11/1/21 Chris Chan Phone Call Update

[Yksi_Toveri]

Evidence against there being a vengeful God:

Chris isn't getting struck by lightning for blasphemy.

But Chris and all the other Gods have eased up on Damnation. That's why there's so much LGBTQ++ today according to Chris Himself and Emmanuel (God above ALL Gods).

 

[Muncie Anderson]

According to Chris himself, he "hates frickin Nazis." Of course I don't believe him when he says it; Chris has a beginners knowledge of WW2 anyway.

On one of his old high school homework assignments that was stolen from 14BC after the fire, Chris turned in a history essay which implied that Japan had defeated the United States in battle. It's a stretch to consider that Chris might have meant the attack on Pearl Harbor, and not the entire conflict between that and the atomic bombs dropped on Hiroshima and Nagasaki in 1945, but he was probably totally uninterested in the assignment and only wanted to do just enough to consider it completed so he could get back to vidya, watching cartoons and sleeping in classes.

 

[Nikes_JustDoIt]

Evidence against there being a vengeful God:

Chris isn't getting struck by lightning for blasphemy.

For: Giving what Chris wanted, he wanted a boyfriend free girl/not dying a virgin , worldwide fame and finally away from barb and getting attention for being a "girl"

 

[Pointless Sperg]

On one of his old high school homework assignments that was stolen from 14BC after the fire, Chris turned in a history essay which implied that Japan had defeated the United States in battle. It's a stretch to consider that Chris might have meant the attack on Pearl Harbor, and not the entire conflict between that and the atomic bombs dropped on Hiroshima and Nagasaki in 1945, but he was probably totally uninterested in the assignment and only wanted to do just enough to consider it completed so he could get back to vidya, watching cartoons and sleeping in classes.

The US took a lot of Ls through early 1942 due to crap preparations, it wasn't just Pearl Harbor. But yeah that assignment showed how stupid Chris was. He got facts from World War 1 mixed in to that report.

 

[Michael Janke]

but they do have more serious crimes to deal with too.

on the list of serious crimes, this is probably higher on the list.
i can think of tons of shitty crimes the court doesn't want to waste their time with, especially with such a small county that chris lives in.
that list includes petty theft, domestic squabbles, assault as a result of petty bullshit. you'd be surprised the amount of trouble people get into over petty shit
public urination and shit like that.
the court doesn't want to waste their time taking that to trial.
incestual rape is probably above things like aggravated assault on the seriousness tier list, but below 1sr degree muder.
i think chris's crime is at least 1st degree manslaughter tier.

 

[Yksi_Toveri]

i think chris's crime is at least 1st degree manslaughter tier.

Perhaps, especially if there are other felony charges charges (rape, grand theft, elder abuse et al) that we don't know of yet. In some podunk county like Greene they deal with DUIs and domestic violence more than anything with drug busts being a distant 3rd mostly. A serious crime occurs every 1 day 3 hours (on average) in Greene County with less than 1 murder per year (per stats), so this is one of the more serious crimes they've had this year.

 

[185405]

Two interesting things for me:

1. Chris-Chan dumped a Liquid Bob letter in the toilet. When will weens realize that pretending to be characters in Chris' life doesn't work.

2. Chris believes his dream about getting arrested was prophecy, and considers his arrest as something that was "most likely in the majority of timelines". Does Chris believe he was destined to go to jail or something? That's pretty depressing to say about yourself.

Chris has gone to court many times so maybe somewhere buried deep inside his tiny brain he knew he is stupid enough that eventually would get jailed.

 

[Governor Rocknar]

Two interesting things for me:

1. Chris-Chan dumped a Liquid Bob letter in the toilet. When will weens realize that pretending to be characters in Chris' life doesn't work.

2. Chris believes his dream about getting arrested was prophecy, and considers his arrest as something that was "most likely in the majority of timelines". Does Chris believe he was destined to go to jail or something? That's pretty depressing to say about yourself.

Premonitions are dreams BEFORE the events of the dream occur in real life.

Chris is confusing premonitions for post-traumatic stress disorder because he has no frame of reference for PTSD and his subconscious mind is still trying to parse out all the events from July 29th to August 6th, the most stressful part of the arrest.

 

[Tikbalang]

Idk how you got that he made them drinkable by making them in a bottle. I think it's pretty clear he is just using the bottle as a container. I doubt chris is making a ramen slushie and gulping it down.

Unless he has a razor to cut the top part of the bottle, he has no choice but to crush the noodles and make drinkable ramen. Obviously the bottle will be too hot to hold and could damage if used repeatedly. I know the commissary has tupperwares that inmates use for ramen.

The more Chris learns about cooking the greater the likelihood of him communicating via smoke signals eventually, unfortunately it will only be to indicate a fire is nearby.

He better learned his lesson after the coffee maker incident. If he did the same on the microwave, not only inmates have chance to escape, some would rather stay and sharpen their shank.

 

[Vendetta]

Who did he make this call to? I didn't realise that prisoners were allowed to make phone calls.

Power level, but we got jail calls and jail mail when I was on the radio. No idea why they were using their phone calls to make requests, but they did it.

 

[Alpha Kennybody]

Evidence against there being a vengeful God:

Chris isn't getting struck by lightning for blasphemy.

I'd argue chris's entire life is divine punishment. In an earlier incarnation he must have been Judas, Caligula, Hitler, Joseph Smith, and Walker from Spec Ops: The Line.

Sadly, it seems that no one is going to throw a book at Chris.

If Gotti was the Teflon Don, Chris Chan is the Teflon Tard.

