2023 Prediction Thread - Locks Jan 1st - 2022 was the Year of the Chud, the Lolcow and surprisingly (depending upon who you ask) the Gator. List your predictions for the year 2023 and play long!

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1. Kanye goes broke and Nick Fuentes goes woke like Richard Spencer and sells Cozy TV to some other streaming site.
2. Ethan Ralph gets booted off Cozy and crawls back to Odysee with lackluster support, back to streaming to 3-400 people max like in 2021.
3. Andy Warski starts a new show with someone else. PPP reunites with Surfer, who is now homeless, and they learn to grift together.
 
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1. It's theorized by a KF member or Gunt orbiter that Meigh's child is developmentally delayed. Ralph denies it.
2. No Killstream IRL events.
3. Ralph doesn't get doxed unless May takes a poor opsec selfie.

I don't know how good of a mother she is but the concern is there.
 
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Up to Three Submissions for Card:

1. Nick Rekieta trash talks Null
2. Twitter returns to being a pre-Elon hellscape
3. Keffals apologizes to Destiny, they stream together.
 
Up to Three Submissions for Card:

1. Ralph's new location is found (self dox)
2. May leaves Ralph
3. Nick reaches true lolcow status which leads to Null no longer being friends with him


Additional Predictions:

Likely:

1. Nothing changes in the Ukraine Russia conflict
2. Jim stops streaming (not because he dies, he'll just get too sick)
3. Kanye campaign ends with him denouncing Fuentes, and saying he was merely pretending be retarded


Less-Likely:

1. Ralph and Andy team up again
2. Keffals is arrested for Sexual Assault of a minor
3. Null has the greatest month of his life

Wtf, lol?

1. Elon becomes aware of KF and offers to finance (not serious)
2. Numerous Politian's are arrested for treason
3. Null goes to Canada and claims the true queen of KF Chantal as his bride
 
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Up to Three Submissions for Card:

1. The Tranch moves to Pennywise's house, Bonner has to cope, seethe and dilate over his property becoming a wasteland.
2. Keffals/Eliot/another retarded troon tries to take down the farms and fails miserably in the process.
3. Nick Rekieta goes full SJW and starts sucking tranny cock.

Additional Predictions:

Likely:

1. Chris gets released from custody, and gets sent to jail again because he immediately tries going back to his house.
2. Ralph gets his shit beaten in another country again, may or not be Portugal to.
3. Kanye starts sucking jew cock in a pitiful attempt to unfuck his life.

Less-Likely:

1. Ralph has another child.
2. Gay sex tape involving Nick/Milo/Kanye gets leaked.
3. Eliot Dong Gone gets fired/gets arrested for doing one too many consent accidents.

Wtf, lol?

1. Kanye commits suicide via gunshot wound to the back of the head.
2. Chris gets sent to a autist home and gets killed by an unreleated schizo/and retarded ween wanting to be "christory's greatest troll".
3. One of the #DropKiwiFarms trannies joins the 41%, and of course, we get the blame.
 
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Up to Three Submissions for Card:

1. Jim survives 2023
2. Joe Biden takes a fall and goes FDR mode
3. Ralph shart incident #2873


Additional Predictions:

Likely:

1. Tranch abandoned
2. Minecraft youtuber pedophile saga #8612872
3. Boogie dies again
etc.

Less-Likely:

1. PPP buries the hatchet and joins a MATI stream
2. Destiny unironically names them
3. Baked Alaska extended sentence
etc.

Wtf, lol?

1. Ralph redemption arc
2. Nick Fuentes has a child
3. Patrick Tomlinson admits fault and apologizes
etc.
 
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Up to Three Submissions for Card:

1. PPP loses a substantial amount of money betting on the Super Bowl and begins grifting in ways more shameless than anything seen before.
2. Fuentes is booted by Kanye after Kanye falls in with the Nation of Islam; Kanye becomes a Howard Hughes-style recluse.
3. Baked Alaska gets extremely fat in prison after his parents load up his comissary with cash and he sits around depression-eating.


Additional Predictions:

Likely:

1. Patrick Tomlinson drunkenly posts a picture of his penis.
2. Warski aborts another child.
3. A passed-out drunk Blade has a toe eaten by a stray dog.


Less-Likely:

1. Matthew Vickers dies from something retarded like choking on a pretzel and Ralph experiences the equivalent of religious ecstasy.
2. Milo hooks-up with fellow weird homo David Brock and becomes a DNC shill.
3. Something Awful finally shuts down.


Wtf, lol?

1. Ralph loses a shit-load of weight but is somehow even more unhealthy than before.
2. Zoe Quinn kills another guy.
3. Schmorky remerges as a Born-Again Christian and no longer wears the Yarn Wig.
 
