2019-04-10 DSP Got Married - Replacing the Gorilla Munch mascot put us on the bad timeline.

[One Sick Puppy]

Congrats Phil!

 

[Salubrious]

I hope the marriage drags ona logn time, and like everything else Phil bogs himself down with, it slowly erodes away at his sanity, causing potential lulz during a new season finale. Plus, now he has another thing he'll get triggered by troll tips over. Bet it won't take long for a "Blacked Kat" joke to get made.

I really feel like this is going to be one of those marriages where it lasts for decades even though it's been clearly over for a long time, just because both people are afraid to be single again. We've all seen those. Plus, DSP can't take the "L" in his mind from the detractors saying it'll never last, so he'll never initiate the divorce short of Kat committing a felony against him.

I'm just going to say that they never divorce, but just live in misery the rest of their lives. Which is an even worse fate.

 

[samovski]

Honestly, if he hadn't harped on and on about how much money he doesn't have and how he can't possibly get married and he might have to sell his house, he could have had a decent wedding without most people caring too much. Instead he has, what seems to be, an extremely modest wedding and people are still wondering how much was spent. The constant lying makes people wonder if his parents actually did pay for it all. I will admit that it is unlikely that he spent thousands on the wedding itself but I have a hard time believing he didn't spend a ton of money while out or on the honeymoon if they have one.

This seems like a cheap wedding to me. A registry office kinda deal. Probably cheapest he can find. I'd imagine the dress and suit cost more than the service tbh. Nothing wrong with that of course. But by his own words it can't have been too extravagant.

 

[ZehnBoat]

I really feel like this is going to be one of those marriages where it lasts for decades even though it's been clearly over for a long time, just because both people are afraid to be single again.

lol kat is a golddigger
if she finds a guy with more money, she'll ditch phil's ass

then again, with them married, kat has phil by the balls

This seems like a cheap wedding to me. A registry office kinda deal. Probably cheapest he can find. I'd imagine the dress and suit cost more than the service tbh. Nothing wrong with that of course. But by his own words it can't have been too extravagant.

i'm sure it'll eat phil up for the rest of his life that his big day had him waltz into a building with a rented tux and walking right back out then having his picture taken with a smart phone

 

[Xenomorph]

Can one of you lovely folks shop Phil as Al Bundy on the couch?

 

[Pubic Enemy #1]

Possible range of money spent on rings: $0-500

According to the link @SoapQueen1 sent - which isn't confirmed but it does look likely - Kat's ring cost between $1000-4000. Not confirmed she got her ring from there, but it does look remarkably similar, and those amounts do seem might coincidental.

 

[Salubrious]

lol kat is a golddigger
if she finds a guy with more money, she'll ditch phil's ass

I can't deny that, but she's been with DSP for a year now. We all know that DSP has been wildly exaggerating about his tax problems, but it's still clear that DSP has a lot of debt and spends a lot of his income on useless shit with no resale value like his double internet connection.

So where is the gold to be dug in DSP? Yes, he grosses $100K+/year, but most of that clearly goes out the window in mortgages and credit card payments. I know DSP begs a lot about his bills, but I believe to a certain extent that even with his gross income that he's still living paycheck to paycheck, and those paychecks are unreliable. DSP has no liquid assets, and neither condo has any equity in it.

It's weird for a gold digger to marry someone like DSP when she clearly has to know by now that he is iron sulfide.

 

[DiabeticSP]

Imagine marrying someone.

Your wedding photos are taken in his parents duplex by cellphone.

Your 'ceremony' is signing a marriage certificate at the courthouse for 35 bucks with said parents as witnesses.

There is maybe a fancy-ish dinner.

Your honeymoon night is some hotel (which you've been staying at for a few days) in the burbs.

The closest you got to a wedding vacation is greasy local joint pizza, patting a few house cats, and almost going to the zoo then hanging out at a 'fancy' mall.

You're flying back home in 2 days to resume working.

Your new husband spent all night drunk tweeting "detractors on the internet".



Like, fuck I know we shit on Phil for being a scumbag, but honestly? I wish he'd at least used the tax begathon bucks to take this bitch to Disney World for her honeymoon.

The 17k he begged for is too close to what people projected for to think he lied. I do think he has a huge tax bill.

Why the marriage now? No idea. Because he's autistic and his mom is probably pressuring him to settle down already.

I think the initial lie was because his parents bullied him into visiting to meet Kat/see their son and admitting that wouldn't be as 'manly' as visiting sick/older parents (they also probably guilted him with that).

I dont think he was planning on marrying her until sometime after the trip was planned. Its the same ramshackle last minute no effort shit he did proposing to Leanna.

 

[Xenomorph]

Personally I can see a little pooch on her lower belly. For her to be showing in any kind of way she would need to be in the second trimester. Speculation of course. But if she was preggers she would be around 4/5 months.

 

[That Damned Tiger]

I'm just going to say that they never divorce, but just live in misery the rest of their lives. Which is an even worse fate.

Of course they won't divorce. Too much pride and egotism.

Can one of you lovely folks shop Phil as Al Bundy on the couch?

Al Bundy > Phil. Mostly because he had friends and is actually funny.

 

[BOLDYSPICY!]

When Chantal started taking diet advice from a "psychic doctor" (with no degree, imagine my shock) who purports to commune with "a ghost from the future" who educates him about nutrition, I didn't even bat an eyelash. But I got completely blindsided with this.

