Careercow Robert Chipman / Bob / Moviebob / "Movieblob" - Middle-Aged Consoomer, CWC with a Thesaurus, Ardent Male Feminist and Superior Futurist, the Twice-Fired, the Mario-Worshipper, publicly dismantled by Hot Dog Girl, now a diabetic

How will Bob react to seeing the Mario film?


  • Total voters
    1,451
Status
Not open for further replies.
Florida may have fewer dead people, a better economy, and a more stable lifestyle, BUT DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE ALLIGATORS??????

Bobert is just spiteful because you're supposed to quickly run away from alligators and that's impossible for him.
I've lived in Florida a few times. Alligators won't hurt anybody unless they are messed with. The alligator scare is useless.
 
These idiots are still harping on about the CPAC stage? Good lord, these people need to be committed to an asylum until they regain some tenuous grasp on reality. And even if you think the stage was a Nazi dogwhistle, that's not really "filled with nazi symbolism," is it? Unless everyone was going around sieg heiling each other and passing out business cards with swastikas on them, one stage does not a Nazi convention make.

And then something something yadda yadda Blob's an idiot who takes way too many words to make his point as usual, with a smug shrug emote to boot.
New York looks like shit under Dem rule, yet it is impolite for GOP to point that out:
View attachment 1961980
Question for Bobby: if New York is so great and Florida is such a hellhole, why is New York the second-highest state for outbound migration, while Florida is the ninth-highest state for inbound migration? Other progressive beacons like New Jersey (number 1), Illinois (number 3) and California (number 5) have people leaving in droves as well. His beloved Massachusetts is number 7 for outbound migration, so it's certainly not doing much better. Meanwhile, six of the top 10 states for inbound migration are in the backwards racist evil South. It's almost like people are sick of living in states where every aspect of their lives is micromanaged by bureaucratic asswipes and escaping to live in greener pastures.
1614655041888.png
(Note: this map only goes up to 47 states + DC because Alaska and Hawaii weren't included, and Vermont had too small a sample size. Edited since I didn't see that New Jersey was actually number one.)
So wait, after the autopsy confirmed that Saint Floyd of Fentanyl died of a massive OD, and after the bodycam footage came out that proved that he was already high as fuck and pulling the "I can't breathe" act well before he got a knee to the neck, Bobby is still pretending that George was a good boy who dindu nuffin? I'm not gonna say that he deserved to die because I don't get to make those calls, but when you play stupid games, you win stupid prizes. Floyd could still be alive today if he hadn't swallowed enough fentanyl to kill an elephant, but he did so he isn't. He most certainly was a criminal who OD'd on fentanyl, so I don't see why Tucker would be wrong in this instance.

There's being stupid, and there's being willfully ignorant. And then there's Bob.
 
Last edited:
So wait, after the autopsy confirmed that Saint Floyd of Fentanyl died of a massive OD, and after the bodycam footage came out that proved that he was already high as fuck and pulling the "I can't breathe" act well before he got a knee to the neck, Bobby is still pretending that George was a good boy who dindu nuffin? I'm not gonna say that he deserved to die because I don't get to make those calls, but when you play stupid games, you win stupid prizes. Floyd could still be alive today if he hadn't swallowed enough fentanyl to kill an elephant, but he did so he isn't. He most certainly was a criminal who OD'd on fentanyl, so I don't see why Tucker would be wrong in this instance.

There's being stupid, and there's being willfully ignorant. And then there's Bob.

Its easy, really. Robert's woke sempais have declared that Floyd will Rest In Power as a martyr, anything else is nazi propaganda.
 
I've lived in Florida a few times. Alligators won't hurt anybody unless they are messed with. The alligator scare is useless.
Well yeah, there's enough retirees with small dogs that get close enough to the water's edge to keep them full and lazy.

Question for Bobby: if New York is so great and Florida is such a hellhole, why is New York the highest state for outbound migration, while Florida is the ninth-highest state for inbound migration? Other progressive beacons like Illinois (number 2) and California (number 4) have people leaving in droves as well. His beloved Massachusetts is number 7 for outbound migration, so it's certainly not doing much better. Meanwhile, six of the top 10 states for inbound migration are in the backwards racist evil South. It's almost like people are sick of living in states where every aspect of their lives is micromanaged by bureaucratic asswipes and escaping to live in greener pastures.
View attachment 1962018
(Note: this map only goes up to 47 states because Alaska and Hawaii weren't included, and Vermont had too small a sample size.)
I don't even live in one of those blue strongholds and I'm considering Florida. I hate the climate, but I like the anti-Commie Cubans and the job opportunities.
So wait, after the autopsy confirmed that Saint Floyd of Fentanyl died of a massive OD, and after the bodycam footage came out that proved that he was already high as fuck and pulling the "I can't breathe" act well before he got a knee to the neck, Bobby is still pretending that George was a good boy who dindu nuffin? I'm not gonna say that he deserved to die because I don't get to make those calls, but when you play stupid games, you win stupid prizes. Floyd could still be alive today if he hadn't swallowed enough fentanyl to kill an elephant, but he did so he isn't. He most certainly was a criminal who OD'd on fentanyl, so I don't see why Tucker would be wrong in this instance.

