you're wrong. air superiority IS the silver bullet in an actual war. american military capabilities were and still are the best on the planet, no other power even comes close to being able to compete. the actual war in afghanistan was won in weeks. same in iraq.
it is not military failure that causes american defeat in these situations, but political failure. to put it simply: an armys purpose is fighting against other armies. the americans do this extraordinarily well, they are extremely effective at it.
an army can do wars, occupations, crackdowns, ethnic cleansing, genocide, deportations, scorched earth, bunch of other nasty shit, no problem. if what you need is violence, the military delivers. but if you want to build states, legal systems, public institutions, economies, and all that kind of shit which is needed to form a sovereign nation? that's not something generals and soldiers can do for you, it is simply outside their expertise.
my point is that americas failures are diplomatic and political in nature, not military.