Tess Holliday / Ryann Maegen Hoven - Beached Landwhale model, Body positive and social justice snacktivist, and gigantic fraud

[Logical Fallacies]

Cbf cropping, and I don't know if these have already been posted somewhere here. It doesn't appear (other than puppy fat) that Tess was particularly large until she had Rylie at 20. I know her mums a bit bigger now, but it appears Tess didn't grow up in a family where everyone was grossly overweight as the norm.

Edit: sorry for double posting

Spoiler: Family photo dump

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All of them were overweight. Idk what equals as normal in the US these days, but judged by the standards in my country the whole family was/is fat. All of them.

 

[George Floyd Sneed]

All of them were overweight. Idk what equals as normal in the US these days, but judged by the standards in my country the whole family was/is fat. All of them.

About two thirds of Americans are fat so the typical American perception of fatness is heavily skewed. The only picture where Tess isn’t obese is her eight birthday picture. I know a few fat girls who believe everything is okay as long as their boobs are further out than their gut. Given how Tess enjoys deceptively cropping around her front boobs, she feels the same way.

It is the most trashy thing to be on a family vacation right after a family emergency and doing sex work in the same room that she is most likely sharing with other family members. These are sex work advertisement photos, nothing less and nothing more. She hasn't posted pictures from that Madonna Inn place in a while, so I'm guessing that she's trying to find other johns to finance her lifestyle and Instagram feed. While on a family vacation.

Stay classy, Tess.

She has a sugar daddy who likely gives her $4-5k a month which covered her apartment and cake runs to the Madonna Inn but they stopped once she got her Jeep. My guess is that he refuses to give her more money. So she’s looking for a new sugar daddy who would give her more money or find a few cakejohns (I like that term) to give her to extra money for private photos or videos on the side. Or her sugar daddy has talked about ending the arrangement so she’s fishing for a new one.

(It’s kind of amazing that nothing has surfaced though.)

The cakejohns aren’t exactly eager to let the world know they pay some butterbeast money to get even fatter. It would be tough and embarrassing to explain what a feeder fetish is versus explaining why they are a sugar daddy to some 20 year old college hottie. The arrangement she has with her sugar daddy that at least covers her rent and Jeep is most definitely under an NDA.

Tess is getting sloppy about it because it’s normalized to her and she likely knows of several other “models” and actual models who have sugar arrangements. She’s likely been doing this for years but really started ramping up when she was homeless and crashed at Jolene’s place for a few months.

 

[DeusVult]

Now I finally understand why the cooled down radioactive shit at the bottom of Chernobyl is called elephant foot. I see it now. Foot, leg, whatever, normal anatomy cannot be applied here.

 

[Fatty McFatfat]

If you look at this photo, she has no knees. So it looks like a double leg amputee standing on her stumps. I can't unsee it now.

I remember Detta Walker different.

 

[NoReturn]

All of them were overweight. Idk what equals as normal in the US these days, but judged by the standards in my country the whole family was/is fat. All of them.

About two thirds of Americans are fat so the typical American perception of fatness is heavily skewed. The only picture where Tess isn’t obese is her eight birthday picture. I know a few fat girls who believe everything is okay as long as their boobs are further out than their gut. Given how Tess enjoys deceptively cropping around her front boobs, she feels the same way.

The US is big, and it keeps getting bigger, but we do have regional differences.

Spoiler: By the standards of where and when I grew up

---

We're time travelers!

 

[Umaibae]

Her skin in that Bee Gees video. What the fuck.

 

[Mr. Bubba]

If you look at this photo, she has no knees. So it looks like a double leg amputee standing on her stumps. I can't unsee it now.

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Okay, this instantly reminded me of The Adobe Flash legend Joe Cartoon's 'Lump The No Legged Dog' from the late 90's.

 

[Water-T]

Hell is being stuck in the desert with Tess as she does nothing but make "AREN'T I SO HOT?" TikToks and splashing bacon grease everywhere when she attempts to "dance".

 

[blablabla]

Why does her face looks like it was rubbed with a papa Johns pizza

 

[Water-T]

Why does her face looks like it was rubbed with a papa Johns pizza

When Tess encounters a pizza, she ravages it so hard that it ends up as a facial mask for her. It's where her crater-like tight pores and greasy sheen dewy glow comes from.

 

[Gay Mouth]

I LOL’d at the beegees vid. Her skin is so bad my brain couldn’t comprehend it was supposed to be a glow up video, then when she “transforms” from a bad skin crusty hair mom in a sleep shirt into a bad makeup crunchy curl mom in a rag T I realized the depths of her narcissism that she thought this made her look GOOD

 

[XANA]

I thought you guys were kidding about her skin because it didn't look so bad in the first video, but holy shit the second video makes it look like she's a teenager again. I mean, how hard is it to wash with some soap and water every once in a while?

 

[Angry New Ager]

I thought you guys were kidding about her skin because it didn't look so bad in the first video, but holy shit the second video makes it look like she's a teenager again. I mean, how hard is it to wash with some soap and water every once in a while?

Her shitty skin isn't a matter of not washing her face; her diet plays a significant role. There are a lot of factors that affect one's skin—sleep, smoking, alcohol consumption, sun exposure, hydration, hormones—and diet is a huge one. We've seen what garbage she eats on the regular, especially the massive quantities of sugar, and the effects are clearly visible on her face. Her obesity means her hormone levels are fucked, too, which contributes to adult acne breakouts.