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Up to Three Submissions for Card:

1. Ethan Ralph Divorce Arc
2. KingCobraJFS will lose at least one tooth
3. PPP and Warski will get into a physical altercation (and at least one of them cries)


Additional Predictions:

Likely:

1. Confirmation that Chris Chan gets time served and ends up in the looney bin forever
2. The forum will have a bunch of downtime, gets reported as dead, then comes back again. Registration is locked for 3 months.
3. The feds and Kanye will get bored with Fuentes and his catboys and cut all ties

Less-Likely:

1. Chantal starts saying a lot of bad things about God's Chosen and finally gets the boot from youtube
2. Chris gets set free and finds a place to live, helped by the state or some retard
3. The forum has a moment of widespread positive attention. Registration is locked for 3 months.

Wtf, lol?

1. Chantal actually joins ISIS and moves to Syria forever.
2. Ralph loudly admits his love of eating actual shit and dog murder.
3. A leak from the forum proves that 90% of the users are not only convicted stalkers but are also actual children.
 
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Up to Three Submissions for Card:

1. Tim Pool will sperg out at the patrons to his coffee shop he builds
2. Taylor Lorenz will be let go from the WaPo. She will then release dirt on everyone
3. Sam Hyde will confront Hasan in person and Hasan will run away. He will then say he spared Sam.


Additional Predictions:

Likely:

1. Ethan Klein will stop making money for YouTube and will be terminated to eliminate a perception of Jewish preference
2. TheQuartering will sperg about people not buying his coffee
3. Metekour will die
etc.

Less-Likely:

1. Lydia from Tim Pools show will have nudes/sex tape leaked
2. Patrick Tomlinson will get kicked out of Hooligans for life
3. Nick Fuentes will be revealed to have a blacked fetish
etc.

Wtf, lol?

1. Tim Pool sex cult
2. Jack Murphy will be invited to MSNBC/CNN to talk about how the right wing attacks jews with non-conservative sex views
3. A 2015 Kiwifarms user will be doxed by the MSM and be made public enemy
 
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Up to Three Submissions for Card:

1. Ralph gets his 3rd beating in Portugal
3. Chris gets released and is taken in by a ween, starting the couch serf(ing) saga
3. Random Deathfat dies( safe bet)


Additional Predictions:

Likely:

1. Andy Warski gets a tranny girlfriend ( totally not gay)
2. Reiketa goes full degenerate mode
3. Tranny girlfriend breaks up with Andy and starts showing up on Tim-cast (totally not gay)

Less-Likely:

1. Any lolcow learns a meaningful lesson
2. The tranch comes back, but with less animal abuse
3. Re4 remake is good

Wtf, lol?

1. Balkanization of North America
2. Keffels gets monkey pox in the new annual Toronto all mens orgy
3. More Aidyn Paladin nudes are dropped ( nice essays, better tits)
 
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Up to Three Submissions for Card:
1. PPP and Warski will break up, daddy jim will have a "the casino is burning down" stream
2. ITS ANOTHER GODWINSON LIVE NEWS UPDATE
3. Ralph will be mentioned by pewdiepie, pewds will reference a farms meme

Additional Predictions:

Likely:
1. There will be substantial proof PPP overpowered and anally raped a drunk warski
2. Rekieta meltdown storyline, outside chance he is nearing divorce by end of 2023
3. There will be a week long crisis on the farms started by the vtuber thread, blood will be spilled, history will vindicate null on the anime question

Less-Likely:
1. Right wing twitter drama spreads to the farms, major flame wars break out as major accounts are doxed in mass
2. Milo's blackmail vault leaks, it has invaluable material which american leftists use to connect jan 6th to gamergate
3. A middling youtuber attempts to create an hours long "the entire history of kiwifarms", videos are neutral but they suck
4. A major sports star has a leaked nudes breakdown and creates a farms account to argue with people

Wtf, lol?
1. A major celebrity death is leaked on the farms a day before its reported by the media
2. John mcafee is alive, he will be in contact with jim watkins, highly likely he is now qanon
3. Elon musk or jk rowling will link to kiwifarms after a troon does something heinous, tucker carlson utters the name "joshua connor moon"
 
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Up to Three Submissions for Card:

1. kingcobrajfs spice saga kicks into full gear
2. ralph just dies. no report of why until a full 8 months later
3. cyrax kills someone
 
Up to Three Submissions for Card:

1. Nick Rekieta goes full retard and tries to reveal information about Null that backfires on him; Josh proves that he's got more common sense by not having revealed anything damning to Nick. After this occurs Nick gets worse and somehow gets arrested for it, and/or is no longer able to practice law.
2. Liz Fong-Jones or the Dropkiwifarms faggot commit suicide. Double points if both.
3. A major tranny e-celeb/regular celeb will detransition, starting a trend of other detransitioners.


