Careercow Brandon "Bam" Margera - From Jackass to Lolcow

[Yeeted Teet]

ooooh...i got warned off free vpn's though? idk i will take some random kiwi telling me its absolutely fine instead of doing my research though, sir, if you can provide that?

fuck, my long bastard post from yesterday got deleted in the timeslip.

i basically said that maybe bam's parents are as cool as ppl think cos his attraction has been as a family package deal all these years, it woudlnt have been hard to pull the plug, but maybe they were just naive.

but also 'problem bam' seems like the family's new cottage industry. which includes 'not talking to each other' on dr phil.
they should have told him t get his act into gear and grow up as soon as the idea for Viva La Bam was tabled. some damagingly self indulgent bullshit there.
I've only seen tiny bits, as I (dob '89) was over that shit by the time it came out.
by far and away, so should have Bam and his peers been, let alone his parents patience with getting their house fucked up.

It's the same company as ProtonMail, which is a very reliable encrypted email service. The free version lacks a lot of features but it's really not a big deal if you only want it to read about small time cows on local news sites.

Back on topic, if he'd been on Adderall for ten years and was taking piss tests twice a week, that wouldn't have taken months to show up. I'd believe he does have a prescription because he is (was) rich and well connected enough to get a doctor who'll prescribe him anything he wants. He was fired because he ate pills by the handful or started topping up with street speed or meth.

 

[Pizdec]

ooooh...i got warned off free vpn's though? idk i will take some random kiwi telling me its absolutely fine instead of doing my research though, sir, if you can provide that?

fuck, my long bastard post from yesterday got deleted in the timeslip.

i basically said that maybe bam's parents are as cool as ppl think cos his attraction has been as a family package deal all these years, it woudlnt have been hard to pull the plug, but maybe they were just naive.

but also 'problem bam' seems like the family's new cottage industry. which includes 'not talking to each other' on dr phil.
they should have told him t get his act into gear and grow up as soon as the idea for Viva La Bam was tabled. some damagingly self indulgent bullshit there.
I've only seen tiny bits, as I (dob '89) was over that shit by the time it came out.
by far and away, so should have Bam and his peers been, let alone his parents patience with getting their house fucked up.

Kind of goes back to what I said: the pranks were amusing, but it was more funny when Bam got pranked instead, cause he obviously gets assmad when the tables turned.

Koxville is a weird one..he always kinda was. someone a few pages cake said he had weird hollywood glowie vibes...i woudlnt disagree.
everyone else came up from skating or whatever...he just kind of appeared, ready figurehead. keeps real quiet.

Knoxville came from Big Brother magazine, which was a skater mag that wrote pretty much whatever they could if it meant issues were sold, up to and including how to run a self-vibe check, and making fake IDs. Eventually, he ran into Steve-O and what would become the Jackass crew through that.

Knoxville at one point even tested self defense weapons on himself for the magazine and concluded pepper spray was worse then a taser. Apparently the whole thing helped found the creation of Jackass, minus the footage where the crazy fucker tested a pistol on himself with a kevlar vest.

 

[The Token Ethnic]

Knoxville came from Big Brother magazine, which was a skater mag that wrote pretty much whatever they could if it meant issues were sold, up to and including how to run a self-vibe check, and making fake IDs. Eventually, he ran into Steve-O and what would become the Jackass crew through that.

Knoxville at one point even tested self defense weapons on himself for the magazine and concluded pepper spray was worse then a taser. Apparently the whole thing helped found the creation of Jackass, minus the footage where the crazy fucker tested a pistol on himself with a kevlar vest.

Didn't he used to call himself Johnny Knoxville American or something like that in those videos?

 

[CaptainDong]

He tested positive for Adderall, but would a drug test even be capable of determining the difference betweeen Adderall and Meth? Thats a question I don't want to enter into my search history, but from my limited understanding the two are chemically very similiar.

That depends on how extensive the drug testing is. Most pre-employment drug screens (except for DOT jobs such as truck drivers) are only a "5-panel", which tests for THC, opiates, cocaine, amphetamines, and PCP. This test would likely not be able to differentiate between amphetamines (Adderall) and meth. Some places can give a 10-panel or greater drug test depending on what they're specifically looking for (i.e tricyclic antidepressants can be included on a drug test if needed).

I have seen urine drug screens (UDS) that have been specifically 'built' for (typically hospital) labs depending on what the predominant drug of choice is in the area. For example, one area I worked in had a pretty large meth problem, so our ER's UDS' tested for amphetamines, methamphetamines, and MDMA separately. However, I've also worked in ER's where the patient said they took 15+ Xanax/Klonopin and never had it register a positive for benzos. Regardless, I imagine that Bam's UDS probably lit up like a christmas tree.