There's being stupid, and there's being willfully ignorant. And then there's Bob.
I'd feel more sympathy for Floyd and his family if he hadn't been canonized after his death. Well, that and he stuck a gun in a pregnant woman's belly during a robbery.
 
Because for the time being he can't terrorize comic cons and hover-hand the cosplayers:
View attachment 1961848
Comic-Con is nothing but a giant ad these days. You get the same experience watching a commercial on TV. Bob laments that his temple to consoomerism has been closed.

You ever watch It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia? In one episode one of the characters, Mac, is upset that his Gym Teacher in Elementary School didn't sexually molest him thinking he was so attractive as a kid he should have gotten molested. Mac is a delusional, closeted Gay, narcissist, who seeks constant validation in life due to his dysfunctional relationship with his father. Bob is just jealous that the only chance to lose his virginity passed him by.
Someone criticizes MCU as military propaganda. He must be put right:
View attachment 1961831
I've heard this argument before that the military has developed many important technologies and shouldn't be written off as baby-killing fascists. They just do it in a less snarky tone than Bob. My Dad is all about the military and NASA advancing technology but he talks about that stuff in a way thats close to his heart because he grew up during the Space Race and is a retired engineer. Unlike Chris he had a sucessful career, has his name on a patent, and something he designed is in the Smithsonian. Bob just went to EPCOT once and watches way too many B-Movies and Blockbuster Capeshit and needs to defend military involvement ith the films so he can consoom without guilt.
A woman, a professional filmmaker, disrespects Wanda. The Outrage! She must be put right.
View attachment 1961907
Despite his impenetrable word salad you can still sense how Bobby feels personally attacked by Madison's comment.
Bob is so pathetic its funny.

He goes on a tirade about how some written by committee TV show has moved his heart in a way that even the greatest Hollywood directors couldn't before being humiliated by a joke Twitter account before defending a company infamous for how saccharine their products are. The man is a consoomer to the bone defending any corporation no matter how terrible their products are.
Still more Wanda bullshit, with a side dish of Psy-ops and Chaser Chu. It seems Bobby learned about the Iowa Writer Workshop through Chu:
View attachment 1961865
(Further reading: Chu-chu discussing the "middlebrow" aspect of Wanda)
You think the two of you sound smart? You are going on about how a woman in love with a robot uses her magic powers to create a TV universe so she can live with her dead husbando. Yeah you use big fancy words but the only reason people consider Bob and Chu smart is because they were in the right place at the right time. Bob got into the reviewing game when it was just getting off the ground and survives on that legacy while Chu was one of the first players to jump around the board hunting for the Daily Double. Despite the twos early success its telling that the places they achieved their fame, want nothing to do with them. The Escapist fired Bob twice and didn't even bother to hold on to any of the videos and IP he made for them and Chu despite winning a substantial amount of money wasn't invited back to the Jeopardy All-Starts tournament which pitted 15 popular high-scoring contestants into teams.

+ + + +
Cahiers du Cinéma avec Robert
View attachment 1961991
*Starts hammering nails into a 2X4*

Oh fuck you Bob. That scene was hilarious and that movie was hilarious as dumb as it was. The scene where Jim Carey crawls out of the rhinos ass naked deserves an Oscar. Of course he has to take a dumb but funny movie and virtue signal about how "it makes fun of rich white people" and "problematic nonsense" to lord over everyone else. Also do NOT ever associate yourself with the masterpiece that is Kung Pow.
This one of the many reasons you just want to punch Bob in the face. He takes something meant to be silly and goofy, and instead arrogantly talks about it like hes explaining the science behind the origin of the Universe. Bob acts like an arrogant asshole because he knows which movie a funny scene is originally from instead of just laughing at the funny scene. Even when saying Oedekirk did a better job on Kung Pow it comes across as smug and arrogant.

I initially read this as Bob raging against his mortal enemy: Stairs.
 
Its easy, really. Robert's woke sempais have declared that Floyd will Rest In Power as a martyr, anything else is nazi propaganda.
Exactly. Bob is as rigid in his adherence to the narrative no matter what the reality is or how much it changes.
You don't need the latest and most powerful graphics card to play video games. Talk about privilege.
There are definitive editions of old RTS and FPS games on Steam right now for under $30 that you can play on an older laptop. That's always an option. I know these types generally believe in getting handed exactly what they want, but why does anyone need to have the latest graphics card or a PS5 right now?
 