It's remarkable how day by day Chris seems to be exploring more and more distant reaches of despicableness. Prison has crystalized his worst attributes. He's at the point now where I can't even picture him in normal society. Can you imagine how talk like this would go over at his old church, with the neighbors, or with people at the mall? It's only been a few months and he's degenerated into not being at all functional in society. When he does eventually get out, behavior like this is going to get him either punched out or slapped right back in cuffs, or both.

Not going to lie, if I ever met him (which I won't), I'd be happy to vent some of my frustration on him. Of course, that's just internet-hardman talk though, but I've got no love for a Rape-o, and that's what Chris is. Chris already has limited options of where to hide and who to ask for shelter on behehalf of being anti-social, egotistical, unhygienic, lazy, and narcissistic. You want to pin rapist on to that, and not even the white knights will offer him shelter for long.

 

[Spangled Drongo]

How low-tech the ways of Chris talking at the world have gotten.

It used to be YouTube vids, social media, and other internet stuff.

Now it's just letters and now phone calls.

It's kind of incredible in its own sad way though that even without access to his consoles and vidya, he's so invested in his "original" amalgamation of two video game characters that he hasn't given up on Sonichu. I guess it comes as no surprise because Chris' fantasy world has become so much more than just a simple ripoff of two popular games (he's copied so much other shit yet made it completely his own at the same time, which is quite the feat to say the least), it's his whole life at this point and so ingrained in his psyche that he's completely incapable of thinking any thoughts that don't involve his Mary Sues.

 

[ToroidalBoat]

[...]

Didn't he used to imagine characters in Goosebumps novels as Sonic characters back in Manchester?

 

[Juan But Not Forgotten]

If Gotti was the Teflon Don, Chris Chan is the Teflon Tard.

Disagree, since Chris was called that after Gamestop and Snyder incidents, where he has next to 0 repercussions. Here he will spend year in jail and maybe something on top in prison, but in the end in no way this is going to be the adequate punishment for fucking his own probably demented mother in a course of a month. For this he should be kept away at least from her, but that's no gonna happen.

 

[Hopkinsville Goblin]

Unless he has a razor to cut the top part of the bottle, he has no choice but to crush the noodles and make drinkable ramen. Obviously the bottle will be too hot to hold and could damage if used repeatedly. I know the commissary has tupperwares that inmates use for ramen.

On November 8 Chris said he has a 20oz plastic tumbler cup with a lid that he eats out of.
BTW, the wiki has 20oz switched to 2002, complete with link to that year. Could someone fix it?

 

[Alpha Kennybody]

Didn't he used to imagine characters in Goosebumps novels as Sonic characters back in Manchester?

one of my favourite moments. He couldn't visualise how he looked, so he'd spend hours staring at a mirror to train himself, so he could imagine himself in the books too.

 

[Piss Man]

one of my favourite moments. He couldn't visualise how he looked, so he'd spend hours staring at a mirror to train himself, so he could imagine himself in the books too.

Damn, no wonder he draws himself as skinny in the comics. He deadass doesn't know what he looks like

 

[coryiodine]

Who did he make this call to? I didn't realise that prisoners were allowed to make phone calls.

it twas me

Who did he make this call to? I didn't realise that prisoners were allowed to make phone calls.

I wish we had an uneddited version of this, I know we can work out what questions he was asked but I'd like to hear them just to add a little more context.

im the creator of the video if anyone wants answer email me at coryiodine@gmail.com

 

[Governor Rocknar]

I'd argue chris's entire life is divine punishment. In an earlier incarnation he must have been Judas, Caligula, Hitler, Joseph Smith, and Walker from Spec Ops: The Line.

"I have existed from the morning of the world and I shall exist until the last star falls from the night. Although I have taken the form of Gaius Caligula, I am all men as I am no man and therefore I am a God."

- "Caligula" (1979)

 

[Radical Goodspeed]

Disagree, since Chris was called that after Gamestop and Snyder incidents, where he has next to 0 repercussions. Here he will spend year in jail and maybe something on top in prison, but in the end in no way this is going to be the adequate punishment for fucking his own probably demented mother in a course of a month. For this he should be kept away at least from her, but that's no gonna happen.

Taking a long view on this, I'm not entirely sure about the Teflon Tard characterization. Do we measure justice in merely terms of legal ruling? Do we not have a legal system where one party can exploit the legal system to bankrupt a rival? Is that itself not a form of punishment? A person found not-guilty can still be ruined form legal fees. Snyder and Bell got Bob's pension. Debt repayment became a part of the same escapist fantasy world Chris created to act out power fantasies and pave over personal trauma. Even if Chris is too dumb to see it, there was backlash.

I've been questioning the Snyder Incident a bit in recent months in regards to how much the Chandlers got away with. The Gamestop Incident was a slap on the wrist for sure (counterpoint: no one was actually hurt except when Chris maced himself while disposing of it), but the Snyder case cost them most of what Bob left them, in either legal fees or the settlement with Snyder. There were financial repercussions after that, but Barb and Chris were already mainlining credit card debt and stretching his tugboat as best they could, so the effect isn't as immediately noticeable. Chris was going to e-beg either way, but the Snyder Incident pushed him out of the carefully laid safety-net Bob had been cultivating ever since he realized his last son was an unemployable retard. Chris would have had to grow up and take care of himself eventually, but that first arrest forced him into being the breadwinner that much sooner, when he might have been able to coast until Barb died. Up to now, even just playing house has been too stressful for him, save for the parts where he clearly enjoyed himself. Its aged him, and I think its a major factor on how we got here.

The only way I don't see the Snyder thing as them paying a hefty price is that Bob's inheritance wouldn't have lasted very long one way or the other (spending after the fire would have probably claimed what was left). I'm not sure how it all would have worked, but Barb would have pissed it away.