The Tenacious Unicorn Ranch / @TenaciousRanch / Steampunk Penny / Penellope Logue / Phillip Matthew Logue - Don't cry because it ended, laugh because it's still getting worse.

[Gone Ham]

For once they seem to be making a decent job of something. They've got the right tools, marked it all out, using a level etc. But to see how they've already overgrazed their land, compare the mud in the foreground with the vegetation growing in their neighbour's field. I wonder how long it will take the land to recover. Given that the recommended stocking density on their plot is less than one cow, I'm guessing that their plot is going to resemble The Somme for another few years. Rotation is meaningless when you are so overstocked. The only bit of land I've seen that looks similarly bare is the Harris Ranch, aka Cowschwitz, but beef farming is profitable, even when you ship in the feed.

But on a more serious note, the herd desperately needs to be thinned. There are too many for their own good, and I fear for their safety

 

[HarblMcDavid]

For once they seem to be making a decent job of something. They've got the right tools, marked it all out, using a level etc. But to see how they've already overgrazed their land, compare the mud in the foreground with the vegetation growing in their neighbour's field. I wonder how long it will take the land to recover. Given that the recommended stocking density on their plot is less than one cow, I'm guessing that their plot is going to resemble The Somme for another few years. Rotation is meaningless when you are so overstocked. The only bit of land I've seen that looks similarly bare is the Harris Ranch, aka Cowschwitz, but beef farming is profitable, even when you ship in the feed.

What I'm getting from this is that this will go exactly the way everything that trannies touch (literally or figuratively) ends up going: a barren kingdom of sterile mud which nobody except them wants to roll around in?

 

[Ghjkl63]

They according to Kevin have 13 (minus Paul E Federally now?) so a dozen shitty guns is exactly what they need in a shoot-out. Doesn't do you any good to have excellent weapons for half your fighting force. Objectively the plates are better than nothing, and seem reasonably capable of stopping pistol rounds at least.

Disclaimer: I don't want anybody to be shot by men in tutus. I speak only of practical planning for small units.

Good point. Their choices of firearms is still not great as they don't seem to have standardized on caliber and magazines, which will lead to issues if they get into a prolonged shootout like they claim is going to happen any day now.

 

[lolwut]

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Angery


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So feminine.

Setting up your kit means attaching your holster to a belt several sizes too small so your pistol gets caught on the plate carrier taughtly stretched over your gunt.

 

[Lubby Smith]

Tenacious Unicorn Ranch installed 6,000 feet of 4-foot tall chicken-wire fence a year ago, which served its purpose keeping the herd on their property.

Then came the Night of the Chud, the citric acid incident, and the alpaca assassination.

Tranch senior command Mxtress Phillip "Penis" Logue, Paul "Troon Boon" Mendoza, and Kevin "Amhole" Gibes received a strategic debriefing by T.A.R.D.S (Tenacious Alpaca Ranch Defense Systems) that recommended upgrades to perimeter fortifications, so as to ward off these types of wholly legitimate threats should enemy forces attempt them again.

Having already emptied the Tranch warchest on children's toys and dilators, they would have to rely on allies for financing. Luckily, hundreds of simps and chasers were more than happy to oblige, filling the Tranch coffers with $100k.

Now the Tranch is Chud-proof, impervious to Nazi invasion. Behold, the 6-foot tall chicken wire fence.

 

[Kuritan Deplorable]

That's why they bought the tractor
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Spoiler

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Maybe I missed someone mentioning it, or maybe I'm just completely ignorant to farming, but why are the Alpaca's just chilling on hay in the middle of the open, middle of nowhere? There's what looks like water trough legs behind them. Have they really been just hand shredding bales into the open fields and letting them chill on it while they eat it?

 

[stupid frog]

Thank god CHUDS take a break the same time they decide to build a fence lads.

 

[Gone Ham]

Fair point. They haven't mentioned the Chuds the past few days...

 

[Hell yeah dude]

Maybe I missed someone mentioning it, or maybe I'm just completely ignorant to farming, but why are the Alpaca's just chilling on hay in the middle of the open, middle of nowhere? There's what looks like water trough legs behind them. Have they really been just hand shredding bales into the open fields and letting them chill on it while they eat it?

Yep...

 

[s0mbra]

That's probably like 15-20lbs of ground judging by the size of the cast iron. It's not even a giant pile of meat, it's two giant piles of meat. It may even be more than 20lbs. You can't even see the level of rice in the pot. They easily have 5x the amount of meat compared to rice for fucking burritos. These fat greasy neets think a burrito is 1-2lbs of meat with some fixins in a tortilla. Not to mention the beans.

Well good to see the dead alpaca don't go to waste

You might actually be right. They sell shirts that I assume the delivery drivers would also wear.

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https://www.chudspizza.com/apparel

Unironically going to buy one. Looks like you get get them delivered or pick up at the store

 

[Coccxys]

Behold, the 6-foot tall chicken wire fence.

