Off-Topic Losing people to transgenderism support thread - Support group for trans widows and other people who lost loved ones to troonism

[Drums Into Space]

The thread is this one:
SRS and GRS surgeons and associated horrors - the medical community of experimental surgeons, the secret community of home butchers

An all you can eat buffet of body horrors.

Thank you. I am now at peace tho I’m not gonna let his shitty life choices get in the way of more important thoughts and ideas. I hope he joins the 41% because really in the end that’s all he’s good for acting like this.

 

[SaltyFanta]

Had a friend who came out as trans, showed them a bunch of Benjamin Boyce interviews with detransitioners.

He hasn't mentioned anything trans in a while and seems to be working out more often.

 

[Dread First]

There are a few people I know IRL who've trooned out, but I was never really that close to them. They were mostly people I shared a few college courses with or met through mutual friends. Of course, my stories are broadly similar to everyone else who posted in this thread: timid, awkward, or otherwise dysfunctional men (and the occasional ftm) on the periphery of a friend group slowly starts to troon out and lose their senses of humour while surrounding themselves with an echo chamber of enablers. I have a few screenshots of their lunacy that I've shared in group chats where we all lamented what they'd become. At the same time though, college is basically an environment where you barely stay in contact with anyone after one semester so it wasn't any real loss to us in the end.

Still, there is one person who got outed for being a predator. What's worse is that this person entered a position of power at Penn State shortly after trooning out. I don't know the specifics behind how he got outed, but I do know that they're still in that position of power at Penn State and that the original confessions website got taken down fairly recently. Sadly, that was my mistake for not archiving it, otherwise I'd share.

Actually... I did archive it! I found these screenshots. Unfortunately, I couldn't track down the link to the original confessions website.

Powerword: Caleb Maier
Other aliases: Sophia Maier, Callie Maier, Cee Maier

Miscellaneous links & archives:

https://cas.la.psu.edu/people/crm49 (archive)
https://www.collegian.psu.edu/featu...cle_f6dbcdb0-0cb1-11ea-8b8f-83d57ed65a9a.html (archive)

***

Disclaimer: I have never met this person IRL. I've only seen them through interactions on social media between mutual friends. Just for the record: he first identified as bisexual before coming out as nonbinary and then fully committing to the AGP trans look. He's also a retarded vegan who thinks that minorities who make the quinoa and soy he shoves down his throat have less rights than the animals that make up the shitty polyester and nylon in his clothes.

If you're in Pennsylvania and you're thinking about attending Penn State, do yourself a favour and don't go anywhere near there. Not while this fuckface is still in a position of power.

 

[Sperghetti]

It's hard in nerd social groups, too, because there's that easy tolerance for fat polyamorists, Wiccans, lolbertarians and spoonies--and if the new troons were less insidious, that would continue to work itself out.

The assumed nerd default is that you are pro-troon. If you actually speak up and say "my belief is that this is a social contagion masking a real problem" -- well, now you're the weird and obsessive person for bringing it up, and there's no way to tell if the person you're talking to is a True Believer or another person who was staying quiet out of self-preservation. If you disclosed to a handmaiden, say goodbye to GURPS on Thursday.

Yeah, I think nerd social groups were especially susceptible to this (and social justice stuff in general) because of ol’ Geek Social Fallacy #1. Being “accepting” is a matter of pride, particularly when it comes to people who are normally on the fringes of society.

I honestly think that the reason so many KF users seem to have a particular hatred of troons is because most people here also seem to be involved in at least one nerd community and are sick of seeing this one particular group trampling all over it, making demands and bossing everybody around like they’re the mob. “Nice community you have here, would be a shame if you all got cancelled for transphobia.”

 

[ロボ﹏§¤r﹏h¶rœ]

I honestly think that the reason so many KF users seem to have a particular hatred of troons is because most people here also seem to be involved in at least one nerd community and are sick of seeing this one particular group trampling all over it, making demands and bossing everybody around like they’re the mob. “Nice community you have here, would be a shame if you all got cancelled for transphobia.”

I'm still seething over r/animemes.

 

[Drums Into Space]

He hasn't mentioned anything trans in a while and seems to be working out more often.

You’d be surprised how much just working out can change your life for the better. (PL sorry) kicked a coke habit and the only things that keeps me from going back are my faith and my workout regiment. It’s better than any drug or coping skill out there.

