Plagued Consoomers / Consoomer Culture - Because if it has a recogniseable brand on it, I’d buy it!

[Complete Reprobate]

"It's been sixteen years since the end. My band had just taken on refugees from the Branchland tribe. One of their members trailed behind the rest, face gaunt and frame frail. As we neared camp, the weak Branchlander collapsed, choking and sputtering. I looked on wordless as he hacked up rivulets of thick, tarry mucus while crying to himself 'shouldn't have... I shouldn't have burnt them.' One of the younger men moved to help him, but I placed a firm hand on his shoulder.

'Let him go son. He's got the funko lung.'"

Yes sir, the only cure is to place the poor bastard in a large cardboard box with a clear plastic front. It must be labelled as Funko Lung, Limited Edition.

 

[Dick Justice]

God I'd love to watch a funkopop bugman's house catch fire and then watch him mourn the pop boxes more than the house.

God I'd love to watch a funkopop bugman get mugged and beaten and then watch him mourn the pop boxes more than the injuries.

God I'd love to watch a funkopop bugman's favourite shop get shot up and then watch him mourn the pop boxes more than the dead.

God I'd love to watch a funkopop bugman perpetrate a genocide and then watch him mourn being away from his pop boxes more than his crimes against humanity.

I tried to think of a snowclone that would be so absurd it's unbelievable, but I couldn't. Poe's law's in full effect, folks.

 

[Pinochet Was Right]

"It's been sixteen years since the end. My band had just taken on refugees from the Branchland tribe. One of their members trailed behind the rest, face gaunt and frame frail. As we neared camp, the weak Branchlander collapsed, choking and sputtering. I looked on wordless as he hacked up rivulets of thick, tarry mucus while crying to himself 'shouldn't have... I shouldn't have burnt them.' One of the younger men moved to help him, but I placed a firm hand on his shoulder.

'Let him go son. He's got the funko lung.'"

Toxic Chinese Plastic Fumes: the Funko Coof

 

[Homegrown Homophobia]

Comments are now turned off on the originally posted video. Anyway, here is the video where he shows off and admits his collection is worth $11,000...and its from 2018 so if anything he has more now.

I'm a pretty big snowboarder and there's no way I've spent as much as him on my hobby/passion as this soy.

 

[AdmiralRenae]

The shoe consoomers are much worse than even the funko pop "collectors". At least those are $20, these shoes can be thousands of dollars sometimes all for the exact thing you already have but "rare" because they only made x of these specifically styled ones. I'm sure there's 100 different nba players that have thousands of different pairs of these trash shoes totalling a million dollars or more. I would rather be addicted to heroin, at least they have some semblence of humanity left in them. There is truly nothing left in these mindless drones.

I had a pair of Yeezys gifted to me and they wore out quickly (did not throw them away) but holy shit I am tired of celebrities endorsing products just for mindless consoomers to boost sales

They do, that's why AAA games are as bland and shitty as they are. Gamers are the quintessential consoomer. They have a savage brand loyalty, love salivating over shiny dangling keys, and love for paying extra hundreds of dollars for shitty figures. Even those that say they aren't go all View attachment 2042372 "OMG steam sale I'm going to buy a bunch of games and never play them kekekelelll!!!"

It's why I just left the community as a whole, it's just loaded with consoomerism to the point where it's not even about video games as an entertainment anymore.

After Cyberpunk, I dont want to touch the Triple A gaming industry anymore. People buying collectors editions and shit thank god I refunded my copy.

Bash me all you want but I feel shame whenever I buy something expensive, which makes me reluctant on buying anything that I don't really need. I am still very reluctant on buying a Switch for my birthday.

 

[h0387]

This guy just spent another $6500 on Funkos.

 

[John Titor]

Comments are now turned off on the originally posted video. Anyway, here is the video where he shows off and admits his collection is worth $11,000...and its from 2018 so if anything he has more now.

I see multiples. I guess that answers my question on if they actually like the characters and not just buying them to have them.

 

[Gar For Archer]

I see multiples. I guess that answers my question on if they actually like the characters and not just buying them to have them.

They have 550+ funko pops, the answer to that question should be obvious. Nobody can possibly “like” that many characters, and I’m 100% sure he hasn’t even watched most of the shows represented in his collection.

 

[Gensou Hadou]

Has anyone posted the Majora's Mask moon yet?

 

[Mepsi Pax]

When I first saw the words "Funko Pops" thrown around online, I thought it was some weeb candy like Pocky or something. No shit. I basically imagined it was some kind of neon-colored ring pop or candy cane. I ended up asking my buddy what the fuck it was, and it took a little bit of effort to comprehend his explanation... plastic figures? You mean like action figures? Why are people talking about it? What's the gimmick?

Took me some exposure to understand that it was just metastasized consumer product, literally a meta-figurine that no longer has it's own brand or nerdshit fantasy story but a blank METABRAND that can wear any other trend like a skin suit. From a marketing perspective it's brilliant, but it's also just about the dumbest, most useless shit I've ever seen.

 

[John Titor]

They have 550+ funko pops, the answer to that question should be obvious. Nobody can possibly “like” that many characters, and I’m 100% sure he hasn’t even watched most of the shows represented in his collection.

Inspiration for shitpost struck.

