Skitzocow Taxman / Kyle Hawkins

Massif said:
It has already been said, multiple times, in near identical posts, that white knighting/power leveling isn't desired. In fact the thread was locked and two large posts expressing the opinion of the mods to this effect were made. There hasn't been a post like that in a while, and when there is they get threadbanned or vow to leave, what exactly is continued voicing of that same opinion accomplishing except hoping for ebin upboats and shitting up the thread more?


I think he's at a point where he will take anything over reality, which presumably also is why he can't stand to be sober.
Not that the paranoid, delusional world he seems to inhabit currently is what we would call reality either.
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He's also a staunch white supremacist, who more or less sees hitler as a perfect leader. So y'know
 
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GRANDAD said:
lets get into some lame pony shit for a minute. lets say tax does prove everyone wrong and open a portal to equestria. what does he think is gonna happen when he goes there? he already had a weird relationship with rarity and she dumped him, so thats gonna lead to some really awkward pony booze parties when they show up at the same place and they dont wanna talk about it
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Spoilered for lengthy autism:

Well, first of all, Taxman will retain his racism, paranoia, and substance addiction issues. Even if we take him at his word that his mental illness developed as the result of an unhealthy society on earth, it isn't going to go away just because he's left that environment. Much like if how you get an infection as a result of wallowing in filth, that infection will still be there even after you leave the filth. This will hinder his adaptation to his new environment (and new body! possible species dysphoria incoming?), which will be a radical change as it is. The sort of person who believes racist beliefs in the first place is also prone to forming additional prejudices based on experiences, so Taxpony will start hating on zebras or something. Likewise Taxman will probably find new and exciting substances to abuse.

Second of all, Taxman's relationship with Rarity didn't just end badly, she actually tried to kill him. Being in Equestria means that he'll be within easier reach of Rarity. So Taxpony will be watching his back.

Third of all, Taxman will realize that if he can get to Equestria from Earth, other people can too. Even if he closes the portal, he'll know that if a portal could be built once, it could be built again. This means that we will see racist and paranoid rants from Taxpony about how Equestria needs a border wall to keep out all the damn Mexicans and how Illuminati Jewish wizard agents are everywhere. Speaking of other people coming to Equestria from Earth, some of his loony pony cultists will be coming with him, like that one guy who wants to learn Equestrian magic so he can use it to go back to earth and start killing Jews. So while he'll be receiving social support during his transition to Equestrian society, it'll be toxic and awful social support that will reinforce his worst tendencies. They'll probably form a weird little clique distrusted by the rest of pony society. Of course if he backstabs his own cult instead and closes the portal after coming through on his own he'll have one more enemy to be paranoid about.

Fourth of all, Taxman will realize at some point that because the My Little Pony cartoon is based on Equestrian events, he will appear in the cartoon if he does anything significant. Like, say, have an awkward scene with Rarity. Once this happens, his paranoia will increase even further and Taxpony will begin ranting about how the Kiwi Farms are always watching him. Which we will be! I for one know that the one thing that could get me to actually watch the show would be the appearance of a paranoid racist alcoholic Taxpony.

So. Tl;dr: Taxman will be even worse off mentally, MLP cartoon will actually become watchable, and you get a long post from me to rate Autistic.
 
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The Littlest Shitlord said:
Spoilered for lengthy autism:

Well, first of all, Taxman will retain his racism, paranoia, and substance addiction issues. Even if we take him at his word that his mental illness developed as the result of an unhealthy society on earth, it isn't going to go away just because he's left that environment. Much like if how you get an infection as a result of wallowing in filth, that infection will still be there even after you leave the filth. This will hinder his adaptation to his new environment (and new body! possible species dysphoria incoming?), which will be a radical change as it is. The sort of person who believes racist beliefs in the first place is also prone to forming additional prejudices based on experiences, so Taxpony will start hating on zebras or something. Likewise Taxman will probably find new and exciting substances to abuse.

Second of all, Taxman's relationship with Rarity didn't just end badly, she actually tried to kill him. Being in Equestria means that he'll be within easier reach of Rarity. So Taxpony will be watching his back.

Third of all, Taxman will realize that if he can get to Equestria from Earth, other people can too. Even if he closes the portal, he'll know that if a portal could be built once, it could be built again. This means that we will see racist and paranoid rants from Taxpony about how Equestria needs a border wall to keep out all the damn Mexicans and how Illuminati Jewish wizard agents are everywhere. Speaking of other people coming to Equestria from Earth, some of his loony pony cultists will be coming with him, like that one guy who wants to learn Equestrian magic so he can use it to go back to earth and start killing Jews. So while he'll be receiving social support during his transition to Equestrian society, it'll be toxic and awful social support that will reinforce his worst tendencies. They'll probably form a weird little clique distrusted by the rest of pony society. Of course if he backstabs his own cult instead and closes the portal after coming through on his own he'll have one more enemy to be paranoid about.