Do they really think chicken wire would stop anyone who was determined to cause them trouble? A decent pair of gardening shears would get you through that pretty quickly (and quietly). If they have time to overinflate your tyres they definitely have time to cut through a chickenwire fence.

 

[Ethereal Eye]

Yep...
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That's an expression that screams "Get me the hell out of here.".

 

[Ghjkl63]

oh no they have sheep too now?

 

[Miss Misery]

Right, finally caught up.
So they bought or going to buy a nearby unfinished Earthship project? Now that, THAT is gonna be fuckin' hilarious. What are they even going to do with that? Another troon stable? Earthships, as originally designed, will require quite some involved plumbing going on, they usually use mainly rainwater that is filtered, and then the greywater is used for indoor botanicals and finally the blackwater in an elaborate composting system or whatever.
I mean, it's a cool thing and theoretically fully off-grid, but it's insane troons we're talking about, so I'm 100% sure that the first lot of troons they're housing in their new troonship will be poisoned immediately. Or freeze to death or something. These things don't work too well in cold climates, and while they can be planned out to work well, it's again the insane troons we're talking about, so they'll fuck it up. I don't think the Tranch Davidian compound will survive long enough for the troonshed to be finished, let alone house actual troon cattle. But I hope they do finish it, and I hope they do get some people living there, because the fallout will likely be legendary.

I think by "Earthship" they just mean they're building it out of dirt (and other stuff). I seriously doubt they're putting any effort into making a proper Earthship.

Alpaca Update (x)
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I might be dumb, but these alpacas look dirty and unhealthy to me. The area around the ankles? knees? look discolored beyond belief, and I don't think chicken wire is a good enough fence for them.

Spoiler

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Alpaca rest and sleep in a "cush" position, kind of like a cat who's turned into a loaf, so that likely explains the discoloration. However, considering that healthy alpacas with enough space shit in a communal pile, it does make me wonder how horrific the barn truly is...

They started putting in the fences, which surprises me, but I don't recognize a few of them
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Spoiler

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Also Paul, the Fed, is gone
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For the amount of money they spent on fence posts, I'm absolutely shocked (not really) they didn't set them in concrete. Those were 8 foot posts, right? So only 2 feet of the post is sunk into the ground... in an extremely dry, high-wind area. I can't wait until the posts start falling over due to rot and wind storms.

Given that the recommended stocking density on their plot is less than one cow, I'm guessing that their plot is going to resemble The Somme for another few years. Rotation is meaningless when you are so overstocked. The only bit of land I've seen that looks similarly bare is the Harris Ranch, aka Cowschwitz, but beef farming is profitable, even when you ship in the feed.

What you see (and smell) of Harris Ranch from I-5 is the finishing feedlot, where they're temporarily housing the cattle while they fatten them up with an all-grain diet (so no graze needed) before slaughter. Harris Ranch doesn't raise them on that horrible land; they've got ranches all over the state. Also In-n-Out uses Harris Ranch beef and Temple Grandin said they do an excellent job of caring for and slaughtering the animals.

 

[REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!]

oh no they have sheep too now?

Well yeah, it's easier to fuck a sheep than an alpaca. It's not like they're keeping livestock for wool.

 

[SIGSEGV]

Well yeah, it's easier to fuck a sheep than an alpaca. It's not like they're keeping livestock for wool.

Are you from Wales or New Zealand, by any chance?

 

[SmokeyMcRunFast]

They started putting in the fences, which surprises me, but I don't recognize a few of them
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Spoiler

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Also Paul, the Fed, is gone
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I wonder why they are going with sunk wooden posts every 10 feet it looks like. It would have been cheaper and easier to run t-posts and only do the wooden posts every 100 or so feet. Also if they are trying to keep people out with chicken wire good luck. They would have been better off just running 4-6 strands of high tensile hot wire and getting a nice big electric fence controller. With high tensile wire they would only need posts about ever 100 feet. That would also give the ebil nazis a nice surprise.

 

[Mushroom Soup]

I'm honestly learning so much about guns and homesteading from this thread, KF truly warms my heart sometimes.

 

[WinchesterPremium]

I wonder why they are going with sunk wooden posts every 10 feet it looks like. It would have been cheaper and easier to run t-posts and only do the wooden posts every 100 or so feet. Also if they are trying to keep people out with chicken wire good luck. They would have been better off just running 4-6 strands of high tensile hot wire and getting a nice big electric fence controller. With high tensile wire they would only need posts about ever 100 feet. That would also give the ebil nazis a nice surprise.

You'd need electricity to do that, and there would be a fair chance of a not-sober sleep deprived rancher running into it themselves during night patrol.

 

[AprilRains]

You'd need electricity to do that, and there would be a fair chance of a not-sober sleep deprived rancher running into it themselves during night patrol.

And if there are two things these people are known for, it is their thrifty use of electricity and their thoughtful risk assessments.