Fuck this dude, fuck his sick-ass parents, fuck his wife, and fuck his two fucking mortgages. The fucking audacity of this motherfucker. He just legitimized everything any fucking a-log has done to his faggot ass. Fuck this fucking guy.

I'm just hoping for a miscarriage pregnancy arc that he can tard cum for like 5 years.

Honestly, I hope to God a real miscarriage doesn't happen. No woman should have to deal with that pain, even Kat.

Leanna's ring has been found:

Kat's has not. It is important that you find this information so we can identify who DSP loved more.

I know cost isn't everything, but $238? For an engagement ring? What a fucking cheap-ass.

 

[DarkScrubPhil]

This absolutely was for tax reasons.

DSP rushed to marry khet because the deadline to file your taxes is april 15th and filing jointly as married would offer a major tax break for DSP, as khets likely meager income (someone with a criminal record and no skills likely earns minimum wage working retail) would be combined with DSP's for tax purposes, and since he's married, his tax bracket basically doubles now which gives him a fuckload more leeway in terms of any future tax filings. He likely got bumped down a tax bracket solely because he did this marriage, which likely saves him thousands of dollars ever year from here on out for federal taxes. The one big thing here is the event of a divorce. Activist judges have been throwing out prenups at record rates the past 20 years or so (as if DSP was even smart enough to get one), and if khet ever were to file for divorce, it would absolutely destroy DSP financially to the likes of which we've never seen. You have to remember, DSP makes amazing money, his big issue was he has taken on the debt of someone who makes 7 figures, even though he barely makes 6. If khet were to take half of DSP's assets, he would lose the house guaranteed as well as basically be fucked for a very long time with alimony. Even moving to an apartment in seattle wouldn't be sustainable financially in the event of that happening, and he would essentially have to move back to connecticut or become homeless. Getting married is essentially the ultimate high risk/high reward prospect for phil. If he stays married forever, he reaps major tax benefits for the rest of his life, but if it ends in divorce his life really is destroyed forever.

That's not true. If Phil were marrying Kat for tax reasons, he would have done so before the end of the year.

The IRS, for tax filing purposes, looks at your status at the end of the tax year, not when he files.

 

[Need Help With Tips]

I said we weren't gonna get married but you guys didn't see when I said we weren't gonna get married. April fools dood

 

[Juan But Not Forgotten]

Around Christmas, Kat tells him she's pregnant.

Spoiler: Sorry

Whoaaaat? What's happening? Dood, I pulled it out! I pulled it out! How is this fair?! I do what they told me to and I get this? There is nothing I could do! Fuck this!

 

[Salubrious]

Al Bundy > Phil. Mostly because he had friends and is actually funny.

Al and Peg also had chemistry together and actually loved each other deep down. That was the entire backbone of the series.

 

[Very Honest Content]

Interesting legal question on that front:

• DSP was due to make estimated tax payments for each quarter of 2018 and didn't do it (April 18, 2018, June 15, 2018, September 17, 2018, and January 15, 2019)
• DSP iss due to make an estimated tax payment for the first quarter of 2019 and won't do it (April 15, 2019)
• DSP needs to have paid in full his taxes by April 15, 2019
• DSP will engage the IRS in a payment plan on April 15, 2019

The IRS calculates interest on estimated payments starting the date the estimated payment was due (April 18, 2018, June 15, 2018, September 17, 2018, and January 15, 2019), NOT the tax filing and payment deadline (April 15, 2019.) It stands to reason that means DSP's 2018 tax debt to the IRS began on those dates- which were before the wedding...The IRS will evaluate how much of the refund is DSP's (most of it because he makes most of the household's money) and how much is Kat's. The amount attributed to Kat will be returned.

Hi DSP: You're gonna have to pay your tax guy even more next year because your situation just got more complicated.

Plenty to unpack here, but my question is how would you expect Phil getting a refund due from the IRS when he owes taxes here under your own logical presumptive deductions? Kat, if she's owed any refund, would have to file more paperwork to get her money back unclaimed from her husband's delinquent tax status prior to marriage unless their change in filling status cleans up all the owed to the government portion of the tax totals significantly enough to get Phil back off the liability portion of their financial statement on that financial front.

That's the motive that Phil's parent's house wedding couple picture tells on his face to me at least, filling status benefits foremost on the mind. Kat's just happy to be there it seems to me because she seems nice in general and is willing to settle with little to no sense of envy for others maybe?

 

[Filthy Greenskin]

With people speculating that Kat is showing some pregnancy chub, she's also been living at Chez Gout for the past year on a diet of instant dinners and sugary tomato sauce. Even if she does 'go to the gym' regularly, you can still turn into a porker if you have a shit diet which is likely going by her now-husband.

 

[Grotesque]

Wishful thinking, but is there any possibility Phil gets banned from Twitch?

Kat's just happy to be there it seems to me because she seems nice in general

You've posted twice about Kat being nice. Just because a bitch is quiet on stream, that doesn't mean she's nice. She's a proven homewrecker.

 

[samovski]

Wishful thinking, but is there any possibility Phil gets banned from Twitch?

What for? Getting married? No chance as of yet, we don't know he used the marathon money for this wedding. Even if we knew he did, he didn't break any rules anyway. So sadly I doubt it. Give it time though, it'll happen.

 

[MG 620]

I can't believe the US still has alimony.