Fourth of all, Taxman will realize at some point that because the My Little Pony cartoon is based on Equestrian events, he will appear in the cartoon if he does anything significant. Like, say, have an awkward scene with Rarity. Once this happens, his paranoia will increase even further and Taxpony will begin ranting about how the Kiwi Farms are always watching him. Which we will be! I for one know that the one thing that could get me to actually watch the show would be the appearance of a paranoid racist alcoholic Taxpony.

So. Tl;dr: Taxman will be even worse off mentally, MLP cartoon will actually become watchable, and you get a long post from me to rate Autistic.
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I am now imagining a racist drug addled alcoholic pony rambling around in a cute little children's show talking about the Jews.
NICE AUTISM BRO! THANKS!
Hey, maybe the dab of complexity and adult subtext this would introduce into the show would make the fact that there's a legion of grown men obsessing over it a little less baffling.
 
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Phil Ken Sebben said:
And the really bad thing is cool guys are going to be popping out of the woodwork to take advantage of this guy.
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I'm not sure Tax is popular enough to attract too many cool dudes. I'm under the impression he is pretty unknown outside this somewhat obscure thread on an obscure forum.

Also, trying to have substantive conversations about Tax's mental health with Cat
:story:
 
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Yaoi Huntress Earth said:
I can't help thinking that if your imaginary relationships are this dysfunctional, there must be something wrong with you.
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One must wonder what his real relationships are. Are his co-workers aware of how fucked in the head he is? Has he tried to explain his interdimensional pony portal or whatever the fuck to them?

Oh to be a fly on the wall for that converstaion.
 
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Strelok said:
One must wonder what his real relationships are. Are his co-workers aware of how fucked in the head he is? Has he tried to explain his interdimensional pony portal or whatever the fuck to them?

Oh to be a fly on the wall for that converstaion.
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Seeing how he has been drunk in public while he expressed his racist beliefs and how Lurker is this evil Jew set to destroy him, and seeing how he's now a drug addict who is likely like that quite often, it's possible that they do know. But they likely keep him on the payroll for a big tax break because he's a veteran, and likely a disabled one.
 
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since no one brings content other than speculation(and the mlw users won't provide caps) i'd figure i'd actually improve this thread

I35DKbJ.png


ONp1U5Z.png
 
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cat said:
since no one brings content other than speculation(and the mlw users won't provide caps) i'd figure i'd actually improve this thread

I35DKbJ.png


ONp1U5Z.png
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Fucking christ. I think Taxman is what Chris would be if he was smart enough to realize how shit his life was.
 
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cat said:
since no one brings content other than speculation(and the mlw users won't provide caps) i'd figure i'd actually improve this thread

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Ahaha, holy fuck cat this is great! How did you even find that shit, I must have missed some stuff. I really hope he honestly does not think Celestia will come save him.
 
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cat said:
"crossing the boundry" its a term by these tulpa autists use for experiencing equestria....... :roll:

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i thought portalanon was just havin a crack at tax. this fucker is just as bad
 
So this was for the Bronycon?
He normally seems to live with his mother.
Is his mother into booze as well?
There was a video where he did a room tour and the living room had cabinets full of booze and empty booze bottles (kinda like a you would expect at a frat house but not the house of a 50 something year old woman)
 
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Here is Taxman's furaffinity account:

http://www.furaffinity.net/user/mustardgas/
https://archive.is/jJboQ

Taxman said:
Species: Earth Pony
Age: 27
Operating system: windows 7
Music type/genre: classical, electronic (dubstep -- NOT brostep! --, house, drum 'n' bass, breakbeat), anything really as long as its good
Favorite game: Half Life 2, Counter Strike, Zombie Master (HL2 mod), Team Fortress 2, Pokemon, Planescape: Torment
Favorite game platform: Steam
Music player of choice: Internet radio
Favorite animal: canines, FIM ponies
Favorite website: http://derpibooru.org/, http://nsbradio.co.uk/content/
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The submissions are archived here:

http://vj5pbopejlhcbz4n.onion.link/fa/mustardgas/

(If there are any other lolcows who you knew had FA accounts, replace 'mustardgas' with their FA account username and you can check that archive site for their submissions)

He doesn't seem to have used FA much, only 36 comments since 2008, but there are a few commissions of pony art he bought. He has a hoof fetish:

http://vj5pbopejlhcbz4n.onion.link/fa/mustardgas/1422615023.mustardgas_hoof_worship.png.html
 
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