 

[Tootsie Bear]

Didn't he used to call himself Johnny Knoxville American or something like that in those videos?

In his self defense video he introduced himself as Johnny Knoxville, United States of America.

 

[GooseDisrupt]

This is an impressive fall from grace..
From the guy who pretty much everyone I knew idolised or wanted to bang, to the creepy man you'd do anything to avoid.
You Dunn goofed there Brandon.

 

[Kulee Baba]

Hi Earth Rockers, seems our man Bam is still in rehab or at the very least not posting on Social Media which is a smart move as his Hail Mary Lawsuit to halt Jackass Forever sits in legal docket.

There was actually some good news. Nikki posted via Instagram video of Bam's son Pheonix Wolf Margera (age 3) and for first time to my knowledge he's speaking! It has been long speculated that due to drug use Pheonix might be severely mentally retarded. Nikki asks him to say "Hi Daddy!" and "I'm swimming!" which little Pheonix happily says.

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In all sincerity I'm happy for Bam and the Margera family that the future for the kid looks significantly brighter. I hope Bam will grow up and become a good father for his son.

 

[JackDonaghysSecretLover]

Hi Earth Rockers, seems our man Bam is still in rehab or at the very least not posting on Social Media which is a smart move as his Hail Mary Lawsuit to halt Jackass Forever sits in legal docket.

There was actually some good news. Nikki posted via Instagram video of Bam's son Pheonix Wolf Margera (age 3) and for first time to my knowledge he's speaking! It has been long speculated that due to drug use Pheonix might be severely mentally retarded. Nikki asks him to say "Hi Daddy!" and "I'm swimming!" which little Pheonix happily says.

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In all sincerity I'm happy for Bam and the Margera family that the future for the kid looks significantly brighter. I hope Bam will grow up and become a good father for his son.

yeah Phoenix is probably flourishing without his dad around to drag everyone down

 

[Jeep1971]

a gallardo was like 175k new back in 2004-05, he also did dumb modifications to the car including an aftermarket sunroof. i believe there was a episode about it viva la bam maybe.

He chainsawed through the roof.
I doubt the resale value was high and I don't think it's desperation for money as much as it is being practical. The car will only depreciate over time, and it's not needed so it had to go.

 

[Angry Canadian]

Just chiming in to say I hope Jackass Forever makes 100 million dollars and Bam kills himself when he sees his old friends in brand new sports cars while he purges the two plastic bottles of rum he picked up on special for 8.99 that he bought with change he keeps in a black mamba sock he stole. I'm going to see it every day as long as it's in theaters just to boost the domestic box office to ensure this.

I'd spit in his face but I don't want my saliva to become contaminated by failure.

 

[Rogowski]

He chainsawed through the roof.
I doubt the resale value was high and I don't think it's desperation for money as much as it is being practical. The car will only depreciate over time, and it's not needed so it had to go.

Where they fucked up was having some normie sell it to another normie when Bam could’ve made a post on IG about it and found some rich Kyle to buy it for twice that.

 

[finklerXCX]

Just chiming in to say I hope Jackass Forever makes 100 million dollars and Bam kills himself when he sees his old friends in brand new sports cars while he purges the two plastic bottles of rum he picked up on special for 8.99 that he bought with change he keeps in a black mamba sock he stole. I'm going to see it every day as long as it's in theaters just to boost the domestic box office to ensure this.

I'd spit in his face but I don't want my saliva to become contaminated by failure.

I personally am not going to wish Bam to die. At worst, I wish him to lose his legs and go to rehab.

 

[Angry Canadian]

I personally am not going to wish Bam to die. At worst, I wish him to lose his legs and go to rehab.

The thing is, I've been comparing this Bam thing to the Steve-O thing. I don't think anyone can deny that Steve-O was a complete degenerate when he was video taping himself 24/7 huffing whippets down and kicking holes into his neighbors apartment, I remember watching that stuff on youtube when it was happening and I don't remember ever thinking "whoah, I hope this guy dies"
I can't put my finger on it; I don't know why I have that gut reaction to Bam. There's just something about him, the spoiled rich bratty kid who made mega millions, who treats everyone around him like shit, hmm I dunno. Steve-O always struck me as a retard with a heart of gold, who always meant well even if he was annoying. Bam is the opposite, he's a smug arrogant douchebag, and I can't think of a single redeeming quality about him.