 

[ImFuckingBored]

You know how easy it is to just cut people off? Snap I don't care anymore.

Get on that shit. Being able to stop feeling for people on a dime is amazing.

 

[AMHOLIO]

You know how easy it is to just cut people off? Snap I don't care anymore.

Get on that shit. Being able to stop feeling for people on a dime is amazing.

Teach us your ways, some of us are floundering over here.

 

[ImFuckingBored]

Teach us your ways, some of us are floundering over here.

It's pretty easy. You just compartmentalize people and then as you put them out of your mind you can stop thinking about them so much. I can also turn off my emotions so that helps too.

 

[Dread First]

Teach us your ways, some of us are floundering over here.

Speaking as someone who's more or less silently renounced his support for LGBTQ+ in general, trust me when I say that the more lunacy you witness, the less sympathy you'll have for these people. Sympathy is the hallmark of a good friend, but remember: good friends get abused too.

I understand that some people have deep friendships with others who unfortunately made the choice to join the 41% club. However, this doesn't change the fact that they probably won't change if they're well into adulthood and they still choose to remain a tranny.

Trannies will literally cut you off without hesitation for the most arbitrary reasons. Why bother keeping such people in your life if they're willing to cut you off for infinitely pettier reasons?

 

[Protistology]

It's pretty easy. You just compartmentalize people and then as you put them out of your mind you can stop thinking about them so much. I can also turn off my emotions so that helps too.

Too edgy for me

 

[Drums Into Space]

I can also turn off my emotions so that helps too.

No you can’t lol that’s not how any human works. Idk who you’re trying to impress here but you’re failing. Some people genuinely care about their friends and the harmful choices they make. Some people have the courage to confront their friends when they see them doing something stupid. You on the other hand seem to be an egotistical prick. Your mindset is weak and you probably make a shit friend IF you even bothered trying to make friends.

 

[KandinskyCandle]

my friend thinks he's nonbinary and wants to microdose estrogen. how the fuck do i convince him not to. it's not gonna give him the results he wants and i don't have the heart to tell him nonbinary isn't real

You already know it’s dumb overall, but maybe try suggesting he take up a traditional form of dance instead—like ballet or whatever. Male dancers don’t look like women obviously, but they get trained to have really good posture/carriage and to move elegantly. If he’s not an AGP and wants to look more androgynous/effeminate, better posture and grooming does a lot more than taking estrogen and slapping on lipstick badly. Try showing him some Kpop idol dudes or whatever. Compared to transitioning into a beautiful woman—which is just impossible—there are ways to become a beautiful man without developing a lifelong hormonal drug addiction. Literally all he needs is to be nicely groomed, fit, graceful, and dress well. Plus, physical activity would just be good for him—feeling less divorced for one’s body sometimes helps counteract this shit. WRT fashion: they’re all addicted to pornography, but there are some “nonbinary” dudes on fashion forums who don’t entirely look retarded and they tend to wear wide legged pants, long coats, loose white shirts that type of thing. It’s not a terrible look and it doesn’t scream sex offending cross dresser the way people like Alok V Menon do.

“Nonbinary” women also do the same thing. They all take T, get double mastectomies and end up looking slightly melted, when if they went to the gym and bulked out they could look more angular, built and reduce their breast size all without any medical intervention.

Obviously I don’t think being gender non-conforming makes someone not a man or woman, but it’s always funny to me how much they all cry about how getting surgery and taking hormone injections is So Brave when they won’t put in the effort to exercise which would actually have more of a physical effect. Being severely anorexic/eating badly, shooting up a drug, and getting plastic surgery are actually the traditional hobbies of the idle.

 

[Lord of the Large Pants]

One of my online friends recently came out as trans, specifically citing how very accepting the alphabet soup cult is. I tried to explain to him several times that people who only want to be friends with you because you're cutting you're dick off aren't really you're friends. And also that he's mentioned being autistic several times in the past, and there's an overwhelming overlap between autism and trans-ing, and he might want to consider some opposing views before destroying his body with hormones. Was told that I obviously think of him as an inferior human being and it's my fault for not immediately doing a 180 on my views of the trans phenomenon. Told him I'm not cutting him off and it's up to him if he wants to talk further. Haven't heard from him since.

