Containment Random Chris Updates

[Tikbalang]

Chris got his book but was so terrified of the pickle on the cover that he had to make an even worse cover. Also his face is really starting to look like Barb as Snorlax before Chris restricted her diet to only weight loss shakes.

Now that he has the book, how many pages do you think he read so far before he dumps in the hoard? I say zero.

 

[jawsome]

Here's the whole damn insane thread. My favorite part: "Everyone Had their chance to actually have me, but they didn’t. Leaving being remainingly satisfied with just Imagining their penises up my ass, or my penis up their asses and vaginas and cumming on their chests and faces."

And new CWCisms: "overweighted belly and butt," "shit his rocks off by his own hands"

Angry at the past, miserable in the present, clinging to a future will never happen.

Chris can throw out all this bullshit about positivity and self-love but posts like this hint that all is not great in CWCville.

It's sad to watch. The power to change it is in his hand, but he chooses not to.



Anyway, get a job, you retarded faggot!

 

[tyrannosaurus_chex]

I can barely understand what he says at first glance - it makes me feel like I'm not wearing glasses and end up staring at the screen, trying to decipher blurry, unintelligible gibberish!
But, holy shit...loneliness can really do a number to a healthy person's mind, let along his sorry excuse for one; it's scary to watch him unravel more with every post.

 

[A Grey Cat]

The author of that book may be a ween but at least they finally gave us some dairy out of the old cow at last. The tweets were just so boring. I. Honestly kinda hoping Chris will do a chapter reading like with the snt vs sonichu fic or at least a video review of the book.

Here's the whole damn insane thread. My favorite part: "Everyone Had their chance to actually have me, but they didn’t. Leaving being remainingly satisfied with just Imagining their penises up my ass, or my penis up their asses and vaginas and cumming on their chests and faces."

And new CWCisms: "overweighted belly and butt," "shit his rocks off by his own hands"

Did..... Did Chris and Kevin gibes switch brains for a second there? Cause that legit sounds like something the am hole would ramble on about just with even more autistic brain rot than usual

 

[Pvt. Real G]

Spoiler: Thirsty Chris

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Edit: ninja'ed by @The Nameless One

just as i said before, HORNY CHRIS IS BACK BABY!!! LETS FUCKING GOOOOO!!

but that aside, i think the book really stirred Chris into thinking about his life again, and again making him realized how lonely he is.

 

[Doctor of Autism]

The one thing that baffles me about Chris is how in his incoherent rant of nonsense, he acts like he was this prized catch everyone is missing out on despite the fact he is a poor childish idiot who never grew up, lacks any income, or any sense of hygiene that is only famous for being the biggest idiot that could possibly be out there.

 

[Mariposa Electrique]

The one thing that baffles me about Chris is how in his incoherent rant of nonsense, he acts like he was this prized catch everyone is missing out on despite the fact he is a poor childish idiot who never grew up, lacks any income, or any sense of hygiene that is only famous for being the biggest idiot that could possibly be out there.

Not to mention that he was hideous before the Tomgirl saga and now, he's turned into a Lovecraftian abomination that can melt the genitals off both genders if he tries to kiss you.

I Have travelled through the Iron Curtain for YEARS"

He was talking about Barb's vagina.


Anyway, somethings got a bug up Chris's, and I think it's hilarious. You know, the sex with women is a stretch, but all this talk about wanting to get fucked in the ass and begging people for money to use toward surgeries that aren't even possible is a knee slapper. I bet he thinks the merge is going to give him internal female sex organs because he can't afford this imaginary surgery in the real world. That stuff about wanting to have sex with a double sided dildo is just disgusting and proof of how porn and autogynephelia have rotted his brain.

 

[Picnic_Boy]

The one thing that baffles me about Chris is how in his incoherent rant of nonsense, he acts like he was this prized catch everyone is missing out on despite the fact he is a poor childish idiot who never grew up, lacks any income, or any sense of hygiene that is only famous for being the biggest idiot that could possibly be out there.

Anyone who doubts that Chris is degenerating needs to look no further than his Tweets for proof. It's like, when he wants to convey an idea, all the associated words he can think of bounce around his brain like marbles in a game of Hungry Hungry Hippos, and he just spits out whatever he can catch.

 

[Zebedee]

The ‘iron curtain’ got a chortle out of me, this nigga is really dropping references to the Berlin Wall

 

[Flavius Anthemius]

The ‘iron curtain’ got a chortle out of me, this nigga is really dropping references to the Berlin Wall

It's a phrase the idea guys threw around and yeah I've always found it fucking hilarious as well when you know the intended meaning of those words (cold war era talk that Chris has no idea about any of that sort of stuff, remember way back when he thought Molvania was a real country).

He's used words like the dimensional curtain as well, so he doesn't really have any concrete clue what he's even talking about when you pick apart his twitter jargon, and that Joshua Wise has had one of the biggest impacts on him compared to any other troll when you consider how Chris has been keeping up this charade for so long.

 

[AssJack]

The author justified his work on the book on the CWC subreddit, took the post down because people thought he was leeching off of Chris.

Here is that removed post: https://www.removeddit.com/r/ChrisC...rote_a_600page_book_comparing_chris_chan_and/

 

[The Dude]

Here's the whole damn insane thread. My favorite part: "Everyone Had their chance to actually have me, but they didn’t. Leaving being remainingly satisfied with just Imagining their penises up my ass, or my penis up their asses and vaginas and cumming on their chests and faces."

