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2023 Prediction Thread - Locks Jan 1st - 2022 was the Year of the Chud, the Lolcow and surprisingly (depending upon who you ask) the Gator. List your predictions for the year 2023 and play long!
Up to Three Submissions for Card:
1. Ralph gets spitroasted by Vickers and Morris in court and will go into jail/prison.
2. Ralph can't shut up and gets his ass kicked (again), but not as bad as in Portugal. "ARREST HIM!"
3. DSP still outlives everyone.
Additional Predictions:
Likely:
1. Rekieta can't stop getting high off of the ballwashing from wine aunts/moms and turns into a true cow, denouncing the Farms and Null.
2. The incest charge sticks and CWC will be sent into prison.
3. Nick Fuentes getting his ass kicked either by moon crickets or commie faggots. It's most likely getting caught on tape.
4. Kinochet doing shit so retarded that he will get his own thread.
Less-Likely:
1. Metokur manages to make it through 2023, even if there will be radio silence for at least 2 months.
2. Nick Fuentes' sex tape getting leaked.
3. Baked Alaska's meth handjob tape gets leaked and Milo completely loses his shit.
4. Godwinson turning into Ralph's co-host.
5. Ralph putting off his glasses at Ralphamania and someone taking a picture of it at the best possible moment, providing evidence that Ralph's eyes are crooked as fuck.
Wtf, lol?
1. Ralph manages to piss off a cartel member and we will see footage of him getting killed.
2. Fuentes sells cozy.tv after he realizes his political career is over.
3. Baked Alaska manages to get shanked and die in prison.
4. Dick Masterson getting busted for possessing CP.
Up to Three Submissions for Card:
1. Idubbbz and Anisa will get divorced (or Creator Clash 2 is going to be a complete trashfire, tanking Icuckkkz repuation even further)
2. Keffals will kill himself or pull a Byuu and pin it on the Farms.
3. Chantal will be divorced and goes back to Canada after SALAH gets his residence permit to Leafland.
Additional Predictions:
Likely:
1. Shädman will be sent to prison.
Less-Likely:
1. Several troons are outed doing heinous shit so bad that mainstream media picks up on it, doing irreversible damage to the tranny fad.
2. WWIII kicks off. We all die by nuclear hellfire (the lucky ones) or in a ditch with radiation sickness.
3. A "famous" JewTuber (1mil. subs minimum) that wasn't a cow turns into a full-blown one.
Wtf, lol?
1. A tape of Jim Sterling jacking off or being naked while larping as a woman gets leaked.
1. Sex tape leaked of Rekieta banging a tranny
2. Warski has a complete mental breakdown, runs naked into traffic screaming BEEEJAAAMS
3. Boogie dies but from something unrelated to being fat and having cancer (he rolls his car or something idk)
Additional Predictions:
Likely:
1. Ralph knocks up a random ho, Meigh will either leave him or pretend she's into being cucked
2. Blade finally has to get something amputated
3. PPP somehow gets even fatter
Less-Likely:
1. An as-yet-undiscovered lolcow will launch another crusade against the Farms, will also lose bitterly
2. Upon getting out of prison, Baked immediately maces someone else and gets arrested again
3. Meigh leaves Ralph of her own volition, runs off with a Mexican
Wtf, lol?
1. Jim face reveal
2. Fuentes revealed to be a method actor doing it all for the lulz, catboys everywhere on suicide watch
3. The Lich Queen dies.
1. Ralph flies to a different country and gets beaten up again for soliciting underage girls
2. kween kewfawls will detroon after getting btfo so hard
3. Jim Metokur will live through the entirety of 2023
Additional Predictions:
Likely:
1. Nick Fuentes' kanye/groyper shtick dies completely and he reveals he's gay to try and grift the homosexual left and/or the 'conservative' right, possibly falling in with Milo again
2. Baked informant goes to a fed prison and gets fatter from fed food.
3. Chantal's boyfriend/husband forces her to lose weight OR gets her even fatter (depends entirely if he's a feeder or not)
Wtf, lol?
