Secret Gamer Girl / SecretGamerGrrl / Googleshng / "Violet Hargrave" / Jacob Lawrence (Jake) Alley / Violet Cassandra Ocean - Delusional Zoe Quinn Stalker, Libelous Tweeter, Thirsty Gnome, Faux-Tranny Neckbeard Incel, Micropenis, "Known Troubled Person", Creator of "Massive vs the Masses", Self-Described "Noise Making Thing"; Lives in Niantic, CT

I'm not fat in metric:
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He got a ton of replies on his "I'm not fat" post, 27 so far, the ones he replied back to:
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You know, I always think a really good liar rolls with the punches. If, in true Jake style, you make up a sob story about how the doctors want you to starve to death and other people point out that you’re wrong, a good liar would say, “Oh yeah, that must be a typo, sorry. They actually said...” Not Jake! Jake alone has somehow visited several different doctors who were all dangerously incompetent and all gave him exactly the same dangerous advice.

P sure that what really happened was that he went doctor shopping and he’s pissy because every single one of them said he had to lose weight. Because he’s really, really fat.
Jake comforts Bex over being pregnant and suggests...:
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We have hit peak mansplaining. Jake is literally giving a woman pregnancy advice. It’s a good thing Becky is lying, a woman who isn’t faking it would put him on a one-way trip to Blocktown.
So I'm assuming the surgery Jake says he was recommended as having to lose weight is lap band surgery. This is from the Cleveland Clinic (one of the top five hospitals in the US) webpage on it:
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I'm going to suggest that Jake is definitely above 300 pounds then. 320 pounds would put him right at a 40 BMI. If he gets down to 280 pounds that's a 35 BMI. Below 35 BMI he starts being eligible for The Surgery and not this surgery so we know he's clearly not closer to 35 than 40.
In all the full-body photos of him we have, he’s really, really fat. They’re all several years old, since when he’s been living in an apartment on his own, taking minimal exercise and generally living a life with no restrictions. He’s mentioned mobility issues in the past. I honestly wouldn’t be surprised if he’s verging on circus fat by this point.
Disgusting MEN are pre-fired at World Domination Games LLC:
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Truly this is a company that cares. Usually, when you sue a former employer for discrimination and unfair dismissal, it’s really hard to prove. Few are courteous enough to make their illegal practices public like this.
 
P sure that what really happened was that he went doctor shopping and he’s pissy because every single one of them said he had to lose weight. Because he’s really, really fat.
His claim of having to get down to 150lbs to comply with BMI requirements is certainly a very specific numbers for someone like him. "For example, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), a woman 65 inches (1.65 meters) tall would fall within a normal BMI range if she weighed 111–150 pounds (50–68 kg)" - why would he ever look at what's normal for men of his height? He's not a man, plus he doesn't take the time to read anything, and no one measured him so it's not his fault if he got the information wrong.

It wouldn't surprise me if his grievance comes from window-shopping procedures on the internet and not really taking the time to read anything, then misremembering and misunderstanding what little he saw and then he adds some huffy bullshit on top of that when posting on twitter.
 
Disgusting MEN are pre-fired at World Domination Games LLC:
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The thought of having a modicum of power over anybody has Jake frothing at the mouth.
Lucky for Jake, the only ultra-pozzed soyboi beta cucks who would volunteer (lol Jake won't pay them) to do all the work for Jake wouldn't dare make a pass at their own wives.
Jake would spend all day micro-managing and patrolling their social media for 2 things: problematic thoughts, and any signs his team might be eggs to hatch.
 
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"As someone with lots of experience with yon baby making, may I suggest watching Kamen Rider with me to get you into the mood for sexy times? Don't worry, though - i'm totally asexual so if I grab yon boobies, i'm just helping you lactate better"
 
In all the full-body photos of him we have, he’s really, really fat. They’re all several years old, since when he’s been living in an apartment on his own, taking minimal exercise and generally living a life with no restrictions.
He does have more restrictions now though, because he doesn't have his mom to wait on him hand and foot. At least, not all the time. If I had to guess, I'd say he's not at his all-time heaviest right now.

In other news, it looks like Glinner has picked up the CWC story:
I'm hoping Jake tries to get in contact with a fellow victim of this double-Hitler.
 
