPLE!”

Maybe that was it too. You tell ppl you have a man, people think you’re taken, fewer men are going to ring you up asking you to sit on cakes. Gotta keep that single-and-available sign hung up to attract more feeders.

Also that used handbag flash, just Christ. Put it away Tess, it’s seasons out of date and as tatty as you are.

 

[SnarkySperg]

LOL what a basic bitch.

Jesus Christ, Tess.

This is the worst approach she could've taken. If her john said to stop talking about him, she could've just been vague, said she didn't want to talk about her personal life, or, hell, just ignored it and blocked the person. Jumping to this shit immediately is fucking batshit and basically the most suspicious thing she could have possibly said.

 

[Barbarella]

Her tall CIS love is a barista.

One who is either climbing half a rung up the social ladder where she lives, or is a fatty chaser.

I’m glad she added “for my taste” in the plastic surgery question. Her botox actually looks pretty nice so far, but her lips look awful, and now we know that it’s Tess’s doing only. (Not that there was much doubt.) But this is the kind of plastic surgeon I wouldnt see, because I’d want to look natural and healthy to others, and leave trends and my own insecurities out of it.

Most women focus too much on their flaws and some try one simple thing like botox and decide to tweak or fix everything, which ends up looking disjointed and fake. The ones who are successful aren’t trying to recapture youth, but accept they’ll get old but want to look fresh for their age. That’s what a professional can see that many can’t. That’s what you pay a professional for. they are more expensive but will tell you no,

Tess would rather save her money for cake than on needles going into her face. She’ll make sure this doc sees it for her next fill.

 

[George Floyd Sneed]

Tubby Tess is a compulsive liar and will say whatever feels best to her at the moment. Bragging about seeing some 6’5 cis hunk made sense to her a few days ago but much like her revolving door of BFFs, Tess changes her story when it suits her. However she is getting ever so closer to revealing her true source of income that it’s probably too hard for a dim bulb like Tess to keep it all together.

The only thing growing faster than her list of lies is her waistline.

 

[SnarkySperg]

Tubby Tess is a compulsive liar and will say whatever feels best to her at the moment. Bragging about seeing some 6’5 cis hunk made sense to her a few days ago but much like her revolving door of BFFs, Tess changes her story when it suits her. However she is getting ever so closer to revealing her true source of income that it’s probably too hard for a dim bulb like Tess to keep it all together.

The only thing growing faster than her list of lies is her waistline.

I feel like something's going to happen that'll all but confirm it. I *think* she's smart enough to not explicitly say she's doing sex work (at least not until she can use it for victim points), but I can see her accidentally posting something or saying something in one of those pointless interviews she does that does everything BUT say it. Or, maybe she IS dumb enough to be open about it, and she'll come out and announce it, then pull back and pretend it didn't happen if it doesn't go exactly how she planned (which is adulation all around because Tess can do no wrong).

 

[gingerthief]

Ok, I'm catching up on the thread and I'm super but RE: the paparazzi pic...

Her face looks so much like the girl from Hereditary, who was specifically cast for looking weird (poor girl... at least she's a great actress, unlike Tess who's a useless trashbag).

 

[Water-T]

Agreed. You've gotten even fatter and bitchier since then, Tessie.

Such growth! (waist wise, anyway)