It's literal garbage in, garbage out, and all the Botox and fillers and skin-care products in the world aren't going to fix it.

Why does her face looks like it was rubbed with a papa Johns pizza

I was thinking more along the lines of Pizza Hut, myself. Pizza Slut's gotta be the greasiest, nastiest pizza in existence.

Or she gets herself a bucket of KFC, and wipes her greasy fingers on her face.

Why does she insist on going for the "dewy," greasy, glazed-donut look, when it highlights how terrible her skin is? Probably because it hides how chronically sweaty she is.

 

[NoReturn]

New TikTok, anyone know what video she's talking about?

She also put out a Bowie video but I feel bad for the kid, so instead I'll just share a still from the start of it before he comes out.

Her skin in that Bee Gees video. What the fuck.

Why does her face looks like it was rubbed with a papa Johns pizza

When Tess encounters a pizza, she ravages it so hard that it ends up as a facial mask for her. It's where her crater-like tight pores and greasy sheen dewy glow comes from.

Tess just put out a video to dunk on you hadurs.

It's literal garbage in, garbage out, and all the Botox and fillers and skin-care products in the world aren't going to fix it.

Again I say, skin be an organ; and if the organ we can see looks this bad, imagine the insides.

 

[multiverse]

New TikTok, anyone know what video she's talking about?
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She also put out a Bowie video but I feel bad for the kid, so instead I'll just share a still from the start of it before he comes out.
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Tess just put out a video to dunk on you hadurs.
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Again I say, skin be an organ, and if the organ we can see looks this bad, imagine the insides.

She is lonely and attention starved. That's what those videos are about.

If she could make Bowie into a social media star she would do it in a second. Hell, her poor terrorized half brother had to private his Instagram after she tagged him dozens of times over vacation. Rylee refuses to have social media, which is another reason Ryann hates her eldest son. So if she can't convert her elder son nor her half brother into more clicks for herself - Bowie it is. A kid who still, to our knowledge, wears diapers at age 5 due to being neglected.

 

[𝕺𝖑' 𝕯𝖎𝖗𝖙𝖞 𝕱𝖆𝖙𝖘𝖔]

Why does her face looks like it was rubbed with a papa Johns pizza

It probably was

 

[Water-T]

Tess just put out a video to dunk on you hadurs.

OK I ADMIT THAT MY SKIN LOOKED LIKE SHIT BEFORE BUT IT WAS BECAUSE I WAS THE VICTIM OF ABUSE Y'ALL!

There is so much fucked up about that I need to point out:

1. Tess left her "abusive" spouse two years ago. How does this account for all the shitty skin since then?

2, That shit eating grin. It screams, I CAN'T BELIEVE THESE DUMMIES ARE EATING THIS UP

3. Blaming her terrible skin on (fake) domestic abuse is an insult to actual victims of domestic abuse.

4. I'm sure all the skin care companies whose products you shilled will be thrilled to hear you imply their product did not work. Way to burn more bridges, Tess!

5. Now she's put herself into a corner, because when her skin continues to look like shit due to overconsumption of crap food, she can't blame it on abuse from Nick who is still half a world away and doesn't even attempt to contact her. WHOOPS!

6. She tries SO HARD to put up the I'M NOT MAD, IT IS YOU WHO IS MAD! face with that forced smile. Bless her heart!

Tess must be feeling so clever, thinking that she's pulled checkmate in 4-D chess by blaming her greasy visage on abuse that never happened. Congrats, Tess - A WINNAR IS YOU.

 

[blue gopher snakes]

New TikTok, anyone know what video she's talking about?

No idea but it must be more relevant than Tess today for her to attempt to temporarily hitch her star to that wagon.

Hell, her poor terrorized half brother had to private his Instagram after she tagged him dozens of times over vacation.

Poor kid. He should NEVER interact with Tess again. That social media narc rage when her own half brother wasn’t popping wood for Tess was just the part WE saw. I imagine he felt extremely uncomfortable the entire “vacation.”

Rylee refuses to have social media

Based Rylee. I hope he gets out, gets a great therapist, and becomes a gym trainer or something just to piss off Tess the blubber slug.

That shit eating grin. It screams, I CAN'T BELIEVE THESE DUMMIES ARE EATING THIS UP

Duper’s delight. It’s so funny to me how narcissists follow a behavioral script almost. They think, to a man, that they are 4D chess geniuses slumming it with all us stupid peasants. Meanwhile everything they do and say is predictable and repetitive ad nauseum.

 

[FuckDuckSeagull]

Well, she still has post partum depression from Bowie and he's 5, so skin issues after 2 years of leaving an ABUSIVE ABUSER is nothing!

Based Rylee. I hope he gets out, gets a great therapist, and becomes a gym trainer or something just to piss off Tess the blubber slug.

Right? If he's straight, I hope he finds a good ol' shitlord girlfriend who is everything Ryann isn't: tall, thin athletic, amazing skin, hard working and a reall bossbitch.

 

[Slurm Queen]

Wouldn’t it have made sense to say her grease glow is due to her “anorexia recovery” — i.e. eating healthy foods in appropriate quantities, (which can radically change your skin)? Oh wait… apparently that bald-faced lie has been put on the shelf because no one believed it.