The Tenacious Unicorn Ranch / @TenaciousRanch / Steampunk Penny / Penellope Logue / Phillip Matthew Logue - Don't cry because it ended, laugh because it's still getting worse.

[Enoby Way]

I'm going to miss the juxtaposition of Trancheros on full alert while Kevin does whatever Kevin does all day, but I'm happy that tenacious unicorn ranch has its own thread. The ranch and all its other inhabitants are way more interesting to me.

To new readers, I know it is a slog but I genuinely recommend reading the first...Jesus, the first 950 pages of Kevin's thread, before you comment. Most of the tranny Waco jokes etc have been made there already.

This OP is really great as an intro, but it still misses a LOT. This is not to blame 0_1, it is going to take a long long time to go back through Kevin's thread and compile all those bits of lore scattered throughout. At least it is entertaining, there is rarely a dull moment in that thread.

If any artistic Kiwis are up for it I'd love to inspire you to do some fanart of the Tranchers.

 

[WinchesterPremium]

You're going to get raped

Say in minecraft before you get banned again.

 

[mr.moon1488]

You're going to get raped

Yeah, but I get free haircuts.

 

[Blacklight]

Taking the 41% into consideration, what’s the usual half-life of a trans commune?

Well the CHAZ/CHOP lasted a few weeks?

 

[Red Mask]

Animals on the farm include mostly alpacas, plus a couple of sheep, enough chickens that they sell eggs, possibly a few ducks, and Kevin.

They smoke weed but have never mentioned growing it.

Maybe they should. It’d be better than shilling on Go Fund Me.

 

[Enoby Way]

Taking the 41% into consideration, what’s the usual half-life of a trans commune?

Bear in mind this place has been going since at least early 2019.

 

[HarblMcDavid]

"Fascists are breaking into my house to inflate my truck tires" is something I'd expect from a schizophrenic, or maybe Laura Loomer.

If I had some mortal enemy who I seriously wanted to maim or kill, or at least intimidate, and I managed to get access to their vehicle, why the fuck would I over-inflate their tyres? That takes ages and exposes me to more risk than the truck owner, because if the tyre explodes while I'm inflating it it's going to detonate in my face. Surely the fash, having made all the effort to break into the compound and fuck with Penny's truck, would just slash the tyres? Or cut the brake lines? Or put sugar in the gas tank? Or put a potato in the exhaust? Or carve a threat into the paintwork with a key? Or just set fire to the fucking truck? But nope, apparently the Colorado SS just want to pump up your tyres for some goddam reason. Maybe they'll change your oil while they're at it.

And here's the best part, 100% they did this to themselves and just didn't realize it.

I can off the top of my head think of 2 different ways this can happen and if I had to guess, this might be a case of both.

1) Colorado mountains in the winter are cold. The first result "tire overinflation cold weather" is a generic firestone tires blog which notes that tire pressure can vary by several PSI depending on the ambient temps at the time. So, fill up the tires when it's really cold? Yeah, you'll be a bit over when it warms up.
2) As anyone with a functioning brain can understand, but may not immediately recognize unless they follow car racing, tires heat up as you drive them and that is transferred to the air within, which then expands. Optimal tire pressure in racing is achieved under track conditions, as well as needing literal heat in the tires for maximum grip, which is why race-car drivers tend to do that back and forth swerving on safety or pre-race parade laps. I've noticed this on my car before to a lesser extent, where if I check the pressure before starting the car and then again when after some sustained and decent speed driving, that pressure has increased after driving for a bit.

I would not call either of these overpressure scenarios actual problems unless the tires are really overinflated to begin with, but between both of them I'd argue it is plausible they might see a 8 PSI overpressure or so combining the two...ignoring that this is a natural result of what they did to the truck prior to checking the pressure.

I wish I could find a copy of the "nazis are coming from inside your brain" meme edit of a WW2 propaganda poster I remember from so long ago, because I think its applicable.

 

[Knojkamarangasan_#4]

Can't wait for Waco siege.2.0, place your bets people!

 

[SIGSEGV]

Say in minecraft before you get banned again.

No.

 

[Divine right to rule]

The ranch and all its other inhabitants are way more interesting to me.

Agreed. They scratch a different itch of lolcowdom for me though. Kevin is a lolcow that is fun to follow because he is extremely gross and stupid, in a "laugh at the retard way", that alone got a bit old over time though because he stopped posting amhole updates, and his delusions were one of the main sources of amusement.

The tranch capos Pennywise and Bonnie are gross and stupid too, but that is not the main draw.
Kevie is a shit human, but he is mostly harmless, and a coward.
Bonnie and Penny are violent lunatics who built a little cult commune and pretty much declared war against the outside world.
They are hateful and paranoid, and problems with the law or an actual murder or shooting situation is very likely.
They are more of a thriller. They could snap at every moment and go on a shooting spree in their tiny village full of conservative bigots and nazis.
And because they got much left wing media attention already, and will continue to do so, a violent incident would make national, maybe international news.
I really can't wait to see how this anime ends.
Shootout? Terrorism? Going bankrupt and moving back to their parents? Who knows!
I am enjoying Tran Ranch's wild ride.

