Tabletop Roleplaying Games (D&D, Pathfinder, CoC, ETC.)

[Adamska]

You guys got any more stories of crazy DM's or players, first or second hand?

I mean, I was once in a group where the half-orc Goatse'd someone to death, but that's about it.

I have a couple from my VtM game, pick one for me to describe:

The time my players instagibbed a man they were trying to knock out.
The time I gave someone the corpse of Jesus Christ, lord and savior.
The time an assassination happened at Sears.
The time one of the two BBEG got slaughtered in one move.
The time one of the players destroyed a person's true faith.

 

[Sable]

The time my players instagibbed a man they were trying to knock out.

This one.

Our group accidentally had a bartender burn down the city and try to take over the kingdom because of a single roll, so accidental hilarity is the best hilarity, thank you.

 

[Adamska]

Right then, the situation was that they were looking into a gang that was allegedly giving weaponry to the Sabbat, which I made into a whole new beast mind you. They in particular were looking for how the fuck they got shit like SMGs and rifles. The party was composed of two combat oriented Brujah (they get boons to fighting shit) a face-man/brains Tzimisce (anarch game, though he tended to play more of a thief), another face-man (Ravnos, he was in for a few sessions, then fucked off since he preferred more serious games), and a LaSombra investigator (who changed two characters and played for maybe five sessions; he just couldn't show up).

After a very weird and failed attempt to enter the compound via seduction from our two lady Brujah, the Ravnos and the two Sabbat wannabes decide to split off from the two and did some splinter cell shit and got in after icing a guy. The two Brujah go fuck it due to this OOC and murder the gangsta and handles the alarm they set off in the process, since the thugs always had a second watcher and I never played them to be dumb. So anyways the two (eventually three when the Tzimisce and LaSombra split off from the Ravnos) groups go through the compound in their own ways; the Ravnos ghouls the gang lieutenant, and pacifies his area by having the lieutenant order down his gangstas.

The two Sabbat rejects also get their place in the sun, since they pulled something about as awesome. A guy managed to spot them and is about to draw some more of the gang from inside the building, since not all of the gangstas know of the stand down order, and they double lariat and decapitate him to silence him. Neither of them are really good at fighting, but the dice went their way, and allowed them to pull that off. It was fucking great.

But it wasn't as great as the two Brujah, who used their speed and strength to fucking slay their opponents. As mentioned, they managed to get the alarm on them though, and this culminates in three more guys coming out to add their fire. By this point they metagame a bit, since they know that our Ravnos here pacified the lieutenant, that these guys can count as resources now, so killing them is kind of a waste. They decide to quickly knock out one of the thugs by doing the 3D, that wrestling move. They both crit with their dice, not only with all of their dice hitting, but several of them being 10s. Since humans tend to be frail, I just go that they gibbed him, since adding all of those dice to their insane damage rolls basically merits chunky salsa IMO. They are then covered in blood looking down the other two guys. They try to intimidate them, and I roll willpower to simulate it. They needed a 9 to not sob and surrender, they both get tens. So I have them foam at the mouth while calling them whores and shoot them. Two deaths later, the fight is totally resolved.

Speaking of hilarity: I forgot one tale: How a gang surrendered to imaginary SWAT members.

 

[Tricksy Fuckin Hobbitses]

You guys got any more stories of crazy DM's or players, first or second hand?

I mean, I was once in a group where the half-orc Goatse'd someone to death, but that's about it.

I demand you punish my curiosity and give details on this goatse death.

Let's see ...one time my Paladin accidentally destroyed the entire Nordic plane of existence.

There was a time my Fire Genasi rogue (whose name I got from a generator: Keshadakshi. He was affectionately called Kesha, and I regret nothing) laid waste to two towns in the span of two hours without lifting a finger - though that wasn't exactly fair. The guy DMing had never DM'd before, and Kesha is a super intense character, I don't think he really knew how to handle it.

 

[Adamska]

As a player I once held up a session for an hour because my Hobgoblin Cleric mistook the Elves throwing flowers and cheering him and the group into their hippie kingdom as an insult. I even asked if I could use a Knowledge roll to see if I could understand their flower language to understand said insult, so I could reciprocate. All while our ninja was consulting the Wizard if we could make wine out of the flowers to sell it to gullible people. In retrospect I should've let it go since we had a new player, but for some reason I was really into playing my brain damaged semi-insane LE character and really wanted to know this.

Eventually I privately figured that they were mocking our mortality since the flowers they threw indicated youth if I remember right.

 

[Sable]

I demand you punish my curiosity and give details on this goatse death.
.

In retrospect I was telling things wrongly; the Goatse wasn't done to a dead guard but to a mushroom-man whose skin we tore off.

Everyone in the vicinity had to pass a will save, and the Rogue failed and had horrible nightmares where she was trapped in an endless cave...

I'd tell more of the story, but I only remember dribs and drabs. There's some cool elements, but I can't really tell it in a way that doesn't come off stupid, the chatlog is pretty hard reading.

Of note, the Goatse Orc once accidentally impregnated himself with a disease ray and the rogue had to cut the unborn fetus out before it became an issue.

 

[Adamska]

If the DM wanted to be extra nuts or punish that insanity, they could've made the mushroom man an Arseplomancer @Sable .

 

[Sable]

If the DM wanted to be extra nuts or punish that insanity, they could've made the mushroom man an Arseplomancer @Sable .

He was too large to be an arseplomancer, and we were too low a level- it takes awhile to be an effective arseplomancer.

 

[Adamska]

He was too large to be an arseplomancer, and we were too low a level- it takes awhile to be an effective arseplomancer.

