[10-9-16] Phil's weapons - Claims he's a good person

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Wow, just wow, this may be Phil's most cringeworthy video to date. Where to begin... well for one it looks like he only owns four books in the world, none of which he's likely to have read, but I love that he managed to find a book entitled "Our Bikes, Our Bodies." Because apparently he's not the only man who has a weirdly specific fetish for ultra-feminist bicyclists. Not sure who would bother publishing that crap or why, but even Phil deserves a win once in a while I suppose.

His mumbling has gotten so bad that it now makes Chris look absolutely eloquent! I love the fact that he actually said 'fursday.' Heh. Maybe he is a closet furry after all. The fact that he goes on to explain how I don't want to get hit with his cheap cane because it has a skull on it and how combat boots are a 'weapon' just confirms that we're dealing with a regard who can't tie his own shoelaces, not some bad ass.

Also, I love how he introduces the knife from Scream, as if we're all supposed to instantly recognize it and gasp in shock. Sorry Phil but I don't always remember replicas of weapons from 20 year old movies. I was too busy staring at Courtney Cox's breasts anyway. Haha. Ah memories...

But yeah, he actually describes gentrified Portland as a fucking war zone. As someone who's actually been in a place that had fucking carbombings, kidnappings and drone strikes, I find that one hilarious. Wonder what Phil would do if he actually heard gunfire. Hey, speaking of which, where's his gun? That's more of a weapon than a cheap cane or combat boots Phil!
 
Does he really think his friends are watching these? That's so sad
 
Mogambo said:
Wonder what Phil would do if he actually heard gunfire.
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Assuming he recognizes the sound? Shit himself.

If he doesn't recognize it? Shit himself because it was a loud scary noise.
 
"Shout out to Kiwi Farms if you're thinking about doing a raid on my own apartment"

Jesus christ, Phil. Pretty sure no one here actually wants to set foot in your new garbage dump.
 
Mogambo said:
Wow, just wow, this may be Phil's most cringeworthy video to date. Where to begin... well for one it looks like he only owns four books in the world, none of which he's likely to have read, but I love that he managed to find a book entitled "Our Bikes, Our Bodies." Because apparently he's not the only man who has a weirdly specific fetish for ultra-feminist bicyclists. Not sure who would bother publishing that crap or why, but even Phil deserves a win once in a while I suppose.
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In his housewarming videos he showed us quite a number of books -- all fetish-related (with titles like Chasity for Beginners and How to be Kinkier) and all looked very new; there was no fray or rumples that suggested they'd been lugged around in a bag of pleather bondage gear.

Mogambo said:
His mumbling has gotten so bad that it now makes Chris look absolutely eloquent!
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You gotta admit this is Phil's most eloquent video ever.
 
Phils a 31 year old mall ninja and it's great:story:

Mogambo said:
But yeah, he actually describes gentrified Portland as a fucking war zone.
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Portlands crime statistics are actually about average, or slightly below average. With the exception of theft, which is pretty high (which i'm sure has nothing to do with the homeless situation there)

Ray Streip said:
The fuck does he need a cane for anyway? And then he wonders why his fridge his empty on moving day...
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For his "Fibromyalgia" which him and most other Pitybux beggars have because it's such a generic malady that anything can be attributed to having this "disease". Are you tired? FIBRO are you sore? FIBRO headache? FIBRO. It also affects Females at twice the rate of males, which explains why a lot of internet trannys claim to have it. For Phil, it's just another easy way to grab some asspats.
 
And he thinks this is intimidating? What a fucking r*etard.
 
It's hard to be intimidated by someone literally too stupid to even buy food with tard bucks he gets for free.
 
AnOminous said:
It's hard to be intimidated by someone literally too stupid to even buy food with tard bucks he gets for free.
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It's hard to be intimidated by someone who looks and acts like a satire cartoon character turned flesh.
 
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