 

[Make Anime Illegal]

where the tranch soon claimed to have received death threats and letters containing an "acidic powder" of some sort.

Acidity depends on the concentration of Hydrogen ions in a solution. I'm pretty sure there's no such thing as an "acidic powder," which means they are 100% making this up.

 

[Spunt]

Maybe they should. It’d be better than shilling on Go Fund Me.

Pretty sure weed doesn't grow in freezing, barren deserts. Neither does anything else, really. Someone in the other thread found out that the growing season there is only 60 days of the year. I don't grow weed (sorry feds, no joy here) so I don't know how long it takes but I don't know if you'd get even one crop a year in that time. Weed/hemp is native to North Africa, where it's, y'know, warm and sunny. That's why you need hydroponics to grow it anywhere significantly colder and darker, and the troons can barely keep the lights on or stop their chicken eggs turning into popsicles overnight, let alone run a hothouse in the freezing winter.

Meth, or maybe shrooms, on the other hand...

 

[Dagobert]

Bear in mind this place has been going since at least early 2019.

The Ranch, at least at its current location, is only just turning a year old. The property was bought sometime in mid-March, 2020.

What boggles my noggle is that the property was sold for 242K, I don't know how these troons scraped enough money to get a mortgage on the property; there hasn't been an ounce of competence shown by this lot. Also, the property has lost 6K in value already. Considering neighboring property seems to be going up in the region, that's pretty wow.

Even before taxes they should be paying over a thousand dollars/month before utilities. I don't know how that's going to be sustainable for the Tranch in the long term, the Patreon/GoFundMe grift can't last for too long. If there will be a rampage, I expect it when the money dries up and the troon squad gets evicted.

 

[mr.moon1488]

Agreed. They scratch a different itch of lolcowdom for me though. Kevin is a lolcow that is fun to follow because he is extremely gross and stupid, in a "laugh at the retard way", that alone gets a bit old over time though because he stopped posting amhole updates, and his delusions were one of the main sources of amusement.

The tranch capos Pennywise and Bonnie are gross and stupid too, but that is not the main draw.
Kevie is a shit human, but he is mostly harmless, and a coward.
Bonnie and Penny are violent lunatics who built a little cult commune and pretty much declared war against the outside world.
They are hateful and paranoid, and problems with the law or an actual murder or shooting situation is very likely.
They are more of a thriller. They could snap at every moment and go on a shooting spree in their tiny village full of conservative bigots and nazis.
And because they got much left wing media attention already, and will continue to do so, a violent incident would make national, maybe international news.
I really can't wait to see how this anime ends.
Shootout? Terrorism? Going bankrupt and moving back to their parents? Who knows!
I am enjoying Tran Ranch's wild ride.

I feel like a Jonestown situation is not entirely off the list of possible endings.

 

[Spunt]

Acidity depends on the concentration of Hydrogen ions in a solution. I'm pretty sure there's no such thing as an "acidic powder," which means they are 100% making this up.

According to the other thread, it was something like Citric Acid powder, which is a food additive and is basically powdered orange juice and about as dangerous.

 

[Cool Spot]

I'm going to miss the juxtaposition of Trancheros on full alert while Kevin does whatever Kevin does all day, but I'm happy that tenacious unicorn ranch has its own thread. The ranch and all its other inhabitants are way more interesting to me.

To new readers, I know it is a slog but I genuinely recommend reading the first...Jesus, the first 950 pages of Kevin's thread, before you comment. Most of the tranny Waco jokes etc have been made there already.

This OP is really great as an intro, but it still misses a LOT. This is not to blame 0_1, it is going to take a long long time to go back through Kevin's thread and compile all those bits of lore scattered throughout. At least it is entertaining, there is rarely a dull moment in that thread.

If any artistic Kiwis are up for it I'd love to inspire you to do some fanart of the Tranchers.

Penny and Bonnie, the gruesome twosome.

 

[Spunt]

The Ranch, at least at its current location, is only just turning a year old. The property was bought sometime in mid-March, 2020.

What boggles my noggle is that the property was sold for 242K, I don't know how these troons scraped enough money to get a mortgage on the property; there hasn't been an ounce of competence shown by this lot. Also, the property has lost 6K in value already. Considering neighboring property seems to be going up in the region, that's pretty wow.

Even before taxes they should be paying over a thousand dollars/month before utilities. I don't know how that's going to be sustainable for the Tranch in the long term, the Patreon/GoFundMe grift can't last for too long. If there will be a rampage, I expect it when the money dries up and the troon squad gets evicted.

They could afford it because Paul/Bonnie's mother (the one he keeps shitting on on Twitter and Facebook) signed the mortgage paperwork. Kevin recently revealed that he puts $1000 a month towards the tranch from his inheritance cheques.

The whole thing is a privileged white boy trust fund LARP, which makes the whole thing even funnier.

 

[Space Retard]

Please, please, please let this turn into Troony Ridge or Wacko Waco

 

[World's Smallest Violin]

View attachment 1998660

I had to double check to see if I edited the awful teeth in the original, but they're real.

"Joker is our word, but you can say JOKA"

 

[Spunt]

Please, please, please let this turn into Troony Ridge or Wacko Waco

The phrase you're looking for is Tranch Davidians.