Careercow Jack Russell Scalfani / Cooking With Jack / Jack on the Go Show / jakatak - YouTube "Celebrity" "Chef", Living Encyclopedia of Gluttony-Induced Maladies, Salmonella Elemental

[captkrisma]

"Upon the west wall he had set up a kind of altar to them, decorated with an assortment of placate offerings Kircher had assured him would nurture their good offices: spareribs, pulled pork, insulin needles. A jug of The Best BBQ Sauce You've Ever Tasted - seven trips to his DoItBest store's collection - stood on the left of the altar, should they require some spontaneous gesture of self-defilement. On the right, a plate of Aunt Myrna's Party Chesse Salad, which Kircher had also advised him to have on hand."

- The Stroke-bound Heart

 

[buttvomit]

Fuck yeah. I have vacation time saved up for this shit. View attachment 2492146

Edit: looks like he ripped off this photo too.

hopefully he's dead by then

 

[Acceptable]

i hate to shit up the thread and interrupt the riviting conversation. but wheres the post that someone made with clips of jack over the fatty doo doo song? i cant remeber who made it

 

[Aaway]

fatty needs a sponsor for his death tour

 

[odumegwu]

i hate to shit up the thread and interrupt the riviting conversation. but wheres the post that someone made with clips of jack over the fatty doo doo song? i cant remeber who made it

Search -> this thread -> fatty doo doo. It was desu91.

Damn, what an excuisite thread it is. Trying to catch up on this thread while sitting in my warehouse at work is my guilty pleasure. I'm kinda sad I'm almost finished. Took me about three months. I really tried to not read everything too fast.

 

[Super Hans]

fatty needs a sponsor for his death tour

View attachment 2492952

Anybody have predictions on who/what Jack will fraudulently claim is his sponsor for his latest excuse to stuff slop through his face? PETA? Bowflex? GiveMe Whateverthefuck?

 

[Guntanator]

View attachment 2492434
Goddamit.
I know I’ve said it, but I have to say it again … I really fucking hate this son of a bitch

Whenever he makes this face he looks so fucking retarded. I can't stand retarded people who think they are better than everyone else. At least be an appreciative retard for the drain on society that you can be, y'know what I mean? But not Jack, he's the self-important, soy-grin, shit eating motherfucker that's better than "you".

 

[Adamska]

Reminder the photo you're seeing is the FTFY version. So while he didn't do a fear-yawn-tard-noise face in the original (since he looked like a toddler about to poop in that one), he did make that face at some point in his well documented life.

 

[introman]

Was watching one of his smoker reviews and found this funny moment. I can't find this Gif in thread, so I made it.

 

[Asperchewy]

I think the tables have turned since his strokes and now it's Tammy who holds the upper hand.

Theoretically, she is the only one in this relationship with working hands.

 

[captkrisma]

Talking about Jack and cenobites...

 

[Hungry Homeless Handjob]

Talking about Jack and cenobites...

View attachment 2494162

I wonder if the severity of Jack's health problems would finally sink in if he could actually see the shriveled organs struggling to keep him alive.
"and this right here is your failing pancreas... here's your fucked-up gallbladder... oh and this is your bloated, fat-scarred liver..."

 

[Adamska]

I wonder if the severity of Jack's health problems would finally sink in if he could actually see the shriveled organs struggling to keep him alive.
"and this right here is your failing pancreas... here's your fucked-up gallbladder... oh and this is your bloated, fat-scarred liver..."

The man had literal gravel ripped painfully and visually out of his dickhole and saw the blood. He doesn't fucking care.

 

[desudesu]

Search -> this thread -> fatty doo doo. It was desu91.

Damn, what an excuisite thread it is. Trying to catch up on this thread while sitting in my warehouse at work is my guilty pleasure. I'm kinda sad I'm almost finished. Took me about three months. I really tried to not read everything too fast.

Here, for convenience. That said, I'm in the midst of making his stroke arm supercut.

Came across South Park's Fatty Doo Doo song and made this on the fly. Basically this thread's theme.


