POLICE ISSUE A STATEMENT

[The Last Stand]

A new era of Chris will begin. It was foretold.

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REMASTER IT FOR PS5

 

[Strelok]

The fact that he's being held with no bond / bail should be an indication that this is something major. That could change after his first court appearance though.

It appears in virginia violating a protective order is cause for bail/bond being denied. So it could be as simple as the $750.

 

[Jan Ciągwa]

The only merge currently on is the merge between Chris and the prison cell.

 

[Stocking Anarchy]

What's the prize for the kiwi who gets Chris's car?

The special privilege of being able to destroy it.

Specifically, wipe every single trace of it off the Earth unless you have a hazmat suit on.

 

[SaltyFanta]

No way, he's too dumb to be able to even find it

With the power of Weens Chris probably has all manner of illegal stuff sent to him.

 

[tropic]

No way, he's too dumb to be able to even find it

Back in the 2000's it was around everywhere, even on limewire while you were trying to download a song.
I wouldn't be surprised if he had stuff saved

 

[LargeChoonger]

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I had the same thought. Chris is definitely aware of reality and can function, albeit unreliably. So I'd err on the side of caution and not give him a slap on the wrist if I were the court

 

[102]

Gender Correctors, a Physiognomatic Compilation

Irish guy (he/they)

This guy has wojack memes and "kamala is a #girlboss" links all over his page

this guy camped outside a Pokemon convention last year

edit: last guy in this post was trolling; removed.

 

[Angie Wormwood]

At this point weather Barb covers for him or not doesn't matter. If they find proof of sexual assault and Barb wasn't throught to be in her right mind to consent I think any logical prosecutor would ignore any defense she gives Chris.

More than anything I hope they got those text messages because he says Barb said no in those text messages. So, there is your smoking gun right there.

Honestly, no. Him saying X is nothing more than hearsay. It has to come as a statement from her or some kind of proof that she was raped. Without a DNA kit, it's pretty easy to get rape claims dismissed. A statement can get ripped apart by a decent defense attorney.

Even consensual sex produces tearing and bruising that makes it difficult at best to distinguish from rape. You'll need the presence of DNA or other markers of a sign of struggle like DNA under the fingernails, signs of violence, or even some kind of recording (if it's present).

 

[Seaweed Chips]

He's going to get shanked for being a rapist.

A mother-rapist, too. He's going to need to be in solitary for his own safety.

 

[Techpriest]

Do they need a warrent if he is already under arrest? Genuine question from a genuine idiot.

I'm probably five pages behind, but yes. Yes they do. Cops need a warrant to search anything without your permission.

 

[Professor Iris]

Do you think he's intelligent enough to know how to access CP though? Would probably just be drawn stuff which is fine in America is it not?

He was more than mentally capable enough to hatch that scheme of fucking his helpless mother (with an instructional guide, mind you) AND take money out of her account when things got hairy, so I'm not going to rule that out whatsoever.

I'm pretty sure that he has plenty of lewd drawings of underaged characters saved on his computer. My memory may be sketchy, but there was a screenshot which busted him 'liking' an unsavory drawing on Twitter. The police aren't going to really consider that shit, though, because last I checked, we aren't in Australia, where said drawings definitely ARE considered Captain Picards and will get you in severe trouble.

I don't know if the cops will have cause to search his computers, though. The crimes committed aren't of an electronic nature, and there's no reason to believe that he was harbouring anything related to the case at hand. However, I could be wrong.

On an unrelated note, this might be me stating the obvious, but you can't convince me that he does not yank his tugboat to his Rosechu characters.
Hell, he probably jerked it off when he put Zapina in his comic as a candidate to strip.

 

[Lupin The Turd]

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Boomers need to be kept away from social media. They have no idea the autistic shitstorm they brought to themselves by bringing this shit up on their facebook.
>he
Here we go
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Quit trying to be hip and cool and just post the notices on a static website.

Nothing hip or cool about Facebook, it's just commonly used for police announcements because it's easily accessible and shared. Also probably cheaper than hosting a website.

 

[RyujiHirasaka]

I was more thinking that some random ween would send CP to Chris, possibly just to get him in trouble now.

I honestly doubt it chris would intentionally look at or even seek out real CP but this is a genuine possibility and i'm surprised something similar hasn't happened already

 

[Raze]

I'm just waiting for the betting pool on what they're gonna find on his devices
I could legitimately see Chris justifying cp if he could justify motherfucking

I recently made the mistake of saying "This cannot possibly get worse" before Chris stole from Barb's account.
We're all trying to speculate on what might be on that PC, but I think it'd be best we all keep this in mind:

No matter what it is he has on that computer, none of us could ever possibly guess the full extent of how terrible and awkward it truly is.

If/when we find out, our expectations are going to be blown out of the water. Illegal or not. You all know for a fact there will be shit on there not a single one of us would've ever possibly guessed in a million years. Be it weird, degenerate, illegal, or otherwise. I'm not even going to try.

 

[The Cunting Death]

Back in the 2000's it was around everywhere, even on limewire while you were trying to download a song.
I wouldn't be surprised if he had stuff saved

Yeah if you're retarded enough to download anything with r@ygold in the name

 

[Absolon]

A shitty car.

just IMAGINE the smell

 

[Smash That Kike Button]

I really do feel bad for his aunt and uncle I mean think about it they just hear Chris Chan is kicked out of the house think okay I will help our nephew when he shows up they find out why he's kicked out of the house and now all of a sudden they're plummeted into this autistic situation that they honestly had nothing to do with

Same with his brother Cole even though he cut off contact with Barb and Chris he is still loosely connected to this situation and he cannot escape that

Idk it’s the little details like Chris being more famous then Cole Smithey ever will be that make me smile

 

[The Final Troondown]

10cquarters says the teflon tard gets off with a minor charge and a few months in jail/no jail time

mia hamm is probably sitting in a dark room somewhere necking rotgut and loading a revolver with a single bullet

 

[Rungle]

Chris his shenanigans is like the beginning of a lovecraft story.
1.Man believes hes a God or has been chosen by gods because of the delusions he has.
2. Man gets arrested for following his believes and harming an innocent family member.
3. Man gets arrested and yells claims nonsense like he is a woman and someshit about a sonichu
?. everything is he said was true, board up your doors, the elder one rises