"As someone with lots of experience with yon baby making, may I suggest watching Kamen Rider with me to get you into the mood for sexy times? Don't worry, though - i'm totally asexual so if I grab yon boobies, i'm just helping you lactate better"
Lol, while Jake giving pregnancy advice is funny, the thought of him being a pediatrician makes my skin crawl.

ETA: Failed game designer says one of the most critically acclaimed games of all time is “not actually all that good.”
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The thought of having a modicum of power over anybody has Jake frothing at the mouth.
Lucky for Jake, the only ultra-pozzed soyboi beta cucks who would volunteer (lol Jake won't pay them) to do all the work for Jake wouldn't dare make a pass at their own wives.
Jake would spend all day micro-managing and patrolling their social media for 2 things: problematic thoughts, and any signs his team might be eggs to hatch.
I just love this idea that Jake would be this hardass boss, as if he somehow holds the cards in this situation. He has no money, no influence, no contacts, no prospects, no fame, no skills, no experience and no respect in the industry he wants in on. And you know he plans to be the ideas man buxom wench, throwing out concepts and getting others to do all the actual work. Anyone working for him does so out of pity. If he decides a dude was flirting with someone Jake had his eye on committing sexual harassment, it’s not like the guy will be begging for the opportunity to continue working for a failed games designer for no money.

TBH, if I was one of the men in question, I’d’tell him to go fuck himself right now. I wouldn’t put up with that kind of disrespect from someone I was doing a favour for.
 
I just love this idea that Jake would be this hardass boss, as if he somehow holds the cards in this situation. He has no money, no influence, no contacts, no prospects, no fame, no skills, no experience and no respect in the industry he wants in on. And you know he plans to be the ideas man buxom wench, throwing out concepts and getting others to do all the actual work. Anyone working for him does so out of pity. If he decides a dude was flirting with someone Jake had his eye on committing sexual harassment, it’s not like the guy will be begging for the opportunity to continue working for a failed games designer for no money.

TBH, if I was one of the men in question, I’d’tell him to go fuck himself right now. I wouldn’t put up with that kind of disrespect from someone I was doing a favour for.
Jake wants to be Brianna Wu, but he has no screaming chink midget paypig to foot the bills.
 
Short goggleshng (285 words):
Jake Ally said:
Every once in a while I wake up to harassing BS in my mentions that's so much of a deviation from the norm I really have to stop and stare and wonder how the person I just blocked got their marching orders for the day so confused.

Like today here's someone calling me "the person who constantly goes around calling people pedophiles," and well that's just novel.

Usually I'm called such myself, because I'm a trans woman. Or I'm called a defender of such, because I call out the fascist tactic of actually tossing that term around enough for it to lose all meaning. I mean, I did write THIS, http://archive.md/RhN6k#selection-99.0-99.54 but that was 5 years ago now, very careful in its wording, and aiming at the easiest targets.

Maybe Twitter did that thing where it randomly sticks a years-old post in someone's feed and they think it just happened, and this was someone dashing in to pick up arms for Mark Kern over that time he threatened to sue me for talking about his association with an infamous child porn site? I'm assuming he'd prefer people not try to reignite that one as what I assumed happened, if anything, is he checked with a lawyer and found out you can't actually sue someone for libel when they make a factually true statement. Nothing can come of that but terrible press.

Still not as odd as the time someone was attacking me for being "incredibly pretty and popular" though. That was baffling.

If there was something else though that this random troll was trying to suppress through intimidation that didn't actually need suppressing that I'm forgetting to make totally backfire, let me know I guess?
Summary:
- Jake claims that he's getting "harassment BS" in his mentions
- He claims that someone called him ""the person who constantly goes around calling people pedophiles".
- He then goes on to say that people accuse him of being a pedo because of an article he wrote 5 years ago about child molesters having strong feelings about being trans.
- He brings up the Mark Kern drama about him accusing Kern of being associated with a child porn site

Standard Googleshng- An expansion on Gnome Economics (812 words):
Jake Ally said:
You know, I'm looking at that last post, and my brain is in game designer mode, and I kinda feel like I have to go on a little mini-rant here about how people who "seek wealth" are super frustrating because either they fundamentally misunderstand the mechanics of the game or they are actively trolling, because if our whole economic setup were a strategy game, "wealth" would be a straight up failure state.

