The Tenacious Unicorn Ranch / @TenaciousRanch / Steampunk Penny / Penellope Logue / Phillip Matthew Logue - Don't cry because it ended, laugh because it's still getting worse.

[Tactical Wizard]

Grifts like this usually start at the top of their earning potential and go down. The "fascist militia" was good for a lot of bucks but that kind of victimhood drama can't be sustained indefinitely. They're going to need to keep the sympathy going with new threats and dangers.

Add to that the fact the animal population is now well and truly out of their control and the land has been depleted and they're sitting on the threshold of Really Bad Shit that they're going to have to cover up to look good to prospective donors. Expect future releases from the ranch to take on an increasingly Baghdad Bob-esque quality.

They might even deliberately start conflicts with the locals because the $100k has taught them that conflict brings in the cash and they'll need a more tangible, visible conflict to keep people interested.

I am sitting here and wondering why they aren’t selling their excess livestock. Admittedly, I have zero ranching experience so there’s probably a lot of ins and outs that I’m missing but that seems like a self-licking lollipop. If you need to downsize your herd, why not put them up for sale? Livestock go for a fairly good price per head from what I understand.

 

[Lord of the Large Pants]

I am sitting here and wondering why they aren’t selling their excess livestock. Admittedly, I have zero ranching experience so there’s probably a lot of ins and outs that I’m missing but that seems like a self-licking lollipop. If you need to downsize your herd, why not put them up for sale? Livestock go for a fairly good price per head from what I understand.

I wonder if they're not in good enough condition to sell?

 

[White Devil]

They're probably not selling because transphobic Earl won't pay an insanely inflated price.

That or they'll too stupid to figure out how to sell any livestock.

 

[TerminalTryHard]

I am sitting here and wondering why they aren’t selling their excess livestock. Admittedly, I have zero ranching experience so there’s probably a lot of ins and outs that I’m missing but that seems like a self-licking lollipop. If you need to downsize your herd, why not put them up for sale? Livestock go for a fairly good price per head from what I understand.

Who the fuck would want a bunch of Alpacas? Seriously if you're a serious rancher and not some tranny trying to be quirky what value would they have that a more conventional animal can't provide?

 

[Sexy Senior Citizen]

Who the fuck would want a bunch of Alpacas? Seriously if you're a serious rancher and not some tranny trying to be quirky what value would they have that a more conventional animal can't provide?

According to this website, they're low maintenance and provide luxury wool. Kevin and company probably read it as "do nothing and get money."

 

[Captain Fitzbattleaxe]

I am sitting here and wondering why they aren’t selling their excess livestock. Admittedly, I have zero ranching experience so there’s probably a lot of ins and outs that I’m missing but that seems like a self-licking lollipop. If you need to downsize your herd, why not put them up for sale? Livestock go for a fairly good price per head from what I understand.

There's one big problem with selling the alpacas.

The problem is that nobody wants to buy alpacas, because they're worthless. You're not going to make money off them so no sane farmer wants them. Nobody eats their meat so you can't even sell them to a butcher. This is why the tranch managed to get so many alpacas in the first place, they're so hard to find buyers for that people are giving them away.

If they're lucky enough to have a good show alpaca they could potentially sell that one (presuming that it's visit to troonblinka didn't fuck up to hard) and it's offspring for a decent sum, but those alpacas aren't given away so I doubt that they got one.

Their only real options if they want to get rid of them is either convincing some alpaca rescue to take them or find another sucker. And good luck finding a rescue willing to take around 200 alpacas.

According to this website, they're low maintenance and provide luxury wool. Kevin and company probably read it as "do nothing and get money."

Luxury wool are only worth anything if anybody is willing to buy it. As it stands there's no market for alpaca wool in the US right now, and even those few companies who use it buys it from South America where it's cheaper than what you can reasonably sell it for in the USA.

 

[Coccxys]

They should jump on the "sponsor/name an alpaca" scam. Just $20 a month and you get to name an alpaca and get updates, the updates being the same photo and update for everyone dumb enough to sign up.

 

[Rainbow Frog Army]

There's one big problem with selling the alpacas.

The problem is that nobody wants to buy alpacas, because they're worthless. You're not going to make money off them so no sane farmer wants them. Nobody eats their meat so you can't even sell them to a butcher. This is why the tranch managed to get so many alpacas in the first place, they're so hard to find buyers for that people are giving them away.