Additional Predictions:

Likely:

1. Henry Cavill gets accused of rape but he deflects it because man's been training his whole life to deflect bullshit.
2. Ethan Ralph has a major health scare or something that ends in a surgery that keeps him out of the game for a while but he films himself being himself while in the hospital
3. Eugenia Cooney finally croaks.
4. Byuu returns.

Less-Likely:

1. Catboys are out -- bunny boys and girls become the new it thing.
2. Biden croaks, Capitol Hill becomes the designated shitting street.
3. James Earl Jones becomes the next iconic voice actor to pass.

Wtf, lol?

1. Null gets a gf, Kiwifarms implodes after this discovery and it becomes the new cool thing to start big speculation shitposts after AnOnimous or Dyn makes the first ridiculous girlfriend shitpost.
2. The Try Guys get a fat black "queer" diversity hire to take Ned Fulmer's spot whose entire personality is being a special snowflake. This person clearly clashes with everyone else but they can't get rid of it because "racism."
3. Ethan Ralph and Meigh have another child.
 
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Up to Three Submissions for Card:

1. Catboys are referenced by CNN in a Fuentes hit-piece and trannies start an internet campaign to reclaim catboys from Fuentes.
2. Keffals gets increasingly desperate for attention post-#DropKiwiFarms and does something incredibly stupid.
3. Chris Chan is released from jail and is fucked with by attention-seeking retards and bribed with McDonald's like Terry Davis


Additional Predictions:

Likely:

1. Elon Musk puts off selecting a new Twitter CEO, and when he does, nothing changes.
2. The Biden administration has a televised summit about how totally not antisemitic they are, and that being antisemitic is gay and cringe.
3. Chantal evicts Peetz so her Muslim husband can move in.

Less-Likely:

1. Rekieta opens an OnlyFans.
2. WingsOfRedemption's chair collapses on him live.
3. BakedAlaska abandons his trad-Catholic-alt-right persona after the Ye2024 campaign fails and shifts into a Libertarian then eventually full-on Liberal.

Wtf, lol?

1. After an extended period of silence, Ethan Ralph shows up in a cartel execution video.
2. Boogie, playing his Francis character, attempts to rob a bank to pay his crypto-related debt.
3. Patrick S. Tomlinson brings a news crew into his house, and a sausage maker is visible in his basement.
 
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1. Jim dies
2. Troons die
3. Soyfags cope


Additional Predictions:

Likely:

1. Some gay shit happens and gets pinned on KF
2. Biden fucking dies
3. Boogie dies
4. Russia annexes the contested 4 regions of Ukraine
5. Murdoch Murdoch makes a return

Less-Likely:

1. KF gets hacked and accounts leak
2. Major debate/court case in the US about the legality of child porn/pedophilia
3. Civil wars start it at least 2 countries
4. THEY make an all-encompassing blacklist to bar dissenters from receiving any payment in any form
5. The EU loses one more member state
6. Dick Masterson abandons his career

Wtf, lol?

1. The 19th amendment gets repealed in the US
2. Israel gets abandoned by its allies
 
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1 - nick rekieta sex tape, or at least nudes that are more than just his hank hill ass (maybe even with the balldo?)
2 - something happens with kingcobrajfs that finally results in the clintervention
3 - ethan ralph dies, either from the cartel or from fat
 
Up to Three Submissions for Card:

1. Tammy Slaton dies, has to be cremated in a zoo.
2. Ralph has another kid with a different woman & his money starts to run out real quick because of it
3. PPP & Warski have a surfer-esque falling out


Additional Predictions:

Likely:

1. Jim Metokur croaks
2. OnlyUseMeBlade dies, commentary youtubers suddenly give a fuck about him & grift hard
3. Yaniv has contact of a sexual nature with a minor

Less-Likely:

1. Ethan Klein has his 26382nd controversy, actually sees consequences for it
2. Nikocado will actually lose weight
3. Ethan Ralph has a heart attack

Wtf, lol?

1. Foodie Beauty gets beat/punished for eating pork
2. Joe Biden reveals his dementia was a ploy to coax America's enemies into making powerplays, reveals himself to be an ultrapatriot & Dark Brandon rises.
3. Russian missles strike outside of Ukraine, other Eastern European nations join the fight directly, Western European nations refuse to join in, leading to the collapse of the EU or even NATO
 
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