View attachment 2412374

 

[Dead Air]

The man had literal gravel ripped painfully and visually out of his dickhole and saw the blood. He doesn't fucking care.

It's just the water!

 

[DontEatThat]

I wonder if the severity of Jack's health problems would finally sink in if he could actually see the shriveled organs struggling to keep him alive.
"and this right here is your failing pancreas... here's your fucked-up gallbladder... oh and this is your bloated, fat-scarred liver..."

He doesnt give a shit. Im sure after so many doctor visits in the past 2 years alone someone had to of told him why he has so many health issues. He chooses to ignore the fact its his horrible diet that is slowly killing him and thinks its some other retarded reason. If his doctor showed brought up the harsh truth and showed him how fucked up his body is he would look at them with his mouth wide open going "Well I feel fine." and will go to get a second opinion.

 

[GloriousRapeRabbit]

He doesnt give a shit. Im sure after so many doctor visits in the past 2 years alone someone had to of told him why he has so many health issues. He chooses to ignore the fact its his horrible diet that is slowly killing him and thinks its some other retarded reason. If his doctor showed brought up the harsh truth and showed him how fucked up his body is he would look at them with his mouth wide open going "Well I feel fine." and will go to get a second opinion.

This retard has his own head so far up his own ass so he probably does the same shit with his doctors that he does in his videos. Lies....
-Ofcourse im watching my diet. I am leaning Keto Doctor.
- Its okey, its going well. I am down 36 pounds and have tightened the belt one pinhole
- Oh improve my diet you say? Well mr Doctor you know i am on this "profile by sanford" diet and it works very well.
- Oh that....no no i am eating healthy, those kidneystones is because we have hard water at home.

He is simply too stupid to realize how much smarter than him everyone else is so he just keeps the charade on.

 

[Phil Ken Sebben]

He doesnt give a shit. Im sure after so many doctor visits in the past 2 years alone someone had to of told him why he has so many health issues. He chooses to ignore the fact its his horrible diet that is slowly killing him and thinks its some other retarded reason. If his doctor showed brought up the harsh truth and showed him how fucked up his body is he would look at them with his mouth wide open going "Well I feel fine." and will go to get a second opinion.

I'm sure he does care a bit. I mean you tell somebody that if they continue down this road they're going to die in five years that they're going to ignore your advice?

No they'll take it to heart but Mushbrain is addicted to food. That's his happy place. That's why whenever he has something he needs to cram as much of it into his mouth as he can. Literally smash the burger or sandwich into his mouth because he's like a junkie needing a fix. He needs that sweet hit of dopamine to make himself feel good about himself. And since food is his drug he can't just not eat.

We've seen him try to lose weight. It's been 9 months since he started this program almost 36 weeks and he's lost only 30 pounds. That's pathetic for a person his size. He should have lost more than double that by now. But he didn't because he hasn't learned portion control and he hasn't learned to say "no" to fast food. He's eating way too much fat, a lot more protein than he should and not enough veggies. Couple that with how he can't exercise with half of his body being dead and honestly short of wiring his jaw shut there's nothing anybody can do. Mushbrain will suffer another stroke within a couple years and this one will be the big one that either kills him or puts him into a bed because he can no longer move.

 

[stets]

I wonder if the severity of Jack's health problems would finally sink in if he could actually see the shriveled organs struggling to keep him alive.
"and this right here is your failing pancreas... here's your fucked-up gallbladder... oh and this is your bloated, fat-scarred liver..."

Jack has convinced himself that he eats healthy, that he’s on a diet, that Jesus cares about him, and that everything is just fine. He pushes away cognitive dissonance faster than virtually anyone. Some blurry pictures on a computer monitor won’t impact him.

He won’t change his attitude until he’s in the ICU on a ventilator and fighting to stay alive, and then it will be too late.

 

[Shadfan666xxx000]

The man had literal gravel ripped painfully and visually out of his dickhole and saw the blood. He doesn't fucking care.

When the fuck was this?