Careercow Jack Russell Scalfani / Cooking With Jack / Jack on the Go Show / jakatak - YouTube "Celebrity" "Chef", Living Encyclopedia of Gluttony-Induced Maladies, Salmonella Elemental

When will Jack drop dead?

  • February-March 2024

    Votes: 6 0.4%
  • April-May 2024

    Votes: 6 0.4%
  • June-July 2024

    Votes: 18 1.3%
  • August-September 2024

    Votes: 34 2.4%
  • October-November 2024

    Votes: 37 2.7%
  • December 2024

    Votes: 44 3.2%
  • Sometime in 2025

    Votes: 258 18.5%
  • Sometime in 2026

    Votes: 198 14.2%
  • Jack lives forever. The Wendigo Must Consoom

    Votes: 794 56.9%

  • Total voters
    1,395
Why why why the fuck would you stuff a brisket? I mean, different strokes for different folks and all, but just WHY??
View attachment 2499369
Along with appearing undercooked, I can’t decide which physiological horror this resembles most…oozing pus, gangrene, Mucormycosis, or Necrotizing Fasciitis.
Fuck that thing when Jack remembers to upload it a month and a half from now.
Oh god it’s even worse looking up close.

View attachment 2499520
Let me stand corrected; REALLY fuck that thing when Jack bothers to upload it a good 45 days from now. It looks like an abscess and I'd feel shame from fucking up brisket like this; especially since Jack demonstrably cooked one competently once via stealing how to slow cook it in a grill/smoker.

It's fucking raw, that slop in the center looks like pus and it's just there as a toddler tantrum to scream "ME AM EAT HEALTHY HATERS FUCK OFF WAAAAH" and to scare Tammy off, since she has demonstrably enjoyed brisket but sure as fuck hates spice.

Also I really hope he gets more gallstones, since this is the exact thing that makes them, for all he bleats and burbles about how meat good.

Also hilarious Jr. got the big mad over his form sucking. Fuck off and learn to sculpt you gorilla, maybe don't skip leg day. Also get better recording software you pederastic ape.
 
Is it just me or is his right hand noticeably pinker/reddish than his left? Or maybe it's been like that for a while but his hand is usually hidden so it's the first time I've noticed it.
That’s because he can’t be fucked to color balance his camera, but also because his arm’s dead.
 
That’s because he can’t be fucked to color balance his camera, but also because his arm’s dead.
He also seems to have gone full autistic given that he can't stop wearing his Grimmace Shirt. I don't think he's worn any new shirts besides the Watermelon rarely. If he thinks it's an own it isn't though.
 
Lord we've been blessed with another fucked up gem.

If you didn't crowd the pan. You'd have more Browning on the wings.


You could have reduced that balsamic down to a glaze and had the concentrated falcon you were looking for. Melt some butter and mix it in and it may have made a halfway decent coating after you baked them.

Although just drizzling with reduced balsamic would have been enough.
That's exactly what I was thinking. Season them and deep fry, or season and hit with some baking powder and air fry, then sauce em up.
The marinade was stupid, especially since he didn't give the skin any time to dry after taking them out of the marinade.
 
So I skimmed through the video, and all I have to say honestly (besides how he can't replace his shirt and he's done this marinade before basically) is the sole purpose of the video is to vent his ass ache to the farms and deny his fake career is deader than his arm.

He tries to excuse why he's gonna eat like 2-3 pounds of chicken via proclaiming its the marinade's fault that he's making a double batch rather than own up to the gluttony. This of course ignores how he's the stupid that wanted to make a big batch of marinade. This is just him making excuses for why he wants to eat all that meat, and that's why he also burbles out how he's going to go to Jr's house with some... when you know he's just craving Crumbl cookies again.

The other thing to add is how virulent he is in trying to prove he has a palate. He goes hard core just from smelling trying to own us and scream "FUCK YOU HATERS I CAN TASTE GOOD". Thing is, he still only proves he can only "taste" via what went into the food. He just gurgles out "balsamicky" and "buttery". Not a lick on tasting terms like "bittersweet" from the vinegar, no "savory and rich" from the butter, no "peppery with an earthy almost mint like taste" from the poultry seasoning.
 
He also seems to have gone full autistic given that he can't stop wearing his Grimmace Shirt. I don't think he's worn any new shirts besides the Watermelon rarely. If he thinks it's an own it isn't though.
I skimmed his recent videos. He’s been wearing Grimace and Watermelon exclusively for more than two months, although he’s definitely preferring Grimace and has worn it for about six episodes straight. You have to go all the way back to June to find a video where he’s wearing something else, in this case Pumpkin.
 
We've got another jacked up recipe. This man will never learn how to cook chicken.
Interesting that he didn't cut the chicken open like he usually does, which makes it harder to tell if it was raw on the inside. Maybe he's purposely trying to hide it.

Oh god it’s even worse looking up close.

View attachment 2499520
That stuffing looks more like a salad than any of his actual "salads".

Honestly I'd eat this, but the stuffing is probably undercooked.
 
I skimmed his recent videos. He’s been wearing Grimace and Watermelon exclusively for more than two months, although he’s definitely preferring Grimace and has worn it for about six episodes straight. You have to go all the way back to June to find a video where he’s wearing something else, in this case Pumpkin.
I've been skimming through his videos to get an idea on how often he wears that damn shirt, and he's been obsessed with it for a couple of months at least. His prior shirt he was obsessed with was the Bowling Ball one for some reason.
Interesting that he didn't cut the chicken open like he usually does, which makes it harder to tell if it was raw on the inside. Maybe he's purposely trying to hide it.


That stuffing looks more like a salad than any of his actual "salads".

Honestly I'd eat this, but the stuffing is probably undercooked.
It's obvious he picked what he thought was the most cooked wings for his samples, both for the bowl and definitely for the final product.
 
It's been like that for a while. Pretty sure he had peripheral edema too.
100%, just compare both hands/fingers at the start of the video.
 

Attachments

  • hand.jpg
    hand.jpg
    13.1 KB · Views: 83
Back