But I guess you're right. Bam's mom is cool and it would suck if she had to deal with Bam's suicide.

 

[Jack Awful]

The thing is, I've been comparing this Bam thing to the Steve-O thing. I don't think anyone can deny that Steve-O was a complete degenerate when he was video taping himself 24/7 huffing whippets down and kicking holes into his neighbors apartment, I remember watching that stuff on youtube when it was happening and I don't remember ever thinking "whoah, I hope this guy dies"
I can't put my finger on it; I don't know why I have that gut reaction to Bam. There's just something about him, the spoiled rich bratty kid who made mega millions, who treats everyone around him like shit, hmm I dunno. Steve-O always struck me as a retard with a heart of gold, who always meant well even if he was annoying. Bam is the opposite, he's a smug arrogant douchebag, and I can't think of a single redeeming quality about him.

But I guess you're right. Bam's mom is cool and it would suck if she had to deal with Bam's suicide.

Steve-O wasn't sending death threats to the directors of movies he wanted in on and didn't have a son who's gonna inevitably grow up fucked cuz of his dad's parenting. Also, as you mentioned, Bam's brattiness and entitled nature.

 

[Rob Wolchek]

I hope Jackass Forever makes 100 million dollars and Bam kills himself

I don't think that's going to happen. Bam's going to likey continue the lolsuit while his mother probably pleads with him to come to god. His come to jesus moment though will be when it ends, I think if he dies it will be accidental. The old cunt can't tie a noose nor does he want to otherwise he would of done itb y now. He'll overdose on something and take his final breath his rollercoaster McMansion all by himself, alone.

 

[Jones McCann]

Steve-O wasn't sending death threats to the directors of movies he wanted in on and didn't have a son who's gonna inevitably grow up fucked cuz of his dad's parenting. Also, as you mentioned, Bam's brattiness and entitled nature.

That's probably what saved Steve-O in the end. People were willing to help him because, despite being out of control, he's a good person. Bam is truly unlikable, even while sober.

 

[Jack Awful]

That's probably what saved Steve-O in the end. People were willing to help him because, despite being out of control, he's a good person. Bam is truly unlikable, even while sober.

People were willing to help Bam too, but he rejected them. That's another difference.

 

[Earth Rocker]

People are discussing Steve-o and his reformation in comparison to Bam's. I think the difference primarily in how we view Bam is 100% TIME.
Steve-O was basically a stupid kid when he was acting out (albeit he was in his late 20's/early 30's). His sober arc was relevant and expected at the time.

Bam is a genuine train wreck. Steve-O got sober in 2008, he was 34 years old. Far too old to be just "20's shenanigans" but much younger than Bam and Steve was at the height of his fame. Let it be known that I absolutely hate Steve-o and think he is a gigantic faggot. With that being said, Bam could've very very easily had the Steve-o influencer arc if he had genuinely gotten sober. Look at Bam's epicly later'ed piece and even then people (the audience) were willing to look past his mistakes and forgive him.
But in 2021, Bam has antagonized every career relevant person possible, been in rehab 4+ times, and made a total fool of himself. Bam has a child and is over 40. He is an absolute failure and will no doubt die this way.
I cannot stress how much I despise Steve-o and to a certain extent one could make the argument he is at least partially to blame for where Bam is today. Steve is a performative faggot theater kid to his core. Even his sobreity and "activism" has shown his devotion to being praised. But Steve is 6 years older than Bam and Knoxville is 9 years older. They were essential figures in Bam's life and his development into the slow motion trainwreck we enjoy in this thread.

I do not wish death upon Bam. It is merely reading the writing on the wall. Drug addiction changes people. If you have not personally witnessed the degenerative changes it can have, consider yourself lucky. Bam will die relatively soon and there is nothing anyone can do except watch (and laugh).

 

[Nonconsentual Pronouns]

Jesus tapdancing Christ, Bam looks older than his own mother right now. Bam has aged like a hobo while April has hardly aged a day since Viva La Bam. I have no idea how she can manage that with all of the stress she's dealt with.

This depressing shitshow makes me want to watch Jackass, VLB and Wildboyz out of nostalgia for better days. Cringy, but better. Happy thoughts are Don Vito cello taped into a recliner with a goofy mask ordering a bunch of fast food through the drive-thru on the back of an open trailer in winter.

 

[Nate Higgers]

the key to infinite love is ready to go to his new home
View attachment 1918968

That cat looks so tired of his shit

April has hardly aged a day since Viva La Bam

I still would.