2017 Chris-Chan Prediction Thread - What do you think the new year shall bring (or take away from) our favorite lolcow?

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My predictions for 2017:

Q1:
-Trump sperging throughout, with highlights being the weeks before and after the inauguration, although Jan 20 will be the high point until the end of February when Chris asks Trump to allow Killary (Yes, that was intentional) to become POTUS on Christian Love Day. THIS WILL INCLUDE NEW SONICHU MATERIAL. I doubt we'll see pages or a full "episode", but at least one drawing of fantasy land should show up.
-Something else crazy at birthday time.
-Chris will slowly purchase the items on his Christmas Wishlist, and may make claims that some of those items came as donations. Not sure whether they'll be sent by pornstars or not, though.
-Something leading to a court appearance.

Q2:
-Cwitine will feel a yearning in his mangina and resume the sweetheart search. Chris will predictably be unsuccessful, but some sort of scandalous media will be released.
-With the end of winter, we will see an increase of activity related to Operation: Financhu.
-Chris will make some purchase he shouldn't have, and will post about it all over social media.

Q3:
-Chris will attend the anime con again. He will dress as the same dumb pony shit, too.
-Continued begging. Chris may also contrive some new scheme to fraud weens of their money.
-More cats, most likely from Pollo or Sorbet getting loose and getting themselves some sweet cat strange while away from 14BC, thereby proving their mastery of the sweetheart search.

Q4:
-If there is a sudden change in temperature, Barb will become ill and may be hospitalized or worse. Kiwis will rally and let Chris down easy if it is serious, as they did with the fire of 2014.
-Another nod from Sonic Team USA.
-Another shitty C-mas for CWC n pals, including another ignored wishlist.

NOTE:
-Barb's health could change at any time, I just think next winter is most likely it will happen. Regardless, I believe the farms will send a care package.
-Orange Cream may reappear with spring, either found frozen and deceased somewhere on the property outside of the home, or just due to increased stray activity with the thaw.
-Trump hate will flow sporadically all year, but the extent will be determined by policy decisions/impeachment or other bungling from Uncle Don.
 
About five years ago I had on my profile a quote by another member something to the effect of, "I don't know what Chris' life will be like in the future, but I'm pretty sure McDonalds will be a part of it."

I'd say that was a wise prediction then, and will continue to be accurate for this year.
 
I have a gut feeling that this year, Chris will have a prolonged hospital stay probably with an exceptionally aggressive bacterial infection. This, combined with the death of Son-Chu, will send them irretrievably into the red. 14BC will be repossessed and there won't be enough equity in it to pay the debts.

Chris will fall into endless depression without the toy hoard. I'm sure it's the only thing between him and suicide since he seems to have given up on the love quest.
 
You son of bitches are faster than me and someone kind of already said both of the things I wanted to say but Chris will A) realize he is never gonna get laid and makes his dreams true and fucks Borb B) decides to become a trans lifeline volunteer to answer the calls once in blue moon if he bothers and then Greta and Chris find each other and love quest is over for good.
 
Count Olaf said:
The new year is finally here so it's time to start speculating about what it will bring for the Chandler household.

Will he get better?

Will he get worse?

Will this be the year Barb dies?

Will the Financhu Crisis reach it's long awaited climax?

Will this be the year that Chris decides to wear a wig?

Or will he just shit himself and do nothing?

Lets here it. The floor is yours.
Click to expand...
No

No

Most likely

No

.....Maybe?

Yes
 
Will Chris get better?

No. Better and worse for Chris have no meaning. To him, it's just that everything is shit and it's all the dang, dirty trolls fault.
 
chris will die but reincarnate as the sanic totem from when it was made
and be forced to watch himself make every mistake again
 
He'll get a little worse as he lets his despair turn into further rationalization that he can continue to justify his poor behavior and moronic decisions. No one will love him, Barb will continue to get more feeble and more controlling, and his chances at happiness continue to be long gone and never to come back. It will be sad because he started out as a sweet but creepy kid that had no chance because his parents raised him in a bubble but never bothered to get him neutered
 
This year will see Barb join the Internet Lumberjack in the Great Beyond. One wonders how long until Chris notices, given her habits. Then things will get intensely interesting as a mountain of responsibilities fall onto Chris's lap, which we all know his reaction to. The Financhu Crisis will explode. It will be wonderful.

For now, looking forward to Pmurt taking office and the following Facebook post.
 
Isn't predicting Christory kind of pointless? The CWCki and the forums both agree that Chris is predictably unpredictable.

Who saw the return of the unclit coming?
Who saw the frozen navy coming? (pun unintended)

Chris is funny as hell, but let's not go overboard trying to get inside the ever-thinning hairline head of a mentally handicapped man. There are more productive things to do IMO, so just sit back and popcorn. :popcorn:
 
I think we will see snippets of old Chris again (sex moves video and the jizz freezer) but he will also surprise us again with something crazy, I doubt anyone predicted the pepper spray incident or the unclit 2.0.
 
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