 

[Staffy]

Within the first 30 seconds:

• shrine dedicated to worthless lazy looking mass produced plastic
• pasty bugman dressing like a 13 year old
• even the clothing that we see is marking the dedication to BRAND
• even does the soyface
• shitty generic tropical house (?) music intro
• generic anime profile picture in the intro

Seriously, are these people made in a lab? Are these people walking psyops? At this point I'm genuinely starting to believe these things.

Not only those, but the music from the start is what i hear from restaurants and common consoomers, peak consoomation there

View attachment 2041805

View attachment 2041806

View attachment 2041807
Holy shit

Oh, cool! For a thousand grand you can unleash your inner edge. I always tend to laugh at this black and red color scheme.

 

[Neet Tokusatsu]

Apologies if someone already got to this one (didnt see it in my scan through but I was fast) but I was just made aware of it. The sheer desperation of the rational in the video is something to behold.

and how many soyfaces can you spot in this screengrab of just SOME of whats on offer on this channel?
View attachment 2039966

Edit to update 3 hours later: He is now aware his channel is getting negative comments on the video and welcomes comments for his next video:


View attachment 2040523

Within the first 30 seconds:

• shrine dedicated to worthless lazy looking mass produced plastic
• pasty bugman dressing like a 13 year old
• even the clothing that we see is marking the dedication to BRAND
• even does the soyface
• shitty generic tropical house (?) music intro
• generic anime profile picture in the intro

Seriously, are these people made in a lab? Are these people walking psyops? At this point I'm genuinely starting to believe these things.

At this point, i think doing drugs has more dignity.

 

[Postal_Rat]

At this point, think doing drugs has more dignity.

Drug addicts at least tend to have interesting stories and experiences

 

[Bubble Ba'ath]

Not to mention be far more likely to create an interesting work of art or music.

Funko fans, like the toys they love, are capable of neither creation nor contribution. They sit surrounded by plastic and living utterly manufactured lives.

 

[Kujo Jotaro]

Whats the resale market like for Funko Pops? I watched the first few minutes of the dude who dropped $6,500, he mentioned the Nichol Bolus pop had anywhere between 60-300 produced. If the low end estimate is correct that is a legitimately limited item, but he also stated it sells for like $200-$300 (which he also said was too high for him). Makes me wonder what the high end of the Funko Pop market is. Considering all of these soyjaks keep their Funko Pops in box/mint condition there's little chance of varying quality, and subsequent pricing tiers accordingly.

For the Consumer varying condition qualities suck nuts because that means if you actually want something mint you're going to be paying a premium, for the seller they're awesome because even if you're stuck with a lower end version the higher tier products will just keep pushing the prices up(something about tides and boats?). You see this with older sports cards and trading cards the most, the amount of time and lack of interest over decades is bound to add wear and tear to most of the card population. I don't see Funko Collectors collectively saying fuck it and unboxing their mountains of plastic anytime soon, and the only people who will have nostalgia for these things will be them so I can't realistically see there being a market for them ever.

 

[Mother puss bucket]

Whats the resale market like for Funko Pops? I watched the first few minutes of the dude who dropped $6,500, he mentioned the Nichol Bolus pop had anywhere between 60-300 produced. If the low end estimate is correct that is a legitimately limited item, but he also stated it sells for like $200-$300 (which he also said was too high for him). Makes me wonder what the high end of the Funko Pop market is. Considering all of these soyjaks keep their Funko Pops in box/mint condition there's little chance of varying quality, and subsequent pricing tiers accordingly.

For the Consumer varying condition qualities suck nuts because that means if you actually want something mint you're going to be paying a premium, for the seller they're awesome because even if you're stuck with a lower end version the higher tier products will just keep pushing the prices up(something about tides and boats?). You see this with older sports cards and trading cards the most, the amount of time and lack of interest over decades is bound to add wear and tear to most of the card population. I don't see Funko Collectors collectively saying fuck it and unboxing their mountains of plastic anytime soon, and the only people who will have nostalgia for these things will be them so I can't realistically see there being a market for them ever.

They're beanie babies 2.0. When the next big internet crash hits the market for soy funko pop videos will go with it.

If I was trapped on a desert island I would kill for these funko collections. Burning them would create so much black smoke you could signal for rescue half the planet away.

 

[kukkahattutäti]

There's just something so very depressing about seeing these adult men show off their piles of plastic junk. There's no joy or any sort of real vitality, just these quick and shallow imitations of happiness before droning on about the next piece of plastic.

Yeah Funkoman, you're a wizard for sure.

 

[Cantercoin]

There's just something so very depressing about seeing these adult men show off their piles of plastic junk. There's no joy or any sort of real vitality, just these quick and shallow imitations of happiness before droning on about the next piece of plastic.

View attachment 2045412

Yeah Funkoman, you're a wizard for sure.

Holy fuck there's funko pops for brands too?

 

[melty]

Holy fuck there's funko pops for brands too?

That caught my eye too.. funko pops of other consumer brand mascots, that's peak consoomer.
Especially for Target, which doesn't even make products really, it's a store to buy other consumer products at. And it's not even a nostalgic mascot? You could at least make an argument for Ronald McDonald or something. This kind of thing makes me think maybe the commies are right about capitalism.