Money, in and of itself, has no intrinsic value. If this were a game, there would be no metaphorical sense in trading your bank balance at the end for some number of victory points or anything. Your bank balance is literally just a number. It does nothing to make you happier, healthier, safer, just kind of an abstract.

All the things that DO improve your life are like, things, and services, and homes, and friends, and art, and so on. Functionally, what money does in a game mechanics way is just transfer that stuff around.

It's also important to realize that like, money is not a production resource. There's no space on the board where you convert dollars into cars. You can turn steel into cars, and you can trade money at various places for steel or cars or various other things, but, it stays money. There's just kind of this fixed number of money tokens in the game, they get scooted all over the board to transfer all the important stuff.

In terms of what designers actually tend to model, how money functions is more like when you have a game where there's a finite number of like, wagons, or shuttles, or galleons or something, and there's this whole strategy layer where you have to optimize what's being shipped on them to maximize actual production and point generation and such.

And that actually is how money works, right? Like, I have a closet full of copies of the Missile Command board game. Having one copy of that is worth some points to me, because I can play this fun board game, the rest have no value. There's other stuff I don't have that would be worth points. But I can't just directly trade board games for like, new pairs of shoes (they look at you pretty weird for that). Instead I need money in the mix, which just darts back and forth. Money shifts a board game to the shoe store owner, then shifts shoes over to me, then shifts other shoes somewhere else, and keeps moving all over the board transferring these surplus resources that people need to score points.

And then you've got some capitalist scumbag who just kind of ignores the rules where everyone's trying to hit a minimum count on stuff they need/want to max their scores out and instead just goes "let's see how many of these money tokens I can get sitting on the same space on the board." And like, OK, you can do things like that in games. People do weird challenge run crap all the time. But... you're just kinda locking the whole board up so there's no legal moves that can be made. Nothing can get traded because all trades need a money token on one side, and they're all over there, where you refuse to send them out. You aren't getting any points from having them there either, and honestly, if you weren't just being an asshole and trolling the whole game, you could let one money token out for like a single lap around the board, let everyone make SOME trade, and trade back for it, letting everyone profit, even you, AND you'd still get to have the weird arbitrary money hoard after that circuit completed.

But instead you're just sitting there with a smug trolly grin watching everyone get increasingly frustrated as they all say "pass" every turn with a dead game state and silently agree to never invite you over to board game night again because turns out you're either a total asshole or at the very least someone who is incapable of either understanding the rules or reading the room and getting that you're maybe doing something wrong and that's why everyone is so pissed off at you.

And I mean, that whole metaphor isn't even getting into how life isn't even a competitive game. You only get to play the one time, and it's all about just having the highest score you can manage to have, not placement on a leader board, and other people having higher scores leads to more sources of points being created that you can then access, so the real smart move if you don't actually see anything you need to trade for is to just fling those money tokens over to someone who doesn't have surplus resources to let them start producing something too.
TL;DR- Jake treats economics like a video game and online trolling in video games. Manchild mindset.

One last (short) googleshng- Jake once again whining about Twitter tards "dunking" on conservatives because they show the tweets from the conservatives, exposing Jake to opinions he doesn't like and triggering him:
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https://twitter.com/SecretGamerGrrl/status/1423741661209837570 (Archive)
 
I just love this idea that Jake would be this hardass boss, as if he somehow holds the cards in this situation. He has no money, no influence, no contacts, no prospects, no fame, no skills, no experience and no respect in the industry he wants in on. And you know he plans to be the ideas man buxom wench, throwing out concepts and getting others to do all the actual work. Anyone working for him does so out of pity. If he decides a dude was flirting with someone Jake had his eye on committing sexual harassment, it’s not like the guy will be begging for the opportunity to continue working for a failed games designer for no money.

TBH, if I was one of the men in question, I’d’tell him to go fuck himself right now. I wouldn’t put up with that kind of disrespect from someone I was doing a favour for.
If you actually were one of the men in question, though, you'd be such a self-flagellating creep that you'd be in complete agreement with him. Though given the male feminist to rapist pipeline, perhaps for once Jake has a point.

When I read those tweets though I honestly assumed that he was the one man he'd be employing. And also the one employee total. With, indeed, absolutely no managerial function.

Very disappointing to see his lack of support for trans men however.
 