There are definitive editions of old RTS and FPS games on Steam right now for under $30 that you can play on an older laptop. That's always an option. I know these types generally believe in getting handed exactly what they want, but why does anyone need to have the latest graphics card or a PS5 right now?
They are both troons, and troons are the sons of consoomerism and entitlement.
 
u right af man. speakin of sons, thats why i always tell them soyboys that genetics are important af. im the proud son of a prolific badass rapist convicted on 5 seperate occasions and i dont take shit from nobody. sure my pops killed himself while servin life but he did it cuz he knew it was the realest most based thing that mothafucka could do. ion give a fuck if he killed my mom o whatever, shit happens. tranny devito mfs r so entitled they aint even know the struggle of gettin laid. i had to grind n threaten girls with death if they dinnit wanna have sex wit me cuz life aint hand me shit. n dont judge me either. a death threat clear and free is entitlement to the PU-NA-NI, nigga. tranny kids nowadays just post they balls on a message board n everyone wants to suck em. i used to have to pay straight dudes 80 bucks per testicle just to suck on on em for 2 minutes. not to mention, they consumerist asses! i aint pay uncle sam a dime in taxes for the past 15 years cuz i aint buy into all that mindless spending. they even cut my water and electricity cuz they knew my ass was right. i havent bought toothpaste in 15 years either cuz i aint a mindless zombie. i invest my shit. im talking dogecoin 2012 n all that. whateva man sorry for rantin on tha thread. positron u r one crazy redpilled based mf and i like it.
Well, then.
 
"I'm a Catholic. I know sexual abuse!"
View attachment 1961837
Bob, you are not a Catholic. It's not like being a Jew, where you can be a complete atheist or agnostic and still claim membership because you have the right genetics. It's also not like being in the Marines, where you're considered a lifelong member long after you leave it, even if you never have anything to do with the organization ever again. In order to be a Catholic, at the bare minimum, you have to believe in God. Some would argue you have to attend Mass regularly and go to Confession on a regular basis. Oh sure, you probably did a couple of the Sacraments as a kid, but that doesn't make you a lifelong Catholic if you declare yourself atheist and stop attending Church. Sacraments aren't like Boy Scout merit badges. They mean nothing if you leave the organization.
 
Bob, you are not a Catholic. It's not like being a Jew, where you can be a complete atheist or agnostic and still claim membership because you have the right genetics. It's also not like being in the Marines, where you're considered a lifelong member long after you leave it, even if you never have anything to do with the organization ever again. In order to be a Catholic, at the bare minimum, you have to believe in God. Some would argue you have to attend Mass regularly and go to Confession on a regular basis. Oh sure, you probably did a couple of the Sacraments as a kid, but that doesn't make you a lifelong Catholic if you declare yourself atheist and stop attending Church. Sacraments aren't like Boy Scout merit badges. They mean nothing if you leave the organization.
It's not Bobby's fault he stopped going to church and practicing the religion. The priests wouldn't let him eat more than one wafer! 20 wafers—at the very least—is a fairly small amount for an average sized person.
 
u right af man. speakin of sons, thats why i always tell them soyboys that genetics are important af. im the proud son of a prolific badass rapist convicted on 5 seperate occasions and i dont take shit from nobody. sure my pops killed himself while servin life but he did it cuz he knew it was the realest most based thing that mothafucka could do. ion give a fuck if he killed my mom o whatever, shit happens. tranny devito mfs r so entitled they aint even know the struggle of gettin laid. i had to grind n threaten girls with death if they dinnit wanna have sex wit me cuz life aint hand me shit. n dont judge me either. a death threat clear and free is entitlement to the PU-NA-NI, nigga. tranny kids nowadays just post they balls on a message board n everyone wants to suck em. i used to have to pay straight dudes 80 bucks per testicle just to suck on on em for 2 minutes. not to mention, they consumerist asses! i aint pay uncle sam a dime in taxes for the past 15 years cuz i aint buy into all that mindless spending. they even cut my water and electricity cuz they knew my ass was right. i havent bought toothpaste in 15 years either cuz i aint a mindless zombie. i invest my shit. im talking dogecoin 2012 n all that. whateva man sorry for rantin on tha thread. positron u r one crazy redpilled based mf and i like it.
Sir this is a McDonald's.
 
It's not Bobby's fault he stopped going to church and practicing the religion. The priests wouldn't let him eat more than one wafer! 20 wafers—at the very least—is a fairly small amount for an average sized person.
Who wants to bet that Bob also drank too much of the communion wine and passed out?
 
I know I keep posting stuff that MovieBob Fails account has dug up, and I suppose this might have shown up on the thread before (it's from 2013) but my God.

View attachment 1961207
I mean, I’ve had peanut sauce on meats and such, but this just wrong.
Like, there’s a non-zero chance some McDonald’s employee had to watch as Bob deadass spread peanut butter, peanut butter that he brought in, on his average-sized order.
 
I mean, I’ve had peanut sauce on meats and such, but this just wrong.
Like, there’s a non-zero chance some McDonald’s employee had to watch as Bob deadass spread peanut butter, peanut butter that he brought in, on his average-sized order.
Jesus Christ, how does someone that puts peanut butter on a fucking cheeseburger survive this long?
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back