Not an especially close friend or anything, but still though.

 

[jje100010001]

Exactly like you say: cult.

Yeah, where there are multiple tiers of involvement (questioning > non-binary > changing your name > etc.), and where getting hormones and surgery is really a progressive act of initiation that draws you deeper and deeper into its black heart.

As long as you stay, you'll always have accepting friends and be supported against the 'hateful' world outside...

 

[Sperghetti]

One of my online friends recently came out as trans, specifically citing how very accepting the alphabet soup cult is. I tried to explain to him several times that people who only want to be friends with you because you're cutting you're dick off aren't really you're friends. And also that he's mentioned being autistic several times in the past, and there's an overwhelming overlap between autism and trans-ing, and he might want to consider some opposing views before destroying his body with hormones. Was told that I obviously think of him as an inferior human being and it's my fault for not immediately doing a 180 on my views of the trans phenomenon. Told him I'm not cutting him off and it's up to him if he wants to talk further. Haven't heard from him since.

Not an especially close friend or anything, but still though.

The problem with that “accepting” nature is that it’s usually a trap. Yeah, they’re accepting at first, of superficial stuff, but you soon find out that the flip side of that is that you are never allowed criticize certain people or things and as soon as you express any personal boundaries, you will be the bad guy. And by that time you’ll have nobody else, as they will have also pulled the “we’re your only real friends” trick.

It’s just another form of the love bombing you see in cults and abusive relationships where you’re wonderful and perfect and exactly what they want at the beginning, but as time goes on, that natural perfection turns into constantly having to jump through hoops to meet their approval. In all cases, they use praise and validation as a drug to hook their targets and keep them from leaving.

 

[Lord of the Large Pants]

The problem with that “accepting” nature is that it’s usually a trap. Yeah, they’re accepting at first, of superficial stuff, but you soon find out that the flip side of that is that you are never allowed criticize certain people or things and as soon as you express any personal boundaries, you will be the bad guy. And by that time you’ll have nobody else, as they will have also pulled the “we’re your only real friends” trick.

It’s just another form of the love bombing you see in cults and abusive relationships where you’re wonderful and perfect and exactly what they want at the beginning, but as time goes on, that natural perfection turns into constantly having to jump through hoops to meet their approval. In all cases, they use praise and validation as a drug to hook their targets and keep them from leaving.

Oh, I know that. I just wasn't able to convince HIM of that.

 

[AMHOLIO]

It's pretty easy. You just compartmentalize people and then as you put them out of your mind you can stop thinking about them so much. I can also turn off my emotions so that helps too.

Turning your emotions off for most people results in bottling them up. It would be easier for the rest of us to have a long cry, cut someone off, then have a grieving period where you allow yourself time to be sad about it for like two weeks then not let it dominate you. I'm saying this for long term friends, not just casual friends. Casual friends are easier to cut off, when you feel like you have to mercy kill a true friendship is where a lot of us have trouble.

Good on you, but its harder than that for those of us who can't do such.

. And also that he's mentioned being autistic several times in the past,

It is nigh impossible to change an autistic person's mind once they set on an idea, so you did your best and the right thing. I feel ya, it would have been one hell of an uphill battle. I hope if he changes his mind he doesn't feel embarrassed to talk to you again.

 

[Lord of the Large Pants]

It is nigh impossible to change an autistic person's mind once they set on an idea, so you did your best and the right thing. I feel ya, it would have been one hell of an uphill battle. I hope if he changes his mind he doesn't feel embarrassed to talk to you again.

Eh. I did what I could under the circumstances. I don't feel particularly guilty or anything. I think the lack of willingness to hear any alternative view is the most infuriating part, but you can't make people listen to you.

Shit, I'm an autist who used to have gender confusion... that part I get. I was just lucky enough to grow up before and had the space to figure it out on my own without people pushing titty skittles everywhere.

 

[Drums Into Space]

there are some “nonbinary” dudes on fashion forums who don’t entirely look retarded and they tend to wear wide legged pants, long coats, loose white shirts that type of thing.

Yeah androgynous fashion has always been pretty in style. Rick Owens, Rei Kawakubo, Raf Simons, Telfar, and countless others have based entire collections on androgyny. It’s not difficult to find if you got a good eye and just a little bit of tastes (sadly troons don’t).