If they're lucky enough to have a good show alpaca they could potentially sell that one (presuming that it's visit to troonblinka didn't fuck up to hard) and it's offspring for a decent sum, but those alpacas aren't given away so I doubt that they got one.

Their only real options if they want to get rid of them is either convincing some alpaca rescue to take them or find another sucker. And good luck finding a rescue willing to take around 200 alpacas.

Luxury wool are only worth anything if anybody is willing to buy it. As it stands there's no market for alpaca wool in the US right now, and even those few companies who use it buys it from South America where it's cheaper than what you can reasonably sell it for in the USA.

Wandering back and oh hey fiber!

It's more that only well-bred alpaca are worth much unless you want a cute, angry camelid around. (There's reasons to have such. They're pretty good herd protectors, though you don't need that many.) What the show judges is the quality of wool you're going to get off the alpaca--basically, if you're trying to raise alpaca for wool? The only ones worth their keep are going to be the show ones, and it'd be just plain more cost-efficient to get a couple well-picked show alpaca and increase your herd via their offspring. Put effort into breeding them well and tracking blood lines, and showing them, and you can likely cull your herd by selling off extra.

All of this requires more biology know-how than any troon is going to have. (A lot of the behaviors involved in being a troon are shit that tends not to get put up with by people who know they may be working in labs with anything particularly dangerous. For some reason, nobody wants a fuck-up in a place where fucking up might turn a city into a crater, release a nasty virus, or just poison the general vicinity.)

I will agree that you're probably not going to be able to sustain an alpaca farm on its wool. But there's several in my area where that's not really the main money-maker. As other people have noted, a well-socialized alpaca is cute and people will pay money to be around it.

Except, well, paranoid troons. Honestly, the sole reason I'm not suspecting they're actually cooking meth to make ends meet is because none of them seem capable enough to have not blown themselves up. Dealing maybe, and sampling the wares. But they're definitely not cooking it.

They should jump on the "sponsor/name an alpaca" scam. Just $20 a month and you get to name an alpaca and get updates, the updates being the same photo and update for everyone dumb enough to sign up.

Knowing them?

It'd be the same photo and update every month, of [Insert Alpaca Name Here] curled up in snow (and a bit covered in it), for everybody.

 

[Lubby Smith]

Men at work.

Archive

"We are beloved figures in the community"

 

[Dickens Cider]

Men at work.
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Archive

"We are beloved figures in the community"
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Wait what? Did they lose the thread of their own bullshit? Ok...

 

[Captain Fitzbattleaxe]

I will agree that you're probably not going to be able to sustain an alpaca farm on its wool. But there's several in my area where that's not really the main money-maker. As other people have noted, a well-socialized alpaca is cute and people will pay money to be around it.

The problem with that plan is that the tranch is too far from any major city for that kind of thing. Nor are they located close to a highway or a famous turist attraction. So they're not going to get anywhere near enough visitors for it to work.

Also most alpaca ranches have way less alpacas than the tranch. The most I found was a farm that had 53, the tranch has over 200 (I think, it's possible that a lot of them have died). So I don't know that a petting zoo would be profitable for the tranch even if they had a optimal location for that kind of thing.

I think that you could make money of alpacas if you're inventive enough, but that would require planning it out beforehand. When the trannies bought a piece of land because the house reminded them of star wars instead of basing the purchase on their business plan they already doomed themselves. Likewise when they got a herd of alpacas because they're "queer" instead of how profitable they are they destroyed what little hope there was for them to succeed.

 

[SIGSEGV]

Genuinely surprised that they haven't killed anyone yet.

 

[Rainbow Frog Army]

The problem with that plan is that the tranch is too far from any major city for that kind of thing. Nor are they located close to a highway or a famous turist attraction. So they're not going to get anywhere near enough visitors for it to work.

Also most alpaca ranches have way less alpacas than the tranch. The most I found was a farm that had 53, the tranch has over 200 (I think, it's possible that a lot of them have died). So I don't know that a petting zoo would be profitable for the tranch even if they had a optimal location for that kind of thing.

I think that you could make money of alpacas if you're inventive enough, but that would require planning it out beforehand. When the trannies bought a piece of land because the house reminded them of star wars instead of basing the purchase on their business plan they already doomed themselves. Likewise when they got a herd of alpacas because they're "queer" instead of how profitable they are they destroyed what little hope there was for them to succeed.

