Chris court appearance

[NOT THE BEEEEES!]

Peyronie's disease is not congenital or genetic. It's a result of constant minor injury to the penis over long periods of time. Usually it's something athletes or soldiers get, so how the fuck lazy ass, sedentary Chris got it is anyone's best guess, but I think it has something to do with prone masturbating.

It’s from death-grip masturbatiom

 

[Turk on the lurk]

View attachment 2416255

-puts rubber on his bent duck of a penis to rape his 80 year old mother suffering from dementia
-"categorized as male despite being a trans woman"

*sigh

 

[G. Williamson]

holy fuck PLEASE let someone record this I beg you.

 

[Shovel Mech Pilot]

I think his anxiety right now mostly revolves around getting his stuff -- possibly new stuff he bought with that $750 -- out of the hotel room before they throw it out. He wants to "get everything back home" and doesn't feel safe knowing that he belongings are in jeopardy.

He probably didn't buy a whole lot with the $750. He was already like $200 or $300 in the hole, so he had maybe $500 left. He probably prepaid for the hotel room, so there goes the rest of it.

 

[purpleflurp]

He really thinks he's gonna be playing his PS4 in prison huh?

I don't know about Virginia, but I know some low-security prisoners are allowed game consoles, dependent on good behavior of course.

Hell, I remember a Death Row documentary showed a few of the inmates condemned to die were allowed TVs and Xboxes.

 

[Zebedee]

Chandler again interrupted the judge saying “she.” The judge said he was reading from the state statute itself.

This is too funny.

Never have I heard a more formal version of ‘I couldn’t give a shit’ than this.

 

[B’Elanna]

So my knowledge of the US court system is limited to what I've seen in TV and in movies... but aren't they suppose to keep a record of the court proceedings and what was said? Isn't there a way to get access to that info?

Yes, generally unless they are sealed anyone can order a transcript.

 

[Cherenkovblue]

If I was rich I would buy the place from the bank and sell all his trinkets for a fortune
Or convert it into a Chris Chan Museum

Hmmm. OK, this gives me an idea. If and when it goes into foreclosure we put together a kickstarter to purchase not the home, but its contents, and then create a series of videos burning, melting, and otherwise breaking them... and send photos to Chris.

someone photoshop the final scene of planet of the apes to be 14BC instead of the statue of libertyView attachment 2415656

Nono. Substitute the Statue of Liberty with a partially-melted Optimus Prime action figure.

 

[G. Williamson]

Chris’ lawyer

Attorney At Law | Heilberg Law | Charlottesville VA

Mr. Dave Heilberg is in his fifth decade helping clients throughout central Virginia with assistance in criminal law.

www.heilberglaw.com

>berg

 

[make_it_so]

Who knows for sure I was just wondering if he planned to sell some relics in order to post bond but if that were the case he could just send his lawyer to get that stuff for safe keeping.

I doubt he was planning that far ahead - he probably legitimately wanted some of his stuff to keep himself occupied while in jail.

 

[AnimeAvatard]

It’s from death-grip mass debating

I notice you spelled it wrong so I fixed it for you

 

[Chazzed Up]

true. it's more about how many hours, etc. also if the work contradicts what one is on SSDI or SSI for. Like, if you have a major back injury but you're doing some highly physical job that's going to raise a few eyebrows.

you can also go to school or volunteer. there are groups, both government linked and private that work with individuals and linking them to these sorts of things as well as ensuring recipients don't bite off too much and lose said benefits, promoting some agency so they're not just literal... well, chris chan's.

A part time job alone, or like you said school or volunteering, would have possibly helped a lot. I say possibly since maybe Chris really is such a fucking tard by nature that he wouldn't have been able to maintain a job. Still, he finished school and college. A job would give him structure, accountability, and socialization, all of which he has lacked for a very long time. More importantly, it would prevent him from being constantly exposed to the internet which is unhealthy even for nonretarded people.

I would guess the absence of all of that contributed to his descent into insanity that led us to where we are now.

 

[CansOfCant]

I really, really wanted headlines like this to just be some /pol/ crackpot fantasy. But here we are.

Good.

 

[KittyGremlin]

Almost makes me wish this wasn't the last time we get to hear him act like a retard in public. Almost.

 

[PoppyFizz]

Patiently waiting for the chimpout after he's told the state liquidated all of his stuff and his car was impounded. He's going to get tazed in the taint sore.

 

[lolwatagain]

I really, really wanted headlines like this to just be some /pol/ crackpot fantasy. But here we are.

Of all sad words of tongue or pen, the saddest are these: "/pol/ was right again."

 

[make_it_so]

So how is being mentally 5 years old less grounds for an insanity plea than, say, John Hinckley's delusion that Jodie Foster would fall in love with him if he killed the president?

If I recall correctly, the process for the insanity plea actually got more stringent in the aftermath of Hinckley's assassination attempt.

 

[NOT THE BEEEEES!]

Boy oh boy Mr. Tooley, you won the fucking lottery

Think i’m gonna buy that man a bottle of scotch. pretty sure he’s already drunk everything vaguely alcoholic in his house by now, including the isopropyl.

 

[NoonmanR]

I bet 14 branchlane ct has already been broken into, multiple times. Chris' toys are fucked.

 

[deadson]

LOL at the part where Chris says he would “be willing to proceed if…..” As if the court cares if he’s willing?

The court cares about his willingness about as much as he cared about Barb’s.

ETA: I don’t think we’ll get many updates on Barb. As a victim of sexual assault, I think they are legally obligated to protect her privacy as much as possible.

Agreed.

I wish the judge ripped into him at some point and told him to stfu.