No, I meant the fact that the thing the Orc shoved up his ass could've pulled that shit off, especially if the DM was annoyed with that type of behavior. Though I don't know the specifics of that group; like if the Orc player was the one that weirded people out or if that was normal for the group.

 

[Sable]

No, I meant the fact that the thing the Orc shoved up his ass could've pulled that shit off, especially if the DM was annoyed with that type of behavior. Though I don't know the specifics of that group; like if the Orc player was the one that weirded people out or if that was normal for the group.

Trust me, it was normal for the group. I think the DM ended up joking that a family of albino dwarf succubi were living in his colon.

Guy's actually a pretty good player and a decent DM too- albeit one of the kind to use trollish/devious traps. Not unfair traps of course, but so long as you were vigilant you were fine.

That was Pathfinder though, dunno if that makes a difference. I prefer Pathfinder overall.

It was pretty much the same for most of the players actually, it just ended up silly and we went with it.

We ended up doing a different 4e game with the same DM and we kept it pretty much on track.

 

[Hummingbird]

Speaking Sisters of Rapture that I mentioned in the SJW Art and Extremes thread, I've played off and on with the idea of a male version (Brothers of Ecstasy). I think the idea of love, sexuality (that isn't your Least I Could Do (a webcomic) type) and beauty don't have to be solely related to women.

 

[Sable]

Speaking Sisters of Rapture that I mentioned in the SJW Art and Extremes thread, I've played off and on with the idea of a male version (Brothers of Ecstasy). I think the idea of love, sexuality (that isn't your Least I Could Do (a webcomic) type) and beauty don't have to be solely related to women.

Interesting.

Reading the synopsis on the page, I can see why SJW's or feminists would latch on to it.

If I had to make a character, he'd be a wasteful stoner who through the course of the adventure gains purpose and is no longer targeted by succubi.

 

[Sable]

Sorry to double-post, but on Friday I played my first Pathfinder game since January.

It was a PFS game (levels 1-2 in this case) and our party consisted of a negative-energy Efreet Cleric, a level 2 Investigator, a Wizard, a Sorcerer, an Unchained Summoner and an Unchained Rogue.

You'll notice there were no fighters or the like, so the Investigator and I were on Melee duty. Said investigator was our only healer too, with a wand of healing.

Going in to the Emerald Spire, we notice that there's magical darkness inside the tower- only one of us has dark vision and only I bought a torch- were it not for the 3 Castys having light we'd be doomed.

Aside from the light we had one major enemy. Clanky? No. Rapidfire-point-blank-with-a-composite-bow-Bugbear? Also no.

The entire floor was difficult terrain.
"I take a 5ft step" "You can't" occurred quite a lot.

We sliced a Goblin in half with a bear-trap. Seriously, low-level PF? Bear trap, it'll mess up your day. 2d6 damage, halves your speed, something like a 22dc disable device to escape or a Str check of 20. It costs 2 gold.

It's a CR1 trap.

 

[Sanshain]

I've played a few games of 3.5 and Pathfinder on roll20. I much prefer text roleplaying to actual audible roleplay; it just flows more naturally for me and the kinds of groups I generally play with. Lately I've been looking at other systems. Has anyone here ever played Giant Guardian Generation, by any chance?

 

[Sable]

Not heard of it, what's it like?

Has anyone tried running a kiwi tabletop before?

And yeah, in some ways I prefer text to speech. Speech is often for OOC stuff.

 

[Adamska]

I still stand by to the notion of sessions rather than thread based stuff. Mainly because my only experiences with them over the years were unmitigated disasters involving sues that could be both happy and sad at the same time due to shitastic writing and most threads were mostly just standing there monologuing. Also they had a disturbing habit of never being in danger for foolish acts since they operated by "nuh-uh, I'm still fine because -insert bullshit-" here. I'm a generous DM, and even I frowned at the clownery that were all the games that I've ever played of that type.

 

[Sable]

I thought you meant text-chat in Roll20/Virtual Table/Fantasy Grounds rather than like, a thread game.
I'd only play one of those as a last resort!

C'mon, there's not even a map- for something like Paranoia that's ok, but otherwise? Narp.

 

[Sanshain]

Single-thread roleplaying games are basically cancer given digital form. Forum roleplays can work, and I've seen them done well before, but I certainly prefer instant-messaging over any other format. I know a few very good IM programs specifically designed for roleplaying, too. Having the right platform counts just as much as the content involved.

As for GGG, it's basically a free rulebook for running games themed around giant mecha anime. I believe it originated on 1d4 chan, but for my money it's actually an excellent system, with a ton of extremely amusing references for anybody even remotely aware of the genre. You can find it here.

 

[Sable]

As for GGG, it's basically a free rulebook for running games themed around giant mecha anime.

Thanks for explaining, but giant mecha anime is probably one of my least favourite settings ever (and that's only because I find Grimdark Spess Mereens worse) so I'm likely to pass on it. I do know some people who're into that sort of thing though I'll pass it on to them.

Ever tried the Fate system? It's very flexible. I friend and I once invented a steam punk setting where the villain was planned to be Gnome Hitler. It was a lot of fun to come up with, we invented a religion and everything!

Sorry, going off target. I will say I'm not 100% against GMA when there's nothing else to play- I played some Tenra Bansho Zero before. That was more good because the DM was good/funny rather than liking the setting. I think the whole thing ran off've D6 rolls.

Generally I play factions that want mechs destroyed. Bonus points if I'm some sort of religious fanatic.

 

[Sweet and Savoury]

Want some balls to the wall crazy fun times?

Run an Exalted campaign with semi-serious folks. With Exalted you can pull of super crazy stunts as long as you have a DM that can match the players in creativity.

Sigh...good times....why'd I move again.