I don't think it's the 'too far from any major city (ect)' that really dooms the idea of them doing a petting zoo. I mean, have you been here long?

I'm pretty sure the paranoid larping is the insurmountable problem there.

I also figure it should go without saying to anybody who's been following this thread for a bit that the overall problem is a combination of them being dumber than alpaca manure and needing a severe adjustment to their meds. Off whatever's causing the paranoia and/or onto something to deal with cranking that down. They could fuck up even growing actual money trees. (Or having a 'farm' which makes its money by being paid to not grow anything.)

 

[stupid frog]

Genuinely surprised that they haven't killed anyone yet.

That we know of...

 

[Tactical Wizard]

Genuinely surprised that they haven't killed anyone yet.

That we know of...

I'm not. This was all a grift from start to finish, from claiming to have beaten a TERF that just happened to be bumming around MAGA Country to suddenly talking about being trusted members of the community? Yeah, this is all for public consumption.

 

[Comandante Marcos]

There is a tourist stop near Freeport, ME that's worth a visit when you're done taking picture with the big boot at LL Bean called The Desert of Maine. tldr is that a family of farmers in the 1800s over-grazed and improperly cultivated the land stripping the topsoil. It exposed a sand deposit from 10,000 years ago. The sand patch grew and overtook the entire farm due to the lack of topsoil. It's pretty wild to see a legit desert in the middle of a conifer forest.

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The Tranch is starting with a much less robust ecosystem.

For any kiwis who are too autistic to scroll to the bottom of Wikipedia articles, here's the official website of the Desert of Maine:

Home | Desert of Maine | Things to Do in Freeport

Overview of the Desert of Maine tourist attraction and historical landmark in Freeport ME

www.desertofmaine.com

Most of the site is down right now because the area is undergoing major upgrades probably due to the people running it using the plague lockdowns as a good excuse to do so. There's a few pix still up though.
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I'm thinking that in the Tranch's area of Colorado the only thing below that dirt is, eventually, just bare rock. Dunno what kind of rock. I dunno jack shit about Colorado geology.

The major problem for the neighbors is that eventually the dust bowl on the Tranch will start to spread-36 acres is really not that much land, especially with 200+ alpacas and several hundred sheep and a gazillion chickens and godbear knows how many (four legged) dogs and whatever else is out there. Even after the troons an hero each other into oblivion the locals are gonna have to deal with that dust bowl.

A few pages back in the thread I caught a pic showing a haboob (dust storm, the word is Arabic or something) on the Tranch. If the Tranch starts regularly producing dust storms the locals out there are fucked, as you can see from Google Earth many of the parcels are inhabited despite the tough desert climate, and once that dust starts blowing around it will kill literally everything out there.

Penny paid, what, $225k for that land? That's a lot of money for a 36 acre parcel of desert. The neighbors likely have similar or greater amounts sunk into their parcels, and then the Tranch is gonna eat the whole fucking area up and spit it out and we're talking a fuckton of money down the drain. The troons will all be long dead before then, of course, but as the Desert of Maine shows shitty land management can linger on a geologic time scale.

This may be all captain obvious shit to most kiwis on this thread, but it needs to be said. One year in and a bunch of troon cityfags have munched up god knows how much Colorado desert on a geological time scale (long after our whole fucking civilization will be long forgotten). This is why San Francisco refugees buying up all the land around Mount Shasta has the locals so pissed, that and the fact that the newcomers are all faggots and treat the locals like shit. (See a pattern?)

 

[Vaclav]

This may be all captain obvious shit to most kiwis on this thread, but it needs to be said. One year in and a bunch of troon cityfags have munched up god knows how much Colorado desert on a geological time scale (long after our whole fucking civilization will be long forgotten).

Congratulations, trannies. In spite of your inability to breed you've found a way to leave a mark on the world that'll persist long after we're gone.

 

[AMHOLIO]

Congratulations, trannies. In spite of your inability to breed you've found a way to leave a mark on the world that'll persist long after we're gone.

The inevitable electric failure fire can't come soon enough. The faster the project fails, the better for both everyone around them AND the troons themselves.

 

[AnOminous]

Men at work.

It is extremely feminine to be shoving penis shaped objects into Mother Earth in a lazy, half-assed way. Why is it that fucking troons ALWAYS do this shit? Are they completely oblivious to their toxic and incredibly visible masculinity?

 

[Miss Misery]

LOL no concrete and no levels. That fence is going to be as crooked as they are.