Short goggleshng (285 words):

Summary:
- Jake claims that he's getting "harassment BS" in his mentions
- He claims that someone called him ""the person who constantly goes around calling people pedophiles".
- He then goes on to say that people accuse him of being a pedo because of an article he wrote 5 years ago about child molesters having strong feelings about being trans.
- He brings up the Mark Kern drama about him accusing Kern of being associated with a child porn site
Fucking lol, nobody has ever called Jake “incredibly pretty and popular,” because they all know he’s a prematurely aged obese man with a beard. And that’s how they know he isn’t popular, because you just know someone like that is going to slip something into your drink.

One last (short) googleshng- Jake once again whining about Twitter tards "dunking" on conservatives because they show the tweets from the conservatives, exposing Jake to opinions he doesn't like and triggering him:
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https://twitter.com/SecretGamerGrrl/status/1423741661209837570 (Archive)
It must be hard for Jake, being an investigative journalist and terrorism expert when he can’t even think about his area of expertise.
 
You'd think that someone who has been posting 24/7 on Twitter for the past 7 years would have learned by now on how to use the Mute and Block functions, as well as the settings to screen out certain keywords!

I guess poor, buxom Violet couldn't find someone to do this grueling work for him
 
Fucking lol, nobody has ever called Jake “incredibly pretty and popular,” because they all know he’s a prematurely aged obese man with a beard. And that’s how they know he isn’t popular, because you just know someone like that is going to slip something into your drink.
Jake acting like he's well known and popular is just as delusional as him pretending to be a passing, attractive MTF. He struggles to get 50 likes on most days and the only reason anyone even knows he exits is because of GooberGate and the Farms.

Outside of laughing at him, there's no reason to pay attention to Jake. He's never achieved anything significant and has nothing of value to say on any given topic he talks about.
 
More Jakeconomics:
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"Simple fix is not to get yourself to that point in the first place." - Violet Cassandra Ocean on "the problem" of wealth

I like how he thinks basics of tying up capital is not part of the "actual functional system" which shouldn't surprise me seeing how he's a self-imposed welfare case that probably spends every penny that comes in immediately.
 
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"And that actually is how money works, right? Like, I have a closet full of copies of the Missile Command board game."
Stop hoarding the board games you fat wealth-seeking dragon!
I just love this idea that Jake would be this hardass boss, as if he somehow holds the cards in this situation. He has no money, no influence, no contacts, no prospects, no fame, no skills, no experience and no respect in the industry he wants in on. And you know he plans to be the ideas man buxom wench, throwing out concepts and getting others to do all the actual work. Anyone working for him does so out of pity. If he decides a dude was flirting with someone Jake had his eye on committing sexual harassment, it’s not like the guy will be begging for the opportunity to continue working for a failed games designer for no money.

TBH, if I was one of the men in question, I’d’tell him to go fuck himself right now. I wouldn’t put up with that kind of disrespect from someone I was doing a favour for.
We can assume that he's making an RPG of some kind. He's stated that he would ONLY have three men on the team, two for writing and one for art while he (probably) produces the gameplay system and rules. That seems like a full team for a no-name indie pen and paper rpg. How many other positions will be open for women/trannies and what are they even supposed to do?
 
I like how he thinks basics of tying up capital is not part of the "actual functional system" which shouldn't surprise me seeing how he's a self-imposed welfare case that probably spends every penny that comes in immediately.
Not to mention that his own lifestyle is only possible at the very pinnacle of capitalist development.
Societies do exist (or did) that work sort of like how Jake wants - any anthropologist will be happy to talk your ear off about potlatches. But those are tightly-knit societies that don't tolerate parasites. Only in a modern, technologized, atomized, anonymous society could a fictitious "Violet" persona eke out a paltry existence from a handful of credulous morons scattered across the globe. Without Billionaire Bezos and a handful of other megacorps, Jake would have literally nothing except a square-wheeled office chair in his mom's attic.
 
"They didn't even measure my weight I was so fat!" like he was two pounds over the threshold or something instead of being so obviously obese.
This made me imagine jake’s blob looking ass standing next to a scale and then saying “WANT ME TO GET ON THE SCALE?” then the doctor looks up from his clipboard and says “no that won’t be necessary” before looking back at his clipboard and scribbling down “STILL FAT AS SHIT”
 
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