And new CWCisms: "overweighted belly and butt," "shit his rocks off by his own hands"

So, the main things I took away from this whole, long, psychotic rant is that Chris believes that the trolls who were messing with him all those years were in fact fantasizing about having sex with him (regardless of if they were male or female), and he is angry that none of them actually ever did have sex with him. He's lost his ever-fucking mind. If he really thinks that this is true, that all the trolls genuinely wanted to bump uglies with him, then he's become an absolute lunatic. Ironically, the only person he has had sex with was imagining that Chris was someone else during the act to keep herself from vomiting all over Chris. It also shows how even after all these years, Chris still doesn't understand why trolls fucked with him and why people have kept tabs on him for all this time. There's a huge difference between documenting Chris having to pay someone so he could finally lose his virginity, and a troll voluntarily climbing into the sack with him "for content". One is hilarious, and the other is pathetic and gross.

 

[TheShortWaveCerealKiller]

So, the main things I took away from this whole, long, psychotic rant is that Chris believes that the trolls who were messing with him all those years were in fact fantasizing about having sex with him (regardless of if they were male or female), and he is angry that none of them actually ever did have sex with him. He's lost his ever-fucking mind. If he really thinks that this is true, that all the trolls genuinely wanted to bump uglies with him, then he's become an absolute lunatic. Ironically, the only person he has had sex with was imagining that Chris was someone else during the act to keep herself from vomiting all over Chris. It also shows how even after all these years, Chris still doesn't understand why trolls fucked with him and why people have kept tabs on him for all this time. There's a huge difference between documenting Chris having to pay someone so he could finally lose his virginity, and a troll voluntarily climbing into the sack with him "for content". One is hilarious, and the other is pathetic and gross.

Its pretty obvious Chris went off the deep end when it comes to trolls a long time ago, it used to be trolls went at him for hate, then jealousy, then attraction and now full on sexual fantasy. But thing is we've seen Chris do this before, where he takes a stance on something and then in a year or less he changes it to something ENTIRELY different due to his new surroundings/ circumstances. His gay hatred, his racism (which I am 100% sure hes never out grown), even his stance on Sonic Boom have all been things he stuck to his guns to but the suddenly decided one day that he doesnt. Granted this rant in particular feels like its something put in his head by people he speaks to which is all sorts of wack.

 

[BigTubboWithLittleChina]

Here's the whole damn insane thread. My favorite part: "Everyone Had their chance to actually have me, but they didn’t. Leaving being remainingly satisfied with just Imagining their penises up my ass, or my penis up their asses and vaginas and cumming on their chests and faces."

And new CWCisms: "overweighted belly and butt," "shit his rocks off by his own hands"

That feels more to me like someone's hacked his account again. I really can't see him writing stuff like that. He'd be going on about pickles and chinas, for a start.

'Now This is a cover art'....no, Chris, it's an ugly piece of shit that doesn't deserve to be stuck on a fridge door.

Also:

Chris: Even da gradest psychics an' mediums agree wid me dat da Ponies, Smurfs, Kim Possible an' Magi-Chan are real!

Psychics & Mediums: Ummmm....sure, Chris, whatever you say, Chris... (back away slowly and avoid making eye contact)

Oh, and he's 'overburdened with Kindness and Love'. His track record suggests otherwise.

 

[Flavius Anthemius]

That feels more to me like someone's hacked his account again. I really can't see him writing stuff like that. He'd be going on about pickles and chinas, for a start.

'Now This is a cover art'....no, Chris, it's an ugly piece of shit that doesn't deserve to be stuck on a fridge door.

Also:

Chris: Even da gradest psychics an' mediums agree wid me dat da Ponies, Smurfs, Kim Possible an' Magi-Chan are real!

Psychics & Mediums: Ummmm....sure, Chris, whatever you say, Chris... (back away slowly and avoid making eye contact)

Wouldn't be the first time his twitter account has been compromised (sometimes willingly) that's for sure. I know his ego is pretty huge even to this day, but I've never seen him write and elucidate that the trolls went to such great lengths to troll and mess with him all because they, wanted to get in his pants...

 

[Mariposa Electrique]

Wouldn't be the first time his twitter account has been compromised (sometimes willingly) that's for sure. I know his ego is pretty huge even to this day, but I've never seen him write and elucidate that the trolls went to such great lengths to troll and mess with him all because they, wanted to get in his pants...

This is Chris. It takes Chris tier talent to be this pretentious, arrogant, and nonsensical. I'm sure he's always secretly thought people are so mean to him because they wanted to bang him.

 

[Kingfisher9000]

Spoiler: Thirsty Chris

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Edit: ninja'ed by @The Nameless One

I fucking knew it!!!

That’s not it, he thinks trolls get turned on by trolling. That’s why he talks about people having a “hate fetish”. He learned the word hateboner one day and took it completely literally because he’s autistic.

EDIT:

This is Chris. It takes Chris tier talent to be this pretentious, arrogant, and nonsensical. I'm sure he's always secretly thought people are so mean to him because they wanted to bang him.

I don’t think he can imagine anybody being motivated by anything other than sex.

 

[Mariposa Electrique]

I fucking knew it!!!

Yes because it is continuous with his ego and homosexual urges. The fact that he drones on and on about getting fucked by trolls makes me think he's going to rape a young man who intentionally misgenders him on Twitter.

 

[The American Hedgehog]

Chris wants someone to write a romance fanfic about him.

 

[No_one]

Chris wants someone to write a romance fanfic about him.

Can Chris get any lazier? Now he wants people to "chronicle" his hanky-panky with his imaginary harem instead of making comics or even pony cards about it. And when someone does it (we know it's a matter of time) his only reaction will be, "No it wasn't like that, it happened in an alternative timeline/dimension."