1. Fatrick Tomlinson realizes HE is the stalker child
2. Granny tranny Tommy Tooter revives the tranch for great stone justice
3. PPP finally gives birth to Warski's cokefiend black baby
1. Ye unalives.
2. Boogie has another public felony incident to revive his dying channel.
3. Anisa Johma claims she was sexually assaulted/raped on the bottom of someone elses tweet.
1. Chris's autism deferral works but he is relegated to a group home.
2. Ralph dies.
3. Rekeita becomes a full blown cow and his streams become defined by trolls.
Additional Predictions:
Likely:
1. Barb dies.
2. Russia wins the war and the media and their clapping seal audience forget about it and move on.
3. The Great Chicago Nig-Out of January 2023 begins when the no-cash bail law goes into effect.
Less-Likely:
1. Johnathan Yaniv's rot hole puts him in the hospital for sepsis or gangrene.
2. Keffals gets arrested for child porn.
3. Drachenlord's new place of residence is doxxed and the cycle starts over.
Wtf, lol?
1. Another Brenton Tarrant copycat manifesto nigger.
2. Trudeau is assassinated.
3. Kanye West begins campaigning and preforms the roman salute on stage.
Everyone took my predictions so ill just do the wtf category ️
1. Spectre, Christorian X and Kinochet come together and make a podcast called "The Daily Bottomfeeder".
2. Kanye gets tired of "Ye" and names himself "Lord Niggercockem of the Rebellion". Demands Everyone call him that or he chimps out. Buys every shirt, hoodie, and dress ever made from Gucci and has his artists weave "LORD NIGGERCOCKEMS 24'" on every one of them. Sells them for 20$ each because Lord Niggercockem is a man of the people.
3. Warski breaks up with PPP; then starts streaming with flamenco and jims dead body. Flamenco literally goes and steals Jim's lifeless, maggot infested corpse from the cemetary. They eventually get arrested for being graverobbers.
4. Gator still tries to fuck somethingweebtrash and the empty egg carton denies him at every turn. Maybe invite her to this thread Gator? I hear people her age love Bingo night.
Also an actual prediction I don't think I've seen:
Someone else from AF gets arrested. Probably multiple. Thanks Baked!
1. Ethan Ralph ends up in another endless legal battle with yet another father of his baby momma who he doesn’t marry
2. Vito gets arrested for possession of child porn
3. PPP gets fatter
Additional Predictions:
Likely:
1. Null loses that weight
2. Ethan Ralph DUI arc
3. Patrick S Tomlinson shoots someone who thinks is one of his “stalkers” but is just a random black man
Less-Likely:
1. Nikavocado dies from heart failure
2. Boogie dies
3. Russia takes Kiev
1. Kanye gets investigated by glowing alphabet agencies
2. Keffals has a major meltdown online over sexual misconduct allegations
3. Barbra Chandler finally kicks the bucket
Additional Predictions:
Likely:
1. Elon gets butthurt and bails on Twitter
2. Gunt catches an STD
3. Ben Collins crosses a line and gets absolutely shitcanned by every news outlet
Less-Likely:
1. Kanye drops a new album
2. Ukraine gets a WMD dropped on them
3. Orson Zedd tries to comeback to the Farms
Wtf, lol?
1. The Tranch Civil war breaks out, leading to actual arson on the property
2. Nick Fuentes catches HIV
3. Chris walks free, summons the Antichrist, and is actually discovered to not be delusional. Null is labeled as a prophet, and we are all saved as “True Believers” as Chris spares us from the Lake of Fire.
1. Murdered by the Cartel
2. Divorces Meigh
3. Gets arrested and thrown in prison
Additional Predictions:
Likely:
1. Beaten up on foreign soil for a third time. (if he's living in Mexico is the USA foreign soil now?)
2. Meigh gets pregnant again and has a son that Ralph sees befor Xander
3. Gets cheated on by or cheats on Meigh
etc.
Less-Likely:
1. Actually sees Xander for the first time
2. "Leaked" Honey Moon Sex Tape
3. Finger rots off from pawpaws ring
etc.
Wtf, lol?
1. Truly finds Jesus, repents his sins, and starts to turn things around.
2. Ends the year without any court cases hanging over him
3. Makes a single genuine apology.
etc.
1. Nick Rekieta swaps wives with Ralph.
2. The Horse gets pregnant again.
3. Chris is released and moves in with Ralph where they start the live stream equivalent of The Odd Couple.
1. Vaush has a "sexual misconduct" arc
2. Drachenlord develops a drug addiction
3. Ralph declares a former ally to be an enemy. Going with Queen Kuh-falls.
Suggested free space: Patrick Tomlinson remains fat
1. Keffals finds a way to open a new gofundme
2. 99% of lolcows who left twitter for mastodon will return to twitter
3. another tranny commits 41% and people will blame the farms
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